June 15

1 June 2015 (Monday) - On the Late Shift

I woke up feeling rather negative this morning, but was pleased to see my beer had started fermenting. Over brekkie I checked out social media. There didn't seem to be much that had changed overnight so once my toast was (painfully) swallowed I took "Furry Face ^TM" for a walk round the park.

We went through Bowens Field where I once hid a geocache. Yesterdy I had a report that it was missing. I had a look-see. It was fine. They usually are. From heere we took the footpath to Viccie Park. That is I took the footpath. My dog took the cyclepath and ran under the front wheel of an oncoming cyclist. Dog and bike were fine; and bearing in mind the cyclist didn't actually end up in the river I don't see what he was complaining about.

Once at the park I was pollitely greeted by the Nepalese community. They seem to have claimed the picnic area by the Hubert fountain as their own and at most times of the day you will find a gaggle of Ghurkhas there; all minding their own business. This morning half a dozen of them were doing keep fit excercises.

We took a detour to avoid the two old codgers who flatly refuse to stop feeing treats to "Furry Face ^TM",. and met up with a friendly grey dog escorted by a rather fit lady. Wouldn't mind meeting up with them again(!)

We came home via the co-op field where my dog caused mayhem with a group of other dogs who had hitherto been playing "fetch" nicely. Just as we came to William Road a small child announced loudly to her mother "Look Mummy it's Fudge" and went on to say that Fudge was her favourite dog in the world.

Talking of William Road... Yesterday we noticed that there isn't a house numbered twenty. There's eighteen and twenty-two, and between them is a space plenty large enough for a house. I wonder if it got bombed out during the war. I wonder how a nosey person (such as me) could find out.

Some days our dog walk is dull. Today's made a rather eventful start to the morning.

I fed my dog, settled him down and set off to work maybe a little earlier than I might have done. I went via Folkestone to see the baby. He's not such the baby he once was; like all of them he's growning fast. He now stands up on his own.

I then went to Morrisons for some apples and bananas, and on to the Cheapo-bargains shop. I don't go there anywhere near as often as I used to; I quite miss that place. I didn't really have anything in mind I wanted to buy. I just wanted a mooch. I walked out scoffing a topic at half the price I would have paid elsewhere.

I got to work; and having done some I came home again. A possible geo-wander had been suggested for Wednesday so I set about solving the required puzzles until "Game of Thrones" started. I do like that show; I sometimes have trouble keeping track of which character is which in TV shows. In "Game of Thrones" it's easy. The stars don't "flop them out"; only the bit-part players. You can tell how nudey-dragon-girl's role has increased in importance over the years from the lessening of the floppings out.

Personally I'm a fan of floppings out which probably explains a lot of things...

2 June 2015 (Tuesday) – Stuff

Over brekkie I watched yet another episode of "Are You Being Served". Arguably the lamest character in the show (and that's up against some pretty serious competition) Mr Tebbs left to be replaced by Mr Goldberg. As I recall its at about this point in the show's history that it becomes seriously lame.

Mind you I found out today that the actress who played Mr Grace's secretary was (at the time) famous for "flopping them out". I might have mentioned that I'm a staunch supporter of this sort of thing.

As I watched so my "friends" next door had something of a family domestic; shrieking and shouting at 6.30am. In years gone by that chap would listen at the wall and report the squabbles that I and "Daddies Little Angel ^TM" would have to the council's social workers.

I wonder if he realises that I'm *not* returning the favour.

I then checked out the Internet. The entire nation is up in arms because the winner of "Britain's Got Talent" apparently cheated by using a stunt dog in her performance. I initially was going to pose the question "who cares?" but to the nation's shame evidently millions of people seem to care.

Instead I'll make the observation that the whole stunt dog debacle was probably done deliberately to keep the show in the news.

As I drove to work the Minister for Health was being interviewed on the radio. At the risk of sounding disrespectful, that chap is a master at talking bollocks. Apparently (!) there is a serious shortage of doctors and nurses and so agencies are able to charge a fortune to supply doctors and nurses from their staff.

The Minister for Health thinks this is too expensive and he intends to bring in legislation capping the maximum amount an agency can charge.

Now I thought that his was called "market forces" and that Conservative politicians felt it was a good thing. But what do I know?

It was interesting that the Minister for Health seemed to be oblivious to the fact that there are more people than just doctors and nurses in hospitals. Pharmacists, physiotherapists, podiatrists, radiographers, biomedical scientists, medical coders, porters, painters, cleaners and the like didn't warrant a mention. I wonder if there are shortages amongst those peeople too?

It was also interesting that he pundits on the radio didn't seem to want to take any responsibility for a crisis in NHS staffing; were they not to be constantly running a witch-hunt on every hospital in the country perhaps people might want to work in them?

I stopped off at Morrisons to get all the stuff I forgot yesterday and then went on to work where I did some. I then came home and took "Furry Face ^TM" round the park for a walk. The fun fair has arrived, and there are caravans full of fun-fair-folk all over the place. We didn't hang around.

On the wayy home we met a small child in full Kung-Fu costume obviously on his way to Karate class. He was "Hi-Ya-ing" in a menacing fashion at everyone and everything he saw... until he saw my dog. It was at that point when he screamed and ran in terror.

Being Tuesday the clans gathered; this time in Somerset Road. Having forgotten to bring the right episode of "The Flash" we played ChromeCast games and watched Doctor Who take on the latest variety of cybermat...

3 June 2015 (Wednesday) - A Geo-Walk

Over brekkie we had that very rare thing; a laugh-out-loud moment in "Are You Being Served" in which during ballet practice Mr Lucas inadvertently kicked Mr Humphries in the goolies.

