1 August 2023 (Tuesday) - Before the Late Shift



I slept well and finally woke after a nightmare in which “er indoors TM had decided that cactuses would make good pond plants.

I made toast and had my usual trawl through the Internet. Knowing that several friends had birthdays today I was ready to post out birthday wishes… no one had a birthday today. What had I been thinking? There was quite a bit on pride in Yorkshire and Scotland evident on my Facebook feed this morning. I can never work out why so many Scots and Yorkshiremen are *so* proud of their homeland but choose to live in Kent.

Mind you I did smile at the story I read of the (ex-) Kentish man who persuaded Thurrock council to invest tens of millions of their money in his business… Well, not so much “invest” as “hand over”. The chap bought a private jet (among other things) out of the money he ripped off from the council. He’s now living the high life abroad whilst the council is effectively bankrupt. Democracy, eh? Rather than electing the sort of person who stands for local council, why don’t we as a “democracy” appoint people who aren’t quite so gullible to run things?


I drove the dogs up to Kings Wood. Bearing in mind the amount of rain we’ve had recently I thought the paths there might be less mucky than at Orlestone.

They were.

Kings Wood isn’t *that* much further away than Orlestone really. And when the roads are clear it doesn’t take much longer to get there. We had a good walk; we only met one other dog walker – I say “walker”; the chap was running. The pups tried to join in with his run but they soon came back to the sound of the whistle. When it works, whistle training is rather impressive to watch.

We also tried “posing for the camera” again; it is still very much a work in progress.


With walk walked we had a cuppa (and pastries) and I spent a little time looking at my latest obsession that will never happen - a world cruise. Take this one for example – a hundred days away. It works out at a hundred quid a day which ain’t bad I suppose, but for all that it is a “world cruise”, only twenty-nine of the days involve doing any touristy-stuff. Seventy-one days are spent on the boat sailing. I’d go stir-crazy.

er indoors TM has found a cruise going from Dover to the Isles of Scilly (via Guernsey) and back over a week. That might do for next summer if we can find a dog-sitter.


And then I went to work for the late shift. I’d rather do an early given a choice… shame that I wasn’t…



2 August 2023 (Wednesday) - Before Another Late Shift



I slept like a log again. On waking I made “er indoors TM a cuppa and took it up to her together with a small wodge of cards and pressies (as it’s her birthday today). We had a little opening ceremony then I did myself a cuppa and looked at the Internet (as I do). There wasn’t much going on really, so I had a little look at cruises (as this would seem to be my current obsession). Yesterday I found a round-the-world cruise – just over three months for ten thousand quid. Today I found a trip to Longyearbyen (somewhere I quite fancy going) and back – two weeks for fifteen thousand quid… once you’ve made your own way to Oslo.


Bearing in mind rain was forecast for later I took the dogs up to the woods. As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about Donald Trump, and were interviewing someone or other who is one of his political opponents. Facing yet another indictment is no handicap to Mr Trump; the chap being interviewed openly admitted that no matter what he says himself, the average American voter loves Donald Trump. Mr Trump really can do no wrong in the eyes of the American electorate. In fifty years’ time generations yet unborn will wonder “WTF were they thinking of”, but this is the thing with charismatic leaders, isn’t it? The masses love them regardless of what they do. It has happened many times in history and will doubtless happen again.

(Not that I’m likening Mr Trump to any of these in any other way than charisma)


We got to the woods and set off to the location of one of my geocaches. Someone had complained that it was on an ants’ nest. I’d not put it on an ants’ nest, but someone or other had decided that being on an ants’ nest several yards from where it was supposed to be was a far better hiding place…

I put it right, and we carried on with our walk. We had drizzle, we had rain, we had glorious sunshine. And we waded in a swamp.


We then came home and had a bath, and I spent a few minutes plunging the plug hole. I’ve got this theory that years of mud (from dogs) have accumulated down the plug hole, and with us having showers (and not baths) there’s never a head of water to flush the mud through. But a good plunging seemed to do the trick.

I got us some pastries, I looked at more cruise holiday, and then set off to work.


And again the best bit of the day was over and done with by the mid-morning.



3 August 2023 (Thursday) - Rostered Day Off



Treacle woke me when she jumped of the bed this morning. I chased after her, but I wasn’t quick enough and she was sick on the landing. She’s been eating grass for a day or so; if this continues it will be a trip to the vet.

I made toast and had a look at Facebook. People who’d clearly never watched episodes of the original “Star Trek” were quibbling about petty details of the program. People who spend fortunes making models of daleks were finding the most trivial faults in each other’s efforts… all safe in the knowledge that they would never have to actually meet whoever it was they were being nasty to, with and about.

I also discovered that this weekend is the Mega-geocaching event of the year. The country’s biggest meet-up of hunters of Tupperware… I’ve said before that geocaching is very much a closely guarded secret. Had I known I probably wouldn’t have gone… but it would have been good to have had the opportunity.


I drove the dogs up to Kings Wood. Someone had said that they couldn’t find one of my geocaches up there. We walked a mile into the woods to where I hid the thing last winter and I found it right away.

As we walked the dogs chased a squirrel and were utterly oblivious to the deer that was watching them. Treacle waded belly-deep in a swamp (again). Bailey rolled in fox poo (again) and then ate it.

We came home for a serious scrub in the bath with copious amounts of hypoallergenic dog soap; Bailey gets rashes. She can eat fox poo, roll in fox poo and rancid swamps, but the wrong soap gives her a rash. Dogs, eh?


With dogs scrubbed I popped to the corner shop for pastries; taking a circuitous route via a few local Greenies. Today was the start of this month’s Munzee Clan War and I needed two Qrates (it’s a Munzee thing).

Just as I got my second Qrate a rather foxy-looking woman asked me it I’d ever wondered why there was so much suffering in the world. Seeing a rather foxy-looking woman and her rather foxy-looking chum both carrying Jehovah’s Witness pamphlets I thought I might have a reasoned conversation with them.

Or that was my initial plan.

I told them that I had often wondered why there was so much suffering in the world, but for me the burning issue wasn’t why there was so much suffering; the question was why their God allowed it. They blathered some platitudes in a lame attempt to make excuses for their God and asked if I agreed. I said I didn’t. I said  that all the evidence of my experience and of human history gives three possible reasons why their God allows the suffering. Either it is indifferent to humanity’s suffering (or actually enjoys it). Or it is unable to do anything about it. Or it isn’t actually there. The foxy mate then suggested that we turn to scripture. I suggested we didn’t because (as they reluctantly agreed) pretty much every bible verse is contradicted by another. By this point I felt a bit sorry for them, and I threw them a bone. I said that of course there is one subject on which their Bible was quite consistent. They smiled at that, but their faces fell when I pointed out that it was homosexuality. In their efforts to be inclusive they didn’t realise that being on the other bus was a big no-no in the Bible. Mind you (as I told them) many of my family and friends “bat for the other side” and that should “er indoors TM croak I would happily play pork swordfights if my protagonist would feed me on a regular basis.

They tried to get away from me saying that they would pray for me. I told them that prayer was dangerous… Not only is asking for something in a prayer finding fault with the creator of the universe’s plan, it is also being bold enough to suggest improvements.

That hadn’t occurred to them.

I remarked that I was once a committed Christian (I was once a Steward in the Methodist Church and used to spout some right religious bollox) and that I’ve since found that thinking for myself is a liberating experience.


After that I deserved a cuppa and a pastry. And suitably refreshed I spent some time in the garden. Lawns don’t mow themselves, you know. I like to keep the lawn short, not so much because it looks better as with a short lawn I can see dog dung so much easier. And then I spent a little while farting about with the floating planters in the pond. I’m not sure that this water cress has been the success it might have been.

I then dozed in front of the telly watching episodes of “Shameless


er indoors TM” boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed watching a rather gritty episode of “Star Trek: Strange New Worlds”. We washed dinner down with a bottle of Cava. The plonk was something of a disappointment.



4 August 2023 (Friday) - Early Shift



I woke feeling full of energy and raring to go... at twenty to two. I then dozed on and off and eventually gave up trying to sleep, made toast and watched an episode of "Shameless" before setting off to work. Again (like last week) the bin men were being rather considerate and weren't deliberately blocking the road. What's going on there?


As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about how the electronic giants have got the arse as the average punter isn't trading in their old mobile phone at the earliest opportunity any more. The average punter has realised the folly in shelling out for a new phone whilst the old one is still perfectly good. And consequently the electronic giants aren't getting quite so much easy money.

And the High Street favourite Wilco (so it was claimedis going tits up. The chap being interviewed on the radio summed up Wilco when he said that their business model was to fill the gap in the market left by Woolworths when they went belly up. Do you remember Woolworths? Did anyone ever go to Woolies as their first choice when buying anything? Woolies sold everything, but nothing of any quality. Woolies was the last place you went to for anything; usually out of a sense of desperation. Not really a sound business model, was it?


I got to work (via several Tree Houses - it's a Munzee thing) in time for the early shift, but the boss asked if I might stay for an extra couple of hours. On the one hand I wasn't keen. On the other hand I didn't really mind. Had I come home I would just have walked the dogs through the swamp that is Orlestone Woods, and getting filthy is something I've done enough over the last few days.


I came home a couple of hours later than I might have done. er indoors TM boiled up fish and hash browns (we’d run out of chips!) which we scoffed whilst watching the most recent episode of “Star Trek: Strange New Worlds”. It was rather good. I spotted half a dozen little throwaway comments linking to the original series; there’s plenty of continuity there if you pay attention.

It’s a shame that one of the leading characters is going to die. I won’t say which one though, but it ain’t the captain…



5 August 2023 (Saturday) - Lazy Rainy Day



Every morning I have a look at the Internet as I scoff toast. I hope to see what friends are doing (because I am incredibly nosey) but more and more the Internet is just one big argument. Today was no exception.


Despite the rain showers we got ourselves together and set off to Dog Club. I’d volunteered to take along the poo bag; a trivial and small job but it is something I can do. The rain held off, and the dogs had a great time chasing and playing. Morgan got very over-excited (as he does) and had a time-out. He’s funny – when you tell him time out!” he comes over looking very shame-faced and has his time-out. Bailey was generally in the thick of things. And Treacle tolerated the other dogs (mostly). We met a beautiful tiny Labrador puppy; we met Mika, Eric, Percy, a couple of Milos and all our friends. It’s funny but I know most of the dogs’ names, but very few of the people’s names.

