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1 May 2022 (Sunday) -
Out With The Old
I would have thought that a night shift and a
bottle of hock would have meant for a good night’s sleep last night. Sadly they didn’t. I woke just after three o’clock and lay
awake for hours, finally nodding off just before the alarm told me “get
your arse out of its pit” (it quite literally says that!) I got my arse out of
its pit, came downstairs and spent an entertaining five minutes following the
puppies round the garden with a trowel. You need the trowel to gather turds right away before Bailey eats them. It is a shame
that unlike Pogo who does one epic dump, the puppies do *lots* of really little poops which they scatter all over the place.
I mention this is case any of my loyal
readers are considering following in my footsteps and getting a puppy; I
don’t want to mislead anyone into thinking it is all lovey-dovey and one big
happy adventure. Morgan and Bailey ate the bathroom rug whilst
I had a shave. Being the first of the month I got out a new razor blade and
sliced myself quite impressively with it. It was at this point that “er indoors TM”
got her arse out of its pit and at which I immediately resumed my role as “second
favourite human”; none of the dogs make any secret about who is their
favourite. I made some toast (whilst I still could),
scoffed it then set off Folkestone-wards. Pausing only briefly (for geocachical reasons) in Sellinge
I collected “Daddy’s Little Angel TM”, Big Jake and Darcie WaaWaa and fetched them all home. “My Boy TM” and Cheryl were
waiting for us with “er indoors TM”. The idea was for all
of us to spend the weekend stripping out the new kitchen in readiness for the
new one’s arrival later in the week. But with a little judicious hammer-work
and power-screwdrivering we had the job all done in
just over two hours. Mind you when I say “we had the job all done in just
over two hours” I think it fair to say that all I did was carry wreckage
outside. After a few minutes were spent tidying up I
popped up to the KFC to get us all lunch which we scoffed on the garden table
for the simple reason that there was nowhere else to scoff it; everywhere
else was loaded up with clutter from the kitchen. The plan had been to spend the afternoon
continuing to disassemble the kitchen but having finished far earlier than
anticipated we collected Ro-Ro and all went for a
little walk round the Warren. I don’t go there for a walk very often as there
are quite a few hills there, but it isn’t a bad place to go. We had a good walk; it was good having the
family wolf-pack back up to full strength. But I did puff a little going up
and down the hills. It was rather good getting the tribe together
today. We really should do it more often… And now we’ve got a rather trying week or so
coming up. The living room is packed to overflowing with that which has come
out of the kitchen. The kitchen has a cooker and sink. The microwave is
perched on top of the fridge, and the only work surface is the top of the
washing machine. The sooner the new kitchen gets installed the better… I’m expecting the worst, but hoping for the
best… |
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2 May 2022 (Monday) -
Bank Holiday? Working !
I woke with something of a backache, so got
up and quietly crept to the bathroom so as not to disturb the puppies, even
though they would seem to sleep though anything. Once shaved (without
lacerating myself) I then chivvied the puppies outside to do that which puppies do. They are getting better at "doing"
outside; we still have the little accident, but then that's a puppy thing,
and chivvying them outside reduces the accidents. We came in where they both asked to be picked
up, and I popped them onto the sofa next to me where they had a brief scrap,
then settled and slept. I watched more "Orange is the New Black"
in which absolutely no-one "flopped them out"; something of
a first for that show. And then I set off to work. We had been asked
for our Bank Holiday working preferences quite early in the year; I must have
volunteered to have been working today... but having done Friday night I
wonder if I did volunteer for today or just got given the shift? What with
sleeping most of Saturday my Bank Holiday has been one day (yesterday),
and much of that was stripping out the kitchen. I didn't want to work today;
I would rather have had today off. I might have gone to Jack in the Green in
Hastings. I might have gone for a rather good dog walk. I might have sat in
the garden drinking myself silly. I might even have done a tip run to shift
the kitchen wreckage we generated yesterday. Instead I went to work. As I drove up the motorway
I listened to the pundits on the radio; flicking between DAB and FM. I'm
sorry, but if anyone tells me they can hear a difference, I don't believe
them. The pundits on the DAB and FM were talking
about how the cost of living is going through the roof, and
were interviewing a chicken farmer. The chap was talking about how grain
prices (for feeding the chickens) are rocketing what with a war going
on where the grain comes from, and what with all the disruption at our ports.
The chap said the cost of feeding the chickens is now four hundred quid a
month more than it was last year, and that before long chicken will cost as
much as beef. As I listened to him
I couldn't help but look at the miles of lorries queued up on what was
supposed to be the coast-bound carriageway of the M20. How many of those
drivers had been there all night? How many are going to put up with those
working conditions? That's why the cost of living is going up and up and up -
having all these lorries full of whatever it is we want to buy sitting idle
can't be cheap. There was also talk about the leader and
deputy leader of the Labour party who (like the Prime Minister) are
also accused of having staged piss-ups
during lockdown. After a few minutes on-line I found
this which speaks volumes about the Labour party. As of last Thursday (when anyone with any
sense packed up for the Bank Holiday weekend) the Labour party were six
points ahead of the Conservatives in the popularity polls. Six points ? Is
that all? With a Prime Minister who has been caught out in his own lies time
and again, a Prime Minister and a Chancellor who have both just had fines for
breaking the law, and Conservative MPs caught re-handed watching filth in the
House of Commons, why aren't the Labour party sixty points ahead? Mind you the drippling democraps,
tree huggers, and all the others put together can only scrape up just over a
quarter of the poll. What is wrong with our country's political system? I got to work and had a rather dull day
mostly spent sulking about all the other things I could have been doing. And
with work and sulking done I came home and spent an hour in the front garden
sawing up the larger fragments of the old kitchen into more manageable sized
bits. One of the disadvantages of having a smaller car is that (obviously)
I can’t get as much into it as I could the three larger cars I had
previously. I can probably shift the kitchen wreckage in
two car-loads now… if only I can park the car
anywhere near home to load it up tomorrow. We then fed the koi… and in the aftermath
Bailey fell in the pond. It had to happen sooner or later; now we know that (like
her brother) she can swim. “er indoors TM” boiled up a very
good bit of dinner; an incredibly good bit of dinner bearing in mind what
we’ve now got as a kitchen is lacking (to say the least). I think it
fair to say that the kitchen right now doesn’t come close to what we used to
have when we went camping. Hopefully the nice man starts building the
new kitchen tomorrow… |
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3 May 2022 (Tuesday)
- Four Pints of Mild
I don't mind taking the puppies into the
garden at far-too-early o'clock to do their business. But I'd rather that all
I had to do was stand and wait whist they did their business. I'd rather not
have to watch Bailey "like a pork" (to coin a phrase)
to check she doesn't eat any turds she might find,
and I'm not at all keen on trying to get the turds she is trying to eat out
of her mouth. The poor little puppy really didn't
understand why I wasn't keen on "dog kisses" as I watched
"Orange is the New Black" this morning. The monthly Munzee Clan War started today. As
part of this month's challenge I have to Munz forty "Points of Interest". Don't
be fooled by the name - they are dull, but I managed to Munz
a quarter of the monthly requirement before setting off up the motorway to
work. As I drove my piss
boiled. With petrol prices going through the roof, and my combined leccie and gas bill up over eighty quid a month on what
they were a few months ago, the fuel giant BP has announced record-breaking
profits. The pundits on the radio wheeled on the leader of the dribbling democraps who said that if the government slaps windfall
taxes on BP (in a fit of pique) then BP will probably stop investing
in the UK. He's probably got a point. This is sadly a practical demonstration
of "market forces" in which those with loads of money get
loads more, and those without end up without even a pot in which to piss. And there was a lot of talk about how the
American supreme court is looking to outlaw
abortions in the USA. Pro-life campaigners annoy me. How many are really sincere in their beliefs, and how many are blindly
following the teachings of a church which has told them what to think for
their entire life. I was reminded of someone with whom I used to work who now
is an internationally famous pro-life campaigner. A very intelligent woman
all the time the local priest wasn't around. But when he was about, she
blindly followed any old claptrap he spouted, no matter how patently
ridiculous. I looked her up on the Internet today. I won't give a link, but describing herself on her Twitter profile as “passionately
pro-life, pro-marriage & pro-family” she is clearly drawing a veil
over the husband and child she left in Africa twenty years ago. I listened to the radio for rather longer
than usual this morning. A lorry had had a blow-out on the M20,
and bearing in mind that only half of the M20 is in use these days it
doesn't take much to stop the thing dead in its tracks. I crawled at a
snail's pace for over five miles as queues of traffic tried to get past it. I had planned on a Munzee mission near work
before I started, but all the time I would have spent scanning bar codes
stuck to lamp posts was wasted queuing up on the motorway. Work was much as it ever is,
but being on an early shift was good. With no broken-down lorries in the
way I got home far quicker than I got to work, and rather than going in to the house I spent half an hour loading up much of
the wreckage of the kitchen into the back of my car. I rather thought that
the dogs would be barking through the window at me, but they were rather
preoccupied with the nice man who was doing “New Kitchen Phase I”. “New Kitchen Phase I” involved
replacing the rather naff glass partition between the living room and
kitchen. Yesterday I realised it still had the masking tape on it from where
I’d painted round it maybe twenty years ago. We settled the dogs and went up to The County
Hotel where several of us met up for a meal and a catch-up. It was good to
meet up with friends we’d nod seen for months (years), and four pints
of mild slipped down far too easily… |
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4 May 2022
(Wednesday) - Before the Night Shift
There’s no denying that the fourth pint of
mild last might was something of a mistake. The alarm woke me at seven
o’clock this morning and I came down to find the puppies were awake. By
judiciously following them outside with a trowel I managed to avoid any poops
getting eaten this morning. Leaving “er indoors TM”
with the dogs I drove round to the tip and joined the queue. As I waited I deployed Munzees and
listened to the pundits on the radio interviewing the Environment Secretary
who seemed to treat every question he was asked with utter contempt. When
asked about some old woman who goes on
endless bus journeys (as the bus is warmer than her cold house)
the idiot just said that the Prime Minister was right when he said the old
woman should be grateful for her bus pass. The tip opened on time, but there was
something of a delay because I wasn’t on the list of people allowed in this
morning. I had my booking reference, but the jobsworth guarding the gate
wouldn’t let anyone in who wasn’t on his list. He didn’t want to know about
the confirmation email I had received; apparently *if* I had a booking
reference then I would be on his list. I turned his logic round and pointed
out that since I did have a booking reference I *was* on his list. The
chap checked again and (lo and behold) I was on the list. Having delayed everyone needlessly (being
second in the queue there were quite a few cars behind me) we all finally
got to unload our rubbish. It took far longer to unload this morning
than it had taken to load up last night, and I drove back home where I filled
the car with more rubbish for tomorrow’s tip run. I then took the dogs to the park for a little
walk. Our walk was somewhat plagued by cyclists, as had my earlier driving
been. Cyclists have always been something of a law unto themselves, but today
they were flying down the pavements, shooting through red traffic lights,
wobbling about on the wrong side of the road… they really do seem to do what
they like when they like. We wandered through the park, and then went
on round some of the roads nearby on something of a Munzee mission, capping
Greenies (as one does) in the hope of finding a Qrate.
I found two. I also found a nutter in a mobility scooter who followed us
shouting “chicken chicken chicken”
at the dogs for no reason I could fathom. We eventually shook hm off by going down an
alley too narrow for his scooter. With walk walked we all then had a little
sleep on the sofa until the nice man arrived to carry on sorting the kitchen.