It is commonly said that simple things please simple minds, but I found it hilarious.

I then got my gear together for today's walk. "Hannah" (my GPS unit) was fully charged this time. But just in case I had got rechargable batteries which I'd put in to juice up overnight. Are they supposed to get hot as they charge?

I put the lead onto "Furry Face ^TM", opened the door and saw torrential rain. But the weather forecast for the day was that it was going to be bright so we took a chance. We were right to do so; the rain stopped within five minutes.

Earlier in the week I'd asked if anyone was free for a geo-wander today. Sometimes people are; sometimes they aren't. But Richard had some spare time so we met up in the general vicinity of Orpington and wandered about. Our planned geo-stroll only took a couple of hours so we then went on and did another. We had a really good walk; beautiful views, wonderful scenery. And even a crafty First to Find along the way. I say "first" - there's some chap on-line who's claiming he did the secret geo-dance six hours before us. Perhaps he was; I don't doubt his e-claim but we found a blank log sheet when we arrived. (Rules is rules!)

We did get a few of our geo-sums wrong on the way; some of our mistakes were easily recitfied; others (involving Russian spies) not so. But we had an excellent walk; even if I did forget to take any photos.

I came home and had my fourth go with GSAK. GSAK is an amazing bit of software which does absolutely eveything you could ever ask for (provided you only ever ask for geo-things). There's no denying that I had to phone "er indoors ^TM" at one point, but on the whole I think I've sussed the software.

The Rear Admiral called round and we went on a minor geo-mission locally; pausing only to meet up with "er indoors ^TM" for some McDinner. And with half a dozen caches logged we went off to the astro club committee meeting.

It went surprisingly well. Or, not so surprisingly really....

4 June 2015 (Thursday) - Busy Day

I slept like a log last night; I have no idea why I was so tired. I woke this morning, had my fix of sad TV, then checked out the Internet. The spaceship model used in"Blake's Seven" was up for sale on eBay. With two weeks still to run on the auction, bidding has already reached over thirty thousand pounds.

I then put "Furry Face ^TM"'s lead on him and we went for a walk. I had intended to go out planning a new geo-walk today, but with my last three plans scuppered and plenty else to do at home I thought better of the idea. So we went round to Singleton Lake where my dog narrowly avoided being bashed up by geese. We came home through the park where we caused mayhem with various other dogs. As we crossed the co-op field we met OrangeHead. Being on her own she was friendly and civil. The moment her chunky little friend arrived she became very aloof.

Usually girls grow out of that when they leave school.

Once home I put on some seriously old clothes and set about the garden. The fish pond filter had blocked up so I ran out the hose to top up the pond, and scrubbed out the gungy filter. Oh - that thing stinks.

I then mowed the lawn. It had not been mowed for over a week; I *really* shouldn't leave it so long; it grows so fast.

And with the hose pipe run out I got out the pressure washer and zapped a few things around the garden. That pressure washer is a good toy.

I made a flying visit to Tesco, then over lunch watched the first episode of a biographical show about Bob Monkhouse. It was at this point I realised that my dog was still fast asleep. On the rare days when I actually show up at work I worry that he's bored at home. But it seems that after we've had our morning walks he spends most of the rest of the day asleep.

I then had a look at my letter rack. I don't do that anywhere near as often as I should. The bank statements had arrived; I checked through them. Could be better; could be worse. What is money for if not to squander foolishly?

I had a letter from the Kent Messenger people. I did a sponsored walk for them many years ago and every year they ask me to do another. I wish they wouldn’t.

The bill from the water companies was about thirty quid cheaper than it was last year. That’s a result.

My new bank cashpoint card had arrived; the old one had expired four days ago. Woops.

The Aspinall Foundation had written to me again. They always send a quarterly newsletter which I never read, and a quarterly free ticket to the zoo which I never use. I really should start donating money to them again now I’m not quite as skint as once I was.

SightSavers too had sent me their quarterly newsletter; another publication which I never read.

The people who provide the building and contents insurance for the house had sent me a letter which was frankly incomprehensible. I’ve filed it with a pile of similarly incomprehensible letters which I will throw away in the next financial year.

The bank also sent me an "equally clear" letter about changes to their terms and conditions which I also filed.

Legal and General had got wind of the rumour that I might be past my prime and were trying to get me to take out a “when you croak” policy. They can go whistle. I looked into those a while back. My first thought was that if I can’t take it with me then I wouldn’t go. But on realising the impracticality of that I took out a “when you croak” policy with someone else.

I found the voucher for five pounds that Morrison sent me when I last complained. I’ve put that in my wallet so I don’t forget about it again.

I spent a few minutes updating my calendar and e-linking it to my phone. I've got something organised pretty much every weekend from now till the end of August, but I can never remember what it is. Now I should be able to see what I'm doing from my phone.

Next on the list of "To Be Sorted" was the astro club accounts. I started off with balanced books and ended up with fifteen quid more than I should have. If I can't figure out where it's come from I shall just embezzle it and everyone will be happy.

The plan was to then do the ironing but by the time I'd put the hose pipe away and got the washing in from the line the afternoon was all but done. Instead I sparked up "Hannah" and once "er indoors ^TM" was home we set off for an evening's geo-walk. The weather was too good not to.

A few days ago a series of geocaches had gone live in Chilham; effectively stuffing up the 30+ cache series I had planned to put out in the area. I sulked for a bit, but this evening we went to do those caches. They made for a good walk for the dog. Mind you I did think they were rather spaced out. There were seven caches in the loop; there could have been twenty.

As we came home we saw that a neighbour had put out some teddies for the dustmen. "Furry Face ^TM" is currently ripping them to pieces.