There was a minor episode right at the end when we found a tick on Treacle’s head. The tick removal tool wasn’t any use at all, so we came home and I got it off with a pair of tweezers. As we drove home Steve was doing the mystery year on the radio… 1978. I got that from the clue about the release of “Evita” (the musical) which for no reason that I can explain I associate with the country walks I used to do at school one afternoon each week rather than take part in any organized games.


With the rain getting worse there wasn’t much to be done today. er indoors TM had a voucher for a free dinner from certain pubs (a birthday pressie from Shepherd Neame). One of them was in Tenterdan, so we had this idea to go hunt out the Adventure Lab geo-series which follows the Kent and East Sussex railway from Bodiam up to Tenterden before having dinner.

We settled the dogs and drove through the rain to Tenterden via Bodiam and all the stations of the K&ESR before popping in to The Vine in Tenterden for dinner. The Vine was surprisingly busy; I must admit I thought the service was a tad slow, but the food was very good. We’ve been there before – must go back again mid-week when they aren’t so busy.


We came home through the rain. The dogs weren’t keen on going out for a tiddle, but out they went. Some tiddled, one didn’t. And with the rain showing no sign of letting up I settled on the sofa (underneath the dogs) and watched several episodes of “Four in a Bed”. As usual those running the worst Bed and Breakfasts were the most critical. I love that show – it is so funny watching the opinionated finding fault with others doing a far better job than they are.


Having had a rather good bit of dinner earlier we just had some nachos and dips for tea. As we grazed we watched another episode of the new series of “Quantum Leap”. That show is rather good.


We had a rather lazy day today. For the first time in weeks (if not months) my step count was under five thousand. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t hit my step goal of six thousand.

I’m a tad concerned that Morgan hasn’t tiddled for eleven hours. I’ve taken him out several times but he hates the rain and stands on the door step wanting to come back in. Short of giving him a good squeeze I’m not sure how to get him to empty out.



6 August 2023 (Sunday) - Early Shift



As I got up (far too early) so both Morgan and Bailey moved into the warm spot in the bed that I'd just vacated. I made toast, watched an episode of "Shameless", then set off to work through a rather bright morning.


As I drove I listened to the radio. There was some drivel about how some young woman has bought a tumbledown farm and is trying to run the place on horse power. She was being interviewed from the middle of a field of stallions and whilst horses can drag ploughs about, this woman was far more keen to tell the world that she had a three-year-old son than she was to explain how a field of horses might generate enough (or any) electricity to run the house she was planning to rebuild.

Mind you she admitted that water was pouring through the roof whenever it rained, so maybe getting leccie into it was perhaps a tad daft right now.It soon became clear that this woman clearly had money to burn to be taking on a derelict farm and trying to restore it, and rather than getting annoyed (again) at people with more money than sense I turned over to my MP3 player and sang along to "Ivor Biggun" songs as I drove to Tunbridge Wells. 


Driving wasn't easy today; there was a rather expensive looking sports car being chased by a couple of old minis which would all fly past me at breakneck speeds, then presumably then took detours down country lanes to get behind me only to come flying past again.

I could have squealed them to the Old Bill; but the Old Bill won't do anything about the road racing that goes on along the bypass by the outlet centre in Ashford, so I doubt they'd want to go out to Sissinghurst or Goudhurst.


I stopped off in Goudhurst for a Skyland and a QrewZee (as Munzee-ers are wont to do), then carried on to work. I'd not wanted to work today; I seem to work so many weekend days. In between doing my thing I kept looking out the window at a rather glorious day.


Ironically as I drove home so the bright skies in Tunbridge Wells got darker as I headed east. I abandoned my plans to take the dogs to the woods as by the time I’d got to Ashford the sky was black. I had just enough time to feed the pond fish before the rain started. According to the forecast it should stop soon.

It rained a lot yesterday too…but here’s a thought. From the late 90s till the early 2010s we used to go camping several times a year over weekends from June to the August Bank Holiday. Every year the weather was far better earlier than it ever was later. August was often a washout… and still is.



7 August 2023 (Monday) - The Slidge



I suppose I slept well. Had I not had a nightmare in which lavatories were (by law) no longer available to anyone but regular churchgoers I might have slept a whole lot better though.

Over brekkie I had my usual trawl of the Internet. I had a wry smile at some chap posting to the local geocaching page suggesting that everyone else might put out themed geocaches about pubs. Geocaching, like every other hobby I’ve ever followed, is rife with people sayingwhy don’t you do…”, but you rarely see “why don’t we do…” and almost never see “I’ve just done…”.

This morning’s petty squabble was on one of the Facebook groups about the villages round Hastings. Several people claimed to have lived in “Staple Cross” as opposed to “Staplecross”, and others were putting them right. I suppose it *is* possible to get more petty, but it would take some doing.


I took the dogs out. Usually Orlestone Woods is our go-to place but when it is wet it is a swamp. So with the rain we’ve had recently I decided to take no chances. As we drove up to Kings Wood the pundits on the radio were giving out a suggested reading list for children on their school holidays.

Back in the day when I was on summer holidays I would walk out the front door shortly after eight o’clock each morning, and together with a gaggle of mates not come back for twelve hours. We would go to Fairlight sand quarry, the beach, the swimming pool… and never come to any harm. However kids these days dare not leave the house for fear of being murdered on the doorstep (but that’s a rant for another time…).

Pretty much all of the children’s reading being suggested was actually by non-English authors, and one of the suggestions for teenagers was the collected fairy tales of the brothers Grimm. It was claimed that the Disney and Pixar films have tamed these books down a *lot*, and that the original books are rather gritty.

I’m tempted to give them a go.


We got to the woods and did one of our “standard” walks. A shade under two miles; we walked it in forty-five minutes. I had a little tear as I remembered my Fudge pootling round at his own pace taking nearly an hour and a half to do the same distance, with me regularly putting him back on the lead to stop him wandering off on his own little missions.

As we walked we met two other groups of dogs. Treacle walked straight past ignoring them; Morgan and Bailey had a little sniff but came away when called.


We came home via the petrol station as the car was getting low on the stuff. I had hoped to eke it out until tomorrow night when I will be in Aylesford where the petrol is a *lot* cheaper but I’d rather spend out a little than conk out half-way between the -hursts and the -dens.

We had a cuppa and some cake, and then I set off through the -hursts and the -dens. I set off to work with every intention of checking on a geocache of mine near Goudhurst that someone couldn't find recently, and of going looking for one near Pembury. But I found so many sets of road works, then found myself stuck behind some steam-powered tractor thing (bearing a sign saying "slow moving - steam powered!). And there was the usual arrogance in Goudhurst where despite the road being incredibly narrow, no one is prepared to give any way. The journey which took just over an hour yesterday took just under two hours this morning.


I stopped off at Tesco in Pembury though  - I needed a sandwich, and got one or two other bits and bobs too. As I queued the chap in the queue in front of me was ranting at the woman behind the till about what a load of crap Tesco store cards are. He asked my opinion. I winked at the woman on the till, and invited him to watch and see what a piss-poor deal I got with the thing. The chap watched my stuff getting scanned, made a note of the total, and his face was a picture as I scanned my Tesco clubcard and the till knocked a full ten per cent off the price of what I was buying.

He wasn't happy about that...


Work was rather busy; far busier than yesterday had been. Far busier than I would have liked. And the journey home was problematical too…


And in other news, “Daddy’s Little Angel TM” tells me that “Stormageddon – Bringer of Destruction TM” has created the architectural masterpiece of the age; the Slidge. It is a combination of a slide and a bridge and combines the fun and benefits of both. Sadly it doesn't actually work, but in our world that is just a piddling detail.



8 August 2023 (Tuesday) - Before the Night Shift



I put a load of washing in to scrub then made toast and looked into a rather dull internet. There wasn’t much happening so I got the dog flea treatment stuff from the cupboard… and all three dogs disappeared. All three managed to hide. Fudge never minded the flea treatment – it doesn’t hurt – just a drop of jollop on the back of the neck, but Treacle hates it and she’s taught the puppies to fear it. What could have been done in seconds took an age as each dog needed to be hunted down and cornered.


With flea treatments done we went up to the woods. As we drove the pundits on the radio were talking about the England women’s football team who had played a game last night in which one of the team had (so it was claimed) deliberately stamped on one of the opposition. All sorts of reasons and excuses were being given because she got excited in a football match. Football, eh? If this had been in the high street we’d be talking about a prison sentence.

We got to the woods and set off on a longer walk than yesterday. As we walked we met other dogs, and mostly the encounters passed off without incident. Mostly.

There was some idiot fat woman with a huge dog on a lead. It was quite apparent that this woman wasn’t strong enough to hold the dog on the lead. The puppies ran up to say “hello”; I called them away. This could have been the end of it, but this woman followed us and wouldn’t give us any space. The puppies would go back to her dog; I would call them away. After a while she made some pointed sarcastic comment about Bailey’s size. In her world there is something admirable about having a dog which is far too big for you to be able to control. I didn’t rise to her bait. Eventually we shook her off.


Once home I hung out a load of washing then fiddled about as I set about coffee and cake. First of all a phone call to the vets. Having now pulled six ticks from Treacle this year (she’s never had any before) they are sorting out anti-tick collars for us to collect tomorrow.

I then emailed Hastings council and British Gas about the last outstanding issues on Dad’s estate, then wrote up some CPD.


I took myself off to bed, and woke three hours later to find Bailey curled up with me. It would seem she *can* jump onto the bed if she wants to.


Hopefully “er indoors TM will boil up some dinner soon, and then it’s the night shift for me…

The last time I had a night shift I had a serious sulk about it. Not so much this time. Probably because I resent a mid-week night shift less than a weekend one.

I still resent it though…



9 August 2023 (Wednesday) - Bit Tired



When I first started blood testing (all those years ago) we would only do blood tests on seriously urgent cases in the night. Being called in from home for each case it was rare to have more than half a dozen samples all night long. Last night I did over fifty blood counts and over thirty haemostatic (clotting) investigations.