Having woofed at him a little, the dogs then ignored him mostly. The puppies
did steal some masking stuff he was using, and Morgan did get a white nose (somehow) but they eventually got bored with him and went back to
sleep. After an hour or so the dogs woke and were
fractious, so whilst the nice man sealed up the kitchen and made loads of dust I took the dogs into the garden where we did a few
minutes of “dog school” in which Pogo and Treacle showed Morgan and
Bailey how to do “sit”. Morgan had a fair stab at it but if this had
been a proper school, Bailey would have been wearing a dunce’s cap. “er indoors TM” had to go to the
office for the morning; she came home at lunch time
and I went to bed for three hours, waking to find that one of the puppies had
crapped on “er indoors TM”’s phone. Going to the night shift in a few minutes
will be a blessed relief ... |
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5 May 2022 (Thursday)
- After the Night Shift
I wouldn’t say that last night was one of the
worse night shifts, but it is always good to see the relief arrive. I set off
homewards down the motorway listening to the pundits on the radio spewing
their drivel. And drivel it was. I listened to the “Thought for the Day”
and seriously considered writing to the speaker to formally apologize for
being a white man. Whilst historically there has been a lot of
very bad things committed by various groups of people against various other
groups, I
didn’t kill Stephen Lawrence, and neither did millions of other white
middle-aged men. The woman speaking on the radio this morning was seriously
implying that every white middle aged man should
feel responsible for every racist act ever committed. I drove to the tip and found someone
different on the gate. Unlike yesterday there was no “jobsworth attitude”
and I soon unloaded the last of the kitchen rubbish. As I unloaded
I saw the nice man with the hawk was at the tip. The hawk (and the nice
man) visits several times each week to keep the seagulls and other vermin
away. The nice man saw my Ringwood Brewery hoodie, and thought I worked
there. Apparently he likes their beers, often stays
with friends near the brewery, and had no idea that the brewery had a shop. With rubbish unloaded I put the car seats
back, re-installed the dog-proofing around the boot, then drove home to find
the new kitchen had arrived. It had been delivered before I’d finished the
night shift. Mind you that’s “delivered”; not “installed”.
The bits of the new kitchen are all filling one end of the living room, and all of the contents of the living room have been doubled
up at the other end. I rolled my eyes at the mess and went to bed. I woke after three hours when my CPAP machine
stopped working. It stopped with everything else when the nice man doing the
kitchen had to pull the power for some reason or other. I came downstairs to find that the living
room was still rammed wall-to-wall with all sorts of stuff… apparently as well
as our new cooker we’ve got one for someone in Bexhill as well. Having that
taken away tomorrow will free up some space. But seeing how tight we were for
space I took the bigger dogs out to somewhere where it wasn’t quite so
claustrophobic. We went to Orlestone
woods where we encountered an odd fellow. As we walked
we caught up with some chap and his dog… I say “caught up” – we got to
within thirty yards of him when he looked back at us in utter panic, then ran
on. And we caught up with him again, and he again ran on. And so it continued until he eventually took one turning and
we took another. As we walked we
couldn’t help but notice that the squirrels were out in force. I lost count
of the amount of the squirrine menace that
was chased up trees. It was a shame that both dogs had to run through the
swamp several times, but there it was. With walk walked we had a bath (well, some
of us did), and then we had another instalment of “Dog School”
in the garden. Treacle and Pogo didn’t seem very fussed about taking part;
they really did exude an aura of “been there, done that”, but little
Morgan seems to have mastered “sit”. Little Bailey doesn’t seem to
have a clue, but she’ll get the hang of it eventually… or she won’t. With no kitchen, “er indoors TM”
popped up the road to the kebab shop, and we had a rather good dinner, marred
only by Treacle (of all dogs) screaming for scraps. I wish she
wouldn’t… |
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6 May 2022 (Friday) -
Before the Late Shift
With no toaster or oven or any way to warm
bread at all, I thought I might have cereal for brekkie. With the remans of the old kitchen forced into a very crowded living
room I managed to find a bowl and a spoon. The cereals themselves eventually
came to light behind the new kitchen units… I could see them, but there was
absolutely no way of getting to them, so I made do with a cup of coffee and
once I’d had a go at the kitchen window hinges with some WD40 I cleared up
dog spew. “er indoors TM” got some new dog food yesterday.
Those hounds that didn’t have the trots had blown. The joys of dogs… Having cleared up pretty much all of the various canine outpourings that I could find (yuk!)
I took Pogo and Treacle down to the woods for a walk. We came out of the
house to find the car which has been parked outside for five weeks (literally
hadn’t moved for five weeks) was gone. Result! Parking is always at a
premium round our way. As we drove the pundits on the radio were
talking about yesterday’s
by-elections. The conservatives had lost a lot of seats, but there was no
clear winner between the Labour party, the dribbling democraps
and the Greens (who are slowly but surely becoming a force to be reckoned
with). It would seem that the country has had
enough of the Tories, but isn’t sure about who to replace them with, and all
the time the anti-Tory vote is split, there is no effective opposition. We got to the woods, and
bearing in mind that the last two trips to the woods have been followed with
dog bath time, I planned a route avoiding as many swamps as I could. There
was a minor hiccup when Treacle managed to jump a fence and get into a field
where she shouldn’t be, but a triumph for whistle training soon had her back
with me. We had a minor episode when we were about to
leave. I opened the boot of the car as I do and the
dogs jumped in as they do. I blew the whistle and gave them treats… and a
passing idiot loudly announced to his dogs that it was treat time and brought
them over in the hope of treats. Pogo and Treacle can barely tolerate another
dog of our wolf-pack getting anything; let alone some stranger. Both of my
dogs flew from the boot and chased the intruders away. The passing idiot was
rather taken aback. It was rather sad really; he honestly thought that my
dogs would be only too happy to share. But he openly admitted that his dogs
certainly wouldn’t share treats with strange dogs. I certainly do attract them, don’t I? We came home and didn’t need a bath which was
a result. Leaving the dogs with “er indoors TM” I set off
in the general direction of work. As I drove up the motorway I listened to “Women’s
Hour” in frank amazement. It is no secret that women are biologically
equipped to have babies. Not only was this (apparently!) devised by a
man, the fact that there are no artificial wombs was also down to men. And
there was then a fifteen minute “what-if” session in which some
perfect world was imagined having been brought about by artificial wombs. The
fact that these are purely in the realms of science-fiction didn’t seem to be
a stumbling block for planning a world with them, and the fact that
artificial wombs are purely in the realms of science-fiction was somehow a
male plot. “Women’s Hour” amazes me. Whenever I
listen to it can’t get over the amount of vitriol spewed at all men. I thought I’d get some petrol, and so joined
the queue. Queues for petrol? Had the stupidity of panic buying started
again? Apparently not. Apparently Friday morning is
always busy at the petrol pumps. I shall remember that. And having got to work early I then Munz-ed like a thing possessed. Having planned to cap
twenty Qrewzees I got to open two Qrates as well. Result. And so to work for
what was the busiest late shift for some time… I quite like the late start
because I can get all sorts of things done in the morning and have all sorts
of adventures… but the late finish isn’t so good. |
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7 May 2022 (Saturday)
- Before Another Late Shift
I chivvied the puppies round the garden as I
do most mornings where both did that which was expected of them. With no
chance of brekkie this morning and rain forecast I took Treacle and Pogo out.
I’d had reports of a missing geocache in Kings Wood. I’ve had reports of
missing geocaches of mine all over the place, but Hemsted
woods is too far away, and “Out in the Sticks” now has signs about
keeping dogs on leads because of copious amounts of rat poison about. We were minutes from the lower car park at
Kings Wood when my watch rattled. A new Adventure Lab cache series had gone
live not two miles down the road from where we were. So I changed plans in
the hope that I might get FTF on some lab caches. We followed the sat nav to the Devil’s
Kneading Trough. Have you ever been there? It is at the very top of the North
Downs. We walked across a field to our first location where we had to answer
a question about a mill stone. Then we went all the way down to the bottom of
the downs for our next port of call. Then all the way up again. And all the
way down again. We even managed to take a few photos
and screen shots. With five questions answered we had the
information to find a physical geocache which was (you guessed it)
back up again. First to Find on five Adventure Lab caches and one physical
cache. There was a minor issue in that I couldn’t see the physical one on the
geo-map to do the admin. I messaged the chap who had set it all up only to be
told that the geo-feds had given the location of the physical cache the
thumbs down… even though there have been geocaches within spitting distance
of that place before. If I had to describe the way geocaching is
run using only one word, that word would be “inconsistent”. We came home where we washed the fox poo off
of Treacle (she learned how to roll in the stuff from Fudge), and had a cuppa (as we can get to the kettle). “er indoors TM” set off
shopping, and I sat with four sleeping dogs for as long as I could before
settling them and setting off to Kingswood (the one near Maidstone).
The plan for tomorrow involves hunting out Tupperware secreted in the area,
and the location of one of them involves a two stage
puzzle. The first part uses "What Three Words" to take you
to a point outside a post office, and the second part of the puzzle is based
on the notice board there (which you can't see from Google Street View).
I counted the letters on the header board, I counted the legs and the
keyholes... and then spent fifteen minutes getting progressively more and
frustrated because when I subtracted one from five I
didn't get four. Have I ever mentioned that I really do have a degree in
mathematics? Having eventually got a green light from the
checker I shared the location with those who needed to know it, then set off
to work. I had a quick bit of macaroni cheese, the cracked on with the late
shift whilst I sulked. Working at the weekends means I get time off
during the week. But it means I can miss out too. There was a big meeting of
hunters of Tupperware at the crazy golf in Hastings today which I missed. “Daddy’s Little Angel TM”
was staging a big family get-together this afternoon featuring four
generations of family which I also missed. Instead I sulked as I
worked. Today’s late shift was rather arduous. As was yesterday’s… Can’t say
I’m keen on this. |
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8 May 2022 (Sunday) -
Kingswood
“er indoors TM” spent a bit of time
sorting the carnage of the house yesterday and we now have a tiny bit of
space in what was and what will be the kitchen. Not much, but enough for the
toaster. Oh, how I’ve missed having brekkie. I scoffed toast whilst I had a look at the
Internet. It was still there, and pretty much the same as ever. Quite a lot
of it was squabbles in the aftermath of last week’s elections. So many people
follow political parties in much the same way that they follow football
teams. I know of people who would vote Conservative or Labour even if they
were led by Satan himself and had policies of eating babies; purely because
that party is “their party”. None of the people squabbling had any
idea of the actual policies advocated by their political choice, and (quite
frankly) didn’t care about them either. This is what is wrong with our so-called “democracy”
isn’t it? Mind you a friend of a friend was posting
photos of his holiday in Svalbard. This is somewhere I would *really*
like to go , but I’ve heard tell it ain’t cheap.
This chap was saying that the going rate up there for a tube of Pringles is
four quid. That is exactly double the price in Tesco. I also saw I had over fifty emails of which I
wanted/needed maybe three. So many emails from recruitment agencies asking me
to join LinkedIn. Are professional blood testers in such short supply?
Bearing in mind that most hospital labs have vacancies they can’t fill, I suspect
they (we) are. We got ourselves and the dogs together and
set off a little later than usual. We drove up to Kingswood (the one near
Maidstone) where we met Karl, Tracey and Charlotte and set off on a
little walk (as always) guided by a series of geocaches. We started off walking round the rather
pretty village, then moved into the woods which were beautiful. The bluebells
were in full bloom, the footpaths were clearly marked (if somewhat at odds
with the maps), and there weren’t too many normal people getting in our
way. We found a rather good spot for lunch, and
watched a rather large buzzard flying about. I kept a close eye on the pups;
I don’t think the buzzard would have had them… but he was certainly big
enough. We met a couple of other dogs, but it was
little Bailey (the smallest by far of the wolf-pack) who kicked off. I
took few photos as we walked. Geocaching-wise it was a really
good walk. There were four puzzles to be solved before we left home.
Straightforward ones, but one I had to work at. There was a range of
container sizes, from tiny up to rather huge. Some were straightforward
hides, some not so; including one unusual container
the like of which I had never seen before (in over fourteen thousand finds).
