I try to reply to every email I get, but sometimes I just don't know what to say These questions are actual questions that have been emailed to me. How would YOU have answered them ? Or am I just getting to be a bad tempered old misery - guts ?

Problem emails #1 - "read the website pleez :o)" I've tried to put all I know on the website already !! "i just got my boa and I really would like all the info that I can get!!!!! the do's and dont's. It really would help me in caring for my boa." What more can I say than what is written on the website ? "all about them" read the web site ? I myself do not like little creepy critters, but hate to see it die,as it is one of God's little animals. Some people are saying this is normal, I just don't buy that. Have you any advice? ditto

Problem emails #2 - "I'm not running a shop :o)" I don't run any shops or businesses connected with snakes. Other than the occasional personal sale or purchase, I do not sell snakes or any reptile equipment. Please don't get stressy with me because I don't supply reptiles or equipment by overnight delivery. Neither do I know the location of any reptile shops outside of Kent in the UK, and I don't know many in Kent. (I've lost count of the times I've had people demanding pythons by return of post) "im interested in getting a really cool snakek either a red tail boa or an albino i live in brisbane where should i go i dont no where they sell them.." Bear in mind I'm on the other side of the world from Brisbane !! "I am looking for a dwarf African Python. They are said to be extremely docile. Do you know where I might be able to find one of these reptiles. ." Africa ?

Problem emails #3 - "what am i supposed to say ?" Some questions are beyond me ! "will you tell me all the the python species in order by size " Would if I could ? "My husband and I have a male Ball Python and a Female Burmese Python. We were wondering if it is safe to mate them " They weren't joking "Hey dave - Listen, im lookng into getting a boa, but i just need to know if and what risks im taking by getting one. I'd be getting it anyway, i find these snakes absolutely enchanting, but i just need to know what could - even if far-fetched - happen. Thank you so much." It might grow huge and eat you ?   "I’m a Kenyan interested in doing a drama on the current saga of Omieri, a python that is believed to be sacred by the residents of Nyanza province in Kenya. For the past two months, these adherents claim to have literally been feted the python with sodas and chapattis, as an inducement to the snake so as it may bring good harvest and other luck to the local area. I need facts about pythons as I intend to do a video drama on Omieri. Looking forward to your reply." ? "Please could you tell me what the biggest thing ever found in the stomach of a snake is?" No ! "My husband and my daughter have a $100 bet on which is actually bigger. We know that the reticulated python is recorded to be longer but which is bigger or maybe the question is better asked as How do you decide what makes a snake bigger.. length, weight, or both." What am I supposed to say?

Problem emails #4 - W.T.F. ??? Go on then - you answer them !! "Hey Dave - I want the snak right but the man you knowe well so I said yeah and he said right so what you tell him OK " W.T.F. ?   "reptil 4 sal green macs WY $100" do wot ? "what constrictors of boas and pythons do not " what constrictors of boas and pythons do ? "COULD I BREED A PYTHON WITH DIFFRENT PYTHONS HAS I HAVE BEEN LOOKING AT TREE PY " ???? "why to hold a 7ft Boa when it is trying to get away from u " ???? "ples tell me al about snaks, breaders, the worx"   "all about them " What does this mean ?   "WHAT STUFF CAN I DO TO LEARN ABOUT SNAKES." ! "to learn more about raising boas" Snakes - the final frontier ? "Can you identify this for me. It was in my garden hibernating while we were clearing some plants, cannot find it anywhere online, would like to know what it is." A lizard ? "this is the boy that was using his moms screen name but i using mine now what i mean by what cnake is bigger is like which snake is better the central american boa or the ball python like which one is good for a 13 year old wanting a snake that doesnt get that big." ???