And (in all honesty) by today's standards it was a rather quiet night.


I spent much of last night's shift thinking about an email my professional body sent me yesterday. They are launching a new initiative: "Become a biomedical scientist”  and are trying to get current biomedical scientists involved. Part of their email said: "While it is every individual’s own responsibility to inform themselves and make their own decisions when embarking on their career, as a professional body we have a greater responsibility to enable our future members to make the right choices at the right moments in their lives".

With that in mind I really can't get involved with this initiative.

Have a look at this table which compares the average pay rates for different careers (the data comes from official UK big data sources). What I do isn't listed (no surprise there) but the average pay for someone in my job is not much different to that listed for rail travel operatives, road construction operatives and office managers. But the average pay rate of what I do is after several years in post following a minimum of four years at university and includes (frankly rather poor) enhancements for working outside of "routine" hours.

I don't want to appear negative, but anyone considering the "right choices at the right moments in their lives" must consider money and work-life balance.

On the one hand people can choose to go to university for years and run up massive debts to then take on a job which involves being contracted to work at any time of night or day on any day of the year.

On the other hand people can choose not go to university and have a job which gives them evenings and weekends either free, or paid at sensible overtime rates.

There are those who might claim "there is more to life than money". But in my experience they are either rather naïve and impressionable youngsters with no experience of life, or those with far too much money.

Knowing what I know now, I would never work anywhere that doesn't periodically put up a "closed" sign.


As always I was pleased to see the early shift arrive. Just as they arrived so my phone beeped. A new geocache had gone live just down the road from work. Having got a First to Find on the way in to work last night I got another on a little diversion on my way home this morning.

I then set off homewards feeling suitably smug.

As I drove home through a clearly utterly unnecessary "Operation Brock" the pundits on the radio spouted their usual brand of nonsense. One bit made me sit up and take notice though. As India looks set to become the fourth country to land a space probe on the Moon it turns out that the UK has sent them over two billion quid in foreign aid over the last few years.


I got home, and went to bed for a few hours. After a late brekkie I took the dogs for a little walk. We went to Pets at Home to collect the tick collars I’d ordered. What with one thing and another I’d not sorted those early enough this year, but when we pulled a tick from each dog yesterday, something had to be done.

Pets at Home was hard work. The dogs were very over-excited, and having everyone wanting to fuss them was just a nuisance I could have done without. Usually I’m only too happy to have them fussed, but I’m never on top form after a night shift.


I spent the afternoon ironing then sleeping whilst watching episodes of “Shameless”. er indoors TM is sorting dinner. That and a bottle of plonk after last night’s night shift hopefully should be good for a decent night’s kip.

Here’s hoping.



10 August 2023 (Thursday) - Bit Dull



For the middle of August it was surprisingly cold last night. I blame “er indoors TM who turns on the fan in the small hours then wraps herself in the duvet.

I made toast, watched an episode of "Shameless" and had a look at Facebook. Squabbles abounded, as they always seem to do. Laurel & Hardy, garden ponds, Lego... you name it there is always someone trying to belittle someone else for the most trivial reason.

I tried to have a quick Munz session but the entire Munzee thing was still down. There had been some maintenance done on the Munzee servers which was supposed to have been all sorted by yesterday evening. Presumably there was more to maintain than they had bargained for.


I set off to work listening to the radio with something of a sense of amazement. University chiefs are recommending that students who don't get their first choice of course get in fast with their second and third choices as this year they are expecting stiff competition with more eighteen-year-olds than usual and a lot of international students all competing for limited places on courses.

I can't work out why people have second and third choices. If you get turned down for (say) maths, why on Earth then enroll for history or geography? If you don't get the course you want, why run up debts on something you didn't want to study in the first place?

Mind you apparently one in five university students now operate from the family home as the cost of living in digs or student halls is becoming prohibitive.


I stopped off at Tesco to get a sandwich (for the simple reason that I couldn't find my sandwich box this morning). When I came to pay there was a minor rumpus at the tills. One woman announced (quite rightly) that she didn't work there, and either Tesco could give her a serious reduction for using the self-service tills, or they could open a till for her. A till was opened, and immediately lots of people (including me) formed a queue for that till. So many that a second till had to be opened.


Work was work; again the newest staff were amazed to find that I had more tattoos than everyone else in the department put together.

After another dull day I came home. er indoors TM was a tad late back from the Godinton estate where she’d been on cat supervising duties, so we scoffed KFC as we watched the season finale of “Star Trek: Strange New Worlds”.

It was rather good – I didn’t see the (in retrospect entirely expected) twist coming.


The Munzee servers are still down…



11 August 2023 (Friday) - Early Shift



I woke in a cold sweat at half past four this morning following an incredibly vivid nightmare. Despite having been dead for nearly a year, the late Queen had a job for me. She'd decided that having the confidence to have such a small dog as Bailey meant that I was (to quote HM from my dream) a "double hard b*stard". Consequently she formally decreed that I was the very subject to kick seven shades of sh*t out of (as she said) that smarmy git Private Fraser from "Dad's Army". I tried to point out that "Dad's Army" was a fictional television programme, and that the actor playing Private Fraser had died over forty years ago ,but a royal flunkie pointed out that not doing what the late Queen told me was treason and I would be executed if I didn’t.

I didn't get back to sleep after that.


I got up, put toast in to cook, and as it burned I made sandwiches for lunch. As I scoffed my burnt toast I watched an episode of Shameless. I then had a quick look at the Internet. The Munzee servers were still down (for the third day), and there was a lot of consternation being expressed on the Star Trek related Facebook pages. People weren't at all happy to read the spoilers about yesterday's newly-released episode... Bearing in mind the show's season finale was released yesterday there were going to be spoilers. Don't look at the Internet until you've watched the telly. Dur !

Surely the experience of the last few years has taught us that?


I set off to work leaving myself a little time to spare. The journey to Tunbridge Wells this week has been problematical; taking as little as just less than an hour to almost two hours depending on the vagaries of the roads. Today there were no roadworks and I made good time. As I drove there was a lot of talk about the doctor's strike and it is quite clear that the same pundits on the radio who (only a few short years ago) had been encouraging us all to stand on the doorsteps clapping like demented sea lions for the wonderful NHS have had a change of heart. The pundits on the radio today have quite plainly taken against the NHS. But fighting the NHS strikes is somewhat counterproductive, isn't it?. As I pointed out earlier in the week, when considering a career, why would anyone pick anything medically related? You can get far more money for far less effort in a lot of places. Am I really being that cynical when I wonder if it won't be long before there's St John's Ambulance Service volunteers and scouts trying for their First Aid badge running A&E departments...


I stopped off at Tesco to get coffee. As I don't work at Pembury *that* often I get sachets of coffee. On Monday I got enough for two weeks...  and yesterday I realised that I have two a day (not one) and had only got enough for one week.

I also got a sandwich for lunch; I'd forgotten to pick up the one I'd made earlier and had left it in the kitchen.


Work was work. Managing to keep a straight face I had all the junior staff believing that today was Saint Mulligatawny's day and that they should all have a liquified dinner this evening; Saint Mulligatawny being the patron saint of soups, stews and broths. It's amazing what nonsense people believe *if* you can spout it without giggling.


Being on an early I got out early, but being at Pembury I didn’t get home until rather later than I might have liked. But it wasn’t as late as it might have been, and I took the dogs (and “er indoors TM) down to Orlestone Woods. We had a good walk, and as we came home we got the news that the Munzee servers were working again.

After a lot of farting about I was soon back Munzing.


er indoors TM boiled up a rather good plate of sausage and chips which we scoffed whilst watching “Lego Masters: New Zealand”. That too was rather good; marred only by the Kiwis not having a certified Lego professional of their own and having to borrow one from Canada.



12 August 2023 (Saturday) - Twelve Hour Shift



Again I woke up silly early. I always do when I have an alarm set. I lay wide awake for half an hour totally failing to get back to sleep either despite of because of all the snoring going on around me.

I got up and made brekkie which I scoffed whilst watching an episode of "Shameless" in which our heroes mistakenly killed a priest, and tried to dispose of the body in a sausage-making factory. Perhaps not the best place to dispose of the carcass, but if anyone else has any better suggestions as to what to do with a dead priest, don't tell me, tell the cast of "Shameless".


I set the dishwasher going and set off for work. A new geocache had gone live yesterday in Godinton. Someone had tried to find it yesterday and failed. I thought about having a look but Godinton was just a little too far out of my way this morning. Instead I went on a little Munzee mission on the way to work, as I can Munz quicker than I can hunt Tupperware.

Or that is I used to be able to Munz quicker than I could hunt Tupperware. After a three-day IT update the only difference to the Munzee game is that it now runs very much slower. Incredibly slower. I shouldn't be surprised though. Isn't this the case with every single IT upgrade? No matter what is being upgraded, there is no doubt that what happens behind the scenes is a wonder of science. But whatever the upgrade is, it leaves that which has been upgraded slightly less able to do the task for which it has been designed than it had been before.


As I drove and tried to Munz I listened to the radio. As Hawaii recovers from the fires that have run wild, there is now a mad rush to assign blame.

Back in the day we had "act of nature" and "these things happen". Nowadays we look for a scapegoat.

And our old friend science has discovered a sea monster. Wow - I was rather impressed... until I found out that this so-called "monster" is about eight inches long.


I turned off the radio and sang along to quality tunes as I drove to work. I stopped off at the little shop in Sissinghurst as they sell rather good steak & stilton pasties. Usually there's a little old lady behind the till, but this morning was a rather (incredibly) smelly surly-looking bloke. I really did hurry out of the shop holding my breath. What's the etiquette for dealing with a rancid shopkeeper? Do you say "Jeez, what a ronk?". I can't help but think that by maintaining a typical British reserve I've done no favours to those shoppers to come after me.


Work was work... I did my bit for twelve hours whilst looking out the window at a beautiful day.  There's no denying that I had a serious sulk. Dog Club is usually good fun and I wasn't happy to be missing it, or to be missing the mystery year contest on the radio either. But due to various catastrophes there was no one with whom I could swap.

And having left for work twenty minutes after sunrise, I left work twenty minutes before sunset. I’ve not done a twelve hour shift for some time.


