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1 November 2022
(Tuesday) - A Bottle Of Plonk
Perhaps
not getting home till late last night was the issue, but I didn’t really sleep
at all well last night. It was one of those nights when I woke feeling full
of energy and raring to go after an hour’s sleep, and then just dozed
fitfully for the rest of the night. I
was up far earlier than I really needed to be. After yesterday’s little
contretemps (!) Morgan was as good as gold doing that which was
expected outside (and not in the bathroom), and both got their reward
of an hour or so on the big bed. As
they all slept I watched some of the new season of “Big Mouth”. Now it is
into its sixth season it seems to have rather lost its direction… like most
TV shows do. As
I watched it I sorted my socks (be still my
beating heart!), emptied the clan (it’s a Munzee thing) and then
had a look at Facebook to see what I’d missed overnight. Apart from (quite
possibly) the worst
cover version of a Sparks song that I have ever seen, I hadn’t missed
much. Three Facebook friends were having a birthday today; I sent birthday
wishes to the two who have contacted me in the last few years, then got ready
for work. Having
parked quite close to home last night I didn't have my seemingly usual
morning ritual of wandering the streets trying to find where I'd left the
car. I
set off through the rain to Pembury, doing my best to avoid the other cars;
the drivers of many of which seemed hell-bent to run everyone else off the
road. If not driving (quite literally) up the centre of the road, many
were spontaneously slamming on the brakes and doing U-turns for no
discernible reason. As
I drove, the pundits on the radio were talking about the fuel crisis facing
the country this winter. It is hoped there will be no power cuts or
blackouts, but no one seemed able to give any firm assurances. Consternation
was being expressed that there are no reserves of gas being built up. I can't
help but wonder just who would be building up these reserves, bearing in mind
the country's power generation has been farmed out to private companies. Any
spare money these companies might have had to spend on building up a sensible
gas reserve is under threat of being stolen by the government as a windfall
tax. You can't blame them for not taking any chances, can you? There
was also a lot of talk about the abysmal conditions in the refugee camp at
Manston airport. No one seemed to address the obvious cause of the crisis
though... Six years ago the United Kingdom was part of an international bloc
dealing with the issue. Now that international bloc has solved the refugee
crisis by letting through as many as want to come to the UK where they become
somebody else's problem. I
stopped off at Tesco to get a couple of bottles of plonk. The customers in
Tesco were pretty much as bad as the drivers on the road this morning; not
one was looking where they were going. I also bought some Kenco coffee
three-in-one sachets. They were far better than the Nescafe ones... and far
more expensive too. I
got to work; today was exciting… “Exciting” in a blood bank isn’t
really a good thing. I was glad when home time came, and doubly glad I’d
swapped out of the late shift. I
came home through torrential rain to an empty house. “er indoors TM”
had taken the dogs out and got caught in a downpour. The poor pups looked
more like seals than dogs. Once they’d dried “er indoors TM”
boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching the
quarter-final of “Bake Off” and washed down with one of the bottles of
plonk I’d bought earlier… That
was nine quid down the toilet. |
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2 November 2022
(Wednesday) - Bit Dull Really
Again I found myself wide awake far too
early. The puppies were rather obliging this morning and we didn’t have to
stand outside in the cold and dark for *too* long before coming back
in. I
made toast, watched an episode of “Big Mouth” then had a look at the
Internet as I do most mornings. One day it will be amazingly different… but
not today. The religious adverts were out in force today. I used to be
religious once… The local Facebook community groups were naming and shaming
burglars by sharing their photos (supplied by Kent police). I must
admit that seems like a good idea… all the time that it is a real burglar and
not some innocent whose photo is being shared. As I pootled on-line so “er
indoors TM” came to and fro with
various consignments of dog sick (to throw down the loo); something
had upset the dogs’ bellies overnight. From personal experience I’d rather
deal with dog sick than from the other end. I mention this in case any of my
loyal readers are considering getting a dog. Don’t ever let it be said that I
paint a rosy picture of dog life… they can be foul creature, you know. I
perused the Munzee map to plan a trip for tomorrow morning (when it is a Qrewzee day!) then got ready for work. As
I drove to work the pundits on the radio were all a-twitter about the
revelation that no end of people with criminal records and all sorts of
sexual predators have been allowed into the police force. It's
no secret that I've a very low opinion of the Old Bill based on quite a few
personal experiences of them, but I had no idea that things were as bad as
they seem to be. Perhaps the time has come to bring in some proper public
oversight of what they get up to? And
there was a lot of talk about
Matt Hancock. One-time Minister for Health, Rushi
Sunak overlooked him when setting up his new government a week or so ago, so
with nothing better to do he's signed up for the new series of "I'm A
Celebrity". Understandably he's now had the Conservative whip
withdrawn and now sits as an independent MP... or he would if he was doing
the job he's being paid to do rather than having
pissed off to the jungle for a far more lucrative option... whilst (presumably)
still taking the money he gets paid for being an MP. I
got to work and did my bit, despite having the Pantosaurus
song stuck in my head all day long. How do you shift an earworm? I
feel worn out… If only I could be asleep when I should be asleep
I wouldn’t be nodding off when I should be awake… |
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3 November 2022
(Thursday) - Munzing in the Rain
When
I let the puppies out to do their thing (at half past five!) I saw the
rain had stopped, so I settled them with “er indoors TM”
and went off on a little mission before work. Today was the start of the
Munzee Clan War. I needed to capture two Qrates
very early in the month, and being the third of the
month I could get some Qrewzees too... the way
Munzee is played can be rather complicated (unlike geocaching which really
is just finding a film pot under a rock). I
got two Qrates in Stanhope. As I found one, a
passing driver stopped and asked if I was OK. I assured him I was, but he
stayed parked, staring at me as though I was some sort of weirdo.
Doesn't everyone use their phone to scan the back of a street sign in the
dark before dawn? Once
he finally shoved off I drove down to Bethersden for two Qrewzees and
a Sleepzee (as one does). I had hoped to
deploy in Pembury, but the overnight rain which had stopped came back with a vengeance so I contented myself with four Qrewzees before going to Tesco (as I'd forgotten to
bring any lunch). I
parked up, and walked a couple of hundred yards out
of my way to get round the ankle-deep flood to get to the supermarket. Once
I'd got what I wanted, seeing none of the tills were staffed I asked a
passing manager (or so her name badge said) if any of the tills were
open. I was directed to one of the tills and was told someone would be over.
The manager-type walked off; I heard the word "SERIOUSLY!"
shouted, and a woman with a face like a slapped arse stomped angrily to the
till, glaring at me and muttering about why some
people couldn't use the self-service tills. As
I'd driven from bar-code-on-lamp-post to
bar-code-on-lamp-post (and then on to Tesco) I'd been listening to the
pundits on the radio as I do. There was an article about how people with strong
and broad accents feel that are looked down on by the rest of society... This
was followed by a woman from "Oop Norf" talking about the advertising which is
appearing on Netflix. She was talking about how various "brons" were reacting to this... After a few
minutes the interviewer made it clear that when she was saying "brons" she actually meant
"brands"... Accents? There
was a lot of talk about the scandal of the overcrowding of the migrant centre
at Manston. It was alleged that officials from there have been taking
migrants and dumping them on the streets of London following the discovery of
a dozen
of them at Victoria station yesterday all (so it was claimed)
rather dazed and confused. So much for border control, eh? My
piss did boil at the "Yesterday in
Parliament" bit when they broadcast excerpts from yesterday's "Prime
Minister's Question Time". Have you ever heard it? What is the point
of it? It doesn't actually achieve anything, does
it? Members of Parliament just attempt to embarrass the Prime Minister (whoever
it is this week) and either do so, or make
idiots of themselves in the attempt. Their squabbling is rather pathetic; I
found myself reminded of “My Boy TM and “Daddy’s Little
Angel TM”'s quarrelling when they were six years old, and I
used to deal with it with smacked arses all round
and sending them to bed. Perhaps
someone should smack the arses of the Prime Minister
and the Leader of the Opposition and send them to bed? A job for our new
King, perhaps? Having
had my Munzee mission rained off I had a little time on my hands
so I went to the works canteen for the brekkie... it wasn't bad, but it
didn't sit well. To be honest it rarely does. I
did that which I couldn't avoid, then (seeing the rain had slackened off
to only a medium monsoon) took a few minutes pumping up the car's tyres
before coming home. As I'd approached the works car park this morning the car
told me that the tyre pressures were low, but I didn't fancy pumping them up
in the torrential rain of the morning. And
with tyres pumped to the car's satisfaction I set off homewards through
thirty miles of thick fog; rather amazed at the amount
of cars that had skidded off the roads into ditches and hedges along the
route home. A
decent bit of dinner, “Lego Masters: Australia” on the telly… Hope
this rain stops soon. |
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4 November 2022
(Friday) - Babysitting before the Late Shift
As
I shaved this morning, with no warning at all my back went into a rather
impressive spasm. I didn’t actually collapse in a
heap, but it came close. My back has never been right since I put it out
whilst trying (and failing) to impress the girls in the Harbour
Restaurant forty-odd years ago. I
made toast and fought with my lap-top. Yet again the
Firefox browser wouldn’t do anything at all. Eventually I gave up with it and
went with Google Chrome, but no matter what the browser, there wasn’t a lot
happening on-line. I'd
read on the local Facebook pages yesterday about how horrendous the morning
traffic on the A2070 is, so I left home to get to “Daddy’s Little Angel TM”’s
flat with plenty of time. I found absolutely no delays at all and drove
through the A2070 without stopping once. As
I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about how the bank of England
is having to clear up
the aftermath of Liz Truss and Kwasi Kwartang,
and how what those two did looks set to throw the country into the longest
recession in history. Will it? I don't know, but it amazes me that you need
qualifications to be a plumber or electrician or solicitor or surveyor (or
blood tester!) but demonstrably any old half-wit can just have a go and
balls up the country. Isn't it time that the offices of state required some
oversight as to exactly which doombrain is being
put in charge of them? I
got to Folkestone about forty minutes earlier than I had expected, and so
went on a little Munzee mission; opening the Qrates
I found yesterday (A result, if that floats your boat!). And
then as “Daddy’s Little Angel TM” went off on a driving
lesson I sat with Pogo and “Darcie Waa Waa TM”.
Darcie wasn't really settled today. She slept for about half an hour whilst I
played "Goat Simulator", but then woke and was very
restless. About ten minutes before “Daddy’s Little Angel TM”
came home, “Darcie Waa Waa TM”
did a series of rather epic farts, which
probably explained a lot. I
then set off for work. As I drove the pundits on the radio were
interviewing people who had had atom bombs dropped on them whilst they did
National Service. Understandably the survivors want compensation. Perhaps not
quite so understandably, they also want an apology. Bearing in mind whoever
had the idea to drop atom bombs on National Service lads is long dead, who
would make that apology? I
had a rather good drive from Folkestone to Tunbridge Wells. Although it took
a while, the way was rather pretty. I got to work and did that which I
couldn't avoid. Being
on a late, I didn’t leave work until after nine o’clock. The overnight road
works at Bethersden had expanded somewhat since
Monday’s late shift; so much so that I was diverted through Tenterden. As I came through Woodchurch I stopped the car
to look at the deer on the side of the road. The deer were quite fearless;
only moving when I tried to train my camera on them. I
came home via the co-op just up the road; “er indoors TM”
said we needed milk. There was no other shop open between Tunbridge Wells and
home. I
got home fourteen hours after I left home this morning… |
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5 November 2022
(Saturday) - It Rained... A Lot
I
woke feeling particularly grim this morning. What was that all about? I’m
blaming “Darcie Waa Waa TM”. But
(as always) I could either sulk, or I could get on with life. So I made toast and got on with it. My
laptop invited me to find out what my McAfee Protection Score was as I booted
it up this morning. I clicked the button and (for once) the Firefox
browser leapt into action (funny, that!). It told me my protection
score was 794/1000 which was “very good”, and suggested I clicked on a
link to find out three ways to improve the score. I clicked, and immediately
my score dropped by a hundred. The three things it recommended were: To
install their app on my mobile (which I did when I got the thing two years
ago!). To
install inti-virus software (which comes with their package and was
installed years ago!) To
review a data breach when my password to MyFitnessPal was breached four years
ago. I
saw there was a geo-meet scheduled for today. In the rain. I wasn’t keen. I
also saw I’d been accepted into the “Ashford Dog
Socialising Group” on Facebook. This bunch offer meet-ups
for dogs every Saturday at Repton Community Centre. It turns out that there
are three meetings; the first one is for puppies and the smaller and more
timid dogs. After that is a meeting for medium sized dogs, and then one for
larger ones. Usually
when at a loose end on a Saturday I take the puppies to Dachshund club,
but that is a round trip of fifty miles. Repton Community Centre is walking
distance (not that we walked!) So with “er indoors TM” and Treacle
off on an errand for “Daddy’s Little Angel TM” I took the
puppies over to Repton Community Centre where we found a few other people all
asking each other if this was the right place. Like me, a lot of people had
only discovered “Ashford Dog Socialising Group” recently (I found
it at eleven o’clock last night!), thought it sounded like a good idea,
but weren’t sure what to expect. I must admit that (as I do in life) I
went along hoping for the best but expecting the worst, but I was pleasantly
surprised. I expect that a lot of my loyal readers wouldn’t appreciate
standing in a wet woodland in the rain making polite conversation with a
bunch of total strangers, but I had a great time. And so did the dogs. We
were at the meet for smaller dogs; Bailey was the smallest dog there (but
not by much) and she and Morgan charged round like things possessed with
their new friends. There were a few “episodes” but everyone there
seemed to understand what dogs are like and no one took offence or got humpy.