5 June 2015 (Friday) - Laptop Maintenance

After a rather busy day yesterday rounded off with a walk, a late dinner and a bottle of plonk I suppose its not surprising that I slept well. I woke, pootled about, had brekkie and watched an episode of "Are You Being Served" all before my dog woke up. He was tired too.

I then got a bit stressy with my laptop. The old thing's being getting slower; it had almost reached the point of being unusable. But what with having already bought a pressure washer and "Hannah" recently the budget won't realistically stretch to a new laptop for a little while. So instead I got the AVG 1-click maintenance software. AVG antivirus has always been good in the past so I thought I'd see if this bit of kit might do the trick. After a bit of farting about setting it up it then did its thing. I left it doing so, and I took "Furry Face ^TM" for a walk.

Since the fun fair is in Viccie Park at the moment, we walked round to Frog's Island. As we walked I had a fit of the giggles. My dog was sniffing round a fence, utterly oblivious to the cat which was stalking him from the top of the fence. He sniffed and the cat stalked for at least five minutes before I finally got bored with the game.

As we walked there was a sign about a footbridge being replaced. I shall have to keep an eye out. Not only is that footbridge rather vital in our walks to the South Willesborough area, I've also hidden a geocache underneath it.

As we came home a small girl marched up to my dog, announced "Hello Fudge" and started stroking him much to the dismay of her mother. Mother then started shrieking about how on Earth was the child now going to wash her hands. At first thought I took offence, but before I could tell Mother to wind her neck in I realised that (bearing in mind "Furry Face ^TM"'s prediliction for fox poo) Mother probably had a valid point.

Once home I had a look to see what AVG 1-click maintenance had been up to. It claimed it had cured 228 problems in my registry, fixed 230 broken shortcuts, sorted 2290 program errors and had implemented no end of recommendations.

I suppose it's going to say that; after all it's hardly going to claim that there's nothing much to do. It's not going to tell me that I've wasted my time installing the thing, is it?

I then set it scanning the drives and went to the dentist. In a fit of forgetfulness I forgot I had a dentist appointment booked for last Tuesday and had re-scheduled for today.

I was told I was lucky to get seen today; I arrived to find they'd replaced the front desk. Again. I go there once every six months (on average) and every time they seem to have done something with the front desk. They also got a new receptionist. Whilst admirably (and demonstrably) equipped in the chest departtment her dental receptionist skills seemed sadly lacking. I suppose one can't have everything.

I eventually got checked in and it wasn't long before the dentist had a rummage in in my gob. He did some X-rays and announced that all seemed well.

I've got to go see the dental hygenist in a few weeks time. Once the dentist himself would do all that; nowadays he has a lackey to do it for him.

I came home to find my drives were still being scanned. Pausing only briefly to stop "Furry Face ^TM" rolling in a dead sparrow that the cats had left in the garden I then scoffed a spot of lunch whilst watching "Secret Diary of a Call Girl", and then took myself off to bed for the afternoon. Usually I get off to sleep right away; not so this afternoon. It was rather hot, and the claps of thunder just as I was nodding off didn't help. But I eventually managed a few hours kip before my dog's snoring woke me; I'd forgotten to close the stair gate and he'd sneaked up.

I came down to find the disks of my laptop had finally finished scanning. So I had a cuppa, and I'm off to see "Daddies Little Angel ^TM". She's said she'll cook my tea before the night shift.

Cooking my tea... She's twice this week posted on Facebook about "Share this if you love your Dad".

That girl is up to something.

6 June 2015 (Saturday) - Between the Night Shifts

As I drove home from last night's night shift this story in the news made me snigger. Yesterday an ISIS jihadi posted a selfie on-line. US forces were able to locate landmarks in the selfie, and within an hour or so of the photo going on-line the Americans had bombed that jihadi; and the (up till then) secret base from which the selfie had been taken.

Once home I turned on my lap-top. After yesterday's day of intensive PC maintenance I was hoping for great things from it. In retrospect I was expecting too much. I had been hoping that the thing would have been transformed into HAL-9000. I suppose it is noticeably faster, but I still get warnings about unresponsive scripts. That was one of the main things I'd been trying to fix.

Various windows still keep freezing too. I wish they wouldn't.

We then took "Furry Face ^TM" on a little walk down through Park Farm and home via "LegoLand" and South Willesborough;pausing only briefly to chase frogs at Willesborough Dykes and at at Asda for Belgian buns. Asda Belgian buns are smaller than those touted by Morrisons, and slightly more expensive. Not that I'm an expert on the matter.

Once home I barrelled the forty pints of home-brew, had a quick shower, scoffed the bun for lunch and took myself off to bed for the afternoon.

I slept well; I would have slept longer had "Furry Face ^TM" not been barking at the neighbours. He seems to have taken a dislike to the new people. A shame really as they seem to be a great improvement on some that we've had over the years.

The day between night shifts is usually dull; and this one was no exception. I'm off to another night shift now...

7 June 2015 (Sunday) - After the Night Shifts

With another night shift done I made my way home. In years gone by I used to grumble about the night work. Nowadays I think I prefer the night work to the day work. Being on my own for most of the shift, the job itself is more varied, and I can work at my own pace and in my own way. And being a longer shift (than the day shifts) I actually do less of them.

I *could* have listened to the radio as I drove home, but I'd had the radio on all night. What with documentaries about the failings of the Labour party, a play based on the Barchester Chronicles, pretentious quizzes, even more pretentious drivel about poetry, dull reports from the Moscow correspondent and opinionated ranting about healthy eating (to say nothing of the shipping forecast and the farmers' round-up) I think it fair to say I'd had enough of the radio.