I could have driven home listening to the radio. But a load of drivel about Madonna didn't appeal to me, and a radio play from 1969 featuring Wendy Craig appealed even less, so I sang along to Ivor Biggun as I drove home through the -hursts and the -dens.


I got home to mayhem. “Darcie Waa Waa TM had come for a sleepover. Having turned her nose up at chicken nuggets she spent a bit of time dog-snogging then trashed the living room and filled her nappy.

er indoors TM” is currently trying to settle her. I’ve wished her luck, and am keeping well out of the way.



13 August 2023 (Sunday) - Family Day

With “er indoors TM and “Darcie Waa Waa TM spending the night in the attic room, all the dogs went up too. Consequently I had the bed to myself and had nine hours asleep. Nine hours. Result.

I was woken by the sound of Darcie having a tantrum shortly after eight o’clock.

 We all got up and came downstairs. Littlun was repeating “nana nana nana” so thinking she wanted fruit we gave her a banana. She hurled that away; if she doesn’t want something, it gets thrown. Eventually she settled for a bowl of dry cornflakes and shreddies for brekkie with the dogs hoovering up what she didn’t eat. I had a bowl of cornflakes too – not had that for ages. It was rather good.
As we scoffed we watched “Octonauts”; a sub-aqua version of “Paw Patrol”, then went into the garden where we practiced our latest trick; “UP!!!”. For the uninitiated, “UP!!!” involves Darcie’s hands holding your index fingers for support whilst she then walks up and down the garden with you bending over to support her until the pain in your back is insufferable. My back was agony after five minutes.
After a couple of hours of “UP!!!” “Daddy’s Little Angel TM” arrived and said that “Darcie Waa Waa TM hasn’t really shown much interest in walking up till now. Perhaps we’ve started something here?

Needing food, we all drove into the town centre where Big Jake got us all lunch. An all-day breakfast went down rather well. We then drove the most recent fruit of my loins (and her entourage) out to Wye where they were visiting her in-laws.

We came home via the garden centre. Having filled three of the pond’s floating baskets with water cress, only one of them worked, so we got plants for the other two. I’m quite pleased with he pond this year. In the past it has always been a thick green soup over the summer, but this year it is nowhere near as green. I read that (whether I like it or not) a pond is going to have a lot of plant growth in it, and that plant growth can either be plants that I put in there, or floating algae. I’ve put quite a lot of plants into the splash pool and into floating baskets, and there’s a lot less algae this year.

With the new plants in place I hung out washing, strimmed the lawn edges, mowed the lawn, cleaned out the pond filter, hung out more washing, and then had a little sit-down.

Having had a rather big lunch we weren’t especially hungry this evening, so we scoffed nachos and dips as we watched two episodes of “Lego Masters: New Zealand”. It was rather good – and I pity the judge who has an incredibly difficult job. Mind you I can’t say I’ve agreed with hm very much, but he’s the judge, not me. 

Today has been rather tiring…



14 August 2023 (Monday) - My Idiot Magnet

I had a rather bad night's sleep, seeing every hour of the night. Eventually I gave up, got up, put a load of washing in to scrub and watched an episode of "Shameless" as I scoffed toast.

I had a look at the Internet. On Saturday I mentioned that a geocache had gone live locally but I didn't have time to go hunting for it. I saw that over the weekend others had tried but not found it, so I thought I might just possibly be the First to Find. I drove over to Godinton, parked up, and ten minutes later I added my name to the list of people who couldn't find it.

I headed off west-wards through the -hursts and the -dens on my way to work. As I drove I listened to the pundits on the radio. There was a lot of talk about the Bibby Stockholm barge. Moored up just off the coast of Dorset the ship was supposedly to house asylum seekers, but that plan went west when tests found legionella in its water. Whoops! This morning there was a lot of fuss about who knew what about the legionella. Not so much about the legionella, but who knew and who should have known. It transpires that neither the Home Office, Dorset council nor the contractors charged with running the boat seem to want the responsibility for the thing. I can't say I blame them.

And there was quite a bit of bitterness being vented at the NHS (again) as it seems that several cancer-treating targets are being dropped. I can't help but think that this is entirely what is wrong with the NHS. These targets are yet another scheme brought in on the whim of whatever political ideal was in vogue at the time. Over the years so many schemes like this have been forced onto the NHS and then dropped, with no one ever having looked to see whether they were good, bad or indifferent. Every time just as the latest way of working is starting to take effect so it is abandoned for the next.

I can't help but think that what the NHS needs is to be left alone.

I got to work; I did that which I had to. But the early start made for an early finish. I came home, collected the dogs and took them down to Orlestone Woods which were surprisingly busy this evening. As we walked we met six other dog walkers. We said hello nicely to three of them. One of them was “rather special”, with dogs on leads a mile into the woods, but we all just walked straight past. “Straight past” is something of a work in progress; this evening it worked.

Sadly one of the encounters was an utter disaster. Sometimes I wish my idiot magnet wasn’t quite so powerful…

We met them at the junction of three paths; father, precious pup and two very weird children with very noisy toy guns. On seeing us, father bundled up his precious pup and stood well back, looking on in abject terror. We walked past, but after ten yards the weird children started making all sorts of noises with their toy guns which they accompanied with strange howling noises. Of course Morgan and Bailey didn’t know what to make of this and started barking at them (to the weird children’s amazement and the father’s obvious horror). Eventually the weird children shut up, and Morgan and Bailey carried on the way we were going. When we were ten yards away so the children started their strange howling and started making noise with their toy guns again. So the dogs were back on the defensive until they shut up.

After this had happened six (I counted!) times I explained in a very loud voice that it was quite plain that father wanted us out of the way, and the sooner his two weird children shut up and stayed shut up, the sooner we could get out of the way. Father was amazed – he really had no idea that the pups were reacting to the peculiar behavior of his weird children.

The last dog we met was lovely; we met him and his mummy toward the end of the walk. He walked with Treacle (which was a major result bearing in mind how she hates other dogs) whilst his mummy told me about the strange man with two even stranger children she’d encountered earlier.

We came home; with “er indoors TM off bowling I washed undercrackers, ironed shirts and watched more “Shameless” as the dogs snored.



15 August 2023 (Tuesday) - So Dull



Yesterday evening I did something to my left knee; this morning it was rather painful. I suspect the poor thing is a bit tired having to carry so much weight about. Perhaps I should diet again?

I thought about diet as I had a shave, them made toast and watched an episode of "Shameless" featuring her who played the gobby secretary in "The Brittas Empire". For all that "The Brittas Empire" was a rather good TV show, apart from Chris Barrie and her who played his wife, I think today was the first time I've ever seen anyone else who was in "The Brittas Empire" in any other TV show. Has everyone else been typecast? Possibly. I can remember hearing a story that James Doohan (Scotty in Star Trek) wanted an absolute fortune to appear in the Star Trek movies as he'd never acted after Star Trek.


I sparked up my phone and had a little look at the Internet. Someone had asked a rather interesting question on the Garden Ponds UK page - why did she never get any baby fish in her garden pond. I've often wondered why I don't get baby fish in mine. Sadly not one of the fifty people answering the question gave anything other than sarcasm. If I were a moderator on the Garden Ponds UK Facebook page I'd be culling the membership rather heavily.

Mind you I suppose this is why the three Facebook pages I do moderate are so inactive.


Seeing no on-line update on that geocache I failed to find yesterday I set off westwards to work. As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about the latest craze to hit the youth of today - dares on TikTok. Apparently someone other dares the kids to do something, and lemming-like all the kids follow. Last week there was mass shoplifting in London. Previously there's been contests to see who can get themselves hospitalised the longest from deliberately overdosing on paracetamol.

Some so-called expert was wheeled on who wanted to know why the parents weren't getting involved. A valid point, but I can't help but ask what is the school's role in all this. Shouldn't they be teaching the kids right from wrong, and not producing what would seem to be a *lot* of half-wits.

There was also talk about how Donald Trump is facing more criminal charges following his attempt to blag the Presidential election three years ago.  The prevailing opinion was that he should go to jail, but what with the timings of his existing cases and his popularity in the polls it was suggested that he may well be taken to prison from the White House.

That would be entertaining.


My phone beeped as I got to work; our Munzee Clan has reached Level Two. A minor result for those who go round sticking bar codes to lamp posts. And realistically getting to Munzee Level Two was the highlight of the day. Work was dull, and being at Pembury meant I couldn’t get home in time to go to the beach this evening for the family beach party…

Not that I’m sulking…



16 August 2023 (Wednesday) - Rostered Day Off



As I peered into the internet over brekkie I rolled my eyes. The Munzee Facebook page had a message from Munzee HQ listing the failures caused by last week’s (so-called) upgrade, and they were asking for people to tell them what else wasn’t working so that they can turn it all off again next week to try to repair the damage that upgrading had caused. As I said last week, pretty much every “upgrade” leaves the upgraded less able to do the job it is supposed to do, doesn’t it?

There was someone asking the Facebook Garden Ponds page for legal advice because his neighbours were complaining about the noise of his fish pond.

There was someone ranting that the Lego corporation doesn’t sell empty boxes for those who collect empty boxes (apparently some people do!)

And there were some very bitter squabbles about people supposedly giving spoilers about episodes of “Star Trek”  that aired over twenty-five years ago. It would seem that there are quite a few people who have seen the latest “Star Trek: Strange New Worlds” and had no idea it is actually the tenth Star Trek series.


I took the dogs for a walk. We went down to Orlestone and unlike the last time we were there we didn’t see anyone else at all. Apart from Bailey eating a fox turd the whole walk passed off without anything noteworthy. We went round the woods taking a longer than usual route. Mind you this would have been a shorter walk in Kings Wood. Orlestone is a much easier-to-get-to wood than Kings Wood, but it is *much* smaller.

With walk walked we came home. As we drove out of the car park so my car beeped that it wanted more petrol. Last winter I mentioned that after the crash repairs the car was doing far less miles on a full tank of petrol; this time we got to just over five hundred miles before it asked for more. I’m seeing this as a good thing.