There were two tree climbs which defeated us; we could see the caches up both
trees. We couldn’t get high enough up the first one; the second one needed ropes and climbing equipment. However there was a minor
issue… Each cache was titled “Kingswood Caching” and then had a little
bit of title which was unique to each hide. However
on the GPS screen all I could see was the “Kingswood Caching” bit. Personally I’d rather the caches in the series had started
with a number to guide us round; without a number we were dependent on
judicious map work to ensure we didn’t miss any of the caches. But that’s
just a piddling detail really. Someone had taken a lot of time and put in a
lot of effort to give us a guided walk through some rather pretty woods, for
which I am very grateful. We came home, and as I posted photos to the
internet so “er indoors TM” and all four dogs snored like things
possessed. Pogo and Treacle (and “er indoors TM”) are used
to the distance, but was it too much for the puppies? Possibly. Mind you they
were carried for a lot (most) of the walk. “er indoors TM” sorted a bit of
dinner, then once I’d found the iron (it took some finding!) I ironed
shirts whilst watching an episode of “Orange in the New Black”. What
with having the contents of the kitchen and the living room in the way, this
was the first telly program I’d watched for a while. As I ironed “er
indoors TM” took the puppies to visit “Daddy’s Little Angel
TM” and to collect a large tank for her. Apparently “Stormageddon
– Bringer of Destruction TM” is getting a pet axolotl… |
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9 May 2022 (Monday) -
This n That
I woke feeling rather knackered, but I did
wake probably earlier than I would have liked (as I so often do).
Taking care not to wake the puppies I crept downstairs, had a shave, *then*
woke the puppies. Bailey was keen to see me; Morgan looked as knackered as I
felt. I carried them outside where they did their things (as puppies do),
then settled them, got dressed and set off on a little Munzee mission before
work. I've found two spots in town where I can park
and between the two places I can get eight Points of
(rather dull) Interest Munzees. From there I
set off up the motorway and diverted off at Junction six for four more of the
things. As I drove the talk on the radio was of little else but the ongoing
situation in Ukraine. But there was a little else. There was talk of Sir Kier
Starmer who (like the Prime Minister) is accused
of breaking lockdown rules. Did he? I don't know. But as it was mentioned
this morning, no politician can ever get on with anything all the time there
is scandal hanging over their head. There was also an interview with one of the
head honchos of one of the country's biggest power companies (was it
Scottish Power?) who warned of the country's gas and leccie
bills going
up another thousand quid per year before too much longer. The chap had a
point though. The government decided to sell off
the country's power supply and make it a profit-making industry many years
ago. (It's called "capitalism", isn't it?) But then the
government put a cap on how much these companies can charge their customers.
And so the power companies are now in the daft
position that they have to run at a loss. How can it be right that they buy
something for a quid but are legally not allowed to sell it on for more than
ninety pence? How can that possibly work? The obvious answer is for the
company not having to find profit for all its shareholders... or am I just an
idealistic old leftie? I got to work where I realised
I'd left home without having had any brekkie. Woops. Fortunately
the works branch of M&S does croissants. The works canteen where I used
to work thirty years ago did croissants too. I could get two croissants and a
cup of coffee there for thirty pence. Today one croissant alone costs me a
quid. There's inflation for you... Or capitalism. Work was… frankly too much like hard work for
my liking today. I was pleased when it was time to go home. I came home and
took the bigger dogs to the woods where we had a good walk and managed to
avoid most of the normal people. Treacle waded through some mud, but only
ankle-deep. It soon washed off once we got home. Once home I fed the dogs whilst “er
indoors TM” went bowling, and then set the washing machine
scrubbing my smalls. The thing worked intermittently – I eventually found the
problem was that the switch of the power socket was on the iffy side.
Hopefully that switch will be replaced along with the rest of the old stuff
in the kitchen… I’d better check that it is on the list… If only the puppies would calm down. Pogo and
Treacle are hiding from them; the evening has been like living with a pair of
whirlwinds… |
|
10 May 2022
(Wednesday) - Before the Night Shift
With the toaster and kettle precariously
balance on the washing machine I made some toast and coffee. Then I (equally
precariously) balanced plate and mug on the assorted rubbish on the table
whilst I struggled myself into the sofa. It is ten days since we stripped the
old kitchen out, and I am so pleased with the chap we’ve got fitting the
kitchen. Despite no end of setbacks including having had other people’s units
delivered, having had to get replacements for damaged units, and having found
the supplier’s measurements were wrong, the chap has taken it all in his
stride and worked wonders. As I scoffed toast I
had a look at the Internet as I so most mornings. A few people had seen the posting I made last
night to the local geocaching Facebook page. I’ve decided to archive two of
my series. One has been out quite long enough and has run its course. The
landowner of the other has put up signs saying to keep dogs on leads as he’s
putting down rat traps baited with poison. Both would seem to have missing caches
on them, and (quite frankly) if those getting enjoyment from the walks
can’t be arsed to replace a missing pot as they walk by
I can’t be arsed to make a special journey to do so either. I had this naïve
idea if I clear these spaces then other people might put out caches, but
having looked
at Project GC it would seem that I am the county’s third most prolific
hiders of geocachers, and only four of the top ten are still active in the
hobby. Bearing in mind that anything might happen in
the house today I got the lawn mowed whilst we
still had some leccie to power the lawnmower. That
didn’t take long, and then I took the two bigger dogs up to Kings Wood. We
walked for quite some way and had had a very good walk… In over thirty years
of visiting Kings Wood (at various times) I’ve never seen horses up
there. We met two loads today. I must admit I was rather reluctant to come
home… I dreaded what I would find. And I came home to find the kitchen sink
in the front garden and the outside kitchen wall apparently crumbling away. “er indoors TM” says it will all be
worth it in the end. As the nice man bashed crumbling wall I sat
and wrote up some CPD
whilst the dogs got more and more wound up snapping
at flies, before going to bed for the afternoon where I slept for four hours.
I’m told I slept through a lot of hammering and bashing and lot of
barking too…. I’m off to the night shift now. The last
three shifts I’ve done have been rather stressful. If I get another I am
going to seriously start thinking about retirement. I don’t mind going to
work; I just don’t like doing too much of it… |
|
11 May 2022
(Wednesday) - Bit Tired
With no kitchen, last
week before the night shift I went to McDonalds and was sadly disappointed.
So still with no kitchen. last night I thought I might have a sandwich before
work. I stopped off at the Larkfield Sainsburys, put a sandwich and *loads*
of other stuff into my trolley and queued up. And waited. And waited.
As always there were nowhere near enough tills for the amount
of customers... but that is a rant for another time. When I eventually came
to pay I was told that the sandwich I wanted had
been "withdrawn from sale". Other customers were finding the
same. None of us were offered any explanation or alternative, and all the assistant could do was give a
rather sickly smile as she clearly had no idea what else to do. All she could
say was that the sandwich had been "withdrawn from sale",
and she repeated that like a stuck record. I told her that if an item is
"withdrawn from sale" it should not be on the shelves, and (to
be fair to her) I also told her it was not fair to have untrained staff
dealing with this sort of problem. Her smile didn't falter or
flicker... she really was like a robot which had been programmed to grimace
when events exceeded its capabilities. Leaving twenty quid's
worth of other stuff at the till I walked off (as did the woman on the
next till), and drove up to Morrisons which (in
all honesty) wasn't much better. I got what I wanted for overnight. I
didn't get the red wine though; the very same stuff had been two quid cheaper
in Sainsburys. As I came to pay some
officious busybody in a hi-his jacket bellowed in my ear that we should all
get a move on as the store was closing in five minutes. He then bellowed at a
passing assistant that the fruit at the checkout should be reduced in price
to ten pence. I said I'd have some of that for ten pence, but I was just
about to pay... Oh dear... I couldn't have it
for ten pence until "Martin" had re-priced it. But
"Martin" didn't know how to operate the re-pricing gadget.
And having said that I'd like some of the reduced price
stuff, the woman on the checkout refused to scan any of my stuff until "Martin"
had done his thing... even though "Martin" was quite openly
saying he didn't know how to. I had to be quite
rude before the woman gave up on the idea of selling me cheap fruit. Why do I
attract these idiots? I got to work where I
scoffed a late tea. The sandwich wasn't all that good; certainly
wasn't worth the aggro I'd been through to get it. During breaks between
work I did what I often do on the night shift. I
read old blog entries. Last night I was reading about what I was getting up
to in early 2008. Fourteen years ago I was a very
active scout leader. I was a leading light in the fledgling astronomy club. I
was a regular at the archaeology club, and ran a
weekly Star Trek fan club. I would regularly do archery, go camping and
attend beer festivals. And spend an inordinate amount of time in NeverWinter. All whilst having a
far more demanding job than I have now (much as I prefer my current job!). There is so much that
I used to do that I don't any more. How did I ever
have time for it all? Mind you, back then
we had a functional kitchen. It was with a sense of "FFS"
that I looked at the now-redundant old kitchen sink and dishwasher (in the
front garden) as I came home this morning. I then spent much of
the day feeling like a zombie… Am I too old for night work? |
|
12 May 2022
(Thursday) - "The Dog Ate It"
After Treacle's many attempts to push me off
the bed I shoved her back two feet, and then slept rather well after that.
Getting up rather later than usual I found the puppies wide awake so took
them out into the garden where they embarked on a pitched battle with each
other (as puppies do); showing no interest in doing that for which
we'd actually gone outside. Eventually Bailey "did"
something, but with Morgan still “fully loaded” I wasn't letting them
loose in the house. I took them both into the bathroom with me where Morgan
ate my pyjama top whilst I shaved. Fudge once ate his coat and his bed, so
there is a precedent for Jackshunds eating that
which they shouldn't. I then struggled to brush my teeth as my
electric toothbrush had gone flat, and I was unable to charge it as Morgan
had also eaten the charger. Being unable to locate the kettle or toaster
(it's a "having no kitchen" thing) I thought I might have
brekkie at work. As I drove up a very busy motorway the
pundits on the radio were talking about how Finland
is applying for membership of N.A.T.O. A year or so the
overwhelming majority of Finns didn't want anything to do with
N.A.T.O. Now they've seen what has happened to Ukraine, they can't join quick
enough. Funny that... There was also talk about the ongoing crisis
facing the NHS – the delays in getting hold of an
ambulance. I don’t want to rant too much, but let’s just say that as a
country we are in a sad state when the mother of a one-month-old fitting baby
is told it would be quicker to get from Folkestone town centre to the William
Harvey Hospital by public transport than by emergency ambulance (not that
this actually happened this week !) I got to work and got a croissant from the
works branch of Marks & Spencer which I had with a cup of coffee for my
breakfast. As I scoffed I saw I had emails. Yesterday
when I took the dogs up to Kings Wood I'd hidden a
couple of geocaches (I'm going to concentrate my geo-efforts up there from
now on!). This morning the geo-Feds had given me the thumbs-up. Both of
my new hides had been accepted, and I even got a souvenir for hiding them...