For once not one of the “episodes” involved my two; there is something
strangely satisfying when other people’s dogs are kicking off and yours
ignore it with regal condescension. I
took a few photos (as I do). The
only drawback was that it was very wet and a tad cold. Bailey was shivering
at the end, but we were back home and had had a warm bath before ten o’clock.
I wouldn’t say that I’m now finished with the Dachshund club, but a round
trip to them is over sixty miles and takes half the day. With
puppies bathed they were soon both snoring. I put some shirts and trousers in
to wash, and ironed them as I watched episodes of “Four
in a Bed” in which (as always) the most opinionated and picky
contestant was the proprietor of (by far) the poorest guest house in
the competition. “er
indoors TM” and Treacle came home. I think “er indoors TM”
must have whatever bug I’ve got (only a lot worse) as she took herself
of to bed for the afternoon, and all the dogs went with her. The drizzle of
the morning had become full-on heavy rain, so with nothing else to do I
started working on my eulogy. Seriously! I rather upset “My Boy TM” a few weeks
ago when I gave him written instructions for winding up my affairs if and when I croak. My Dad had done just that for me and
my brother, and it was such a sensible idea. However
the first fruit of my loin thought that I was intending to peg it fairly
soon. I’m not, but I won’t tell him about the eulogy just yet. It’s
just that when my father-in-law and my brother-in-law died, it was quite
plain that the priest giving the eulogy had no idea who they were talking
about. If someone is going to stand up and go blah, blah, blah about me I
want it to be factually correct. So, as “My Boy TM” once
got told off (by a primary school teacher) for saying, “if you want
a job done, do it yourself!” The first draft runs to three sides of A4. I expect
(hope) to revise it a few times before it gets used. “er
indoors TM” suggested we might have kebab for dinner. I was up for
that. We scoffed it whilst watching “Lego Masters: Australia”. I do
like that show. I
woke feeling grim… I’ve had a headache all day. I hope I feel better
tomorrow. |
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6 November 2022
(Sunday) - Still Raining
Apart
from a swift tiddle at four o’clock I slept for eleven hours last night. I
finally woke when “er indoors TM” let
the puppies stomp all over me just after ten o’clock. I said I was feeling
iffy yesterday. Having
“done my business” I took the dogs into the garden to do theirs. They
weren’t keen on the idea. The overnight rain was still bucketing down, and
the garden which had been a desert only a couple of short months ago was now
a quagmire, and the humungous tree down the road had dropped its leaves all
over my lawn again. The garden really needed (and still needs) an hour
or so’s tidying up… but not today.. Once it all
dries up a bit I shall see if I can borrow a leaf blower from somewhere. That
might be something with which I could amuse the dogs. As
we all stood in the rain, two dogs eventually did that which was expected of
them; Morgan stood on the doorstep glaring his contempt at the rain, and crapped on the bathroom floor a short time
later. I
made toast and had a look at the Internet. Overnight a friend had posted a
link to my Facebook page. There’s
a castle for sale… Admittedly it is in Scotland, but… *If*
you know what you are doing, the restoration would be a project you could do
yourself. I know of one or two people who live in what I can only describe as
palaces, having started off in tumbledown sheds, done them up, sold them at a
profit and moved on. A castle of my own… It would be good, wouldn’t it? If I
had my time again, I wouldn’t piss about with
testing blood. I’d have learned how to build. Having said that I know of
several builders who are struggling right now. I
just want to be able to afford to live in a pristine castle. Is that so much
to ask? I
then sent out invites to nine other people who waste their spare time
scanning bar codes stuck to lamp posts so as to
build up our clan for the Munzee clan war. It has to
be said that if I scanned a few less lamp posts and learned how to do a
dovetail joint then I might be living in a castle… While
I waited for “er indoors TM” to do whatever it was she was
doing I wasted an hour trying (and failing) to make a small Lego
Dalek. With
the heavy rain showing no sign of letting up we drove down to Hastings. First
of all we visited the hospice to deliver some
donations. Dad had been very impressed with how they had looked after Mum in
her last two weeks, and wanted any donations in his
memory to go to them. Hundreds of pounds were donated on-line, but some
people sent cheques for the hospice to the funeral directors. Whilst that was
incredibly kind of everyone, for me it was something of a “pain in the
glass” (as “Stormageddon – Bringer of Destruction TM” would
say). It’s actually a legal requirement that any
donations that the funeral directors receive in memory of the deceased have
to be forwarded to the executors of the deceased, *not* to the person
or organisation for which they are attended… This
means that (by law) cheques received at the funeral directors (which
is a ten minute walk from the hospice) had to be
posted to me (thirty miles away) so I could then make a sixty mile
round trip to deliver them. With
cheques delivered we drove on to visit sister-in-law… I say
“visit sister-in-law”. Seeing her (and niece and nephew) was
definitely an added bonus, but I am sure she (and niece and nephew) were well aware that my attention was on the puppies. Her
dog had had a litter of puppies a couple of weeks ago. They were such
adorable little things. All but one have now got homes.
I would be tempted to take on the last one, but
being Labradors they will be a tad bigger than I could really cope with. Whilst
there I got perhaps the best cup of coffee I have had for years (must find
out what coffee she uses!) and scoffed some rather good choccy cake
thingies and biscuits too. And as a second added bonus
I got tiddled on. There are some who wouldn’t be too keen on having a small
dog piss all over you; I thought it was rather
adorable. From
sister-in-law we went on to visit mother-in-law. Not having fallen off of any ladders recently (!) she was well. We
chatted for a while bemoaning a nephew who seems determined to utterly stuff
his life up and won’t listen to reason or common sense (but that’s a rant
for another time). The
plan was to be home relatively promptly; but what with daylight saving it was
dark before we left Hastings. We
got home and the dogs went mad sniffing us all over. They were very excited
at the smell of puppy tiddle. I had a shower and put the tiddled-on stuff in
the washing machine whilst “er indoors TM” boiled up
dinner. Despite
the rain, today was a rather good one. |
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7 November 2022
(Monday) - This n That
It
was still pouring hard when I chivvied the puppies out this morning. Constant
heatwave and drought a couple of months ago; constant hossing
down now. It’s a shame the weather can’t be somehow evened out, isn’t it? I
dumped two soaking wet puppies onto a sleeping “er indoors TM”,
made toast, and once I’d watched an episode of “Big Mouth” I had a
look at the Internet to see what I’d missed overnight. Not much really. I
read the same instalment of the latest developments in the life of some
German woman half a dozen times; I know I tell the world about my life every day but I do it here on my own blog. This German woman
blogs daily too… but posts the same update on all of
the Sparks-related Facebook pages. And now some American woman is posting her
weight loss journey to the Facebook Bill & Ted group. Being
a nosey person I quite like seeing what they are up
to, but some people really don’t understand how social media works. With
nothing else happening on the Internet I got ready for work. Not that I would
dream of complaining, but the drive to Maidstone this morning was far easier
than the cross-country drive to Pembury had been for the last two weeks. As I
drove, the pundits on the radio were interviewing the leader of the Dribbling
Democraps about the state of the country's
finances. Sir Whatever-his-name-is missed no opportunity to tell the
world how crap the Conservative party is but had
precious few practical propositions of his own. The Labour party are much the
same at the moment as well. And isn't this why
the country is in such a state? On
the one hand British politics has the Conservative party having a go at
running the show (albeit not that well), and on the other hand are all of the opposition parties saying how crap the
Conservatives are. And the electorate has to choose
between one lot with policies that no one really likes very much (and
*are* crap), and two other lots with no policies other than finding fault
with everyone else. Interestingly
there was also some interviews with American politicians and voters this
morning (in the run-up to their elections) in which it seemed that
American voting was akin to cheering on your favourite football team. No one
was voting for any policies; they were all voting the way they did because
they always have... and also wondering why they got
idiots like Donald Trump in charge in the past and are looking set to get him
again. Democracy,
eh? There
was also talk about the Prime Minister going off to the
COP 27 climate talks for the simple reason that Boris Johnson is going (not
that anyone seems to know why) I
got to work and deployed a Tree House. That should do some good for the
Munzee-ing. And at tea break I got a message
that our clan had reached Level One in the Clan War even though we'd only
been at it since last Thursday. Result! My
phone also told me that I'd been using it (on average) for one minute
a day whilst driving this last week... ! What was that all about. Admittedly
I did have a little Munzee mission on the way to work, but I make a point of
leaving the phone in my pocket until the car is stopped, out of gear,
handbrake on and engine stopped (even though I'm the only one in the car!)
as per the
government's instructions. Why
did the phone think I'd been using it whilst driving? Did it spring into life
whilst in my pocket? I used it quite a bit yesterday when “er indoors TM”
was driving and it didn't have any grumbles? Work
was actually rather busy; today's theme was "iron
deficient". As I looked at the hypochromia and microcytosis I found
myself thinking about days gone by. Years ago there
was a chap who used to appear all over the medical-related parts of the
internet about his theory that God made all the elements except iron. Iron
had been made by Satan, and there was no such thing as iron deficient
anaemia. He would plague all of the biomedical
websites only too willing to show off his misunderstandings and getting
extremely aggressive with anyone who dared to disagree with him. I
wonder whatever happened to him? I
came home and after a quick bit of dinner “er indoors TM”
went bowling. The dogs are showing no sign of settling; not having had four
miles round the woods they will be hyperactive until she comes home… |
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8 November 2022
(Tuesday) - And... It's Still Raining
It
was still raining when I took the puppies out this morning, but they went out
without too much chivvying. Mind you I think Bailey has realised that what
with it being dark it is easier for her to eat turds
without being spotted. I
then dumped the tiddled puppies onto “er indoors TM” then
made brekkie and watched an episode of "Big Mouth" before
setting off to work. As
I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about the MP Sir Gavin Williamson.