Instead I listened to the random music I had stored on my phone. Sparks, Queen, the Dickies, ELO, Kate Bush, B.A. Robertson, quality stuff (!)

I came home expecting to have to navigate around road closures; last week I'd seen notices that the main road through Ashford was going to be closed. The council had advertised a phone number from which to get information about the road closure. I'd rung it, and been asked to leave a phone number on which they could get back to me with directions. They hadn't.

I drove home rather hoping that diversions would be signposted. They weren't. The road wasn't closed at all, but the signs saying it *would* be closed were still in place. I wonder what all that was about.

Once home I thought I'd get a little shut-eye. I woke at mid day to find I was cuddling my dog like he was a teddy bear and to find that "er indoors ^TM" had gone to Bluewater with her posse. I had my breakfast for lunch and then thought I might take "Furry Face ^TM" for a walk.

We did our usual circuit of Bowens Field, Viccie Park and Co-op field. As we walked into the park I got a fit of the giggles. There was a gaggle of schoolgirls (aged about twelve I suppose) loitering as young girls do. One of them had her arms crossed under her not insubstantial bosom and was using her crossed arms to wield her chest to its best effect. A yound lad (also aged about twelve) came up on his scooter and stopped about three feet away from her. He blatently looked her up and down, gave a very piercing wolf-whistle and loudly announced "Nice tits".

We walked away just as the fist fight started.

There were lots more children and teenagers in the park; all running riot as they do. As well as using the "F" word a lot, they seem to now have a new insult. Apparently calling someone a "fannywhacker" is fighting talk. Once lives and learns.

With our walk done I spent an hour or so working on my next presentation to the astro club. An as-yet unnamed talk (provisionally designated as "Why Comets Are Crap") it explores the various reasons why comets are crap. I thought I'd better get on with it; circumstances might necessitate it's being ready earlier than planned.

I didn't get as much done as I was hoping; a hot day added to being post night shift had taken its toll. I went back to bed for another couple of hours until "er indoors ^TM" came home and boiled up a rather good bit of scoff which we devoured whilst watching "Thunderbirds". She then had a little lie-down and my piss boiled somewhat...

In years gone by my nutty neighbour would listen at the wall for hours on end. He'd give the fact away by often stopping me in the street and giving me his opinion on whatever we'd been discussing the night before. If ever I had a difference of opinion with "Daddies Little Angel ^TM" (it happened occassionally - would you beleive it) he would call out the social workers because he found raised voices to be distressing.

He spent an hour or so this evening shrieking at his wife who is (apparently) only still with him because she's too proud to go back to Japan.

This happens all the time. I once called out the emergency psychiatrist (they actually exist) to come see him. I was told that although he was highly stressed he wasn't actually clinically insane.

Sometimes I wonder if we might revisit that diagnosis.

Time to wake "er indoors ^TM" - we're off to the airport to collect "My Boy ^TM".

8 June 2015 (Monday) - Bit Tired

By the time we'd waited round Clacket Lane for the phone call to tell us that the airplane had landed last night, it was past midnight before we got to the airport. It didn't help that I couldn't find where to go, and that the *helpful* staff at Gatwick deliberately sent me to the wrong place. (I know they mis-directed me deliberately because I later found the person who'd done so, challenged him and he confirmed he'd deliberately sent me to the wrong place!)

We eventually found the returning holidaymakers, and everyone was home and in bed shortly before 3am.

Despite two night shifts and then a 3am bed time I was raring to go at 7am this morning. I'd booked a day's holiday for today thinking I might be tired. I had vaguely planned to do a recce on a new geo-series I have in mind, but thought better of the idea. Just recently I've planned three such routes only to have other people put out caches in the way (effectively stuffing up my plans) and so at the moment I really can't be bothered.

Instead we scrounged a lift with "er indoors ^TM" to her work and walked home through the golf course. A new geocache had gone lilve there over the weekend. I spent five minutes having a look but a combination of spiky hawthorne and nosey golfers put me off and I gave up.

As we walked through the Warren my dog saw something. A squirrel, a rabbit, a yeti; I don't know what it was but without warning he sprinted after it. I'd deliberately kept him on the lead in case this happened. He flew until the lead reached its fullest extent, but he was running with such force he snapped the lead.

I bellowed at him, and to his credit he stopped instantly. I suppose it was only a matter of time until that lead snapped. It was getting rather worn.

Once home I did that traditional pastime on my days of annual leave; laundry. Washing onto the line, ironing, washing machine at full power, sorting undercrackers... the usual.

As I ironed I activated my laptop to Chromecast Power and watched some Star Trek episodes. But not just any episodes; new ones. Star Trek Phase Two is supposedly carrying on from where the third season of the original Star Trek left off. It was watchable enough whilst doing the ironing, but... had the actors been given any original dialogue rather than re-hashing very recognisable phrases from the original TV series and films,

and had the writers tried original plots rather than re-workinng old stories it might have had promise.

I could have then gone shopping; we now need a new dog lead and I need something to connect two lengths of hose pipe. I could have mowed the lawn or pressure-washed the front garden. I could have continued working on my presentation for the astro club.

Instead I fell asleep in front of the telly until "er indoors ^TM" came home.

Out of interest I had a look on the geo-map. We had been invited to go on holiday with "My Boy ^TM" so I checked out the geocaching in the area. There were no caches within forty miles of where they had been staying and only six within a hundred miles. Compare that to Ashford where there is one hundred and ninety five within two miles of my house.

And it's Monday night. Game of Thrones. I think I need to get the DVDs and watch the entire lot again to figure out why everyone is doing what they are doing, and to figure out to whom it is they are doing it.