which is more than the previous four hundred and ninety-odd had got. I also saw I had an email from Credit Karma
who told me my score had dropped by three points in the last month. They
didn't tell me why, though I suspect squandering far too much money on two
small dogs probably didn't help it. I made noises about getting with work... and
after five minutes the boss came up to me. Apparently
several people had phoned in sick. I looked around; we seemed to have a full
house. But the sickness was in Tunbridge Wells... Picking up my lunch I
wandered out to the car park and had a leisurely drive along the A26. I finally made a start a couple of hours
later than I might have done, and had a rather
better day than some I've had recently. As I said to anyone who would listen,
I didn't mind going to Pembury; it was a day out, wasn't it? However being at Pembury
meant I was half an hour later home than I might have been. I came home to a
locked house; “er indoors TM” had taken the wolf pack out
with her to do some geo-maintenance. I had a little look at what was once a
kitchen (and will be again). We’ve now got a sink and what looks like
a plumbed-in washing machine. The kettle and toaster are set up on a
cardboard box. However the microwave seems to have
disappeared. I wonder where that has gone. I expect it will turn up; most
everything else has vanished and come back again over the last week or so –
the kettle and toaster are particularly good at that. I made the most of the peace and quiet, and wondered when the dogs and “er indoors TM”
would be home and what dinner they would bring with them. Other than toast we
can’t cook much at home… |
|
13 May 2022 (Friday)
- Before the Late Shift
I went to the loo at
five o’clock and inadvertently woke the puppies. They went out and had their
tiddle, and I told them “back to bed”. Amazingly they went back to
their crate and settled down so I went back to my
pit and settled down too. I am reliably informed that two minutes after I
fell asleep the puppies started screaming, and I got up three hours later to
find that “er indoors TM” had spent the rest of the night
on the sofa with all four dogs. Once I’d had a shave
and brushed my teeth (with my new non-electric toothbrush) I thought
I’d make toast and coffee as I could see the kettle and toaster were set up. However finding a plate, a mug, a knife and a spoon
involved some serious arse-ache. Finally having created some
brekkie I squeezed myself onto the sofa and scoffed it whist peering at the
Internet (like I always used to do). There was a good argument kicking
off on one of the local Facebook groups in which some chap had posted footage
of himself running over someone on an electric scooter; the electric scooter
having sped across the road with no consideration for anything so trivial as
looking to see if a car was coming. As always the
keyboard warriors were out in force grumbling about electric scooters. Not
one of them was brave enough to suggest going out to clear the streets of
these things, which would be the obvious solution to the problem. Not that
I’m in any way suggesting we form vigilante mobs to do the job that the
police are either unwilling or unable to do… There was also a
squabble on one of the work-related Facebook groups in which some old codger
(actually younger than me!) was griping about how apprentice
blood-testers these days are all whinging about how
low-paid the job is. Well… to be fair,
they are, but I can’t understand how anyone can come into the job any more unless they are doing it as a hobby or a second
income whilst being funded either by a rich partner or inherited money. When I was a lad I was full of idealistic talk about job satisfaction…
several of the people with whom I had these conversations are now on ten
times my salary (quite literally ten times!) Money might not buy
you happiness, but it allows you to be miserable in comfort. With a little spare time I thought I might take Pogo and Treacle up to Kings
Wood. We got as far as the traffic lights by the outlet centre, and on seeing
the queues and traffic jams we would have to negotiate, I did a U-turn and
(once we'd got past the juggernaut going at sixteen miles an hour in a
national speed limit zone) we went to Orlestone
Woods instead, where we had a very good walk. We didn't go in any swamps. We
didn't bark at anyone. We had no "episodes" at all. We did chase a
frankly epic squirrel, but the squirrel got away. To be honest it was so huge
I did doubt it was a squirrel until it went up a tree, and
judging by the size of the thing it was as well that it got away. With walk walked we
came home. Usually I would have fiddled around the
house, but there was plenty of fiddling already going on in the ex-kitchen,
and with plans to turn off the power and plans for a new dishwasher arriving,
I thought I might be better off getting out of the way. I drove out to Frittenden. There is a series of geocaches there that
have been on the radar for some time, but the designated parking zone didn't
look very good on Google Street View. It looked a whole lot better in
reality. I then carried on to Sissinghurst where I bought a rather overpriced
sandwich, and some bottles of beer for future walks, and then took a little
detour. I thought I might see if I couldn't find two geocaches (along the
same footpath) which might give me a little adventure before work. My
first target (the one which was furthest away from where I'd parked)
had detailed instructions about how to deal with the camouflage netting
concealing it... Camouflage netting (like camouflage bags) is
something on which hiders of Tupperware spend a small fortune only to have it
fall apart within days. There was no camouflage netting that I could see on (or
near) this one. My second target (on
the way back to the car) was a straightforward find... once I'd stepped
over the turd that someone had been crapped nearby.
There really was a human turd that someone had
crapped out by the tree. Aren't some people delightful? I kicked leaf litter
over it, did the secret geo-rituals and made my way back to the car. I got to the works
car park a little earlier than I might have done, and
read my Kindle for a bit. Most days I read my Kindle. I'm getting quite into
an author called Peter Cawdron right now. He's
written a rather
good series of books. Each one is a stand-alone book and investigates how
humanity might first contact aliens. Like all good books
they feature well-developed characters and are rather thought-provoking.
Imagine if First Contact wasn't a spaceship turning up on the lawn of the
White House, but was actually through Twitter? As I read I scoffed my sandwich which I washed down with a tin
of vanilla-flavoured Doctor Pepper. Have you ever tried vanilla flavoured
Doctor Pepper? If you haven't I wouldn't bother - it
was awful. Interestingly on 4
November 2019 I had some cherry and vanilla flavoured Doctor Pepper which I
described as "wasn’t all that at all", and on 6 July 2017 I
had a tin of vanilla flavoured coca-cola and that
was (and I quote) "bloody awful". I've also got a
vague memory of vanilla
flavoured Monster Munch at a kite festival many years ago that was terrible. I wonder if the next
time I see vanilla flavoured stuff I will remember that vanilla flavour only
works for ice-cream? I doubt it. I got on with work.. in something of a sulk. Not that I am superstitious
but what had I been thinking when I'd volunteered to do a late shift at a
trauma centre on Friday the thirteenth. And I wasn't supposed to be at
Pembury today anyway. I was supposed to me at Maidstone where they had been
having a "diversity day" which I am told featured a lot of cake. During a lull in the work I tried to book a slot at the tip for Monday to get
rid of kitchen rubbish, but the works IT refused to let me. It had recognised
the website for booking appointments at Ashford's tip as being "Entertainment". As I worked so “er
indoors TM” sent me a message. The new dishwasher had
arrived, and some passing vagrants had knocked on the door and asked if they
could have the old dishwasher that was in the front garden. That's one less
thing for me to take to the tip... if I can ever book a slot. Oh - and in closing
today I would point out that today a court
has ruled that calling a man "bald" is now a form of
sexual harassment. It would seem that commenting on a man’s baldness in the
workplace is equivalent to remarking on the size of a woman’s breasts, and receiving comments about it gives the
slap-head grounds for claiming compensation. I'll have some of
that... |
|
14 May 2022 (Saturday) - Lazy Day
Last night when I turned the lap-top off it told
me it would install some updates before shutting down. After forty minutes it
was still doing its thing so I went to bed. I got up this morning to find it had eventually
turned itself off, so I pressed the “on” button then I made toast in a
way not unlike how I used to when camping which I hunted here, there and thither to find all the tools and ingredients.
Eventually the lap-top sorted itself out, but in
total it spent about an hour “updating” to end up marginally slower
than it had been before it started. I had a notification; our Munzee clan has got to
level one. That’s rather good going bearing in mind there’s only me and “er
indoors TM” in it. And then I looked at Facebook. Six friends
had a birthday today… “six friends”. Two of them were the same person
with duplicate accounts, one hadn’t actually told
Facebook today was his birthday, and none of the other three have made any
attempt to get in touch whatsoever for over five years. “er indoors TM” and I took
the dogs out. The plan had been a shortish walk and a pub lunch, but events
had conspired against us (actually against
our fellow walkers and the chief dog wrangler) so instead we just took
the wolf pack to Great Chart and walked from the cricket pitch up to the
river where we had great fun. I threw stones into the river and Pogo and Treacle got incredibly over-excited chasing and
jumping and swimming after the stones I threw. Morgan and Bailey got
incredibly over-excited because Pogo and Treacle were incredibly
over-excited We came home, where we declared “Emergency
Plan B”. With little else to do we set about some of the beer in in the
house. “er indoors TM” made a very good ploughman’s lunch.
We scoffed and drank whilst reading books (old skool!)
You can’t beat a bit of “Jeeves and Wooster”. And then finding myself nodding off I lay down on
the sofa where I was very soon underneath a pile of dogs. We all slept for a
couple of hours before turning on the telly. We watched the last episode of the current season
of “Star Trek: Picard” in which the writers obviously though that it
was time to make an effort. The episode was rather
good, with lots of nods to what had gone before, with some surprises… it was
just something of a shame that the writers had left it right to the end
before making the effort. And then an episode of “Bake Off: Australia”
which was forty minutes shorter than you might think; it is amazing how much
time you can save by fast-forwarding through the adverts. We’ve had a
rather lazy day today… but a good one. |
15 May 2022
(Sunday) - Another Lazy Day
I slept
like a log last night; both the puppies nor “er
indoors TM” didn’t. Apparently she
sat up with them until the dishwasher finished (we have a dishwasher!)
I would have waited till the morning before washing dishes as the strange
noise in the dark would be unsettling to baby dogs, but I was fast asleep by
then. I did have
a vague plan to get up promptly this morning having had a tip-off that there
would be new geocaches in Wye, but I didn’t emerge from my pit until an hour
after they’d gone live. And in the world of being the first one to unearth a
new Tupperware pot, an hour is an eternity. Instead
I took the puppies round the garden (as I do) and then failed to stop
them eating the bathroom’s doorstop as I had a shave. I made
toast and had a little look at the Internet. Ukraine won the Eurovision Song
Contest that was on last night… and several people were pretending to be
surprised about it on Facebook. We didn’t watch Eurovision last night; I’ve
never seen the attraction. But then I’ve never understood the attraction of
football or the Olympics or anything else that the masses lap up either. Apparently the UK came second (Note I say “The UK” and
not “we”) with a song I have still to hear. And there
was a lot of consternation being expressed on one of the local Facebook
pages. Yet another European lorry has been seen dangerously tail-ending other
road users on the M20. This happens all the time; and I’ve had it happen to
me. If you are obeying the speed limit on the dual carriageway bit of “Operation
Brock” and a foreign lorry wants to go faster, they really do drive
dangerously close up behind you, flashing their
lights and blasting on their hooters. They get away with this partly because
Kent Police are demonstrably utterly disinterested in doing anything (I’ve
ranted about this ad nauseum in the past), and partly because the cameras
on the automatic number plate recognition cameras don’t work on non-UK number
plates. It seems
odd that the ones in Europe have no trouble recognising UK number plates… As I
scoffed toast “er indoors TM” had a fight with the new oven
(we have an oven too!) She claimed you need a degree to be able to
operate the thing. I’ve got some of those but kept quiet. After a lot of
swearing we (she) discovered that it doesn’t start working until you
close the door. And then I
had something of a shock. The puppies had been charging round the living room
playing their rather vigorous version of “chase” when Bailey leapt on
to the sofa with me, hotly pursued by Morgan. Both puppies can now jump onto
the sofa unaided. I then took
the big dogs out. We went to the park where it looked like there was a “Tidy
Up The Park” session going on. There was nothing on the “Friends of
Victoria Park” Facebook page about it, but (being totally racist)
it did look like everyone involved was part of the big local Nepalese
community. Had they organised something? We had a
good walk… mostly. As we walked I called the dogs
away from another dog sporting a bright yellow harness. The woman with the
dog wanted to know what my f…ing problem was. I
explained that with such a bright yellow harness, it was clearly her dog with
the f…ing problem. After a little f…ing it turned out that this woman had never heard of the
“Yellow
Dog Project” in which a dog wearing something bright yellow
is a sign to give it space. The woman with
the fake yellow dog then remarked that she wondered why everyone seemed to
avoid her… I then ran
out the hose pipe to top up the fish pond, and with
that topped up I finished off loading up the car for tomorrow’s tip run… once
I’d found where I’d left it. Once home we watched last week’s episode of “Lego
Masters: USA” which we paused half way through.