He's now back in the Cabinet despite allegations that he was particularly
nasty to colleagues and that he once told an unnamed senior civil servant at
the Ministry of Defence to "slit your throat" when he was defence
secretary. Part
of me wonders just how these people get to continue in their jobs; I
certainly wouldn't be able to. And another part of me cynically thinks that
it is convenient that the senior civil servant in question is "unnamed"
and presumably untraceable... possibly even non-existent? Doesn't
it speak volumes about our government that we are more interested in the
gossip about them than in their ability to do the job? There
was a lot of talk from the COP 27 climate talks. What with the Russians
pulling the plug on Europe's gas supplies it seems there's a lot of African
nations keen
to make up the shortfall. Rather ironic from an international conference
to reduce carbon emissions, wouldn't you think? Meanwhile
Fiji deals
with climate change by moving villages up to higher ground. A simple
idea; if expensive. Understandably they want financial help in doing this,
and the developed
countries aren't keen on helping those in the most need, or anyone come
to that. Mind
you I wonder if money would be forthcoming if the Fijians were fighting
someone? It strikes me as very odd that the Western world is very reluctant
to help those in serious need from climate change (which helps us all),
but only too quick to throw billions at Ukraine so they can carry on fighting
Russia. I
got to work and capped the new tree house. That was good for a few points *if*
you are into that sort of thing. As
I did my bit a colleague gave me a pressie. Her children had been given a
Lego pirate ship, but some bits were missing. Did I want it? Yes please!!! The
plan was that being on an early I would get out early and come home
where I would meet “Daddy’s Little Angel TM” (who would
have just got home from taking Pogo to the vet). We would then take all
the dogs for a walk up to the station and she would get the train home. For
no adequately explored reason she came out without a coat (on a day which
had torrential downpours every ten minutes) and so was soaked through by
the time she’s got to the vet. Having
taken twice as long to get home as I usually do I drove her straight home,
then came home myself. The traffic was a nightmare this evening. From work I
came home, collected “Daddy’s Little Angel TM” (and her
entourage), took them home (with Pogo whinging the entire way)
then came back home myself. A round trip of sixty miles which took three and
a half hours. I’m
worn out… I shall look at that Lego pirate ship later… |
|
9 November 2022
(Wednesday) - Finally Stopped Raining
The
plan wasn’t to wake to the sound of torrential rain. The plan was that the
rain would have stopped overnight. But as I shaved the rain eased off a bit,
so I thought we’d go on our planned trip to the woods; after all. If the rain
came back, we’d shelter for a bit and come back home again. As
we drove the pundits on the radio were talking about that idiot Donald Trump.
Apparently he’d backed several candidates in
yesterday’s American mid-term elections, many of whom lost. This was being
seen as a serious blow for his plans to run for President again in a couple
of years. It was being alleged that there are other candidates being mooted
by the Republican party, and that Donald Trump is threatening to expose all
sorts of scandal and gossip about them. And then I found myself wondering… To
me Donald Trump is on a par with the more feeble-minded eight-year-old cub
scouts that I used to look after. He blusters and postures like a child and
makes the most ridiculous comments and statements. But all that I know about
him is what I hear on the radio and read on-line. It has to
be said that the chap is a multi-millionaire and that he has been President
of the USA. He can’t *really* be as stupid as he comes over, can he?
Just possibly there really is a clandestine conspiracy against him? What
other explanation can there be… Or is he just a rich twit? We
got to the woods as the rain was stopping. The car park was all but empty. We
walked our usual circuit. Despite the recent rains the path was good going.
I’d worn walking boots but it would have been fine
in trainers. However the dogs insisted on running in
and out of the woods and got filthy. Ironically there were loads of squirrels
today, and the hounds didn’t see a single one. At
about the half-way point I reached for my camera. Something was creeping out
of the undergrowth onto the footpath. Long and black and low-down… just like
a weasel but about twenty times bigger. Just as I was about to photograph it I realised it was Morgan. Woops. We
didn’t see anyone until we were three-quarters of the way round when we
smelled someone rather than saw them. There was some chap in posh trousers,
best shoes, shirt, tie and jacket walking along in
the middle of the woods smacked out of his skull on wacky baccy. What was
that all about? Shortly
after this we met a Golden Retriever. The pups said hello to her. She said
hello back (as dogs do) but was far more interested in scoffing the
chestnuts on the floor. As I walked past I could
hear a dog whistle being frantically whistled. A hundred yards up the path
and round the corner was a gaggle of old biddies, one of whom was whistling
away like a thing possessed. Another asked me if I’d seen a Golden Retriever.
I wish I’d said no. The dog wasn’t allowed to eat chestnuts, and somehow it
was all my fault that it was doing just that. My protestations that my dogs
were the three that were with me and behaving, and that their dog was the one
that had gone rogue fell on deaf ears. And they seriously weren’t happy when
we walked on past and kept going. Does
anyone else have an idiot magnet quite as powerful as mine? We
came home and the pups had a hot shower. For all that they had a good time,
Bailey was shivering. I wonder if she needs a coat?
Mind you, Fudge needed a coat but would never wear one. As
the dogs had a post-bath shake-off in the garden I saw that the frankly
far-too-big sycamore tree down the road has (yet again) buried the
garden in its fallen leaves. Raking them out of the gravel takes some doing.
I've got various rakes to do it but getting behind the stone planters hurts
my back (I'm an old man!) I
had a (frankly genius) idea about getting a leaf-blower to gather them
all up? So I took a little detour on my way to work. I
stopped off in Lenham as Andrea had said I could
borrow her leaf-blower. I thought I might have a go with someone else's
before I waste my money on something which is either too feeble to blow
anything, or which blasts leaves gravel, soil and
bedrock down to a depth of ten feet. The
thing looks like being a good toy; I shall let the garden dry out before
having a blow. Or a suck; apparently it sucks too. Result (!) I
then went on to work, and as is usually the case on a late shift, everything
of note today was over and done with before noon. |
|
10 November 2022
(Thursday) - Kebab and Trifle
With
no overnight rain there was far less of a fight to get the puppies to go do
their thing outside this morning. And with things done they went upstairs to
bother a sleeping “er indoors TM” and I went off to bother
toast and coffee whilst watching telly. After
an episode of "Big Mouth" I had a very quick look at the Internet
and saw that I'd had a friend request on Facebook from a very unmoral lady
claiming to be called "Goddest
Stella". He, she or it was trying to
interest me in a website featuring nudey ladies
performing very unhygienic activities. I turned the Internet off, wondering
if because I'd received a friend request from "Goddest
Stella", was there a "Godder
Stella" who simply wasn't as good, or a "Not Very God At All
Stella" who was only starting off on the porn-mongering journey. "Goddest Stella" had been banned by
Facebook by the time I got to work. Funny, that... I
wandered off to my car; having made a point last night of remembering where
I'd parked. As I drove to work the pundits on the radio were talking about
Lord Wolfson (the head honcho of the clothing chain "Next")
who having loudly advocated in favour of Brexit has now
got the arse because Brexit was "not the Brexit he wanted".
It would seem that when all the foreign workers went
home because they no longer felt welcome in the UK, a lot of them who went
were the very people who had been working in his shops and used to make money
for him. Like
we didn't see that one coming? There's an old proverb about being
careful what you wish for, isn't there? There
was also some talk about how the membership of the Royal College of Nursing
has voted for strike
action; this was immediately followed by a lot more talk about growing
NHS waiting lists. A year or so everyone was encouraged to stand on the
doorstep and clap (like demented sea-lions) for the NHS. Now it seems
the nation is being primed to turn against NHS workers. Again,
like we didn't see that one coming? Work
was work. It usually is. As I did my bit I had a
message from “Daddy’s Little Angel TM”. Someone in
Folkestone is trying to set up an AFOL club. For those of my loyal readers
who aren't that sad, AFOL is an acronym for "Adult Fans of Lego".
A local(ish) Lego club? It could be fun if
you like that sort of thing. Which I do. Mind
you, in years gone by I thought the same about the
snake club and the astro club. Although they both
started off very well, both of those eventually dissolved into rather bitter
squabbles. I won't write the Lego club off before it has even started, but I
shall try not to get too wrapped up in this one. With
work done I came home… eventually. It took twenty minutes to get out of the
works car park for absolutely no reason that I could work out. Once out of
the car park the traffic was actually quieter than
usual, so what was causing the jam? Once
home I organised the dogs; this evening it was down to me. Lacey had tickets
to see “D
Block Europe” (who?) at the 02 arena, but what with train and
tube strikes getting there was rather problematical so “er indoors TM”
had driven her up there and taken Cheryl for the ride. With no one else
legally obligated to feed me within striking distance, once I’d fed the dogs
I went foraging for my dinner. I foraged up kebab and trifle; the kebab
having the advantage that the dogs could share it with me. I
think the extra-large portion of both lamb and chicken kebab was perhaps a tad
optimistic; I’m now having a farting contest with three dogs and there’s no
clear winner… |
|
11 November 2022
(Friday) - Before the Late Shift
I hadn’t been up long when er indoors TM”
commented on how ripe the dogs’ farts were this
morning. I smiled sweetly and hoped she wouldn’t make the connection with
last night’s kebab bonanza which me and the dogs shared. I got the dogs leaded up and into the car and
we drove up to Kings Wood. As we drove the pundits on the radio were talking
about the staffing shortages in the hospitality sector. The chap doing the
interviewing commented that he had personal experience of this, having just
been on a short break to the Lake District and found so many pubs,
restaurants and hotels closed from lack of staff. The woman being interviewed
was a leading light in the hospitality sector who again pointed out how
difficult it was to get staff after all the workers went home after Brexit. I
can’t pretend that I thought that Brexit was a good idea, but the government
has had six years to sort it out… It can’t keep on being used as the reason
for all the country’s problems, can it? A government spokesman was wheeled on who
wittered on about how foreign workers can apply to work in the UK (if they
want to jump through endless legal hoops to do so), made the observation
that no one wants to work in the hospitality sector anyway (as it is too
much like hard work), and then said that what with double-figure
inflation and the cost of living crisis fewer and fewer people will be able
to afford to go to pubs, restaurants and hotels, and so the sector will need
a lot less workers anyway. A rather strange admission from a government
spokesman, wouldn’t you think. There was quite a bit of talk about the NHS
as well… since the Royal College of Nursing announced the result of the
strike ballot there has been a definite change of attitude from Radio Four
about the NHS. More and more the talk is about the waiting lists and the
unspoken implication is that this is entirely due to the lazy workforce. Or
am I just being paranoid? We got to the woods and did our usual
four-mile circuit. Just after half-way we heard a voice. There was some
rather aggressive-looking woman a hundred yards behind. “I vould like to come past” she bellowed in a thick
German accent. I don’t know why she had to make the announcement; there was
plenty of space. She ran past with her dog on a lead attached
to her belt; her dog being something huge (quite literally the size of a
small pony). Her dog stopped when it saw the puppies, and when a dog that
size stops, anyone roped to it stops too. She didn’t like coming to such an
abrupt halt. Her dog then started bounding and jumping and playing with the
puppies, and the puppies were playing and bounding and jumping too. The German woman then announced very loudly
to the world (even though there was only us there) that she was sick
and tired of other dogs attacking her dog. I actually
laughed and explained that all the dogs were playing. With a face like
thunder she insisted “Zat
dog is attakink my dog” whilst pointing at
Bailey, who is about the size of a small cat. Eventually she pissed off,
which was for the best. The next chap we met said he’d had a run-in with her
as well… As we got near the car park we met a
Dalmatian puppy who was so excited to play with Morgan and Bailey that she
actually trod on Bailey (several times!) As we drove home “Desert Island Discs”
was on the radio. We only caught the last half of the show. Richard E Grant was
the castaway. I must admit I didn’t think much of his choice of records, and
when he spoke I got the distinct impression that
nothing he said was from the heart, but all had been carefully rehearsed.
Perhaps I’m doing the chap a disservice? Once home the dogs soon settled… Treacle in
the puppies’ crate and the puppies in Treacle’s basket. I set off to work singing along to the songs
that my car plays for me. They are mostly by "Ivor Biggun", but there are three CD's worth of
"The Tiswas Album" and several
other songs best described as "assorted and various". I went to work via Sainsburys as I
needed a sandwich for work... and I also wanted to test that my new credit
card actually worked. I've had issues with new cards
before. Fortunately it tricked the woman on the till
into giving me a sausage sandwich and a bottle of fizz, and once I'd got
those scoffed I went in to work. I say "work"... There was cake, and then I spent a few
minutes explaining to the new trainee that if she walks round carrying
something then people will think that she is busy. And (advanced skiving
technique!) that if whilst carrying something she has a lab timer clipped
to the pocket of her lab coat then people will think that she is
multi-tasking. Several people have commented that I should
apply for the post of departmental training lead... |
|
12 November 2022
(Saturday) - Dog Club, Garden, Job Application
“er
indoors TM” went to the loo early this morning and came back with
the puppies who immediately mobbed me. Treacle then started grumbling, so I
gave up any hope of sleep, got up, made toast, and watched an episode of “Motherland”.