And also to see nudey-dragon-girl before she got so famous that she was allowed to keep her clothes on...

9 June 2015 (Tuesday) - Still Tired

I went to bed right after "Game of Thrones" last night and slept for seven hours but still woke feeling rough. Over brekkie (shared with my dog) I watched another black-and-white episode of "Dads Army". I thought I'd seen all of that show so many times, but I don't remember these black-and-white episodes at all.

I struggled to then check out social media; for all that I've wasted money on AVG I-click maintenance I still get the lap-top frezing with warnings about unresponsive scripts.

Sometimes it's quicker to take the battery out of the thing and re-boot it than it is to wait for it to respond.

As I drove to work I listened to the news on the radio. Despite the fact that it's only a month since the Conservatives won the General Election, the pundits are forecasting doom and gloom for them. Apparently it's all to do with the Euro-referendum. Not all of the Conservatives are united on the question of whether or not the UK should remain in the European Union.

The feeling is that whichever side wins, the losing side won't be happy and there will be an irreconcilable rift in the party; probably fuelled by UKIP who, despite having only secured one seat at the general Election are already mischief-making for this upcoming referendum.

To my mind this entirely illustrates what's wrong with our so-called democracy. Once every five years we each get to vote for a local MP; and we can only really choose on the broadest terms. Most people will find they side with one candidate on education and health matters, but agree with another on foreign and social issues. No candidate really stands for all that we want.

And the MPs themselves are in the same boat. Nominally of one political party or another, they too only really agree with their party's policies in the broadest terms. many of them disagreeing on many individual policies.

And consequently we have a government hopelessly divided on what is possibly the most important issues of the year, if not the entire term of the parliament.

Meanwhile my bank has seen the writing on the wall and is preparing to abandon the UK. Seriously cutting their investment in Britain they are looking to shed one in every six of their employees and take their money elsewhere.

It gives me no pleasure to predict they will be the first of many businesses and companies to do so.

Being on the early shift meant for an early finish thus giving me a few minutes spare after work. I did a little shopping; specifically that shopping I should have done on my day off yesterday.

To HomeBase for the hose-pipe fixings; to Pets at Home for a new lead. Fortunately I had some three-quid-off vouchers for Pets at Home. Admittedly I had to spend over thirty quid to get the bargain, but I just made up the difference in dog food. Effectively I've got a week's scoff for free... if you overlook the fact I had to buy a new lead.

I got some petrol as well; I've been getting through a lot of that lately.

Once home I took "Furry Face ^TM" out and we put the new lead through its paces. It seems to to the trick - let's hope it lasts.

Usually Tuesday sees a gathering of the clans. What with one thing and another enough people were indisposed to persuade us to postpone. Which in retrospect was probably for the best; I was still feeling rather washed out. So I experimented streaming stuff from my phone to the telly via the intermediary ChromeCast. Its amazing what you can do with that thing...

10 June 2015 (Wednesday) - New Grand-Dog

Finding myself falling asleep in front of the telly I had another early night last night, and slept through till 7am. Admittedly I did a couple of night shifts last week, but this is now getting somewhat excessive. I wonder if I'm sickening for something.

I didn't watch any lame telly over brekkie; instead I checked out social media on a lap-top which was gracious enough to work (after a fashion). I've noticed that more and more I give but a glance to the Facebook antics of family and close friends, but am absolutely enthralled by the postings of those I don't really know very well. In fact it might be time to prune the Facebook list again; there are several names on it that I do not recognise at all.

I then took "Furry Face ^TM" for a little walk. I wonder if he's sickening for something too. He didn't get up this morning as I scoffed brekkie, and I've noticed that when he walks he sems to be very stiff in his movements. Am I walking him too much?

As we walked we saw something odd; OrangeHead's dog, but not with OrangeHead. Said dog was with a rather odd-looking chap who seemed to be either two feet too tall or several stones underweight and was sporting an ill-fitting beard. "Son of Orangehead" perhaps? Are such things possible?

I went to work via a visit to the first fruit of my loin. They've got a new puppy. "Rolo" is quite the little cutie; even if he should really have been called "Dave". I spent a little while fussing him.

"My Boy ^TM" had words to say about the little dog not being toilet trained. I've made the prediction that the puppy will be toilet trained far quicker than "My Boy ^TM" ever was.

The first fruit of my loin wasn't happy with that act of clairvoyance

As I drove to Canterbury the radio had a documentary about Ernest Holloway Oldham who worked for the Foreign Office in the 1920s and 1930s and at the time was selling British secrets to the Russians for financial gain.

Apparently the Russians were paying him the eaquivalent of thousands of pounds each week which he was spending on drink. Didn't anyone notice how pissed this chap was on a regular basis?

A new geocache had gone live right on my way to work; I stopped off to get it whilst passing. I narrowly missed being first to find; I nearly didn't get it; fortunately the clue said exactly where it was. The GPS was taking me some thirty yards away.

I've politely suggested that the person who hid it might like to re-visit their GPS-ing. Mind you I'm pretty sure I know what's happening here. This new cache is a direct replacement for one which used to be in that area and went missing. They've put out a new one in a better hiding place but used the old co-ordinates.

With a little time still on my hands I then went to have a look round "Go Outdoors". For all that my GPS unit was a serious bargain, their clothes aren't cheap. Does anyone *really* pay twenty quid for a T-shirt?

And so to work. The boss took the afternoon off, and for a few hours I was "The Numero Uno Honcho with Authoritah" or so it was announced. I've been "The Numero Uno Honcho with Authoritah" before. I don't really like it very much. It's all very well all the time everything is peachy, but things soon go sour when the poop hits the propellors.