As we were watching I was idly stroking Treacle when I felt something. She
had a tick. That soon came out, and all four dogs were then given the third
degree. No more ticks were found… I suppose bearing in mind how much they go
out and about, the surprise is that we’ve not had more… |
|
16 May 2022 (Monday)
- Rostered Day Off
I slept well, as did the puppies despite me
having a trip to the loo in the small hours. I’ve worked out that if I go to
the loo whilst it is still dark, they don’t think it is time to get up. I finally did get up when my phone told me to
“get your arse out of its pit” at seven o’clock, and
spent ten minutes chivvying puppies round the garden in the desperate hope
that they would “unload”. They unloaded. Pausing only briefly to continue eating the
bathroom doorstop, the puppies got settled back down, and I drove a car-full
of cardboard, polystyrene packaging and black sacks
of rubbish to the tip. The tip had attracted its usual quota of idiots…
whereas most people take rubbish straight from their car to the appropriate
bin, one particularly stupid woman was arranging all of her rubbish in a nice
little display around her car, and was getting more
and more frustrated as everyone else was tripping over and through it. As I drove home the pundits on the radio were
interviewing the head honcho of Ofgem
who was explaining that Ofgem don’t set the prices of gas and leccie; they just make sure that the companies selling it
do so at a fair price. It was a shame that the chap was utterly unable to say
what a fair price was, or to outline the criteria by which Ofgem determine
this fair price. Once home I made toast, then we moved
everything back to being in the way so that the nice man would have space to
continue sorting the kitchen. I made some toast and coffee which I scoffed (having
wedged myself between table and sofa) whilst peering into the Internet.
It was still there and was much the same as ever. Today’s amazingly trivial
squabble was in one of the Hastings-related Facebook groups in which people
were pretending to be offended that Rolf Harris had appeared in the local
theatre fifty years ago. I had some emails telling me that geocaches
I’d hidden have been found, and ones of mine which had been marked as missing
had also now been found. Either they weren’t missing at all, or someone’s
done me the favour of replacing them. Both alternatives are good. I then took the puppies to the vets. Morgan
is now five point one kilogrammes and Bailey is two point five. Morgan’s
weight gain wasn’t really a surprise, but I was pleased to find Bailey had
put on weight. The nice nurse seemed happy with their progress, and I took them
home and did a dog swap. Leaving “er indoors TM”
with the babies I took the bigger dogs up to Kings Wood where we walked for
miles (I estimate about seven) investigating the paths that previously
we’ve just walked past. As we walked we saw a
buzzard swooping ridiculously low along one of the paths, and on hearing what
really did sound like a double-decker bus driving through the undergrowth we
saw a herd of deer running past; not twenty yards from us. If only I’d got my
camera out quicker. And then I had a moment of both pride and
amazement when some random woman walked past with what I can only describe as
“the hounds from hell” and she commented on how well-behaved Treacle
and Pogo were. After three hours we were back at the car
park. We came home and fed the fish and then had a few minutes of “dog
school”. Morgan is mastering coming to the sound of the whistle; Bailey
seems to be following Treacle’s lead and mostly doing whatever the strange
voices in her head prompt her to do. If she copies Treacle and follows her
brother like a lost lamb, all will be well. I then spent much of the rest of the
afternoon either reading “Jeeves and Wooster”, sleeping, or trying to
video the myriad birds that were having a
wash in the pond’s splash pool. “er indoors TM” has gone bowling.
The car is loaded up with yet another load of rubbish for yet another tip
run. The dogs are all asleep. I wonder how long this sleep will last… |
|
17 May 2022 (Tuesday)
- Before the Late Shift
When I went to bed last night
I had six hundred and twenty-two friends on Facebook. This morning I had six
hundred and twenty-one. Overnight someone decided that they didn’t love me any more. I wonder who that was. I used Facebook to send out a birthday wish
to someone who does still love me, then had a little look to see what I’d
missed overnight. There was a minor whinge on one of the geocaching puzzle
pages in which someone couldn’t solve what seemed to be a simple puzzle. I
pointed out that you aren't supposed to see what the solution is.. You really do just randomly try absolutely everything
until by chance you hit on whatever was going through the head of the person
who set the puzzle at that moment. Which is why I hate puzzle caches. People
really do try to outdo each other with the most ridiculously convoluted
conundrums. For example you
might see a puzzle with a description about dog food. You might try every
possible answer relating to dog food, but get
nowhere. However give it some (what is described
as) logical thought. Dog food… Dogs are descended from wolves… Wolves
howl at the moon… The puzzle is actually about the
numbers of the various Apollo missions of fifty years ago. Why do people put out such insoluble puzzles
– the who thing is supposed to be a bit of fun (isn’t it?). There are
those who disagree with me… but not one of these people have solved the puzzle cache I put out specifically to
illustrate this point. I took the dogs to the park. We would have
gone to Orlestone, but the car was full of tip
rubbish. We had a good walk; marred only by the glares of the leaded-dog
community. The dog walkers of Viccie Park are fast
forming into two distinct and mutually exclusive sets. there are those who
let their dogs run off of the leads, and those who
don't. Those who don't quite openly judge those who let their dogs run,
whilst keeping their dogs on extending leads which spool out to ten yards and
tangle and trip anyone and everyone in that radius. With dogs walked we came home, and I went out
into the garden to see what the puppies were up to. They were both far closer
to the pond than they every usually go on their own, both pacing up to and
jumping back from some large orange thing. Initially I thought they'd stolen
some vital part of the kitchen installation equipment, but it was a fish. One
of the Koi had jumped out of the pond. It looked dead, but when Morgan nudged
it, it gave a rather pathetic twitch. I popped it back into the pond, and swirled it to and fro
so water flowed through its gills (the piscine equivalent of the kiss of
life). After a couple of minutes the fish seemed
to revive, and swam off. I wonder if it will survive? I left dogs and fish under the
supervision of “er indoors TM” and went round to the
tip where I unloaded all my tat... even if I did get charged four quid to get
rid of the old sink. The chap at the tip had a credit card machine,
and wouldn't unlock the appropriate skip unless I paid four quid. I've
got some bags of hard core and tiles to get rid of; the bloke at the tip
wants four quid for each bag. He's having a laugh. From there I drove up to Ulcombe
church to get the information for two puzzle geocaches. Sensible ones.
I found the grave and the war memorial that I needed and got the
numbers, and then drove into Coxheath for more
geo-nonsense (as I do before work). As I drove I was
listening to "Women's Hour" on the radio which (among
other things) featured an interview with some lesbian footballer for no
reason that I could fathom other than any potential shock value. This woman
was talking about how much public interest there had been in last Saturday's
women's football cup final; she claimed it was because of all the "advertisingment" and continued going on about
the "advertisingment". I thought
it rather cruel of the show's producers to have brought this woman on only to
make an idiot of herself on national radio because she couldn't pronounce the
word "advertisement". I got to work, eventually found somewhere to
park... and as always when on the late shift the best bit of the day was over
and done with by noon... even though I didn’t get home till after ten
o’clock. |
|
18 May 2022
(Wednesday) - Bit Dull, Bit Tired
As I took the puppies out to the back garden
this morning I could hear not-so-nice-next-door unlocking at least
half a dozen locks on her back door. Having unlocked all the locks she then stepped into the back garden and immediately
locked the door behind her. She then did whatever it was she went into the
garden to do (which didn’t take long at all), then unlocked all the
locks, went back in again and locked them all again. About ten to fifteen
seconds later (as I was waiting for the puppies to stop scrapping and
start pooping) so I heard all the locks again. She came out, locked all
the locks behind her, fiddled about for less than a minutes, unlocked them
all again, and went back inside again. And as I waited for the puppies to do their thing she did this three or four more times. She does make me laugh;
who does she think wants to get in to her house. And bearing in mind that
there is impenetrable overgrowth all over the high fences round her garden
how does she think anyone can get to her back door? Whilst I was out listening to the sound or
back doors being continually locked and unlocked I
had a look at the pond. The fish which nearly had his chips yesterday seemed
to be OK; swimming about with all his pals. Being unable to find either kettle or toaster
I thought I'd get brekkie at work. I walked the epic mission to where I'd
left my car (two streets away). As I walked I
watched an idiot jogger. With those huge headphones that block out all sound
other than what he was listening to I watched him run right in front of a car
without realising that he'd done so, and a few seconds later he ran out in
front of my car. I blasted my hooter (which he heard) and he seemed
surprised to realise he was in the middle of the road inches from having been
run over. I drove up some rather busy roads this
morning. As I drove the pundits on the radio were rather depressing. With the
Ukrainian situation worsening for both sides and inflation having reached a
forty-year high, the world seemed particularly bleak today. Perhaps that was
why I struggled to get any enthusiasm for work today. Despite finding a
rather interesting and particularly obscure case (a sub-group of blood
group “A”), for much of the day I really couldn't be arsed.
I don’t dislike my job, but I’m getting more and more fed up with having to do
it. If inflation wasn’t at a lifetime’s high I would
have retired this morning. There was something of a minor victory as I
came home; I was glad to see the coast-bound bit of "Operation Brock"
was in use. Last night it wasn't and I'd had to
drive along the bit that the lorries use... at only thirty miles per hour for
twenty miles. This evening I could go at fifty miles per hour. Only twenty
miles an hour slower than I might have done, and I was only quarter of an
hour later home than I might have been. With the kitchen getting ever closer to
completion “er indoors TM” was able to use it to incinerate
a bit of scran for our tea. There’s no denying that the new oven is a tad
keen. I expect she’ll get the hang of it. I hope so; if I have
to get the hang of it, I shall put the thing on eBay and go up the
KFC. I feel surprisingly worn out… I wonder why.
It’s not like I’ve done much today really… |
|
19 May 2022
(Thursday) - On The Wrong Motorway Brigde
With storms forecast for last night I was
rather worried that the puppies might be frightened, so I was listening out
for their cries during the night. I heard some whimpering at half past two,
but by the time I'd got my slippers on they had settled again. Having got up
to get my slippers on I tripped over Pogo who wanted to get on to the bed. I
made the mistake of helping him up; he immediately hogged my spot. I then
spent five hours fighting him for bed space. I later remarked to “er indoors TM”
about the puppies crying. She laughed and said she'd been up with them until
two o'clock because they had been upset by the storms that I slept
through. Despite the kitchen getting closer and closer
to being finished, the kettle and toaster were still missing this morning, so
once the puppies had been tiddled I set off to work without any brekkie. As I drove up the motorway the pundits on the
radio were talking about Prince Charles who is on a trip round Canada where
he has been asked to take back a message to the Queen asking her to
formally apologize for the ‘assimilation and genocide’ of the
native people. That's a cheek, isn't it? When I took scouts
to Canada I heard so much racial abuse and hatred
directed at the native population... and that was from the local scout
leaders. If they are so nasty to the indigenous people, what must the average
Canadian think of them? And they want the Queen (of all people) to say
sorry? As I drove the rain got worse and worse,
despite the weather forecast saying what a bright day we were having. I've
commented before on what a racket being a weather forecaster must be. Work was a tad different today; I spent the
day in training learning how to operate a new blood testing machine we are
getting. I learned loads, and it beat working. I came home to find the kitchen is seriously
nearing completion. It looks like there’s still loads to be done, but I am
reliably informed there’s not more than a few days’ work left. Let’s hope so;
what’s been done looks good, but I have to say I’m getting fed up with living
in uproar. We’ve effectively been camping in the living room for three weeks
now. Meanwhile some unmoral young lady is flashing
her jubblies at motorists on the Thanet Way… I
wonder if she might take a day trip to the M20? It would certainly liven up “Operation
Brock”. |
|
20 May 2022 (Friday)
- Diversity Day
I woke in a cold sweat at three o'clock, and
with little choice I braved going downstairs to the loo. Moving "as
silently as a carrot" (as I have heard it described) I got to
the loo and back without waking the puppies, and
reprised this feat three hours later when going for a shave. However the noise of my shaving woke the babies, and I
took them outside for a successful morning's "emptying". Usually I try not to wake “er indoors TM”
and the bigger dogs when I get dressed, but the babies have figured out how
to get up the stairs as quick as lightening. And once they've reached the
bedroom both Treacle and Pogo growl their disapproval. Leaving “er
indoors TM” in "dog central" I started the
epic walk to wherever it was that I'd left my car yesterday. Again with no functional
kitchen I needed to buy a sandwich; I thought I'd try the co-op this morning.