Once home I hung out washing, went and got that petrol the car wanted, and came home via the lock-up. When “Daddy’s Little Angel TM” moved out of Margate (three moves ago!) a lot of her stuff went into storage, and I got the last of it back out today. Mind you I’m always fascinated by the lock and store places. What is being stored in these places? Who knows? I always think of that hoard of stolen art treasures hoarded by the Nazis that came to light a few years ago. Are there untold millions behind the door next to mine?

Shifting stuff from lock-up into my car, and then from my car into the shed took rather more effort than it might have done.


I ran round the front garden with the bionic burner to get rid of the weeks in the cracks in the pavement. I might have been somewhat disparaging about the thing in the past… realistically it achieves the same result as pulling the weeds by hand, but it involves a *lot* less effort. Sadly the adverts imply that one zap with the bionic burner and the weed is gone whereas in reality they come back a couple of weeks later. But it is far easier to bionically burn than it is to pull by hand.


No day not at work is complete without a load of ironing which I did whilst watching episodes of “Four In A Bed”. Today’s shows followed the standard format. There are those contestants who go on the show hoping to learn from others. These are (usually) decent people running good establishments who do well. There are those contestants who go on the show hoping others will learn from their experience and expertise. These are (usually) rather arrogant little twits who do badly. And there are those who pride themselves on being “businessmen” who (invariably) can’t tell their own arses from holes in the ground.


I then ran round the garden with a watering can, and after I’d watered had a serious look at the planter I built a few months ago. At the time I bought six different sorts of plants to go in it. With a range of coloured flowers the idea was it would be a rage of colours all summer long.

It wasn’t (and still isn’t).

It’s pink.

Sadly the plants with the pink flowers have grown far taller than all the others. If you look closely the yellows and whites and reds are there, but somewhat mobbed by the pink. I shall have to do my research next year.


er indoors TM” boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching the fourth episode of “Lego Masters: New Zealand” in which bridges were built from Lego and tested to destruction.

I could do that; I’ve got enough stuff in my spares box…



17 August 2023 (Thursday) - Late Shift



This morning as I scoffed toast I read a rather amusing argument on the Facebook “Ridgeway and Ancient Tracks of Britain and Ireland” page in which people were arguing about the maximum length permissible for a dog to walk. Someone (who didn’t have a dog) had unilaterally decreed that fifteen miles was too much, and others who also didn’t have dogs were backing him up. Those who did have dogs (or experience of them) were being shouted down.

I can’t help but think that the dog himself is the best judge. My Fudge used to walk for miles – he did over twenty miles round Sussex with me once, and at the sixteen miles stage ran off (like a bullet from a gun) chasing pheasants. At the other extreme on a couple of occasions dear old Sid stopped after four miles and would not walk another step and had to be carried. Mind you I wasn’t going to tell the Facebook “Ridgeway and Ancient Tracks of Britain and Ireland” page that though.

I also had some issues with the graphics package I use to create the piccies I use on these blog entries. I’ve always used Paint Shop Pro, and while the thing can be downloaded in “trial” mode, after a month I have to pay for it. I’m quite happy to pay for it, but when I try to do so I get a rather unhelpful Windows “help” screen.

If any of my loyal readers can recommend a decent graphics package…


I took the dogs down to the woods. As we drove the pundits on the radio were talking about the England women’s football team who won some big competition or other yesterday. Mind you when I saytalking about”, the one being interviewed was “hysterically shrieking”. I wish they would just speak rationally rather than be so over-excited. It just makes me turn the radio off.

In any event I thought the England women’s football team won whatever it was last year?

We got to the woods; again we had a good walk round. But a short walk compared to the walks in Kings Wood. When he’s not been walked enough Morgan is very reluctant to come back to have his lead put on, and he wasn’t at all keen on the idea this morning.


We came home. I got pastries from the corner shop and had a look at MP3s on the Amazon store. I eventually downloaded Meat Loaf’s “Bat Out of Hell but it took some doing. I then wrote up some CPD and set off to work.

I'd had a message saying that some chap wanted to buy the spare bits for the old pond filter, but he'd not shown by the time I had to set off, so I left instructions for him with “er indoors TM and set off listening to my downloaded "Bat Out Of Hell"; I've not listened to that album for years. It was (and is) rather good. I played it one and a half times on my way to Pembury.


I stopped off on my way at Singleton Post Office as I had a letter to post. Over the years I've built up a mental map of Ashford but over the years pretty much every post box I've noted has since been removed. I suppose we have to wonder who actually posts letters any more when an email can do in seconds what a letter takes a week to do. Eventually I hit on the idea of handing the letter over the counter of a post office. The nice lady behind the counter agreed that was probably the best way to post a letter these days.

I also stopped off at Tesco in Pembury to get a sandwich. There was a new chap on the tills. Smiling and cheeky; I actually walked out of the place with a smile on my face rather than (as I usually do) mumbling under my breath about how unhelpful the staff are. I hope I see this chap again... Mind you I suspect he won't last.


I got to work for the late shift and did my bit (as I do). I sulked a little looking at the glorious day outside; I don't dislike my job, but it's no secret that after nearly forty-two years I'd rather not be inside doing it any more. But I did, and eventually the night shift arrived and I left them to it, and listened to "Bat Out Of Hell" one and a half times as I drove home.



18 August 2023 (Friday) - Before the Late Shift



As well as letting the pups out in the night for that which pups go out for, I turned the fan on for Treacle. She was incredibly breathless and panting at four o’clock. What was that all about? As I lay awake worrying about her so Bailey was constantly dabbing my head with her paws in her sleep.

I’d slept from midnight till four o’clock… what more did I want?


As I waited for the dogs to get up I made toast and depressed myself by looking into Facebook. I really shouldn’t grumble; I do OK really. But I get a tad jealous sometimes.

People who regularly post on Facebook pleading poverty were posting photos of their weeks-long foreign summer holidays. An ex-trainee (who recently moved into a mansion near Bodiam) was posting holiday snaps from her eleven-bedroom second home in France (which she lets out when not using herself).

I’ve absolutely no idea why I should be jealous of people’s holidays; for all that I enjoy going away, I invariably get homesick.

And a chap I used to know (who works in insurance) was advertising his house which is up for sale; the monthly repayments for a mortgage on that house would be a lot more than my entire monthly wage.

I would say that I wondered where I went wrong in life… but in all honesty I don’t think I’ve actually gone wrong; just not as right as I might have done.


After a few minutes of feeling sorry for myself the dogs swarmed downstairs and swarmed all over me. You can’t sulk underneath a pile of dogs. As they swarmed, they hoovered up all the toast crumbs I’d made, then had their own brekkie and we all went to the woods for our morning constitutional.

We had a good walk round the woods, meeting no one at all as we went. The walk was only marred by the pups finding someone’s discarded sandwich and scoffing most of it before I could stop them. Panicked by visions of idiots spiking sandwiches with poison (you hear these stories) I had a good look at what was left, but I couldn’t see anything amiss.


We came home; I gathered a bumper harvest of dog dung from the garden then sorted out coffee and cake. Yesterday “er indoors TM baked a rather good banana cake. I’ve given her my regal permission to make more of that(!)

I sparked up my lap-top and had a fiddle about on-line. Yesterday I mentioned I was having issues with Paint Shop Pro 7. After a little farting around I downloaded the latest version of Paint Shop Pro (in trial format). I don’t like it for the simple reason that it is different to what I’m used to, but I expect I will get used to it. After all I’m getting used to this new lap-top (albeit slowly). I just don’t do “different”.


Just as the forecast rain started I set off to work. Well, to the co-op to get lunch. I got to the co-op and saw a couple of young children having a full-on fight in the doorway. After a couple of minutes of waiting patiently for them to move it became quite plain that they had no intention of stopping (or even pausing) their fight. So I stepped over them; rolling my eyes at the manager-type who was chatting with the cashier. As I walked in the general direction of sandwiches I could hear the manager-type loudly asking whose brats were fighting the doorway, and an aggressive voice shrieking back demanding who wanted to know; clearly not happy at having to take responsibility for its children.


I then set off to work properly. Slowly. From Ashford to Bethersden I was in a queue of traffic stuck behind a dustbin lorry. At Bethersden the dustbin lorry turned off, but after a couple of minutes our queue of traffic was soon going just as slowly behind a horse box.

At Biddenden there were epic queues for Tractorfest - a festival involving lots of tractors. Add to this the usual hold-ups in Goudhurst and Sissinghurst and half a dozen sets of temporary traffic lights (for no apparent reason)...

Some days my journey to Pembury is easy, other days not so. I always say that whilst I quite like working at Pembury I hate going there.

Coming home was quicker, but the country lanes in the dark weren’t easy.



19 August 2023 (Saturday) - Before Another Late Shift



Anyone who reads this blog will realise that one of my pet hates is how nasty people are to each other on Facebook. But I saw a post this morning that left me speechless. Someone had dug out a garden pond, lined it with the weed-proof membranes that you put under gravel in the garden, and was asking why the thing wasn’t holding any water. Have you seen these weed-proof membranes? They are porous in the extreme; made of woven fibres they are designed to let water though. How could anyone think that these would hold water? Seriously? But faced with a very easy target, pretty much everyone on that Facebook page was being kind and helpful. Here’s hoping this is the way forward…


Being a Saturday morning I loaded the dogs into the car and set off to Dog Club listening to Steve on the radio. Every Saturday on the way to Dog Club there is a lyrics quiz; Steve reads out the lyrics to a song and we have to work out which one...  "Facing twenty-thousand of your friends, how can anyone be so lonely?" Do you know it? This was the first one I've ever known - Super Trouper by Abba. Go me!!

We got to Dog Club, and after a few minutes “er indoors TM joined us. Dog Club was rather busy this morning, but nowhere near as many of the bigger dogs were along. I got the impression that words have been said, and the bigger (quite frankly huge) dogs have graduated from the small dogs session to one of the later sessions. But there were plenty of small dogs to swarm about. There was a minor incident when some small child felt overwhelmed (and got a bit upset) by being mobbed by the dogs, but as the mother pointed out, if you are going to stand there with a bag of dog treats you can either give them out and the dogs will soon lose interest. Or you can stand there holding the treats and get mobbed.

Morgan ran round with his mates; I watched him get told off (by slightly larger dogs) a couple of times, which was good for him.