I got round the difficulties by appointing "A Numero Due Honchette with Authoritah" - no one messed with her....

I was glad to get home this evening. A late shift had made for a rather late finish and time never drags quite so much as when the elastic in your undercrackers has given up the ghost. Those undercrackers are now in the bin (thank heavens!)

It's not the first time I've dinged pants; I'm getting quite low on the things. I shall visit Asda at some point...

11 June 2015 (Thursday) – Stuff

After a decent night's sleep I woke with something of a headache. I hate that; morning headaches seems to drag on interminably. Over brekkie (shared with "Furry Face ^TM") I watched "Secret Diary of a Call Girl". Billie Piper is very good in that; so good that I was so wrapped up in the plot that it wasn't until the show was over that I realised she'd kept her kit on for the entire episode.

I then had a look on social media. Seeing a friend had a birthday reminded me of something I'd heard on the radio yesterday which had slipped my mind. I didn't realise that the song "Happy Birthday to You" is still copyrighted. Public performances of said song incur a royalty payment. Whilst it's practically unenforcable for the vast majority of the times it is sung, whoever owns the copyright gets enough of a bung every time it appears on TV, film and radio to make it the most profitable song of all time.

Whenever anyone has a birthday I often post my trademark birthday video to their Facebook page. I wonder how much I owe for having done that over the years.

As I drove to work I listened to the radio. A survey of two hundred thousand Britons has declared that the Robin is Britain's favourite bird. However the validity of the vote has been cast into doubt. Apparently most votes cast were cast by schoolchildren on the day on the General Election (to teach them all about voting) and consequently the Barn Owl came in second place because all the kids who voted were Harry Potter fans. This has caused consternation in some quarters as it was hitherto common knowledge that people prefer blackbirds over owls....

And this is news?

Once at work I had another busy day. I'm getting fed up with being expected to actually do stuff at work.

Mind you the day wasn't without excitement. "Daddies Little Angel ^TM" phoned in a less than tranquil frame of mind. Her landlord has decided to sell their house and has told them to sling their hooks. I can understand her dismay; but part of me thinks this is the problem of living in rented accommodation. You *can* be hoiked out at the drop of a hat.

Mind you this *could* be a good thing. I've always said there are too many stairs in that flat for my liking.

With work done we took "Furry Face ^TM" for quite a long walk; it was too nice not to his evening. Down to Park Farm (via South Willesborough) and back. "Furry Face ^TM" seemed to like the walk. I wonder if my latest grand-dog will like long walks...

Spare a thought for that little puppy - "My Boy ^TM" is up in arms because "Rolo" has taken to going under the sofa for a tiddle. I think it's quite sweet really; mainly because its not my sofa.

12 June 2015 (Friday) - Car Fire

I again went to bed last night an hour earlier than usual. Why am I so tired just lately? "Furry Face ^TM" had a woofing fit at some stage in the night but "er indoors ^TM" got up to see to him so I left her to it.

Over brekkie I watched a particularly lame episode of "Are You Being Served", and bearing in mind the general standard of the show, that was up against some pretty serious cometition. And after Mrs Slocombe had been very willy-nilly with her pussy I found something quite amazing on the telly. "Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura" was expounding the theory that global warming was all a scam to make money. He was rather vague about who was making money, and how they were doing so, and not one of the so-called experts were actually identified. It was clearly hyped-up drivel, but it made for worrying watching for those who are stupid enough not to to give a moment's thought to any crackpot theory with which they are presented.

The trouble is that there are lots of people who really are stupid enough not to to give a moment's thought to any crackpot theory with which they are presented (Did I ever mention that I don't beleive in democracy?).

Mind you I would suggest that my loyal readers have a look at the show; his assistant reporter has clearly had some sort of cosmetic sugery done to her face. Each of her lips is larger than my buttocks.

I set off out and had something of a surprise. It turned out that "Furry Face ^TM" had been barking at blue lights in the night. Overnight the car which had been parked next to mine had caught fire. Apparently the fire brigade had been called to put the thing out. "er indoors ^TM" had been out and seen it all and had even offered to move my car if it was in the firemen's way.

It's amazing what happens when you are asleep.

I then went up to the hospital for my out patient appointment. I've been fretting about it for a while. The maxillo-facial specialist had a rummage in my neck and immediately found the troublesome lump. He mauled it around for five minutes then confidently said it was probably nothing to worry about. I asked about the "C" word and he then backtracked (but only slightly). He suggested I should have an ultrasound scan just to be sure and I should come back to see him in a month or so.

I was of the opinion that maybe I should have had the scan *before* seeing the expert, and *if* it's nothing to worry about, why does it hurt so much. But what do I know?

Perhaps they might eventually tell me what (if anything) they intend to do about this lump. It's the uncertainty which gets me down.

I then made my way to Canterbury for the late shift; wasting time in the Cheapo-Bargains shop as I went. Work was again surprisingly busy. I've had to actually get off my arse this week and do stuff. Can't say I'm a fan of that.

Once at work I realised the sole of my shoe was coming away from the top. Regular readers of this drivel may recall that this pair of shoes was bought on the cheap from eBay. On 17 February I worked out that if those shoes lasted more than five weeks I'd be in profit. At that time I hadn't factored in the fact that the heels were leaving black marks everywhere, so I had to then spend a further twelve quid on new heels. So that meant the shoes had to survive for seventeen weeks to be realistically any cheaper than a decent pair of shoes.

They have lasted exactly seventeen weeks.

I now have a dilemma. Do I buy another pair of cheapo shoes or shell out on a decent pair of Doc Marten's?