There were two members of staff there today; both
radiating their utter disinterest. I spent far more with them than I have
done recently in the works M&S. And so up the motorway. As I drove there was
a lot of talk on the radio about various festivals taking place across the
country. There was talk at work yesterday about sci-fi conventions. Both of these sorts of events sadly seem to have gone the
same way. What used to be great fun events at which you turned up and joined
in are now staged entertainment for which you pay a frankly ridiculous
admission fee months in advance. Tickets to comic con are over thirty quid
for a day. The old LAT-con events (at the University of London) were
free - just turn up and join in. The woman being interviewed was
talking about the "economics of the festival market" and in
that phrase she summed up where the whole thing has gone wrong. There was also talk about how the Prime
Minister is re-organising
the staffing of 10 Downing Street. Ostensibly to increase efficiency, the
sensible money thinks he is looking for a scapegoat for the "Partygate" affair. The pundits on the radio
this morning made the observation that Boris Johnson
has four times more people employed in 10 Downing Street than Margaret
Thatcher had. Eventually getting past the idiot driving at
twenty miles per hour in a fifty miles per hour zone (!) I got to work
for the early shift. Last Friday I whinged that I’d missed the diversity day
and all the food that went with it; diversity day was today. And there was
quite a bit of diverse food to be had as well. Am I being undiverse
in saying that I stuck to the pork scratchings, sausage rolls and Victoria
sponge and judged those who didn’t like pork scratchings? The training went on a little longer than I
would have liked; I was half an hour late getting out. I came home, and in a
fit of foolish bravado took all four dogs down to Orlestone
Woods. My first walk on my own with all four off the leads went rather well
really. Treacle and Pogo are old hands at being off the lead. Morgan followed
Treacle and Pogo, and Bailey followed Morgan. With walk walked we came home for a wash.
Some of us had picked up more mud than others. The nice kitchen man is
getting ever closer to completion and worked rather late this evening. But by
the time he was done it was too late to mess about cooking so (once we’d
moved stuff out of the way of the telly) “er indoors TM”
went to the fish and chip shop to get something to scoff whilst watching last
week’s episode of “Lego Masters: USA”. It was rather good… |
|
21 May 2022
(Saturday) - Rather Busy
I was a tad pissed off as I peered into Facebook this morning. Back in
the day whenever there was any sort of event taking place in whatever hobby (be
it geocaching, kite flying, fishing, oil painting, beer drinking, scouting,
snake herding, duck racing or whatever) someone or other (very often
me) would spread word of this event and arrange for a group to go up to
whatever event it was. A couple of years ago I organised a very good trip to
the sea forts in the Thames estuary. Over the last few years
I’ve arranged all sorts of trips to London. Before that loads of us would go
to beer festivals and kite festivals all over the place. We would go to
sci-fi conventions that weren’t too far away. Nowadays one or two
people go off to these events on their own and tell everyone else what
they’ve missed after the event. This morning I found out that there was a
humungous geocaching event in Prague last weekend. I would be wrong in saying
it was a well-kept secret, but I certainly had no idea it was taking place.
Would I have gone to it had I known? It would have involved a serious
re-organisation of my work rota… but it would have been good to have had the
option. It is less than a
week since I was last asked when I will next be organising a geocaching
outing somewhere or other… And I’ve been asked this quite a few times over
the last couple of months. I’m beginning to take this personally… Everyone
wants to come with me when I organise something but
no one wants me to go with them when they organise something. Am I getting (more)
paranoid? The plan for today
had been more kitchen fitting, but with that postponed we were at something
of a loose end. So I hung out washing, set more
going, and started a mini tidy-up of the back garden in readiness for Monday’
tip run. Even more carboard and polystyrene to go, old wiring, the old light
fitting, one or two now-poggered power sockets, and
endless old kitchen floor tiles all for the tip. Or so I thought. As I carried
the umpteenth load into the front garden I couldn’t
believe my eyes. Some bloke was in the front garden quite openly rummaging
through my rubbish bags. On seeing me he asked if I was really throwing way
the old floor tiles. Bearing in mind they are all split and stained and fit
only for the bin I thought that was rather obvious. The bloke asked if he
could have them and took them all away with a rather self-satisfied air. If anyone else would
like to rummage through my dustbin, please feel free. It will save me a trip
to the tip… The dogs needed a
walk, but mid-day at the weekend isn’t the best day to go to the woods (Kings
or Orlestone). But I had a mini stroke of
genius. A couple of days ago a set of Adventure lab caches went live at
Camber. Rather than going to points of interest In a town or village, these
ones take you on an hour’s walk across Romney Marsh. As an idea for an
Adventure Lab it was a stroke of genius. And to be
fair it would have been a really good walk if we
hadn’t had four dogs in tow. Whilst the humans (me and “er indoors TM”)
got to explore new territory, the ground was smothered in cow and sheep poo,
and that which the dogs didn’t eat, they rolled in. With walk walked we
came home for baths and quite spectacular dire-rear.
Pogo’s rear was particularly dire. I mention this in
case any of my loyal readers might be tempted to get more dogs than sense.
Those who have never had a dog have this picture-postcard idea of the loving
perfect “man’s best friend which can do no wrong”, Reality is rather
different… As “er indoors TM”
scrubbed dung from dogs I loaded up cardboard and polystyrene into the car in
readiness for the tip run booked for on the way home from work on Monday
morning. We’ve also got an old door to go to the tip. That won’t fit in my
car; I shall have to saw that up at some point. Not today though. I then had a cuppa,
and both puppies wanted to sit with me. Both were soon snoring. Rather than
disturbing them, I sparked up my lap-top and brought the monthly accounts
tally up to date. I have an excel spreadsheet on which I account for every
penny I spend. Not because I’m mean (which I know I am) but because I
really do need it to keep track of what I spend. Take this last two weeks for
example. I guesstimated I’d spent between thirty-five and forty quid. When I
totalled it up it came to a shade under a hundred and forty-five pounds.
Which is *exactly* why I need to keep a tally. “er indoors TM” used the new oven to
boil up a rather good bit of cauliflower cheese, then went off to see “The
Full Monty”. I fed the dogs, and as they snored
I got the ironing board out… Then got two chairs back from the shed so that I
could put the ironed stuff somewhere… Then hunted high and low to find the
iron… I eventually spent
three hours ironing whilst watching episodes of “Orange is the New Black”.
Just as I finished ironing so the puppies woke up. They are now
scrapping on the sofa… I wish they’d have a bit more sleep. I could do with
some. |
|
22 May 2022 (Sunday)
- Sulking
This morning we did the monthly dog flea
treatment. Before we started we closed all the doors
and cornered the dogs; they hate having it done and always try to escape.
Just as we were about to start we spotted a tick in
Treacle’s ear. That’s two ticks in her in a week. With tick removed from ear, all four dogs
underwent inspection. Despite particularly grubby lugholes on Morgan, all
passed, and I spent brekkie looking up “ticks” on the Internet.
It seems they are on the increase in the UK because of the increase in deer
numbers… Deer… We saw loads of deer in Kings Wood last week, and we’ve seen
deer in Orlestone before. Is that where they are
getting the ticks from? And it seems that the monthly flea treatment doesn’t
affect ticks… I had a look at the rest of Facebook. A
friend was having a birthday. Finding himself going bald he’s taken to shaving
his entire head. I could do that… But then shaving just my face every morning
is enough arse-ache. I saw that someone whose name I didn’t
recognise had got married. On closer inspection it turned out that a
colleague had got married and had changed her name. That was a surprise. Mind
you with regularly being moved from one workplace to another and working
various odd hours it is difficult to keep up with what is going on. Mind you…
getting married? How did I miss that? I then mowed the lawn… something which is
easier said than done. And with lawn mowed I
trimmed back all the overgrowth poring over the knacked fence from not-so-nice-next
door. Their garden used to be quite pretty back
in the day, But since “nutty noodle” disappeared (it must be five
years since he was last seen) their garden has become a mess. I did offer
to replace that fence last year, but rather than replying, she just ranted
some incoherent gibberish. With garden tidied I hung out more washing,
then bagged up another load of rubbish for tomorrow’s tip run then we took
the dogs round to the park on what must have been one of the worst dog walks
ever. I suppose I should have known better; it is always a mistake to go to
the park after ten o’clock at the weekend. The normal people are always out
in force. If people, their dogs
and children have issues, why go out looking for confrontation? Let’s just
say that I managed to drag Pogo away from Thugbert
before Pogo got a good kicking, and leave it at
that. Once home I sorted the undercrackers that the
tumble drier had dried (which was very good of it!), and after a quick
bit of bread and cheese I went to bed for the afternoon where I slept on and
off in between dogs barking for no reason whatsoever. I’ve woken with a stinking headache; too much
sun whilst mowing the lawn and walking the dogs perhaps? “er indoors TM” is boiling up
dinner, and with that scoffed I shall be off to the night shift. I don’t mind
doing night shifts when it means I don’t miss much during the day time when I’m asleep, but (I have to admit) I
seriously resented having had a pretty much wasted day today… I shall be in a better mood tomorrow… |
|
23 May 2022 (Monday)
- Still Sulking
As I drove home from a rather good night
shift the pundits on the radio were interviewing Anneka
Rice who (forty years ago) was the face of Channel 4. Her programme “Challenge
Anneka” is returning
to the telly. Ironically it was the BBC who first announced the return of
what will be a Channel 5 show. Do you remember the show? What do you mean -
it was aired before you were born? The idea was that Anneka
Rice would turn up somewhere or other where there was a rather epic community
project that needed doing, and in the space of a few days she would achieve
the impossible with the help of whoever she could get to help. I always
remember the episode that aired on 20 October 1989. Anneka
Rice was just down the road in Tenterden at the Tenterden Town railway station where the people running
the Kent and East Sussex railway wanted her to lay four miles of railway
track from what was then the end of the line at Wittersham
Road down to Northiam. A formidable task indeed…
but who was that marching down the road…? A gullible public was expected to
believe that a battalion of the Royal Engineers were just randomly coming
past, and with absolutely nothing else to do with their time would be only
too happy to build the railway for her. I suppose there are some who really believed
this co-incidence wasn’t staged; over thirty years later I still feel that
this was an insult to my intelligence. I came home via the tip where I could have
unloaded a lot quicker had one of the tip operatives not wanted to inspect
the light fitting I was throwing away. Did it have a
bulb in it? No it didn’t. Was I sure? It was rather
obvious that there was no bulb in it, but the chap asking the questions had
to be sure, so he called his mate over to check out the patently obvious. Sometimes the tip staff can be helpful, and
sometimes they can be very difficult. Once home I went to bed for five hours,
waking intermittently by the sound of the rain on the window and the sound of
whatever drilling, sawing or general racket was going on in the kitchen. After five hours I could lay in bed no more so I got up and (despite the rain) took the
dogs out in batches. Smaller dogs got a “once-round-the-block”, then
bigger dogs got a walk up the road and a loop back home via the vets for tick
collars. As we walked down what was once the Black Alley
I couldn’t help but see loads of anti-vaccination slogans graffiti-ed all
over the place. The anti-vaccination brigade amaze
me. I am told that I should be open minded and that I need to understand how anti-vaxxers
feel to make sense of their actions… Take the anti-vax propaganda scrawled down
the Black Alley. To my mind it is factually wrong. However
to me a “fact” is a statement which has been proven to be true. Sadly,
to society at large a “fact” is an unsupported statement made up on
the spur of the moment to somehow give credence to whatever bollox is currently being spouted. Its veracity comes not
from any provable evidence but from how loudly it is shouted and on how many lamp-posts it is scrawled. This is one of the things which boils my piss about today’s society… the considered and researched
opinion of an educated person truly is of no more worth than the whim of a
half-wit. With walk walked I took the bigger dogs and
my lap-top upstairs away from the commotion of kitchen work. Dogs get in the
way, and the kitchen work seemed to spread across much of the living room. I set a puzzle cache for the fraternity of
the Hunters of Tupperware. Named “To
Illustrate A Contention” it will or will not prove how few people
bother with these puzzles. And I then wrote up CPD (because I have to!), with Pogo and Treacle alternately snoring
or squeaking that they wanted to go make nuisances of themselves downstairs. “er indoors TM” went bowling, and
the kitchen work for today was declared “finished” an hour later
shortly before nine o’clock… Yesterday was a wasted day and today was
sadly much the same… |
|
24 May 2022 (Tuesday)
- Painted Dogs & Incinerated Chips
I slept well; a night shift does that for me,
but I still woke half an hour before the alarm was due to go off. I managed
to sneak to the bathroom without waking the puppies, and then had quite a
serious mission. I'm not quite sure how I managed it
but I managed to forget to have a shave yesterday, and scraping off two days'
worth without severely lacerating myself took some doing. I didn't make brekkie. I could see where the
kettle and toaster had been stacked up, but I couldn't be arsed
to dig them out. instead (seeing the puppies were now awake) I let
them out of their crate. We had a little fuss and then both ran to the back
door. I got them both into the garden where they both "did things".