Bailey made a few heads turn as she screamed, but as I pointed out she was screaming as she was chasing the bigger dogs. They weren't chasing her. She was just excited.

Treacle even sniffed a few other dogs which for her is a massive improvement in her attitude to other dogs.

I did chuckle as we walked out. A woman who hadn't been along before fussed Bailey. As I walked away (with Bailey on the lead) I heard her saying to her friends "there's a man who's not afraid to be seen with a tiny dog".


As we drove from Dog Club Steve was doing the Mystery year on the radio. When did Jon Pertwee step down as Doctor Who? Steve mentioned he'd seen the photos I'd posted to Facebook from Dog Club, then mentioned me by name saying that the next record would give the mystery year away to me. I drove down the motorway grinning like a Cheshire cat listening to Sparks playing "Amateur Hour".


We drove to the Conningbrook Country Park; not somewhere we've ever been before. It looked rather pretty, but with signs everywhere saying dogs had to be on leads it isn't the sort of place we'd go. Mind you there were plenty of people with dogs ignoring those signs.

But today the monthly geocachers' meet-up was taking place there, what with it being International Geocaching Day, and if ever there was a day to meet up with hunters of Tupperware, it was today. So a dozen of us met up, ate doughnuts and talked about things geocachical for an hour.

After an hour, leaving everyone else (and “er indoors TM” and the dogs) behind I set off to work. Mind you I've worked on ten of the eleven "International Geocaching Days" that have happened whilst I've been a Tupperware hunter, so setting off to work today wasn't really anything new


As I drove up the motorway I found myself thinking about the little meet-up of geocachers. Looking back I think we took up geocaching at the right time. There were dozens of people keen on the hobby back then; our enthusiasm bounced off of each other and for many years we all had fun. Both in going out for walks and in meeting up. But over the years I think it fair to say that the novelty has worn off. Where a meet-up would have attracted dozens of people in the past, today we barely got one dozen along.

As I drove up the motorway (which is still now only a dual carriageway) I looked across at the miles of empty lane supposedly to be used as a lorry park for "Operation Brock". I suppose that this is better than the complete motorway closures that happened on the old "Operation Stack", but it is still (to coin a phrase) "a pain in the glass".


I got to work far earlier than planned. The original plan for the day had me working the night shift at Pembury, but what with shift swaps and illness and one thing and another I ended up doing the late shift at Maidstone. I got to work and went to the M&S to get a sandwich. As I swiped my Sparks card (M&S's loyalty card thingy) so the checkout laid an egg, and loudly announced that I was the day's lucky winner and that today's shopping was for free. Had I known that in advance I would have got far more than just a sandwich. But something for nothing can't be bad.


Work was far more like hard work than I had hoped it would be, but with it done I came home to an empty house; “er indoors TM was chauffeuring Cheryl about.

I made the most of watching the telly…



20 August 2023 (Sunday) - Rather Busy



The original plan for this weekend had me working last night and consequently asleep for much of today. I was glad that plans had changed.

I woke at half past six, rolled ever and slept through till nine o’clock. We then had something of a minor panic as we had to be up, dogs fed, and on our way within forty minutes as today was our monthly catch-up with friends over a spot of brekkie. We made it with one minute to spare.


It is always good to catch up with old friends; we put the world to rights, and in a novel break with tradition I had mushrooms and black pudding in place of plum tomatoes on my Full English and ate far too much.

From Café Express we drove round to Quantock Drive for the “Garage Safari” where people were effectively running boot fair stalls in their own front gardens. Working on the old maxim that “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” I went along with high hopes. However the old maxim is wrong. One man’s trash is actually another man’s rubbish. I honestly think the idea of having a boot fair in the front garden was that the front garden was closer to the car into which the rubbish would be loaded for a tip run. People were selling worn and knackered old clothes, tired-looking crockery, broken toys, and encyclopedias from fifty years ago. I had a transient moment of excitement when I saw a large tub of Lego, but that which wasn’t either broken or had teeth marks all over it was actually fake Lego.


We came home, hung out the washing, and cracked on with the day. Pausing only briefly to mow the lawn, my plan was to empty out the back bedroom. The plaster has blown (quite badly) and I needed to empty all the shelves and then clear space for the plasterer. I boxed up books that I haven’t read in years (and have no intentions of reading again). I found my old telescope; having spent a small fortune on it twelve years ago I used it twice and it has been in storage ever since. I found back packs which I was sure had been binned years ago. I found a brand new pair of slippers I bought to take on holiday two years ago. I found two broken printers which I’d been saving for no reason whatsoever. And as I tidied and cleared stuff out of the room I found loads of Lego minifigures which I’d obviously dropped on the floor over the years.


By the time I’d swept up and made good the afternoon had nearly gone. er indoors TM drove us all down to the woods where we had a rather good walk. We didn’t see anyone else as we walked, but we did do a little swamp-monstering, and there was a minor altercation with a dead blackbird.

I was in charge of washing dogs when we came home.


er indoors TM” sorted a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching another episode of “Lego Masters: New Zealand”.

I’m quite worn out, and there’s a busy day planned for tomorrow…



21 August 2023 (Monday) - Still Busy




As I scoffed toast I looked into the Internet. There was a post on one of the local dachshund groups. Someone’s dog has got dachshund intervertebral disc disease and was bemoaning the cost of vet treatments. It was claimed that the same treatment provided by local vets is several thousand pounds cheaper *if* you drive a few hundred miles to see vets up north.

My Fudge had this condition, and it cost us thousands. We might have saved a bit if we’d gone to a vet in Yorkshire, but he was under the vet with this condition for years. Are people so desperate to save money that they are prepared to spend an entire day going to the vet to drop the dog off for surgery or a day in dog hospital? And then another day collecting the dog?


er indoors TM announced the dogs had been fed, so I took them for a walk. We drove down to Orlestone, walked our usual walk of about two miles and didn’t roll in anything disgusting, didn’t wallow in any swamps, didn’t chase any squirrels, and didn’t see any normal people to upset. All things considered, rather dull.


We came home and the dogs went to sleep. I wish I had. I heaved a load of rubbish into the car, and then got all of “Daddy’s Little Angel TM”’s tat (that I’d got from the lock-up last week) into the hallway.

I took the car load of rubbish to the tip. That place winds me up; the staff there are incredibly petty and pedantic about what rubbish goes where, no two of them agree on anything, and what one bloke tells you today completely contradicts what the same person told you last time. For example the last time I went there I dropped a pile of scrap metal at the entrance to the metal skip. A member of staff had a grumble about why I should carry my rubbish to the far end of the skip and put it on top pf the rubbish already in there. So today I tried to do that and the bloke who’d grumbled last time when hysterical because (today) I wasn’t supposed to set foot in that skip but should pile the rubbish outside.

I then came back to base, loaded up all of “Daddy’s Little Angel TM”’s tat and drove it down to her. She wanted to go get more tropical fish, so off we all went. By one of life’s little co-incidences the fish shop is next door to McDonalds so we got some McLunch. As we scoffed I taught “Darcie Waa Waa TM to say “halibut”; that confused the nice lady in the pet shop when we came to get the fish.


With the first fruit of my loin (and her tribe) returned to their home I came back to mine. Yesterday I’d got the back bedroom to the stage where I could get the shelves (and fixings) off of the walls, and today I spent an hour doing that. It didn’t take much doing, but clearing up the wreckage afterwards was rather hard work.


No time off work is complete without ironing, and with “er indoors TM off bowling I ironed for an hour or so watching episodes of “Shameless” in which our heroes again “did the dirty deed” with their pants on.

I’m rather worn out… Again.



22 August 2023 (Tuesday) - Having a Rest



My morning routine was much the same as ever… up until I turned on the lap-top. Amazingly no one was squabbling with anyone else at all this morning.

I then spent a few minutes getting the dogs onto their leads. Morgan is getting quite troublesome before a walk; he simply doesn’t want to go out. Once we are on the walk he obviously has a great time. And if he doesn’t get a walk he is like a fractious toddler. But before we go out he runs from the lead and hides and clearly doesn’t walt to go.


As we drove to the woods the pundits on the radio were talking about the government’s announcement that they are spending a million quid to “support children attending schools in disadvantaged areas across England to learn and play chess, improve visibility and availability of the game and fund elite playing”. There were those who felt this was a lot of money… mostly these were those who were too thick to understand how to play chess. After all, this million quid is just pissing in the wind compared to how much the government spends on sports.

There was also talk about how the International Chess Federation has banned trans women (biologically men) from competing in women-only chess competitions. The head honcho of the English Chess Federation was wheeled on who made the point that the top one hundred chess players in the world are all men and made a rather good defence of the decision… Even though the English Chess Federation don’t agree with it and aren’t implementing it.


We went to Kings Wood today and went on a longer walk than usual. At Orlestone unless we walk in circles and back-track a lot it is difficult to get more than a three-mile walk in. I have a series of geocaches in Kings Wood on a (sort-of) circular walk of eight and a half miles. Today we did a walk of four miles. As we went we met three other dog-walkers; all within half a mile of the car park. We walked for an hour and a half, had had a really good (if uneventful) walk.


With walk walked the dogs were soon fast asleep in their baskets. I got pastries for me and “er indoors TM, and once we’d had them (with a coffee) I went on a little shopping mission.

When I left home (in September 1984) one of the very first things I got for myself was a fish tank. I’ve always had a fish tank. My current one is rather old and tired and just a tad too small. I would like one which has a footprint about six inches bigger in both directions, but is the same height as the current one.

I couldn’t find one.

I also need some sort of a huge hose-reel thingy for the pipe I use for cleaning the pond filter. I couldn’t find one of those either.


I came home. I had all sorts of ideas for things to do in the garden but it was a very hot day, and the physical effort of the last two days had taken their toll. So I sat on the sofa (with Bailey) and watched episodes of “Four in a Bed” in which a pub, a holiday complex and a hotel totally thrashed some posh woman who lets out bedrooms as a hobby.