I then spent a few minutes this morning dusting off my CV… or I would have
done if I’d been able to find one less than ten years old. I had various different positions during my time at Canterbury…
I wonder what the dates of those jobs were. I
gave “er indoors TM” seemingly ages, but with her showing
no sign of surfacing I got the puppies onto their leads and left her asleep
with Treacle. I took the puppies round to Repton Community Centre where we
went to dog club again. It was rather good; loads of dogs of about the same
size got to charge around with each other. The puppies loved it; Treacle
would have hated it. I
spent much of the time chatting with an old friend with whom I used to work (many
years ago). It was good to catch up. The
local dog club has got the advantage over the dachshund club in that being
local and starting earlier we are home so much earlier. As the puppies
scoffed a late brekkie I went into the garden and got out the leaf blower that
I’d borrowed from Andrea and Joe on Wednesday. I say “blower”, the
thing only seems to suck, but it was ideal for what I need. It sucks at *exactly*
the right power so as to suck up all the leaves from the gravelled areas, but leaves the gravel behind. And it also doesn’t
suck hard enough to suck up the dog turds either (which
could be yuk!) I borrowed the thing to see if I could actually
use one if I got one; I shall be getting one of my own soon. With
leaves sucked I then ran round the garden gathering up all the dog turds which I had uncovered (there were a few) then
voomed over with the lawn mower. “er
indoors TM” went off out with Cheryl to some Christmas bazaar or
other, and I ironed shirts whilst watching episodes of “Four In A Bed”
in which the obvious favourites to win pulled out half way
through the last episode for no apparent reason. A
quick Google search says that the reason for their leaving was nothing to
do with any damage caused to their hotel, and that the program maker has
offered to pay for any damage. What was that all about? “er
indoors TM” then came home and sliced up the spicy bread/loaf/thingy
she’d baked. It made for a rather good bit of lunch. Then as she took Treacle
out of a little mission visiting her chums, I ran the puppies round the block
(so they didn’t feel left out) then sat down with the NHS Jobs
website. I’m
in a rather odd position… Twelve
years ago I made a mistake at work for which the
management of the time threw me under a bus. Up until then I had been the
departmental training officer and up until I got the heave-ho
I’d trained over twenty students from their first day up to the point of
becoming professionally registered; a process which takes years. After I got
the heave-ho I slowly recovered my position, but
over the last few years (much as I like my job) in many ways I’ve just
been twiddling my thumbs until retirement. A
new position has arisen at work; that of departmental training lead. My boss’s
boss’s boss is one of my original trainees, and she
feels I should be a trainer again. As does a colleague who was once one of my
trainees. As does pretty much everyone else I work with. Do I want to go back
into management? On the one hand it could be a lot like hard work. On the
other hand I really do feel that I am doing nothing
but twiddling my thumbs until retirement. I
shall apply for the job. *If* they offer it to me I shall ask for
assurances that I can just do the training and not have to get involved with
all the other management stuff. And
so I spent a couple of hours blagging my employment
history from memory because (as I mentioned earlier) I can’t find any
of the dates of when I started and finished the carious jobs I’ve done over
the years. One
of the very good reasons for writing a diary is so you don’t have to blag
stuff like that… (!) I
then spent an hour or so trying to write a personal statement about why I
would be the ideal candidate for the job… Trying and failing. I decided to give
up and come back to that later. We
had a rather good dinner this evening washed down with a decent bottle of
malbec. As we scoffed we watched last week’s episode
of “Bake Off”, and then started watching Netflix’s “The Crown”
from the start. I
feel worn out… and I’ve not really done that much today… |
|
13 November 2022
(Sunday) - Collapsing Stool
I woke at five o’clock to the sound of “YOU
SLLAAGG!!!” being continuously screamed. I peeped out of the window and
saw two young ladies shoving each other about in the middle of the road.
After a few minutes the shoving stopped and one of them squatted and had a
tiddle in the gutter whilst the other continued to shriek at her. With tiddle
tiddled the shoving resumed (presumably it is bad form to attack your
protagonist whilst they tiddle?) but it was only half-heartedly, and
after a minute or so the one that hadn’t had a tiddle stormed off down the
road; presumably to find a more secluded spot for her tiddle. I didn’t really get back to sleep after that. I made toast and had a little look at the Internet.
Facebook is slowly filling up with all sorts of Christmas songs and memes… I
wish it wouldn’t. Every year the Christmas hype starts earlier and earlier,
and by the time Christmas actually arrives I really
am sick of it all. If everyone else likes Christmas going on for ever, that’s
fine, but they do spoil it for some other people. Half a dozen people on my
Facebook list are now “snoozed for thirty days”. There was quite the rant going on in one of
the Hastings-related Facebook pages about why the volunteers at the Hastings
YMCA shop weren’t doing something or other. The specifics of the squabble are
irrelevant, but it amazes me that so many people are so quick to find fault
with what others do, and so few people are prepared to actually
do anything themselves. I then posted a rant to the local geocaching page. I’ve got
notifications set up for any new caches appearing within thirty miles of
home, and ten miles of where I work in Maidstone
and in Tunbridge Wells. And I’ve also got
notifications set up for any “Needs Archiving” logs that appear in
those areas too… The “Needs Archiving” logs are coming far more often that the
notices of new caches (which are very few and far between)… And in large part the “Needs
Archiving” logs are from reasonably experienced cachers
(with finds in the hundreds) who have hidden nothing themselves. So we’ve got people active in the hobby who are actively
trying to close it down… The thing used to be fun… We took the dogs up to Kings Wood where we
met Karl and Tracey and had a little wander round some of the paths we don’t
often walk. It was good to explore the parts of the woods we rarely get to,
even if the puppies were a little over-excited. I
took a few photos as we walked. It was a shame that the collapsible stool I
bought over the summer collapsed underneath me so spectacularly on only its
second outing… that was twenty quid down the toilet. I’ve asked for a refund.
Bet I don’t get one. Once home “er indoors TM”
bathed the dogs and had a cuppa which we downed with some of that rather good
bread that she boiled up yesterday. As she then had a bit of a kip
I carried on with my job application, then wrote up a little CPD. That took a few
hours. Over a rather good bit of dinner
we watched the final of “Lego Masters: Australia” and the second
episode of “The Crown”. The dogs slept through Lego, but both girls
seemed absolutely fascinated with “The Crown”. Who would have thought
that dogs would like Netflix drama? My back hurts… I wonder if the stool did me a
mischief when it collapsed? |
14 November
2022 (Monday) - Shaddap You Face
I
woke with some pain in my lower back; perhaps having that stool collapse
underneath me did some damage? I
made toast, sparked up the lap-top and peered into the Internet as I scoffed
it. I had an email from the mobile phone people. My contract is up. Do I want
to get a new phone with them, or continue at the same level of service for
twelve quid a month? I’ll stay with what I’ve got… Or will I? My phone gave
me its weekly report today (it started doing that last week) and
claimed that I averaged seven minutes screen time whilst driving every day
last week. Where is it getting that idea from? And
I had an email saying that the house building and contents insurance is set
to auto-renew with a twenty-two per cent price increase. I wish I knew how
the government calculates inflation… Clearly not the way I would do so. What
I would do (with my degree in maths) would be to look at how much
prices have gone up in the last year. I would take this year’s price and
divide it by last year’s price, subtract one from the result and then
multiply that number by one hundred. This gives you the percentage increase
over the year. Home insurance, the price of a kebab or a jar of jam…
doesn’t matter what it is, the sums remain the same. But the government
seems to do something *very* different to what I would do as they end
up with a much lower figure. Perhaps
they just make it up? I
got the leads onto the dogs and we walked up to the
train station where we met “Daddy’s Little Angel TM”, and “Darcie
Waa Waa TM”. We went for a walk
round the park. I’ve not been there for months; much of it has been dug up.
In many ways I was reminded of Kent’s roads. With three huge areas of park
fenced off from the public, only one had any work going on. And when I say “work
going on” what I actually mean was five blokes
sitting inside three different vans smoking whilst one bloke started into a hole
which had been dug. We
came home. “Daddy’s Little Angel TM” had some appointment
to go to, and I was to look after “Darcie Waa Waa
TM”. The pond distracted her for less than a minute, and Joe
Dolce singing “Shaddap You Face”
on You-Tube was good for twenty seconds at a time, but other than that she
screamed pretty much solidly for an hour and a half until “Daddy’s Little
Angel TM” came back, at which point she finally shaddap her face. We
then went for a spot of McLunch. I didn’t know you
could ask for extra pickles and extra sauce in the Big Macs. Who would have
thought such wonders were possible? And
with McLunch McScoffed we
went over t he road to Dobbies
to look at their fish and garden vacuums. They had a garden vacuum gizmo that
I quite liked the look of, but I must admit to liking the look of the same
thing on Amazon much better (as it was half the price). We
got fish, I ran the fish (together with “Daddy’s Little Angel TM”
and “Darcie Waa Waa TM”) back
to Folkestone, then came home. The dogs seemed rather excitable to I took
them for a little walk round the block. It was a shame Morgan had to pull
quite so much. So much that he actually snapped his
collar. I
sighed… I
spent another hour (or so) on the job application; this time drafting
the “blah-blah-blah about me” bit. A major obstacle to me getting the
job is that I seriously do see what I did this afternoon as being the “blah-blah-blah
about me” bit and not a “personal reflective statement”. “er
indoors TM” came home and boiled up sausages and chips and went off
bowling. I spent the evening watching drivel on the telly from underneath a
pile of dogs. Not
a bad day’s annual leave really… Oh
– and I got a full refund for that stool that snapped yesterday. I wonder if
I should sting them for compensation for the backache
I’ve had all day? |
|
15 November 2022 (Tuesday) - Eight Billion
I woke with backache this morning. I get that when I stay in my pit
for too long. I took the pups out, then had brekkie and peered into the
Internet where today it was filled with adverts from various organisations
wanting my money. The Labour party, the ramblers, the national forest,
companies selling fishing baits… everyone had their hand out this morning. With toast scoffed I saw the forecast rain hadn’t come, so I took the
dogs out. As we drove the pundits on the radio announced that the eight billionth person alive
would be born today. When I was born the world population was three point two
billion, and the five billionth was born in the year that “My Boy TM”
was born. It would seem that the current
population is about four times the
ideal number, and is continuing to grow. There were lots of predictions
about just how high the world population will go before levelling off, but no
one seemed to realise that this is an old idea in science-fiction but we are
already one billion past the most famous dystopian
idea. At the risk of looking after number one, is it wrong of me to hope
it doesn’t level off until my pension is paid for? As we came round the roundabout by the motorway I slammed on the
brakes as Terry flew by. I can only assume someone called Terry was driving;
why else would you have the memorable registration plate “T777RY D”?
Having cut me up in spectacular fashion, this chap then drove a couple of
feet behind the car in front of him for the five miles up to Challock, getting to the turn-off to the woods about five
seconds before we did. That dangerous driving sure saved Terry a lot of time,
didn’t it? We got to Kings Wood and set off on our walk. We took what has become
our usual route, but as we walked the sky darkened. At the one-mile point so
the rain started, and went from no rain at all to
torrential in a matter of seconds. All the time we were under the trees the
rain wasn’t too bad, but the last two miles of the our
usual route have precious little tree cover, so we cut our walk short.