It's a very good sign that they both run to the back door to go out, but we
still have little "accidents". It is rather sad that one of the highlights
of my life is tiddles and poops that aren't inside the house. Leaving “er indoors TM”
snoring with all four dogs I set off to work. The pundits on the radio were
trying to make mischief out of the latest
photos of the Prime Minster having parties during lockdown, but
weren't achieving anything. For all that our Prime Minister is a bit of a twit,
he is clearly a bomb-proof bit of a twit who can do no wrong in the eyes of
the public. As Viz magazine (of all people) pointed out earlier this
week, he really could go on live TV wiping his arse
on the Turin shroud and the masses would still applaud him. I got to work where I got a croissant for
brekkie (from the works M&S) and as I had my brekkie I peered into
the Internet. That geocache I created yesterday had gone live, and one person
had solved the puzzle, but hadn't gone chasing to be first to find. I wonder
who that person was. I'd like to think it was the geo-Fed who had published
it, making sure that the checker worked. I saw five friends had a birthday today; all
five got the birthday video posted to their Facebook profiles. And the selfie I'd posted to Facebook last
night of me and Pogo had got a lot of "likes". I got on with work. It wasn’t an arduous day
today. I spent much of the day looking out the window at the bright day and
planning a dog walk round the woods, and five minutes before I left work so the thunderstorm hit. It turned out the storm had come up to
Maidstone from Ashford, and so although I got home to find the rain had
stopped, everywhere was wet. We didn’t go to the woods. Instead
I took the bigger dogs round the local streets where we met an ex-colleague
with whom I chatted for ages catching up on gossip. We came home to find the last of the kitchen
work being done. Ironic that on the last day both of the
boys (Morgan and Pogo) should get covered in paint, but there
it is. With kitchen finally finished (Hoo-bloody-rah!) “er indoors TM”
boiled up some dinner. The new cooker seems to have a hatred of chips;
seemingly wanting to incinerate them, but I suspect this is a phase it will
get over. Let’s hope so… |
|
25 May 2022
(Wednesday) - New Kitchen
In the past I used to be very disparaging
about the old toaster which although was (supposedly) a work of art,
was unable to do more than slightly warm the bread. As part of our all-new kitchen we have a new toaster. This one (like Moxey from “Auf Wiedershen Pet”)
has convictions for arson. Not only was the toast it created burned to a
crisp, the thing also emitted a smell of burning
plastic from where I think it tried to incinerate itself along with the
toast. But having toast was something of a novelty
this morning. I spread the last of the jam on it, and once the puppies settled I watched half an episode of “Orange is
the New Black”. As the show goes on there is a lot less being flopped
out, which is a result for puritans everywhere. I then loaded the new dishwasher, set it
going (which took some doing) and leaving the puppies with “er
indoors TM” I set off. Firstly to the bin up the
road to dispose of a dead koi; the fish which jumped out of the pond last
week jumped out again yesterday, and this time didn’t survive. I’m reliably
informed it might have done had the puppies not thought it was some sort of
toy. As I drove to work there was an interview on
the radio with the head honcho of Severn Trent Water who have just paid their
shareholders a rather good dividend. The pundits on that radio were giving
her a hard time because the company is a profit-making company and not a
charitable organisation, and they seemed to gloss over the fact that Severn
Trent are doing their best to help those
in need. Instead they made great show of how
this head honcho gets paid over two million quid a year; thirteen times what
the Prime Minister gets. And if I was in any doubt about my career
choice there was then an interview with one of the leading lights in the
railway workers’ union. When challenged about why the average railway worker
ears fifteen thousand pounds a year more than the average hospital worker, he
became rather reticent. Work was rather hard work today. Perhaps I
was still tired from Sunday’s night shift. Perhaps I was thinking I should
work on the railways or the water board. But I wasn’t feeling it at all today
and was rather glad when home time came. As I have said many times before I
don’t dislike my job, but if I had my time again, knowing what I know now I
would work for a profit, and would work somewhere that periodically puts up a
“closed” sign. I came home to find the first fruit of my
loin and Cheryl visiting. They seemed rather impressed with the new kitchen (and
with the puppies too). Am I impressed with the new kitchen? I suppose it looks nice, but it wasn’t cheap,
and took (seemingly) ages. I expect I’ll get used to it… but I don’t
do change very well. Some bloke’s just
banged on the front door – can he have the old kitchen door I was planning to
take to the tip tomorrow? And Morgan has just crapped
on the carpet. |
|
26 May 2022
(Thursday) - Late Shift
I had a bit of a lie-in, but the puppies woke me
at half past seven; both wanting to come up on to the bed. I took that as my
cue to get up. Finding the knob on the toaster I dialled it down somewhat and
had toast (rather than charcoal) for brekkie. There was a minor hiatus
as I clouted my head on the extractor fan thingy… I never liked the look of
it, but “er indoors TM” wanted it and I just agreed to it
like I agreed to everything about the new kitchen. Looking back
I think that this acquiescence in all things kitchen was probably a big
mistake. Morgan charged about the living room with “er
indoors TM” ‘s crochet as I scoffed toast and peered into the
Internet. It would seem I hadn’t missed much overnight. Mind you there was a photos in one of the Sussex groups I follow. A chap
named “John Walker” had gone missing. Looking at the photo he
looked rather like a “Johnnie Walker” with whom I went to school fifty
years ago. We shared a birthday, and he kept pet mice. Was it him? Three of
us at primary school shared a birthday… I’ve not seen Les for years either. I checked the weather forecast… despite it
telling me “rain coming”, the hourly breakdown of the day gave only a
one per cent chance of rain all morning, with the highest probability of rain
being seven per cent at nine o’clock this evening. I took a chance, and
took all four dogs down to the woods where we had a reasonable walk. Bailey
would whimper and whinge all the time she wasn’t actively taking part in a rough-and-tumble
or a chase game. As we walked we met one other dog –
the huge fluffy pup we meet from time to time. Both Pogo and Bailey barked at
him, and he took no notice. The only problem we had was right at the end of
the walk when both Bailey and Morgan refused to come to be loaded into the
car. They’d been as good as gold up till then – did they want to carry on
walking? And so home. I spent ten minutes loading all the crap from the front garden into the car for another tip
run. Mostly cardboard and wood, but there were also six carrier bags of
assorted rubbish. Much as I like my (relatively) new car, it doesn’t
have the carrying capacity that previous cars have had. And with car loaded I ran round the living room
with the Hoover. You’d be amazed how much mess is generated by small dogs
chewing on that which is supposed to be in the car and going to the tip. And talking of the tip, with the dogs settled,
that’s where I went. There was a minor fracas kicking off when I got there.
Have you ever been to the tip? The trick is that when you get there you
immediately chuck some cardboard into the cardboard skip, and some planks
into the wood skip. This gives the staff the impression that you know what
you are doing and they leave you alone. The staff
were having a squabble with some chap who was dumping absolutely everything
into the general household and was shouting at the tip operatives that it all
come out of his household, so that was where it went, be it wood, electrical,
metal or whatever. Pausing briefly to get some petrol I went in to a frankly horrendous late shift, and when it was
over I found the (so-called) motorway had a thirty miles per hour
speed limit. |
|
27 May 2022 (Friday)
- Another Late Shift
As I scoffed my toast and peered into the Internet I found myself wondering if today was “post a
motivational twee meme day”. “There is no need to have it all – just
make the most of what you have”. “Silence your inner critic”. “Today
is your day”. I am told that some people really do find this twaddle inspiring
and helpful. I’ll just make the observation that (in
my experience) those who advocate making lemonade when life gives you
lemons have rarely (if ever) been given a lemon by life. I saw an ex-cub scout had a birthday today.
He was twenty-six… Twenty-six!!! Where do the years go? I remember him (and
his little sister); in my mind they are both ten years old. I took the dogs down to the woods where we
had a good walk, probably helped by not seeing anyone else at all. That
doesn’t do much for sociaisation, but it does
wonders for my nerves. As we walked I watched the
dynamics of the dogs. More and more Morgan is trying to join in with what the
bigger dogs are doing. Bailey tries to follow, but she is rather small. As we drove home the paralympic swimmer Ellie
Simmonds was on Desert Island Discs. She was saying that her choices of music
weren’t ones she actually liked very much, but found
inspiring… I found them frankly dire. I was reminded of twee memes. Having avoided all mud, swamps
and mire we came home clean, and didn’t need any baths. I did another
negative COVID test, then sat on the sofa with four sleeping dogs as I
prepared “Hannah” for tomorrow, and then watched an episode of “Orange
is the New Black” before sneaking off to work. I thought I'd get some lunch... In retrospect
I should have just gone hungry. The co-op car park was rammed, and having discovered it was rammed I wasted ten
minutes trying to get out. As I was driving past
I thought I might try Waitrose... I wasn't spending four quid on a a frankly scabby-looking sarnie
so I gave up, and as I walked out so all the hoity-toity made no secret that
they were looking down on me. I then had this idea about going to the
bakery in Lenham... Once I'd negotiated the mile-long (at
least) queue caused by the traffic lights I then found myself behind a
funeral cortege for another mile. I eventually got to Lenham
where the bakery told me they didn't do sandwiches (in a f... off fatso
tone of voice). By now time was running out so I went into the village
shop where the chap behind the counter was having a great time pretending he was unable to understand anything said to
him by any of the customers. I really should have stuck with Sainsburys. And so to work where
the day got better as it went on. But (it has to
be said) I've had better days. Ones when Morgan didn’t piddle on the
sofa… |
|
28 May 2022
(Saturday) - Biddenden
I slept till after eight o’clock this
morning. I’ve been feeling rather exhausted lately. Too many late shifts
perhaps? I took the puppies round the garden where we
tiddled, but didn’t poop, and the puppies then sulked when they had to come
into the bathroom with me whilst I shaved; they weren’t going into carpeted
areas unsupervised whilst “still loaded”. I made toast and had a look at the Internet.
Not that I would be going, but I was sad to see that this year’s Brighton
Kite Festival had been cancelled. Apparently the
membership decided to cancel at their AGM as there wasn’t enough people
willing to offer help and support for the event. Such a shame there’s not
more input from the club’s members… Mind you there never was.