And then the doorbell rang. The nice bathroom man came to measure up. Our current bathroom is a bit tired; my Dad installed it as a moving-in pressie some time in the early 90s. It is time for a new one. I’m dreading seeing the estimate, but what is money for if not to squander foolishly?


er indoors TM boiled up a very good bit of curry which we washed down with a bottle of hock whilst watching a rather good episode of “Lego Masters: New Zealand”. And then we watched Sky Arts’ “Landscape Artist of the Year”. This programme really is “The Emperor’s New Clothes” of our era.

Some of the paintings were *very* good.

Some really were pathetically awful; my eight year old grandson really could do better, and has done so.

Sadly no one was brave enough to saythat painting is truly crap”, and to ask who the (so-called) artist has porked to get on to the show.

I’m told that doing so is bad form…



23 August 2023 (Wednesday) - Early Shift



I woke in a panic at half past two this morning following a nightmare in which I'd been implicated in a plot to assassinate the Prime Minister. It had all been a horrible mistake stemming from “My Boy TM”'s plan to kick Boris Johnson up the arse whilst shouting "Take that, you smarmy f...er!", but somehow it all went wrong, the kick was a tad too vigorous (and went up the wrong arse) and suddenly we had a dead PM on our hands (or foot, to be precise).

I didn't get back to sleep after that; the dogs were taking up far too much bed space for three small dogs, and each was radiating slightly more heat that the summer sun.


I got up shortly after five o'clock, made toast and watched another episode of "Shameless". Thinking that there can't be many more episodes of that left for me to watch, I had a look on-line.

I've got twenty-six more to go.


And with telly watched I had a look at Facebook as I do. Yesterday it had been quiet, today there was something of a fight happening on a page devoted to strange things found on Google Street View. Some (rather thick) woman had looked up the place at zero degrees north (or south) and zero degrees east (or west) and was rather surprised to find it was in the Atlantic Ocean. Thinking this location had been chosen as the starting point for longitude and latitude she asked "What idiot chose this random place?". But sadly in doing so she gave a classic demonstration of the old adage "it is better to remain silent and be though a fool than to open your mouth and remove all possible doubt".

People weren't being kind to her.


Having had a couple of rostered days off, it was back to work for me today. As I drove up the dual carriageway which is the M20, I listened to the radio (as I do). It would seem that there is quite a bit of consternation in Russia in that criminals can volunteer for service in the army in the ongoing war in Ukraine, and after a few months then be released from both the army and their prison sentence. And so are free to go and make miseries of the lives of decent people who had been glad to see them being locked up.

And there was talk of the armada of small boats bringing illegal immigrants across the channel from France. (Note that these people are "illegal immigrants" and NOT "refugees"; they stopped being "refugees" the moment they set foot in mainland Europe and became safe). It was alleged that the French authorities aren't keen to chase after the small boats once they've left France for the UK.


Of course they ain't. Once they've left France, the French are rid of a problem, aren't they? Why did the French put the immigrant facilities at Calais on the north coast (from where you can see the UK) rather than on the south coast at Marseilles?


I got to work for the early shift and had a fairly good day but was still glad to come home. I took the dogs to Orlestone Woods where we had a very good walk. We went on a rather long walk (for Orlestone Woods) but despite walking for over an hour only saw two other dog walkers, and both of those withing a minute’s walk of the car park.


We did “boot dogs”; we came home. er indoors TM boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching more “Lego Masters: New Zealand”.

I do like that show… if “Lego Masters: UK” returns I wonder if I could sort out a team mate



24 August 2023 (Thursday) - Before The Late Shift



I slept better last night than I had the night before; even if I only had about eight inches along the edge of the bed on which to balance.

I didn’t hang around; with the plasterers coming at eight o’clock I wanted to get the dogs out of the way so that they could set up in peace. Admittedly the weather forecast was against us, but it was dry when we set off. We got to Orlestone in some slight drizzle, but (as I said to the dogs) “What are we going to do? Dissolve?So we set off on our usual walk. By the time we got to the third-of-the-way-round point the rain had become torrential. At the two-thirds way so the thunder and lightning started. At the point where the dogs go back onto their leads the puppies were hiding under a bush.


We hurried home to uproar. Before new plaster can go on, the old had to come off, and that was a very dusty job.

The dogs got a hot shower, and I wrung out my pants, put on a dry pair, then had a little look at the Internet.

I had a friend request from some young lady with a rather epic chest, but in a novel break with tradition, this one seemed to have it under control. If not a triumph for morality, at least it’s a step in the right direction. I downloaded bank and credit card statements to peruse over the next few days, then set off in completely the opposite direction of work.


I headed off east up the A28, remembering all too well that thoroughly miserable six years I had working at Canterbury. One of the more trivial things I disliked about working there was the A28 itself. The speed limit changes from national speed limit to forty miles per hour to fifty miles per hour to national speed limit again, and all possible combinations and permutations of those every few hundred yards. And at every stage is the very real possibility of a police speed trap waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting driver who didn't see the umpteenth change of speed limit.

On Monday I mentioned that I was looking for a large reel for the pond filter's hose. “Darcie Waa Waa TM's dad had sorted one out for me from his work, so I drove to an obscure building site near Sainsburys where I picked the thing up. As Big Jake and I hoiked it into the back of the car, a bearded chap wandered past. He was the foreman of that building site. Big Jake explained what we were doing; the foreman chuckled and asked if there was any other rubbish I'd like. This reel really was going to get thrown away, and the foreman couldn't work out why I'd driven miles out of my way to get what he honestly thought was fit only for the bin.


I then checked my phone. Earlier I'd seen an email about a new geocache going live in Whitstable. Whitstable isn't *that* far from Canterbury... According to my phone it was eleven minutes’ drive from where I was, and no one had yet found it. I set off, and eleven minutes later I had it in my hand. No one else had found it. I was first. Go me.


From there it was a pretty much straight run to work... or to the petrol station near work as I needed fuel. Petrol for the car and a sandwich for me. I went to pull up at the petrol pump but in my world things are never that simple. There was a chap standing by his car at the pump in front of mine who was chatting away to whoever it was filling his car at the opposite pump. And there was a rather dim-looking child (staring blankly into space) standing exactly where I wanted (needed) to put my car. So I waited. And waited. After a few minutes I beeped my hooter. The chap at the car in front looked up, seemed genuinely surprised to see my car, swore loudly at the dim-looking child, stopped his conversation with the chap at the other petrol pump, and started putting petrol in his car. The dim-looking child then blundered away, bouncing off of the petrol pump I wanted to use, and then stood staring into space blocking up another petrol pump.


I went into work and had a relatively good day. But together with everyone else I spent an inordinate amount of time checking the travel news. There was an overturned lorry on the motorway. Had the wreckage been cleared away? Could people get home up the motorway, or was everyone going to be in one huge traffic jam?

I took the line that being on the late shift all the traffic (jammed or otherwise) would have cleared by nine o'clock.

It had…



25 August 2023 (Friday) - Plastered



I didn't sleep very well last night, and gave up trying to sleep whilst it was still dark. Being still dark I didn't see all the stuff we'd moved out of the back bedroom onto the landing so we could get the room plastered, and promptly fell over it all.

Oh, how I laughed. Mind you I was amazed (and grateful) that the dogs didn't spring into "Red Alert".

I came downstairs and fell over the wooden reel I'd brought home yesterday.


I made toast and watched an episode of "Shameless", then had a little look at the Internet. Apparently there are gangs of teenaged thugs on the beach at Hastings hurling stones at passers-by, and (as is always the case) the police are nowhere to be seen. It was suggested that gangs of decent people go and "have a word with the children", and (just maybe) break the arms that throw the stones.

I can't help but think that if the police aren't going to do the job for which they are paid then this might be the way to solve the problem. After all, gangs of vigilantes wouldn't have to render many teenagers incapable of throwing stones before they got the idea.


As I drove to work the pundits on the radio were talking about power bills. The energy price cap is to fall so the amount that power companies will charge us will be capped at less than it has been. So our leccie and gas bills will be less than they were. However last year the government gave us all sixty quid a month for half the year to help pay our leccie and gas bills, and they ain't doing that this year, and so effectively the price of power will rise

Some windbag was being interviewed about bills; I don't know who this idiot was, but he was billed as something big in the energy sector. He said the answer was obvious... if people used less energy then their bills would be less. So there we are... shiver, have a cold shower and eat raw food.


Work was work. I spent much of it with a rather annoying earworm "Bertie, Bertie, Bertie the wonder glow-worm. He doesn't burp. He doesn't fart. He rides around in a hovercraft".

Where on Earth did that come from?

I also found out that not only had Alvin Stardust been dead for nine years, his real name was actually "Bernard". I'm not sure why that should have been quite such a disappointment to me, but it was.


I came home, and had a look in the back bedroom. The plasterer had finished and done what looks like a good job to me. Certainly it’s a better finish than anything I could do, but the burning question is “will the stuff stay stuck on the wall?

Time will tell; it always does.

Mind you I’m not keen on putting shelves back up on the new wall – I think I might shop around and see if I can get some free standing shelves.

I then got a coat of wood preservative onto the top half of my huge wooden reel (that only took half an hour!) then as “er indoors TM watched a German webinar about flogging candles I had a look at the monthly accounts. There’s no denying that they are far better than they were a few months ago. As part of this month’s sort out I organized the last payments from Dad’s estate – that only took a year to sort out.

Having said that, given the choice I’d happily go back to what the accounts were and have Mum and Dad back… but I’m not given that choice.




26 August 2023 (Saturday) - Before Another Late Shift



My phone had a message for me this morning. Apparently my EVRI driver Adam had been unable to deliver my parcel at quarter past three this morning. If I would log on to a very dubious website and give it all my bank account details and passwords they might be able to redeliver…

I suppose it only takes one idiot to fall for these scams for the scammers to break even, and the second idiot puts them in profit.


I made toast and had a look at the Internet. I had an email from the nice people at Credit Karma who told me that my score had gone up twenty-seven points in the last month, and was currently three points up on what it had been what I first joined them. The nice people at Credit Karma are very quick to tell me when my score goes up or down, but are very vague about what might make it go up or down.