Probably for the best; we were all soaked by the
time we got back to the car. We all had a hot shower when we got home, and those of us that wear
pants put on a dry pair. The dogs all curled up together on the sofa and I got on with the
ironing as I watched the first two episodes of the second season of “Stranger
Things”. I quite like the show in that it has believable characters and characters
to whom I can relate, but in two hours, absolutely nothing happened. And with ironing ironed I watched the Netflix production of “All
Quiet on the Western Front”. According
to Wikipedia the film “received positive reviews from critics for
faithfulness to the source material's anti-war message”. Bearing in mind
that the source material was a book
I’ve read many times, I can only imagine that these critics haven’t read
the actual source material. Despite having my school English teacher try to
kill the book stone dead, it was actually a rather
good book, with several interesting characters and a plot. The film on the
other hand just had a lot of blood and mud and gory wounds. I then finished the job application I’ve been working on for the last
few days. Job applications are such hard work, aren’t they? I remember my
first successful job application. I turned up at the Harbour Restaurant where
I asked the boss if he needed anyone to help about the place. He said he did
as it was a Bank Holiday, and I walked out nine hours later having done a
full day’s work. Things are a bit different these days. “er indoors TM” boiled up a very good curry which we scoffed
whilst watching the final of this year’s “Bake Off”. I won’t say who
won it, but I will say cauliflower cheese pies – who would have thought such
wonders were possible? |
|
16 November 2022
(Wednesday) - Still Raining
The
sound of the rain rattling against the window woke me. I’ve said before that
there is nothing more depressing than the sound of heavy rain. I
took the dogs into the garden. All three weren’t keen on the idea, and I
stood with them in the rain until they’d all done something. Some “did”
quicker than others. I
made toast and had my morning look at the Internet. Some chap was all over
the local Facebook pages offering an incredibly cheap TV package deal. For a
one-off payment of a hundred quid he will come to
your house and plug an Amazon Fire Stick into the back of your telly. You can
get the things for thirty quid and plug them into the back of your telly
yourself, but I suspect there are enough people out there who will pay this
bloke. I
also saw the same advert about buying a yacht (with its own fule (!) tank) half a dozen times, and I got
notifications about pretty much every Christmas fete and bazaar in Cornwall…
that’s only an eight-hour drive away. And two or three adverts for hairdressers
(like I need a hairdresser!). I know that Facebook is paid for by the
adverts, but those paying for the adverts aren’t getting their money’s worth,
are they? Seeing
a break in the rain I took the dogs round the block for half an hour. We
didn’t go far, and when I came home my foot was soaking wet; my old trainers
have clearly had it and sprung a leak. We got home just as the rain came
back, so as the dogs snored I wrapped Christmas
pressies then over a bit of lunch watched an episode of “Stranger Things”. In
the early afternoon I looked out the window at glorious sunshine and looked
at the sleeping dogs. I decided against waking them to take them to the
woods. I was right to have done that – in less than an hour was torrential
rain again. Instead
of going to the woods I spent a little while messaging with “Daddy’s
Little Angel TM” about fish tanks. Our one needs a new
lighting set-up, and for only a little more than the cost of that I can get a
whole new tank (with lighting) As
the rain carried on thundering against the window I
turned the telly on and watched some episodes of “Four in a Bed” in
which a town centre hotel was compared with a country club, a rural bed and
breakfast in the Lake District and a rather disappointing wannabe-hotel in
Blackpool. With the cheapest charging a third of the price of the most
expensive, how could any meaningful comparison be made? But (as is so
often the case in this show) the most vocal contestant had far and away
the grimmest establishment, and no one wanting to go back there. Having
said that, I would have been quite happy in it. I
watched a couple more episodes of “Stranger Things” until “er
indoors TM” came home. As we scoffed dinner
we had a seriously major result. Morgan was lurking by the back door, and
when I opened the back door he went out into the
pouring rain to have a “download”. It
is a sad indictment of my life that these days I seem to spend more time
fussing about dogs’ toilet arrangements than pretty much anything else… I’ve
had three days leave spent sheltering from the rain and watching telly… |
|
17 November 2022
(Thursday) - Gallium, Farting Water-Melons
As
I scoffed toast there was a rather petty squabble kicking off on one the
local Facebook pages. Someone was posting photos of the early days of one of
the local retail parks. The date 1986 was mentioned and everyone else was
claiming that either they too worked there in that year
or they walked their dogs across the place at that time as the retail park
wasn’t built until five years later. There
was a minor spat on one of the Lego-related pages where someone was trying to
sell something at a ridiculously high price. Having paid way over the going
rate for two of the things, the seller wanted to recoup her losses on one of
them. As she’d paid far too much it was only fair that someone else should do
the same(!) Why
is life always such an argument? I’ve been asking this for years and the
arguments show no sign of subsiding. Mind
you the woman who’d bought the Lego does show a sign of our times. Back in
the day if you bought something second-hand you got it cheap *because*
it was second hand. I’ve been looking at lighting for the fish tank (because
the current lighting has had it) and I can get a complete fish tank (bigger
than the current one) for not much more than the price of some of the
second-hand lighting fluorescent systems I saw advertised this morning. The
rain slackened off somewhat; enough to take the dogs out. Bearing in mind how
filthy the woods would be, we walked round the local roads via Munzee Tree Houses; if nothing else these geo-location games I play do
take us on a guided walk. But (as always) my idiot magnet was at full
power. We nearly got splatted by an idiot taxi driver who was pulling wheel spins
for no apparent reason. And we only escaped the pissed alcoholic who appeared
from seemingly nowhere and attempted to molest Bailey when she fell (quite
literally) arse over tit (the alcoholic, not
Bailey). It
was a relief to get home. I
watched an episode of “Stranger Things” then settled the dogs and went
round to the garden centre. The nice lady there sold me an LED light for the
fish tank, then I got some petrol, and made my way to Folkestone where “Daddy’s
Little Angel TM” was off for another driving lesson, and I was
to look after the lilttluns. “Stormageddon
– Bringer of Destruction TM” played the goat simulator game in
which he was playing an Italian Dinosaur goat which farted water-melons.
After he got bored (as if you could ever get bored of that!) we
watched several Lube-Tube (as he calls it!) videos about gallium. Gallium looks like
any other metal really, but it melts at thirty degrees Celsius so you can
make all sorts of things out of it, then melt it in your hand. It looks like
it would be rather good fun if it wasn’t so expensive. The stuff is over a quid per gram. After
an initial grizzle, “Darcie Waa Waa TM”
slept for over an hour and would have slept longer had Pogo not started
screaming for absolutely no reason whatsoever. After
an hour and a half “Daddy’s Little Angel TM”
returned. The driving lesson had gone well; she has now experienced the dizzy
heights of fourth gear. I
set off for home and eventually got there. The road works along the A2070 are
frankly ridiculous. So much of the county has been dug up; so little of it actually has anyone working in the dug-up bits. Once
home I planned to install the fish tank’s new LED light… The
box had quite obviously already been opened. With no obvious way of getting
electricity from the socket to the device I phoned the fish shop. After a
little to-ing and fro-ing it became clear that
someone in the shop had taken the plug out of the box. If I would like to go
back to the shop they will sort it all out for me… That
would be a job for Saturday… |
|
18 November 2022
(Friday) - Fiscal Policies
I
woke feeling full of energy and raring to go only to see that it was only
half past one, and then dozed fitfully, waking every twenty minutes or so. I
hate that; it happens too often. I
eventually gave up trying to sleep and got up. I took the puppies outside...
they are funny little things, but they aren't daft. Usually when we go outside they mess about and pootle and take their time.
But they know that once they've done their first tiddle of the morning they
are allowed upstairs on the bed with “er indoors TM” and
Treacle. Both had done what was expected of them within seconds, and were
soon jumping up and down at the door in excitement With
everyone else asleep I made toast and watched another episode of "Stranger
Things". The show has now reached the point where the plot is
obviously starting to flag, so the writers have introduced a whole new bunch
of characters. It perked things up a bit. Taking
care to let sleeping dogs (and “er indoors TM”) lie I set
off to work on a dry day. Having had four days off work when it did nothing
but rain, I went back to work just as the rain stopped. As
I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about yesterday's Autumn
Statement by the new Chancellor of the Exchequer. The details are in many
ways blah blah blah, but the practical upshot is that the country was in a
financial mess before Liz Truss became Prime Minister and through her
incompetence added
thirty billion quid to the debt. I can’t help but think that Liz Truss
and that other idiot Kwarteng should have all their asset seized and spend
the rest of their lives forced to live in abject poverty with pretty much
everything they had or will get being confiscated to repay the country. I
know that won’t even begin to come close to cover the debts they’ve caused,
but it would serve as an example to any other incompetents who might be
tempted to have a go. It
was claimed that the coming changes to the country’s tax system means that
those who work will be stung big-time and end up worse off, but that benefit
payments will keep up with inflation, so (just maybe) I might be
better off jacking it all in and retiring? There
was also an interview with the Shadow Chancellor of the
Exchequer on the matter who (in true Labour party style) just said
how crap the Tories were whilst not offering
anything tangible of her own. I
got to Pembury, I did my bit. At lunch time I had an
email from the probate people who had a question for me. Dad's will had
listed mum as the principle executor, so why was it
me contacting them and not her? I thought better than actually writing "because
she's dead, dur!"; instead I tactfully
pointed out the obvious failings of the government's "tell us once"
service. As
my brother (probably rightly) said, that one question will probably
add a couple of months to the process. Had we been doing probate through a
solicitor I suspect this question would have cost us quite a bit of money. I
wonder if the rain will come back for tomorrow? |
|
19 November 2022
(Saturday) - Phone Signal, Shopping, Dinner
As
I scoffed toast I watched another episode of “Stranger
Things” in which all of the new characters introduced in the previous
episode had totally disappeared. The old guys were back and acting rather
strange. Having deliberately turned off the power in the secret lab in which
they were hiding they then risked life and limb turning it back on again.
What was that all about? And whilst waiting for a phone call having phoned
for help they immediately destroyed the phone. All
very dramatic, but rather nonsensical. As
the on-screen incomprehensibility dragged what could have been done in five
minutes over three quarters of an hour so my phone beeped with a message. I
now have 5G. That’s nice. For those of my loyal readers who might be a tad
vague on the matter, 5G is one of two things. It is either a vastly upgraded
signal for my phone to transmit to and receive from the world. Or it is the means by which Satan is going to take control of the
mortal realm… depending on whether or not the view from your kitchen window
now features a 5G mast. Not that I’m sick of seeing the crackpot
posts all over social media. I
also had an email from the nice people at Credit Karma who were rather
concerned that my credit score has gone down. Bearing in mind absolutely
nothing in my world has changed financially recently, so was I. So I logged in and saw the score was exactly the same as
it has been for the last few weeks. What
was that all about? Leaving
“er indoors TM” and Treacle asleep I took the puppies to
the meet-up of Ashford
Dog Socialising Group, or “Dog Club” as I call it. There was a
minor episode, but we got away with it. Morgan peed (ever so slightly)
up the leg of one of the normal people. Said normal person didn’t notice, but
a passing bulldog did. The dog had a sniff, then on realising another dog had
tiddled, he added his bit (as dogs do). It was like a hose pipe had
been turned on… The normal person noticed that. We
had a good time though. It was only a shame that I had to bath the puppies
when we came home as both stank of fox poo. This does raise the point that
for all that “Dog Club” takes place in a secure field, if a fox can
get in… We
settled the dogs, then went on a little shopping trip. First of all to Dobbies to change the
fish tank light for one with a plug. Then on to Bybrook
Barn (as it will always be known even though it has been called “Longacres” for a few years now) for a few odds and
sods. From there we went to the bed shop… it wasn’t my idea. “er indoors TM”
wanted a new mattress. Our old one is getting on a bit. We got our old one eight
years ago when a dodgy-looking Geordie sidled up to me in the charity
shop in Brookfield Court and said “Psst –
wanna buy a mattress”. I must admit that I
wasn’t overly keen on the idea at the time, but it lasted eight years. We
had a look (and a go on) all sorts of mattresses today, eventually
getting one at half-price in a Black Friday deal. We got some pillows too as
they were only twelve quid reduced from forty. The
thing arrives in a few weeks’ time. It is a shame we have
to wait; dodgy Geordie delivered his one there and then. Once
home I installed the new light for the fish tank. It certainly looks far
better now than it did. I had some cake and a cuppa, a little snooze, and
then we went round to the abode of “My Boy TM”. Cheryl had
boiled up a particularly good bit of dinner in honour of Lacey’s birthday
tomorrow. I
scoffed far too much, and now have a belly ache… |
|
20 November 2022
(Sunday) - Sulking about the Late Shift
The
little bit on the task bar of my lap-top which gives
me the (massively inaccurate) weather forecast was flashing between
the weather forecast and (football) world cup coverage as I scoffed
toast this morning. I have no interest in the football whatsoever, but the
political scheming that goes with it is quite interesting, isn’t it? When
Qatar won the bid to host the world cup twelve years ago
they agreed that alcoholic drinks would be sold at the venues. And then with
one day to go they’ve changed their minds. *If* this was for religious
reasons (as has been claimed) why wait for twelve years until everyone
has paid their money and then make the announcement at the last possible moment?