I suppose that from the maxillo-facial specialist's optimism a decent pair of shoes wouldn't be quite the waste of money I've been thinking it might have been..

13 June 2015 (Saturday) – Deal

Yesterday I mentioned how I'd cunningly calculated value in footware. A decent pair of Doctor Marten shoes lasts me two years (on average) and when I last looked they cost about one hundred pounds. So (roughly) that's a quid a week. In order for a pair of cheapo-bargain shoes to actually be a bargain they have to work out cheaper than a quid a week. Or so I worked out in February.

The same pair of Doc Martens which was just over a hundred quid on eBay then now only costs sixty quid. So much for the official UK inflation figures which would have us all beleive differently. It didn't take a genius to work out the cheapest move; the new Doctor Marten sixty quid shoes should arrive on Wednesday.

I took "Furry Face ^TM" for a walk round the park. At one point I lost him, but he soon came to light when I saw the amount of birds that were flying out of a hedge that seemed to be shaking in a very un-natural fashion.

We came home via the bakery; can't beat a Belgian bun. Once home "Furry Face ^TM" got his monthly flea treatment. I really should have mowed the lawn this morning, but it was still wet from the overnight rain so instead I again wrestled with the lap-top. Despite AVG-1 click maintenance's best efforts the thing is becoming effectively unusable with the various applications all freezing for no apparent reason.

I've given up with FireFox and taken to using Chrome as a browser; that seems to freeze up less. Interestingly the moment I activated Chrome it suggested downloading the MicroSoft Malicious Software Removal Tool which I did. It did a "quick scan" of the most likely places it might find any malware. After five minutes it announced it hadn't found anything. After ten minutes Chrome started freezing up as well.

Mind you I do intermittently see an icon telling me that WIndows is downloading updates. Perhaps the's either the problem or (will be) the cure. I also see another icon has appeared saying I can get Windows 10 for free when it becomes available. I wonder if I should get it? Perhaps a new lap-top might be a better idea?

The plan for the afternoon had been a garden party. But I was in a bit of a sulk. I suppose it's the disappointing outcome of yesterday's out-patients appointment. Is this lump "something to worry about" (and if it is, then in all honesty I'm not really *that* worried) or is it not? Either way it hurts, and I'm just a little fed up with the uncertainty.

I wasn't in the best frame of mind to be making polite conversation so I took the train to Deal to be with people with whom I could have a sulk (and they wouldn't mind).

Surprsingly we had a pint or two.... but it's not easy to stage a booze-up when it hurts to swallow.

14 June 2015 (Sunday) – 5000

I was fast asleep when "er indoors ^TM" alarm went off. She'd set it for 3am for no reason that either of us could determine. I struggled to get back to sleep after that. I finally dozed off only to be woken by "Furry Face ^TM" who had a woofing fit when the neighbours we like went out at 5am. I gave up trying to sleep at that point, got up and had a bit of brekkie. I programmed "Hannah" for the day's upcoming geo-event, had a shave, and went back to bed.

After laying there wide awake for an hour I gave up, got up and thought I might use the time semi-constructively. I put a load of washing into scrub and mowed the lawn. I then strimmed the edges and cut back the overgrowth pouring over the fence from next door. Whilst then hanging out the laundry on the line I saw I'd somehow got a rather nasty blood blister whilst doing the gardening.

I then emptied one of the lock-ups to get the astro club's event shelter out. And having emptied it I realised I'd emptied the wrong one, so I put it all back and emptied the correct one. I then got out my clippers and gave myself a haircut.

By then it seemed like I'd done a day's work but it was only just gone eight o'clock. I popped the lead onto "Furry Face ^TM" and we went for a little walk. We met a new dog walker today. A nice lady who is very heavily pregnant; in all honesty she looks like she's got a football team in there (poor girl).

And as we came home through the co-op field so my dog found the fox poo. He ate those bits that he didn't roll in. Foul creature.

I then spent a few minutes fighting with the recalcitrant lap-top. I've registered for Windows 10; desperate times call for desperate measures.

We then set off to Maidstone where we picked up Aleta. She seems to be doing really well after her recent knee replacement operation. We then went up to Rochester for the monthly cacher's meeting. Bearing in mind the weather did't look too good we'd left Fudge on guard duty at home as the pub wasn't dog-friendly. But the pub was wasn't bad at all; they did a rather good roast dinner. We met up with the other hunters of tupperware, and had a really good jabber about all things tupperware-hunting-related. And I got my five thousandth geo-smiley-face too...

We didn't then go for a geo-wander. We had a mooch round Toys-R-Us as it was over the road, then came home. Having been up most of the night I dozed pretty much all of the way home, and after a little visit to the outlet centre I spent a little while fighting with maps. It is apparently possible to get Ordnance Survey maps onto the geo-apps on my phone. I *really* can't do it.

I then had a look at a Facebook group which was claiming to be able to allow me to do so, but it lied.

"My Boy ^TM" came to visit in the evening. He was wondering what DVDs he'd left behind in what was once his room. I must admit that it seems a shame having spent twenty thousand pounds on a loft conversion only to have the loft room not being used.

Mind you it makes a good guest suite on the rare occassion we have people staying over.

This evening saw the start of a new TV show. "Humans" is set in the near future when human-like robots are commonplace. On the one hand I quite like it because it's not yet another American police show; set in the UK it's been filmed on some of the places I've been. On the other hand it's tackling topics that decent sci-fi dealt with in the 1950s.

The first episode was quite good; but I think the show is going to take the direction that Isaac Asimov took in 1974 when he wrote the short story "...that thou art mindful of him"

Mind you I will watch the next episodes having recorded them first. I can't be doing with all the adverts.