Ten years ago much of the help and support for a
Brighton-based club used to come from miles away. We don’t do a two-hour
journey to get there anymore. Have others stopped too? I miss the days of Brighton Kite Festival. We got ourselves and the dogs together and
set off to Biddenden where we met Karl, Tracey and Charlotte for a little walk. A series of
geocaches had gone live in the Biddenden area some
time ago and we’d spent the last year thinking about going out there. A
couple of weeks ago I drove out to the suggested parking and saw it was far
better in reality than it appeared on Google Street View, and so today we
thought it might make a good short walk for the puppies. And it did. As a
walk for small dogs it did the job, Despite the
footpaths being rather vague in places we found our way around without too
many problems (even if we did have to carry the dogs through the stinging
nettles at one point). It was a rather pretty walk with no farm animals
on the way. We stared in frank amazement at the parachutists dropping through
the sky. And the dogs were able to run free for most of the route. We walked two and three quarter miles in just under two hours, it
wore the hounds out and it built up an appetite. I
took a few photos as we walked. However geocache-wise I must
admit to an amount of disappointment. The series was billed as being unusual
and home-made caches, and on reading the previous “found it” logs I
approached with high hopes. Sadly I was
reminded of a cache at which I was First
to Find on 16 August 2014. That one was a bird box which was opened by
fiddling about with the perch, and was already broken when I found it, and I
was also reminded of a similar series in Maidstone which I walked with “er
indoors TM” on 20 December 2014 when I wrote “We made our
way back to the car via five other geocaches. All of which looked to have
been good in their day, but all of which seem to have suffered from the
passing of time... This is the trouble with so-called "clever"
caches; they are fragile and break.” I think this was possibly the case today.
Those of the caches that were home-made did seem rather worn. The paper log
of one of them was wet. One of them was a film pot laying on the ground
with what we thought was the home-made cover laying on the ground some yards
up the path (we took the liberty of re-assembling it how we thought it
should have been).. There are those who sneer at the film pots
that I put under rocks, but unless you are prepared to be doing maintenance
runs on a very regular basis these “clever caches” are going to break. With walk walked we drove down to the Three
Chimneys. I can’t remember how long it has been since I last visited, but
with beer poured straight from the barrel and rather good food I can’t
recommend the place highly enough. It was a shame that once the dogs had had
their rice the puppies had to bark quite so much, but there it was. We had a
rather good afternoon in the sunshine and had a very good plate of dinner
washed down by three pints of Goacher’s best and
four large glasses of port. We would have stayed longer had rain not stopped
play… Rain… Despite the BBC’s weather app claiming only a two per cent chance
of rain when we said our goodbyes. Once home “er indoors TM”
gave Bailey a bath to wash off whatever foul stuff she’d rolled in, but there
was a minor disaster as the water pressure suddenly fell to
non-existent. Did we have a water leak? I could find no leak anywhere, but
the water to the upstairs tank was noisily pouring in to
it. Had the toilet done its thing again where it keeps pouring water down the
pan until you fiddle with the mechanism to stop it and drained the tank? I fiddled with the mechanism and the toiled
stopped pouring water down the pan. It seems fixed… is it? Time will tell –
it always does… I then slept for much of the remainder of the
day. Not surprising really. |
29 May 2022
(Sunday) - Lazy Day
With water
pressure re-established (I wonder what did happen yesterday?) I set the
washing machine loose on T shirts and scoffed toast and coffee as I peered
into Facebook. Desperately hoping to see something interesting that friends
might have done yesterday, I was instead deluged with no end of poorly
written adverts for stuff in which I have no interest whatsoever. And I
wouldn’t ever answer most of those adverts as (call me elitist if you will)
I have to wonder just who is putting out these
things. Take the very first advert I read: “GRASS CUTTING GET UR FREE
QUOTES TODAY on me thanks”. When you type this on your lap-top the
mis-spelled words are underlined in read, and the grammatical nonsense is
underlined in blue. If you do it on the phone then
the spell-checker kicks in there too. I’ve been told off about my attitude in
this before, but as far as I am concerned poor spelling and poor grammar is a
sign of a rush job, and do I want someone who can’t be bothered to take two
seconds to look at a spell-check to do a paid job for me? And then
Bailey sicked up all the poop I didn’t see her eating when we’d gone out
earlier. Whilst the
washing machine worked its wonders on a second load
I made sure the dogs were inside, ran out the hose pipe, lifted the manhole
cover and cleaned out the fish pond filter. It was as well that I did – it was
rather grungy. And with all the fish poo hosed down the drain I hung out
washing, mowed the lawn, then scared up yet another carful of rubbish for yet
another tip run. And then hurriedly got all the washing back inside as the
rain started. “er indoors
TM” went off to B&Q; I stayed on the sofa. With
three dogs asleep on me I didn’t like to move them. So
I took two minutes to do as I’d been asked and add my preferred pronouns to my LinkedIn profile. Rather
than “he/his” (which was too obvious) I went with “hatstand/fusebox” for the simple reason that I could. (preferred
pronouns? Seriously?) I then
spent an hour or so in NeverWinter until “er
indoors TM” came home. She’d bought some really expensive
masking tape which wouldn’t rip the paintwork off when removed,
and used it to rip a great big hole in the new paintwork on the wall
that was only done a week or so ago whilst doing the doorframe. I thought
about suggesting she could have put some on Morgan to stop him getting
covered in paint (again), but by the time I’d plucked up the courage
to do so, it was too late. As she painted I watched
the classic “Doctor Who and the Daleks” films on the telly. After a
while I realised the puppies were quiet. Too quiet. I looked over and one of
them had gone out to the yard, pulled a plant out of its pot, dragged plant (and
soil ball) past “er indoors TM” (who was still
painting) and onto the living room carpet where they had destroyed it. Once we’d cleared the mess “er indoors TM”
boiled up a rather good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching the
final of “Lego Masters: USA” which was rather good. |
|
30 May 2022 (Monday)
- Front Left Legs
Treacle woke me when she came up to bed last
night by sitting on my head, and then spend much of the night laying on top
of me like a ton weight. I eventually gave up trying to sleep, and once I'd
tiddled the puppies I sat with them watching an episode of "Orange is
the New Black" as they snored. I didn't look at the Internet this morning;
being on an early shift and having seen a lot of delays on the road recently
I set off to work promptly. My piss boiled as I listened to the pundits on
the radio talking about the
latest shooting of children in a school in America. It
would seem that absolutely no one is brave enough to tell the American
public that having everyone touting guns is a demonstrably stupid idea, and
the only things being offered to the bereaved are "thoughts and
prayers". And the bereaved are furious as they want something more
tangible... Have the God-fearing American public finally worked out that
"thoughts and prayers" achieve absolutely nothing? Fans of the Liverpool football team are up in
arms having
been tear-gassed in Paris over the weekend. There was apparently unrest
at some football match or other over the weekend when thousands of British
fans arrived with what the French claim were fake tickets. Were they fake?
Possibly. But from personal experience I know that the average Frenchman
hates the English with a passion and the average Parisian even more so (I
would never go back to Paris!) Am I being xenophobic in wondering if this
was too good an opportunity for the French to turn down? And sports centres up and down the country
are struggling to make ends meet as the soaring energy costs are making their
swimming pools too
expensive to run. Not that I've been swimming for years, but I can always
remember the swimming pools I went to being far too hot and humid. Turn the
heating down a bit, maybe? I got to work for the early shift and did my
bit. Sadly with the "Waddley Doodle"
song stuck in my head. Where did that come from? It is a rather annoying
little ditty that “Daddy’s Little Angel TM” used to
squall some twenty-five years ago, and which she claims she has now
forgotten. I'll remind her of it... An early start made for an early finish, but
Operation Brock made sure that the early finish didn’t make for an early
getting home. But once home I got the dogs onto their leads
and we went down to Orlestone Woods where we went
all the way round our shorter walk without seeing anyone else. Pogo and
Treacle had a good time playing. Morgan joined in with them quite a lot, and
Bailey spent much of the time at my ankles whinging. I wish she’d play with
the other dogs - once home she got stuck in all with the
rough-and-tumble that was going on. “er indoors TM” boiled up a rather good
bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching an episode of “SAS: Who
Dares Wins”. I must admit I don’t like the chap who has taken over from
Ant Middleton. Ant Middleton came over as a soldier, this new chap comes over
as an actor. As we scoffed and watched we also gently
mauled Morgan about. Having charged round the woods like a mad thing and then
come home to charge round the house and garden like a mad thing, he was
holding his front left leg awkwardly. He doesn’t seem to flinch when we touch
or fiddle with his leg, but he is definitely holding
it awkwardly. Has he twisted something? And Bailey has a scar at the top of her front
left leg… |
|
31 May 2022 (Tuesday)
- Jolly Good Fellows
I watched Morgan like a hawk this morning. He
still seemed to be walking awkwardly on his front left leg, but it wasn’t
causing him active pain. I’m thinking he’d strained it and needed to rest it,
but have you ever told a puppy to take it easy? I made toast, and
watched Morgan eating his brekkie. He seemed to tuck in very well – an iffy
leg hasn’t affected his appetite at all. As I scoffed
I peered into a very dull Facebook. Very dull indeed. I popped up the road to fetch the car closer
to home. As I went so a chap came down the road having a full-blown argument
with himself; screaming obscenities at the voices in
his head. On the one hand it is wrong that people this ill should be allowed
to walk the streets. On the other hand having seen
the wards in which these people are imprisoned, perhaps he’s better off out? I then got all four dogs and we drove down to
Orlestone. I thought about leaving Morgan at home,
but he wouldn’t understand the need for rest, so we did a very short loop and
came home. As we walked so his leg seemed to be a tad better… and then he was
limping again. And then it improved… And then it didn’t. We walked for ten
minutes just to say that we’d had an outing. As we drove home the pundits on the radio
were trying to scare the public about monkeypox. They
wheeled on an expert who was billed as being a Fellow of the Institute of
Biomedical Sciences. That was nice – I am one of those, you know (I really
am!). We got home just as the rain started, and I
loaded up the rubbish for the tip before it got too wet, then sat with the
dogs. They slept and I watched an episode of “Orange is the New Black”
as another negative COVID test incubated. And them before I could stop him
Morgan jumped off the sofa and set his leg off again. With the dogs settled I drove round to the
tip (yet again) and unloaded no end of wood, general tat, and two bags
of tiles from the old kitchen wall (for which I had to give them a bung of
eight quid before they would take). I also had an old fluorescent tube
from the old kitchen light to get shot of. Unusually this one was plastic (and
not glass). The chap who'd taken my money to get rid of the tiles told me
to chuck it in the general waste. As I was about to do so, another tip
operative came busying over and was nearly apoplectic when he saw what I was
doing. He told me I had to put it in "the cage". I explained
that his mate said I was to chuck it in the general waste; this new bloke was
having none of it. As luck would have it, the first bloke came bumbling past,
so I collared him, and the two tip operatives nearly came to blows over where
my broken tube should go. I left it propped up against "the cage"
and quietly slipped away. I drove up to Sainsburys where I got lunch.
As I came out there was another squabble going on. A rather threadbare and
unwashed vagrant was haranguing the chap selling copies of the Big Issue;
telling him to stop begging and to get a job. The pot was indeed calling the
kettle black here. I got to the works car park and scoffed
lunch, and finally got round to having a look at the Internet. A day or so ago
I mentioned that this year's Brighton Kite Festival had been cancelled. The
chap who took over the kite festivals at Teston was saying that this year's
kite event at Teston had also been cancelled. Whilst that is a shame, I must
admit that I'm not surprised. The chap who was supposedly running the event
said it had been cancelled "due to lack of interest from kite fliers
generally". I thought the thing had died a death years ago. It
certainly isn't publicised like it used to be. perhaps if I'd taken the event
on all those years ago (like I offered) things might have turned out
differently? And so on with the work… and with it done I
came home. Morgan’s leg is still bothering him… |