It has also been mentioned that several sponsors are rather concerned that
they look to lose
out on the deal too. Quite a few gay people who’ve gone to the world cup
on the understanding that they will be tolerated (!) are now wondering
if they will be imprisoned too. After all, why should the England team be
told not wear armbands
in support of them? There
was an interview on the radio on Friday with the BBC’s sports correspondent
who claimed that there’s nowhere near enough hotels at the venue, and that
he’s actually staying in another country; for every
match he has to leave the hotel he’s in, get to the local airport, take an
hour’s fight and then an hour’s coach trip to get to the football matches
he’s supposed to be reporting on. And then go back to the hotel. Personally
I’d say “sod it” and go home, but doesn’t
this leave you wondering? The
officials in Qatar have had over ten years to sort things in readiness for
the football tournament and simply haven’t delivered. The whole thing looks
like one big balls-up. Is this because they couldn’t do what they promised,
or that they wouldn’t; preferring to force their ways onto the rest of the
world? There are those who say that if people travel to another country then they must accept the ways of that country. Personally I’m of the opinion that you don’t spend ten
years telling the world that you will accept their ways, then at the last
minute either change your mind or go with what you had planned all along (I
wonder which it was!). Quite
clearly no one is able to enforce what was
originally agreed. Doesn’t this make you wonder about the enforceability of
any (so-called) legally binding contract? Mind
you the Qatar authorities have got money, and clearly that is all that counts
these days (and had ever counted). With
the rain showing no sign of letting up I put laundry in to wash and had a
look at eBay to see what I might like for Christmas. You have
to laugh… people are openly selling sets of instructions for Lego
models for a tenner; you can download these for free. I
suppose some people will pay up either as they collect the original
instructions or (more likely) they didn’t read the description
properly. As
the torrential rain gave way to bright sunlight so I set off for work. I
grumbled about that (!) As I drove "Desert Island Discs"
was on the radio. Today's castaway was the sports promoter Barry Hearn who
was surprisingly incredibly interesting. At one point he mentioned about as a
poor child he started a car cleaning business going to the posh houses at the
top of the hill... and now he could afford to buy the entire hill as he's a
self-made multi-millionaire. If
you get the chance to listen
to the program, I'd thoroughly recommend it. With
a few minutes spare I went to Aylesford Aquatics to see it they had any fish
tank thermometers. Our existing one isn’t working. Has the colour-change thingy had it? – It must be several years old… I
never learn, do I? I go to that shop every few months, find the experience to
be an utter disaster, vow never to return, forget all about it, and then go
back for another really bad episode. I
remembered how bad the place was as I walked up and
all saw the staff (but one) standing outside listening to someone or
other. Whoever this someone was, he was regaling the tale of some fight that
he had had recently. Apparently the one he'd been fighting with had ended up
covered in blood. I'm not sure if the shop staff were listening out of
interest or out of terror of getting a slap if they didn't pay attention. I
went to the counter and waited. And waited. As I waited so the queue grew and
grew. After what seemed to be an age I told the
assembled queue that what I wanted could be bought far cheaper on-line (which
it can), and I walked out... straight past all the staff who were showing
no sign of coming back in to the shop to do their job. Some of them had even
got themselves a cuppa from somewhere. I
don't deny the staff need a break from time to time, but do they all have to
go at the same time? Did they *really* need to leave so many customers
waiting for quite so long? I
drove to work, and used the work's wi-fi to order a
set of three fish tank thermometers from Amazon for a third of the
price that Aylesford Aquatics wanted for just one. Amazon claim they will be
with me tomorrow... I expect I will be ranting about their non-appearance tomorrow, but having said that I got a notification that
the things have been dispatched half-way through the afternoon, so I may well
be wrong. Stranger things have happened. I
popped to the works canteen; cauliflower cheese and chips was rather good, and was the chocolate pudding (and custard)
that came after it. And then I spent a few hours doing my thing looking at
the beautiful day outside until it got dark, when I just stopped looking out
of the window, and just did what I had to until the night shift turned up... I
always say that I don't mind working night and weekend shift... until I have to actually do the shifts. |
|
21 November 2022
(Monday) - Before Another Late Shift
Seeing it wasn’t raining when I emerged from
my pit I took the dogs out right away. As we drove
to the woods the pundits on the radio were interviewing the head of the
British Football Association who was being incredibly tactful and diplomatic, but made no secret that the (football)
world cup hasn’t turned out to be quite that which had been expected. We got to the woods; the car park was nearly
empty; the threat of rain had clearly scared a lot of people off. As we
walked out of the car park we saw a woman with two Labradors, and a hundred
yards later we played for a couple of minutes with a Dalmatian. And that was
it for the normal people for today. We walked what is fast becoming our usual
four-mile route without seeing anyone else at all. The woods are so much
better during the week; most of the (very few) people we meet are
sensible dog-walkers. There’s none of the horse-riding brigade screaming at
everyone to get out of the way or the thugs with their muzzled death-hounds
trying to look impressive that can infest the place at the weekends…
well, not that much. I must admit that things did look a bit dodgy
at the furthest point from the car; the sky did turn an ominous shade of grey.
But we got back to the car (and drove home) before any rain came. We had a quick bath. Fortunately for my
nerves there was no fox poo, but small dogs do get grubby tummies. And once
home I was (quite frankly) amazed to see the fish tank thermometers
I’d ordered from Amazon yesterday lunch time had arrived. I was rather
impressed with that. I had a quick cuppa and had a look at the
Internet. It was still there, but I thought better of wasting too much time
in it today. Leaving “er indoors TM” and
the hounds in charge at home I set off in the general direction of work. I
got in the car, started it, and it immediately told me to change the battery
in the key. The battery in the key of my old
car once went flat on me; this car gives me prior warning. That was a result.
It was only a shame that the car left me to my own devices as to actually sorting a new battery and installing the thing. I went to Halfords and looked pathetic, and
the nice lady sorted me out, which was a result. From Halfords I went to the bank. I had a
cheque to pay in (the ongoing saga of Dad's estate)... because the
cheque was for more than five hundred pounds I
couldn't scan it in with the mobile app. The woman on the bank's phone line
said I had to hand it in over the counter in a bank. She was insistent - I
had to go to a real live person in a branch of the bank because of the sum of
money involved. I got to the bank and queued up. And waited.
And waited. Eventually I got to the head of the queue where some rather
harassed-looking woman (in a bank uniform) told me I could use the
paying in machine to pay the cheque in to my account. I explained that
I had been told I had to hand it to someone in the bank personally, and I *couldn't*
use a machine. The woman (in the bank uniform) said I didn't,
and she paid it in for me, using the paying in machine whilst I stood and
watched. I took the opportunity to tell her that the bank was far better when
it was a proper bank with a counter rather than a load of machines and three
staff looking like they are about to cry. The woman (in a bank uniform)
agreed with me; she said she hears that a lot. As I came out of the bank
I noticed the bakery. Rather than getting myself a sandwich for lunch I had a
brainwave and I got a broccoli and cheese quiche and
a lump of bread pudding. I then drove up to Lenham
to return the leaf blower (sucker) I borrowed a couple of weeks ago.
Having established that it did the trick, I needed it out of the shed to make
room for one of my own. I delivered it back to Joe, and we had a
little chat whilst I fussed his dog. And then on to work. It was at this point
that the heavens really opened. I got to the car park and scoffed lunch
whilst waiting for the rain to subside. Here's a tip - if you want a seriously
impressive gets ache that will last all afternoon, I'd thoroughly recommend a
broccoli and cheese quiche followed by a lump of bread pudding. |
|
22 November 2022
(Tuesday) - Before the Night Shift
I
was rather knackered by the time I got to bed last night. The main problem
with the late shifts is (like everyone else) I’ve done loads in the
morning before the shift and am worn out before I start. By the time I’d
found somewhere to park I didn’t get home till ten o’clock last night. I
slept like a log last night despite a rather vivid dream in which National
Service had been re-introduced and I’d been drafted into the Sea Scouts. I
made toast which I scoffed as I peered into the internet. There was a photo
of the two women out of Abba on one of the random Facebook pages I follow,
and you wouldn’t believe the nasty squabbles kicking off about whether or not they were recognisable. As
I rolled my eyes so “er indoors TM” announced that Morgan
had asked to go outside and had “done one” in the garden. That was
something of a result; as we commented on how his toilet training was
improving and what a good dog he was, so Morgan quietly ate the doormat. I
put some washing on to scrub, and whilst it scrubbed
I took the dogs out. As we drove we nearly ran over
a child. Said child was zooming down the wrong side of the road on an
electric scooter looking back over her shoulder, with those white earbud
things bunging up her ears. If I’d splatted the child, the newspapers would
have said it had been my fault. Back in the day the local copper would have
had a word… when did you last see a copper? We
got to Kings Wood and walked round our usual route. We saw a few other dogs
and said “hello”. All passed off fine, as it (usually) does
mid-week. Just as we were about a couple of hundred yards from the car park so a herd of deer leapt out of the thicket and ran
across the clearing. They were quite spectacular; a shame they were too fast
for me to photograph. Treacle stood with me and watched; Bailey and Morgan
set off in hot pursuit, but came back to the
whistle. We
went up to the car, did “boot dogs” (Bailey has
to be lifted in), I tooted on the whistle and gave them all a
treat (as I do) and we came home to disaster. The front door was locked and I couldn’t find my keys. I had them twenty
minutes previously as the whistle is on my key ring. I checked all my pockets
(so many times), but no joy. Had I dropped my keys as I’d got into the
car at the woods? I
drove back to the woods and searched the ground of the car park. No keys. I
put my hand in my pocket for what must have been the twentieth time… and
there were my keys. They’d been in my pocket all along. Oh,
how I laughed (!) We
came home again; the key debacle had only wasted three quarters of an hour.
Once home the dogs very quickly settled, and my phone beeped. I had a
Facebook friend request from “Godess Rose”
who seemed to be a cross-eyed bloke wearing a frankly humungous pair of fake
tits. I sent him/her/it a message asking why he/she/it was asking to be my
friend, and also what he/she/it was supposed to be. I
pootled about with more of the paperwork on Dad’s estate, then went to bed
for the afternoon where I struggled to sleep. Despite having a hot water
bottle I couldn’t keep warm. Perhaps I should have hoiked
Treacle off of it? I’m
hoping “er indoors TM” will sort me some dinner, then I’m
off to the night shift. I’ve got to go via Sainsbury’s – we are out of
washing jollop for the washing machine… I say “we are out of washing
jollop for the washing machine”; I am reliably informed that *I*
am out of washing jollop for the washing machine… |
|
23 November 2022
(Wednesday) - After the Night Shift
As
night shifts go, last night’s wasn’t one of the
better ones. I wouldn’t say that I was busy, more than that I didn’t stop.
All night long. Hospitals are always on the go. As
I got on with it last night I found myself thinking
about what I’d seen when I went shopping before the shift. As I’d pootled
round Sainsbury’s there was a woman in full Tesco uniform pushing a trolley
in which was one of those cubical Deliveroo bags. She had a shopping list on
her phone and was quite openly filling the Deliveroo bag with stuff on that
order… What was that all about? Surely she would
have been better going to Tesco if only to save time (because she clearly
works there) and because (presumably) she’d have got a staff
discount? With
work done (and no staff discount!) I came home through torrential rain
listening to the radio… or trying to listen to the radio. Some years ago I realised just how ignorant I was of current affairs
and so I now make a point of listening to the morning news as I go to and
from work. Sometimes it is interesting, sometimes it is frustrating. Today it
was just tedious. This morning the Shadow Minister for something-or-other was
being interviewed, and I can only describe the chap interviewing her as “being
a dildo” (a crime for which “Daddy’s Little Angel TM” once
grassed me up to “er indoors TM”). No matter what she said,
the interviewer had to challenge it; changing his
own position completely several times each minute. If this woman had claimed
that water was wet, the interviewer would have asked her why she thought that
was so. I
gave up and sang along to “Ivor Biggun”
songs as I drove through the rain. I
came home to consternation. There was a turd on the
living room carpet and not having seen the deed being done, “er indoors TM”
didn’t know on whom she should unleash an arse-kicking. Through a logical
process of elimination, I determined the culprit. I knew it wasn’t me, I
don’t think it was “er indoors TM” (as the turd was too small for her),Treacle goes outside, and
if he’s going to do it inside, Morgan goes on the laminate flooring in the
back bedroom. That only leaves one suspect… With
turd gathered I had a shave and went to bed from
where I listened to Treacle barking at pretty much everything she could.