15 June 2015 (Monday) – Telly

A very young Barbara Windsor guest-starred in this morning's episode of "Dad's Army". Another black-and-white one; another one I'd not seen before. I then watched teh end of an episode of "Smallville". I've only ever seen snippets of that show. With ten seasons of it, I sometimes wonder if its something I might like. I wonder if I can download it all from somewhere.

My piss then boiled as I checked my emails. Having spent sixty quid on new shoes over the weekend, today eBay send me a voucher for twenty per cent off of all purchases over twenty quid. They *could* have sent that email two days ago...

I set off for work, got to the car and realised I'd left my wallet behind. So I came home and once I was in and had collected my wallet I went and woke up my dog. He goes mental when someone visits a house over the road, but was completely oblivious to someone coming into the one house he is supposed to be guarding.

I drove to work; the radio played its usual mix of trivia. I stopped off at Morrisons for supplies, then did some work.

At lunchtime I popped out on a geo-mission. A new cache had gone live within walking distance of work. It didn't take me long to get there; didn't take long at all to find it.

It was a tad obvious. It's been there a week, and from reading the logs it looks like the local kids have already discovered it. I hid it slightly better than it was (not at all) hidden when I found it, and I took the liberty to throw away the sweeties which were inside it. Rules is rules - there should never have been sweeties in the thing in the first place.

I hope a few more of these caches go out near work; it made for a pleasent diversion at lunchtime today. Mind you, at the risk of appearing negative, Canterbury is notorious for people discovering the geo-hobby, rushing out hiding new caches, losing interest and then leaving their caches to decay.

I must admit that geo-alarm bellls are ringing; here's (yet) another Canterbury cache hidden by someone with a total find-count of six (including having cheekily logged this one of his own). Let's hope this new hider of tupperware don't give up too.

Once home I took "Furry Face ^TM" for a walk round the park where he got rather carnally involved with a chihuahua and a spaniel. Not at the same time (I hasten to add) but on reflection I'm wondering whether that was a good or bad thing.

Over tea we watched something new on telly which reminded me of something I'd heard on the radio this morning. There had been an interview with Dan Postgate. Son of Oliver Postgate; he's brought his father's "The Clangers" back to our TV screens. I quite liked "The Clangers", and this re-boot was good fun.

"er indoors ^TM" went bowling and I watched another new TV show. "Dark Matter" was rather reminiscent of "FireFly". I quite liked tonight's first episode even if the same story was done much better in Star Trek: The Next Generation's episode "Conundrum".

And then it was time for the last in the current season of "Game of Thrones". Can't say I've liked it as much as I liked the earlier seasons. When the show started there were beleiveable characters and nudey-dragon-girl flopped them out with entertaining regularity. Those few beleivable characters that are left haven't been developed at all in this last season, nudey-dragon-girl had kept the puppies on a tight leash, and any sort of plot has been abandoned in favour of gratuitous mindless violence. I've seen that in "Football Factory", "Essex Boys" and the like. Has "Game of Thrones" run out of ideas? Certainly looks like it...

Yesterday I mentioned that "Humans" was a story which had been done to death by sci-fi writers fifty years ago. Just recently we've been watched the CGI-ed "Thunderbirds". "Poldark" (which I liked immensely) was a re-make. Now it's "Clangers - The Next Generation".

There's nothing original on the telly any more.

16 June 2015 (Tuesday) - Bit Dull

Last night I had a reasonable kip; the first for a while. Mind you I was still wide awake at 5am. Over brekkie I watched "Are You Being Served" which the SkyPlus box had recorded for me. I think I'm now on the last season which is probably for the best.

Being on the early shift I set off a little earlier than usual; the news had its usual blend of irritation. Having spent some months saying that they will abide with the public's decision after the loss of the independence referendum it now seems the Scottish Nationalist *are* pushing for another one.

The Greeks are causing concern. Apparently having up so much debt they owe everyone everything, they've now decided to solve their debt problems by not actually paying anything back. Apparently their major creditors are up in arms wanting their money. It strikes me that our Prime Minister could learn a lot from the Greek attitude.

I got to work, did some, and came home. The plan was to make the most of the early finish; instead I got stuck in a queue of traffic and didn't really get home that early at all.

We had out customary walk round the park. The walk itself was pretty much uneventful, but there was an interesting sight as we left the co-op field. The nice lady in William Road had clearly forgotten to close the curtains. Or perhaps she didn't care. Or perhaps she was deliberately waggling her ample charms on purpose. Either way it brightened up what had (till then) been a dull day.

Once home I had a look on-line. I did laugh at "MessageToEagle dot com

". Billed as "thought provoking news for open-minded people who can think outside the box" a more accurate description would be "utter drivel which is clearly laughable to all but the most feeble-minded simpleton". Today's installment featured a message to humanity which aliens had left (some time ago) which they had coded into our DNA. I did think about sending them a message to say that I'd already seen this idea on "Star Trek" but I've always thought it bad form to enter into a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

Perhaps more useful was finding a bunch who give lessons in the use of GPS units. They aren't cheap but I've registered with them. Apparently there is a monthly newsletter which might give me some pointers in how best to use "Hannah"

Being Tuesday the clans gathered. "Furry Face ^TM" liked the attention, and after finding myself stuck on the floor we eventually managed to watch an episode of "The Flash". The telly didn't recognise the USB stick, but transmission via ChromeCast saved the day.

Oh - I nearly forgot... my new Doc Martens have arrived; they seem to be OK. We shall find out tomorrow.

17 June 2015 (Wednesday) - Still Dull