Later in the day when I was out of my pit she was
absolutely sparko, but she was the embodiment of
vigilance as I tried to sleep. I
gave up with bed after a couple of hours, and seeing
the rain had let up I walked the dogs round the block. I thought about going to
the woods, but I don’t like driving after a night shift and although the
paths are quite decent, the areas off the paths where the dogs run can be
rather wet and grubby. As
we walked up the road there was a landscape gardener having an argument with
a traffic warden. The traffic warden didn’t like the fact that the landscape
gardener had parked his van straddling the kerb whilst the chap emptied a lad
of garden waste from a garden into the van. The traffic warden clearly has no
issue with the delivery vans that regularly park in exactly
the same place, or the customers of the local shop who also regularly
park in exactly the same place. I suggested to the traffic warden that he
might like to walk fifty yards down the road and do something about the cars on
double yellow lines belonging to people having haircuts in the hairdressers,
but the traffic warden wasn’t interested. They
rarely are. I
spent the afternoon doing the ironing whilst watching episodes of “Four in
a Bed”. In today’s shows there was one chap who was *incredibly*
critical of everyone else’s cooked breakfasts, but when it was his turn to
host, not only did he not offer a cooked breakfast, he just
put out croissants and fruit the night before, and left them to go stale
overnight whist he then had a lie-in… and then had the gall to take offence
when others told him how crap his service was. I
love that show… “er
indoors TM” boiled up a rather good bit of dinner which we
washed down with a bottle of plonk. Here’s
a tip… if you are going to get someone a bottle of wine for Christmas (because
you don’t know what else to get them), get them something from the
Sainsbury’s “House” range. It will set you back less than a fiver, and
it is good stuff… And
if any of my loyal readers want to get me a pressie… |
|
24 November 2022
(Thursday) - Bit Dull
What
with having done a night shift and then shifted a decent helping of red wine
yesterday evening I slept like a log last night; only waking when “er
indoors TM” and Treacle had some sort of a fight (which
Treacle won) shortly after half past six this morning. I
got up, saw to the puppies, and left them bothering “er indoors TM”
as I made toast and watched telly. Today I started on the third season of
"Stranger Things". The first two seasons both featured mad
scientists having unleashed untold terrors after meddling with two different
sorts of things that they should have left well alone. It came as no surprise
that the third season started with more mad scientists meddling with a third
sort of thing which would also have been best left well alone. I
set off for work. As I drove, I listened to the pundits on the radio who were
rather excited. Apparently historians have
discovered a whole
new Roman Emperor. It would seem that historians
of old had been very quiet about Sponsian,
and not much is really known about him, other than that his face appears on
quite a few Roman coins that have hitherto been thought to have been fakes. There’s
a moral in there somewhere, I expect… There
was also talk about "Upstairs Downstairs" star Meg Wynne Owen
who apparently had died over the summer. It turns out that she had granted
power of attorney to some friend eight years ago, and said friend had milked
her for pretty much all
she was worth. There’s
a moral in there too… I
got to work where there was cake. As I scoffed it at tea break
I had a look at the Internet and saw that “Goddess Rose” (the
epically-chested cross eye’s object that had messaged me a few days ago)
had gone from Facebook, which was probably a result for the morally upright
community. With
work worked I came home and as “er indoors TM” boiled up
dinner I had a look at the monthly accounts. The gas and leccie
company have made a payment of sixty-six quid into my bank account. I would
say that was kind of them, but it turns out this is a bung
from the government which comes in six instalments. To
be honest, I don’t much care who it is coming from… I’ll just take it anyway.
But I would prefer cake… Sixty-six quid’s worth,,, Today
was a tad dull… |
|
25 November 2022
(Friday) - Dogs And Stuff
Usually
having done a night shift means I sleep rather well for the next few nights,
but despite Tuesday night's efforts I was wide awake at half past two this
morning and lay awake for the rest of the night. On hearing “er indoors TM”
get up for the loo just before five o'clock I thought I might as well get up and
let the puppies out, and she could then take them back upstairs with her
whilst I had brekkie. I
thought this was a good plan… Admittedly
things did smell a bit whiffy when I opened their crate
but Morgan had been farting a lot last night so I thought no more about it. I
chivvied them (and Treacle) into the garden and came back in (ten
minutes later) to find “er indoors TM” disassembling
their bedding as someone (presumably Morgan) had had a little "potty
accident". In a spirit of either helpfulness or of being a foul
creature Bailey then tried to eat it. There is a school of thought which goes
along the lines of having her eat it gets rid of it… however this theory
overlooks the sad fact that she then sicks it all up a couple of hours later.
I
mention this just so’s my loyal readers get a rounded view of dog-herding in
it’s entirely rather than having a rose-tinted view of some impossibly ideal
perfect dog. Dogs are truly disgusting creatures... The
clean-up only took twenty minutes (!), and with “er indoors TM”
and the dogs gone back to bed (and the washing machine going full-pelt at dog bedding) I made brekkie and turned on
the telly to watch an episode of "Stranger Things". The good
thing about this show is that for all that the "stranger things"
are rather strange, the writers have created and developed believable
characters... it was such a shame that in this morning's episode pretty much
all of them were acting utterly unlike their established ways purely to move
the plot along. I
set off to work, and had to chuckle. You could tell
it was dustbin day from the dustmen bellowing up the street (at half past
six in the morning) and from the amount of rubbish festooned all over the
street. The dustbin lorry had been parked on the roadside, and as I walked
out of the front door so a car was coming down the
road. The dustbin lorry then deliberately pulled out to block that car. It
couldn't have been moving forward to ease bin collection as it only went
about five yards down the road then stopped between cars parked on either
side. It really did move purely to obstruct the traffic. As
I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about the upcoming strike
called by the Royal College of Nursing. Apparently massive efforts are
being made to ensure the strike will cause no disruption to the running of
any hospital... so what it the point of the strike? Mind you, this is a
hospital thing. I can remember strikes at the (now demolished) Royal
East Sussex Hospital where strikers ensured that their shifts were covered
before they went on strike. And
there was also talk about the ongoing war in
Ukraine. The Ukrainian First Lady is claiming the people are
preparing themselves for years of ongoing war... provided the western world
pays for it. I
got to work and deployed a Tree House (as one does), then got on with
the early shift. Work was rather good. No cake today, but we had posh biccies. An
early start meant for an early finish. But even at early finish time it is
still dark at this time of year, so with a few minutes spare I thought I
might get petrol… Oh
dear. There
was quite a queue at the petrol station. Some impatient idiot
couldn’t wait and squeezed his car through the queued cars with only an inch
on each side, only to get to the pump to find the nice petrol station lady
had just hung an “out of order” sign on it. This idiot then leapt from
his car to remonstrate with the nice lady… Today’s
new word is “remonstrate” – it means to
scream, shout and generally carry on in such a way to leave no doubt in the
mind of any onlookers that they are dealing with a half-wit. Anyway,
as this idiot remonstrated it became clear to everyone that not only had he
forgotten to apply his car’s handbrake, but he’d also not left it in gear. It
took him a surprisingly long time to realise his car was rolling away. It was
so hard for me not to point and laugh out loud. I
got home… Morgan seems a whole lot better… |
26 November 2022
(Saturday) - Rather Busy
One
of the first things that appeared in my Facebook feed this morning was a
suggestion that I might like to follow some councillor or other. Bearing in
mind I’d never heard of the chap I wondered why Facebook thought I might be
interested in him… it turned out he was the councillor for the area a mile up
the road, and I’d never heard of him. This got me wondering about who was my local councillor… I found out who she was.
She doesn’t have a presence on social media, but was
apparently the local mayor a few years ago. I can vaguely remember writing to
her to complain about something or other, and her reply was along the lines
that she had no power to do anything at all about anything at all and that I
should take my bellyaching to the county council. I
found my county councillor; he seems quite active on
social media. And
then I wondered why I’d spent twenty minutes looking up councillors about
whom I have no interest whatsoever. “er
indoors TM” and Treacle both came to Dog Club with me and the
puppies this morning. The session we go to is for puppies, small dogs and timid dogs, so we thought Treacle might get some
benefit from it. It has to be said she’s not good
with other dogs in that she’s generally terrified of them. She snapped at one
or two that came too close, but everyone there was understanding, and she allowed
several dogs to come up and say hello. Morgan had a whale of a time; charging round in the thick of all the chaos. It was
a shame that Bailey sneaked off a couple of times, once to eat a rather large
lump of poo, and once to eat a dead bird. But as I said yesterday, dogs are
foul creatures. We
came home, washed the fox poo off of Morgan, settled
the dogs (who were soon fast asleep after their adventure) and set off
to Folkestone. Steve wasn’t on the radio this morning; his replacement (sadly)
wasn’t very good. We
went to see Jose and Maria. We don’t see anywhere near enough of them these
days. Maria had cooked up a very good bit of brekkie, and with it scoffed we
sat and put the world to rights before getting Jose’s Alexa to do a variety
of farting noises. Jose had a spare Alexa (which came with his doorbell).
Did we want it? Yes please !!! From
there we went (via the KFC’s take away department) to visit “Daddy’s
Little Angel TM”, “Stormageddon – Bringer of Destruction TM”
and “Darcie Waa Waa TM”. The
most recent fruit of my loin was poorly (so she claimed), and once
we’d scoffed KFC we played “Worms” on the Play Station. Or (to be
honest) “Daddy’s Little Angel TM” and “Stormageddon
– Bringer of Destruction TM” played “Worms” on the Play
Station. I took turns in randomly struggling with the handset until one of my
worms blew itself up, then passed the handset on. I
then dozed off, only to be woken by a very worried “Daddy’s Little Angel TM”
who was under the impression that if I went to sleep without my CPAP machine
it might be fatal for me. She didn’t realise the thing keeps me asleep, it
doesn’t keep me alive. We
came home, plugged in the new Alexa, and whilst she updated herself we went up to Ashford where the “Festival of
the Baubles” was taking place. You can see some photos of the event by
clicking here. It was… How can I best describe it? One of the little old
ladies in the crowd told her mate that this year’s parade was far better than
last year’s. I can only imagine last year’s was something of a
disappointment. For example you could tell from
which school the various groups came by seeing a bored teacher holding the
name of the school typed on a sheet of A4 paper nailed to a bit of wood. How
long would it have taken to make a decent poster? And I didn’t see any scout
groups along – weren’t they invited? Back in the day this would have been the
sort of thing the 6th Ashford would have lapped up. Even
allowing for a trip to Aldi on the way home we were back home only an hour
after we went up to see the procession. Once
home we saw that Alexa had updated herself, so (to “er indoors TM”’s
disgust) to check she was working I got her to do twenty-one fart sounds
and then play “My Grandfather’s Frock” by Ivor Biggun.
Happy that the important things were functional I shall sort out dull things
like weather forecasts and news bulletins tomorrow.. |
|
27 November 2022
(Sunday) - Wet Sunday
I
slept like a log last night, but wasn’t too pleased to
see the rain as I took the puppies outside this morning. Admittedly the rain
had been forecast, but I had hoped this would be yet another of their wildly
inaccurate predictions. Sadly it wasn’t. I
took wet puppies upstairs to bother “er indoors TM”; they
love going to see her in the morning but won’t go past the landing without me
as they are scared of Treacle who is always very
grumpy at them in the morning. Having left Treacle snoring on my side of the
bed when I’d got up, Treacle had deliberately moved to guard the door. The
puppies love her so much, and she is hateful to them. As
the washing machine did its thing I made toast and
scoffed it as I waited for my lap-top to boot up. The poor thing is
struggling to get going these days. Eventually it got going. There was
concern in the Munzing world today… Every month
there are “Clan Wars” in which various prizes are awarded to teams who
scan certain amounts of bar codes stuck to lamp posts. There are levels of
prizes, the lower the level, the easier it is to achieve. We go for level
four. Level three is a tad too easy, but level four can be a bit of a
stretch. It would seem that some who’ve gone for the
dizzy heights of levels five and six are finding that what was supposed to be
fun was fast becoming a chore. I
then spent three hours preparing a presentation for next week. I’ve applied
for the position of Training Lead and have got an interview in eight days’
time. As part of that interview I’ve got to give a
ten minute presentation entitled "Personal development plans, to meet
current and future service requirements". Creating
the first draft of a PowerPoint presentation that will play for ten minutes
took me all morning, and it’s still not quite right. I
took the dogs round the block for a walk; we didn’t get *that* wet.
And with the dogs thinking that they had had an outing I went round to the
scout hut with “er indoors TM” for the scout group AGM. She
had to go; she’s the group secretary. I didn’t have to go, but I had nothing
else on the agenda. The
old place brought back some memories, as did listening to the reports
presented to the AGM. Scouting amazes me; so much is
achieved for the children by so few people. Half a dozen leaders effectively
give up their lives for the place, and (for the most part) their
efforts are totally unrecognised. It turns out that the group scout chairman
is throwing in the sponge and they need a new one.
Is that something I could do? Possibly? Of all the activities and clubs and
hobbies I’ve done over the years, Scouting never descended into being one big
argument… We
came home and I spent a few minutes assembling my new leaf sucker/blower.
Seeing how it was far too soggy outside to test it, I had a go in the living
room. The “suck” settling sucked up some of the carnage the dogs had
strewn over the living room floor, and the “blow” setting rather wound
the dogs up. I
then had this (frankly genius) idea that Alexa might help in
calming them down; sadly “Calming Music for Dogs” was an abject
failure, but I did get Alexa to swear. Sort of… She only knows one swear
word; “knickers!”. After
a few minutes spent frantically tidying up, “My Boy TM” and
Cheryl came to visit. It was good to catch up. Cheryl is particularly envious
of our Alexa; it has got a screen (which hers hasn’t), and to add
insult to injury she had been planning to get us an Alexa for Christmas. Once
they’d got home we then did an “Alexa call”
at them to prove the thing works. “er
indoors TM” boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed
whilst watching an episode of “MacDonald & Dobbs”.
I don’t usually like police-based TV shows, but this one is rather good… |
|
28 November 2022 (Monday)
- Rostered Day Off
I
woke at two o’clock last night with a pain in my neck, and
spent much of the rest of the night trying to get comfortable, but it wasn’t
happening. I
gave up and came downstairs to find a mutiny in progress; the puppies were
refusing point-blank to go outside for “er indoors TM”. I
told them “come on” and they followed me outside right away. What was
that all about? I
made toast and had a look at the Internet. It was back to its old ways… Radio
Four, geocaching apps, pugs, Sparks and Star Trek… No matter what the
subject, everything was one big argument today. “er
indoors TM” sorted dog breakfast, and we both watched Treacle
ignoring hers. She seemed to be all right in herself` but did look a little
bloated. She’s been looking like that for a couple of days now. Once the
puppies had eaten theirs, she then ate hers whilst they watched. I
then sat about waiting. Regular readers of this drivel may recall that on 30th
August I had to swerve my car into a hedge to avoid a head-on collision.
A local garage assured me that they could have fixed it within an hour, but
it wouldn’t have been cheap, so I went through the insurance people. Three
months later they eventually got round to sorting it. I’d been told that they
would collect the car today and drop off the courtesy car too… at some point
during the day. Apparently they were utterly unable
to give me any indication of when; the best they could do would be for the
nice man to give me a ring when he was half an hour away, so I had to give up
an entire day to sit round waiting for them. It took some doing, but I
managed to swap shifts about, and then ironically the nice man turned up at
five past nine (with no phone call)… so I could have done the late
shift after all. There had been no need for me to give up an entire day. The
courtesy car they’ve left me with seems to be the economy version of the one
that’s gone for repair. The controls are fairly similar to
my car, but it only has five gears. Mind you it does have scratches on the
passenger side front bumper, below the passenger side headlight and on the
boot door frame. I emailed the company about that, and they emailed back to
say that they knew, and told me about seven other dings on it. That was
honest of them. One
of the rules with the courtesy car is that dogs aren’t allowed in it… that
was something of a pain in the glass. Mind you my car was set up so that the
dogs would be contained in the boot; I couldn’t guarantee their
not escaping from the boot of the courtesy car. So
with the woods being out today, we went on a half-hour wander round the local
roads. The wander went well, even if we did terrify several passers-by. What
is it with the Nepalese community and dogs? We walked past quite a few
Nepalese people today; they were all very polite and civil (as they always
are), but all of then reacted as though I was
taking three tigers for a walk rather than three small dogs. With
walk walked I popped up to the corner shop to get croissants or “pain o chocolate” or something for me and “er indoors TM”
(who was working from home today), but the shop had sold out.
Sometimes they’ve got loads left at mid-day, other times they’ve sold out at
ten o’clock. I
then spent anther couple of hours working on the
Personal Development Plans presentation for a couple of hours until the nice
boiler man arrived. Having had a cancellation the
nice lady at the plumbers (who in years gone by was one of my trainees!)
arranged for us to get our boiler serviced this afternoon… or (to be
precise) she arranged for the boiler engineer to call. Sadly
when the new kitchen was fitted earlier in the year the boiler was quite
comprehensively boxed in and the engineer couldn’t get to the boiler. There’s
now a delay whilst we see if and when the kitchen
fitter can come back… No
day off work is complete without ironing; I ironed for a couple of hours
whilst watching episodes of “Four In A Bed” in which one of the
contestants was banging on constantly about what a big businessman he was…
and his bed & breakfast establishment was quite literally falling to
pieces. Like so many people he knew all the theory and none of the practice. “er
indoors TM” went off bowling, and I settled down with the dogs and
watched two episodes of “Stranger Things”… My
neck still aches… |
|
29 November
2022 (Tuesday) - Lego Club
Tiddling
the dogs goes one of three ways. They can flatly refuse to go out. They can
go out (under protest) and mess about playing silly beggars for quite
some time. Or they go out like bullets from a gun, do what is required, and
zoom back in as fast as they possibly can. In the early mornings they usually
take the third option because they know that once they've "done",
they can go upstairs to the big bed with “er indoors TM”. With
them sorted I made toast and watched another episode of "Stranger
Things" which was rather good, and now we're into the third season
it actually features some things that really are
stranger than most other things. As
I watched so “er indoors TM” came downstairs to the loo...
complete with her entourage. Whenever I get up to go anywhere the dogs might
roll over into the warm spot that I might have left, but that would be all
the response that my absence would warrant. Whenever “er indoors TM”
gets up to go anywhere all three dogs leap up and follow her every
move. I
set off for work listening to the news as I do. I rolled my eyes as it was
announced that billions of pounds need to be spent
on flood defences across the country as officialdom has finally realised
the folly of letting developers build wherever they like. Didn’t they realise
that developers like to build on land that regularly floods because it is
cheap? As an example of this, look at the Park Farm development in Ashford.
Thousands of houses built on land which thirty years ago wouldn't used by local sheep farmers between October and April as
it flooded too much and was a swamp every winter. There
was also more talk from the First Lady of Ukraine who was hoping that the people
of Britain wouldn't forget about the plight of the Ukrainians... and then
asked for more millions of pounds to spend on fighting the Russians. And
I found myself wondering about the Chinese
government cracking down on dissident voices and outlawing certain brands
of social media. For all that I rip into the government, I should really be
grateful that they allow me to do so... Not that I expect they even
realise I'm sitting here throwing rocks at them. As
I drove up the motorway I investigated the various
functions of the courtesy car I've got. Some might say that I randomly
pressed all the buttons to see what happened, but I prefer to say "investigated
the various functions" as that sounds like I had some idea of what I
was doing. Once
I'd got the mirrors pointing in the right directions (that took some doing),
I discovered the cruise control, and spent a while playing with that. As
I fiddled I was very conscious to remember I wasn't
in my car and made a point of not trying to use sixth gear for the simple
reason that this car hasn't got a sixth gear. Reverse is where sixth gear
should be. If I was to use that half way up the
motorway the engine would just leap out of the bonnet in a rather spectacular
fashion. I
wonder if that would be covered by the insurance? I
did my bit at work, and (once I'd checked the travel map on Google)
rather than heading home I went to Hythe where the Lego club was
having its inaugural meeting. Would it be any good? Would it be a load of
rubbish? I must admit I went along hoping for great things but expecting the
worst. Mind you I had my reservations about Dog Club, and (so far)
that has turned out quite good. And (if nothing else) it would be an
opportunity to catch up with Jose who had told me that he would be along. My
reservations were totally unfounded. The turn-out wasn’t huge, but those of
us that were there had a great meeting. After a little chatting we pulled up
some tables and just built Lego models. I’d taken some maxifigures
along to show (as those are what I collect) so I made a cat, dog, parrot and some other strange animal to go with them. As
we all built we all carried on chatting. We all seem
to be of one mind; the hobby is supposed to be fun. And with that in mind I
think we might just be on to a winner here… I
took one
or two photos… I
don’t think the first fruit of my loin approves… |
|
30 November 2022
(Wednesday) - This n That
I
woke to the sound of Treacle jumping off of the bed
with a loud crash. Thinking she wanted to go outside to "do her
business" I leapt up to let her out only to be reminded what a
clever dog she is. The very second that I got up she leapt back onto the bed
and curled up in the warm spot I'd just vacated. I
contented myself with taking the puppies outside. There's always some "business"
to be "done" in the mornings in my world if you look for it. I
had brekkie, watched a bit of telly, then set off to work. As I drove through
thick fog so the pundits on the radio were telling the world that the fog
today was restricted to the far west of Cornwall(i) They
were also talking about last night's England-Wales football match. A *lot*
of air-time was devoted to this match, and it left
me thinking. That match took place yesterday evening when I'd been at Lego
club, and together with a small group of like-minded people I'd had a fun
time. Listening to the radio this morning it was clear that for millions of
people last night's football match was anything but fun. The Welsh supporters
interviewed were bitterly disappointed to have lost, even though they had
expected it. And the English supporters interviewed were far from magnanimous
in victory (seeing the Welsh as just someone else to stomp underfoot)
, but openly expecting bitter upset in the next few weeks when the England
team gets knocked out of the world cup. I've
said it before; I wish I understood the attraction of football... I
took the courtesy car to the petrol station; filling it with petrol was far
easier than I had expected it to be. Many years ago
I once spent twenty minutes standing at the petrol pump trying to find where
the petrol went in to my grandfather's car. The chap from the garage
eventually came out and he couldn't find the filler cap either. Eventually we
found it behind the rear number plate (which folded down!) Ever since
then I've expected no end of arse-ache every time I take a new (to me)
car to a petrol pump. And
then having filled it with petrol I couldn't help but wonder if diesel might
have been a better idea. How do you know which to put in? Mind you the thing
is still making the same noises it was before I put the petrol in, so here's
hoping. I
got to the works car park and spent five minutes trying to turn the car’s
lights off. For some reason they wanted to stay on. I expect while randomly
pressing all the buttons (like I have been doing) I've randomly
pressed the wrong one. As
I did my bit at work so my phone rang. It was the people who are supposed to
be sorting my car. They’ve taken two days to tell me what the chap who picked
up the car on Monday said, and they estimate it will be fixed two weeks this
Friday. I
sighed… On
September 1st the local garage had a look at my car and sent me a
quote. They could have taken the car in on the following Monday and had it
done that morning for a thousand quid. I wonder how much the insurance people
are being stung for. Work
was much the same as ever, but even being on an early shift it was still dark
when I got home. I
took the dogs round the block and risked life and limb. The pavements are
extremely slippery with fallen leaves, and the utterly inadequate street
lighting means that you can’t see where the fallen leave are. I sent an email
of complaint to the local councillor. Mind you I’ve complained about the
inadequate lighting to her before and had a rather disinterested reply. I suppose
the more argumentative fat sods that pogger
themselves in the dark, the less stick she gets in her in-box. She actually replied in less than an hour. She didn’t actually say “f… off fatso” but she might as well
have done. We
drove round to see “My Boy TM” and deliver his Advent
Calendar. Every year “er indoors TM” wraps up twenty-four
tins of beer for him. I
get to open the first window on my
Advent Calendar tomorrow… |