There was an entertaining rant on one of the atheist pages I follow on Facebook where some religious crackpot had joined to “spread the word of the lord” and had found that the words of his lord were at odds with the words of the lords of the other religious crackpots who had also joined the atheist pages to “spread the word of the lord”. I follow one or two religious and anti-religious pages for a bit of a laugh… mind you one of them makes me very uneasy. When I was a lad I used to go to Boys Brigade which is all about tricking small children in to going to church and then brainwashing them. Looking back the Boys Brigade was a very dangerous organization which should be banned. It certainly did me quite a bit of mental harm. But when I was eleven years old I took my best friend of the time along. Sadly he really fell for all they were pushing, and he’s now a Baptist pastor in the West Country. I follow his church’s Facebook page; it’s macabre. My old mate regularly stars in their webinars in which he presents stark staring nonsense as supposedly being factually correct on a regular basis. He’s clearly deranged… and it’s all because of me.


I had planned to get another coat of paint onto my wooden reel after brekkie, but with a forecast of zero per cent chance of rain overnight I’d left the thing out, and it had poured hard overnight. So I carried on slobbing on the sofa until it was time for dog club.


We had a minor disaster as we drove to dog club; Steve wasn’t on the radio, and whilst his replacement was bravely having a go, he was sadly no substitute.

Dog Club was much the same as ever… it sounds rather dull; you can’t really big it up. It is forty minutes in a fenced area in which dogs run riot whilst the humans stand around chatting. But I love watching the dogs have fun, and the dogs clearly love it; our three squeal in excitement when we turn the car in to the Repton estate.


We came home, and seeing my big wooden reel had dried out I got some paint onto it. Again what seemed like a simple and straightforward job took ages. I then got pastries from the corner shop, and spent a few minutes on the lap-top before setting off to the late shift.

As I drove I had a phone call from Sky. Did I want to get a Sky Glass telly with them? I said I wasn't keen... and the woman on the phone immediately hung up. I thought that was a tad rude... I would ask if they want my future custom, but there's so few providers these days they've got something of a monopoly anyway.


I drove up the "Operation Brock" dual carriageway to work. The westerly bit of "Operation Brock" has been abandoned (for now), but the easterly bit is still in force... for no reason that I can fathom. Similarly there was a delay at the bottom of Hermitage Lane where one of the lanes of the dual carriageway has been coned off all week for seemingly absolutely no reason at all.

I also drove through glorious sunshine to work. I was a tad miffed as when I left home the weather forecast gave seventy per cent chance of rain. There were a few specks of rain as I drove, but I see "seventy per cent chance of rain" as being somewhat more impressive than not enough spots of rain to bother putting on the windscreen wipers.

I got to work and did my bit. After an hour or so the rain set in, and I chirped up a little. I don't mind working at the weekend if I don't think I'm missing much.


And with my bit done I came home to a very quiet house. Favorite smallest granddaughter “Darcie Waa Waa TM has come for a sleepover, and she is fast asleep in the attic room with “er indoors TM and all three dogs.

The living room is rather lonely, but I’m making the most of it and watching the telly in peace and quiet.



27 August 2023 (Sunday) - Family Bingo

Last night I saw that “Alien Covenant” was on the Film 4 channel, so I put it on, and then woke up at two o’clock. I went to bed and with everyone up in the loft room with “Darcie Waa Waa TM I had a rather good night’s sleep. I heard her chattering at eight o’clock so got up, had a shave and made toast before the mayhem started.


We had a good singalong to the “Bingo” song on “Lube-Tube” (as my grandson calls “You-Tube”), then had some assisted walking round the garden. Littlun insists on having her hands held as she toddles about. After a few seconds you get the world’s worst backache, and she wants to toddle about for ages.

Eventually she tired of it, and had her brekkie of dry cereal and grapes, and with her fed she then fed Bailey. She would take a handful of dog food and throw it at Bailey. Bailey loved this; I’m not sure which one had the most fun.


er indoors TM” then took “Darcie Waa Waa TM home, and I took the dogs for a walk. Orlestone has been an unmitigated disaster at the weekends before (as it heaves with normal people at the weekends) but although we met five other groups of dogs walkers today, the walk passed off without serious incident. The only problem was Treacle trying to pick a fight with a Rottie about ten times her size.

We came home; I got some more fence paint onto my huge wooden reel, then sat on the sofa with the dogs and slept until “er indoors TM came home.


The dogs soon settled, and we set off to Dymchurch for our family bingo afternoon. We had a rather good time; even if it did pour down at one point. I won one round, and emptied six bottles of ale down my neck.


All too soon it was time to say our goodbyes. I was all set to have a little sleep on the way home, but “er indoors TM suggested I might check the new geocache notifications in case we got home and found we’d driven straight past a new one. A couple of hours previously a new geocache had gone live a little way out of our way home, but with no logs registered on the thing we took a little detour out to it, and soon we had the cache in hand. First ones to find it too. Result (!)


We came home feeling rather pleased with ourselves. er indoors TM boiled up pizza and we watched the semi-final of “Lego Masters: New Zealand”.

I really need an early night…



28 August 2023 (Monday) - Dull Bank Holiday



I had an early night last night and got four hours asleep before needing the loo. I then had a pitched battle to get any bed space. How can such small dogs take up so much bed?


I put a load of washing in to scrub, and over brekkie I had my usual look at the Internet. This morning people were ranting about how we should use cash rather than credit cards; the implication being that credit card transactions cost whereas cash just goes round and round and round in free perpetual motion.

But it don’t.

Eventually the cash in your pocket will be deposited or topped up which requires a trip to a cash machine or bank, and costs (depending on who you bank with).

Cash does not generate interest when in paper form like digital money does, so you are effectively devaluing your money when you turn it into cash (especially right now when inflation is so high).

If my cash is lost or stolen, I’m poggered. If my card is nicked I’ve got some come-back.

Shops might not have the same costs on cash transactions as they do on card ones, but it costs them to count it all and take it to the bank. (I can remember my old boss (at the Harbour Restaurant in Hastings) going on quite a journey to the bank with two burly washer-uppers as bodyguards as he went to deposit thousands of pounds of cash several times each week).

Shops can also deal with far more customers per hour using cards than they can taking cash payments (which must go some way to counteract the cost of the card transactions).

On a personal level if I buy something for (say) £3.99 on my card, that’s what it costs me. If I pay cash I spend a fiver and the change just disappears.

I use my card whenever I can for the simple reason that it has been my experience that about one payment in two hundred never actually goes through and appears on my statement. This year I've had free fish and chips, Amazon e-books and fifty quid worth of clothes. In the past I’ve had free bar bills and tank-fulls of petrol.

And (like all government employees) my income is a matter of public record and therefore so is my tax bill. If people are paid in cash it is a lot easier to end up paying a lot less tax (not that *anyone* would ever dream of doing that!)

I then took a deep breath…


Our plan for the day had been a family beach day. But events conspired against us. So I got out the paint brush and put the last coat of paint onto my epic wooden reel.

I mowed the lawn.

I hung out laundry and put more in to scrub.

I gave the pond filter a seriously big scrub (as opposed to the routine fortnightly ones it gets), then washed myself off. No one said anything about fish poo when I first dug the pond.

I had a little look at the pond. The plants in the bog filter are now flowering and look rather impressive. Sadly the ones in the floating baskets look dead, but you can’t have everything.

I hung out more laundry and put undercrackers in to tumble-dry.

I pruned the stuff pouring over our fences.


After six hours I was aching somewhat. I went inside where “er indoors TM was putting the finishing touches to the assembly of our new table. The old one was poggered. But despite it being poggered she’d advertised it as a freebie on Facebook Marketplace and someone said they’d collect it at two o’clock.

I’m told they arrived at half past five; I was asleep underneath a pile of dogs.


The idea of a Bank Holiday is to have a bit of a rest. er indoors TM had been busy indoors all day; I’d been busy outside. But we thought we should do something today. So we took the dogs to Kings Wood for one of our shorter walks. Starting from the lower car park we did our two and a half miles walk. It was a shame that Treacle had to wallow in every muddy puddle she saw, but that’s the kind of dog she is.


er indoors TM boiled up dinner which we scoffed off of the new table whilst watching the final of “Lego Masters: New Zealand”. The new table is rather good; it is higher than the old one and so consequently has room to get your legs underneath.

And for all that today was rather busy, being able to eat dinner without cramped legs was the highlight.



29 August 2023 (Tuesday) - Dull Day At Work



I was up far too early again this morning. I’d been laying wide awake in desperate need of the loo, but not daring to go because getting up would mean surrendering the precious little bed space that I had.

I eventually got up and watched another episode of “Shameless”. I do like the show, but the writers don’t do their homework. In the previous episode the gangster family supposedly set up a blood bank in their kitchen using freezer bags to hold the blood. Seriously? And the plot of today’s episode involved a very junior trainee pharmacy technician being able to regularly steal large amounts of prescription drugs. Again – seriously?

I then had a look at Facebook as I do. Someone had posted to the Facebook page of the Gran Canaria hotel we went to last year slagging the place off. Someone else had posted to one of the Lego groups I follow trying to laugh at someone for spending money on a rather expensive Lego set. Both had obviously started off thinking they were the voice of the majority; both had been rather bluntly told to get knottted by the majority, and both had promptly left the “discussions”. However despite their having left it (and consequently being unable to see any further comments on their postings) there were still no end of people queueing up to join in the petty bickering.


I set off to work… or tried to. The cars in front and behind my car weren’t the ones that were there when I parked it on Sunday. The one behind had left me about a foot or so of space; the one in front had left perhaps six inches. There certainly wasn’t room to walk between the cars.

After a little to-ing and fro-ing I got out.

As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about how there is to be a revolution in the treatment of type two diabetes in the under forties following the revelation that people aged under forty with type two diabetes seem to have really bad disease progression pretty much immediately after diagnosis. This obviously gave rise to two possibilities. Either people are not getting diagnosed soon enough, or the current treatment is causing the disease progression. The expert being interviewed didn’t want to answer these points…

There was also a lot of air-time spent on the head honcho of football in Spain. The chap got rather excited when the Spanish team won the women’s world (football) cup last week and kissed one of the players. From what I can work out this was a spur-of-the-moment thing caused by the excitement of the moment and could (and should) have been forgotten about as soon as it happened. But a week later there’s consternation all around the world about the matter. The poor chap seems to have only one ally worldwide (on reflection I think I shall remain neutral!); his mother, who is currently in some church somewhere having a hunger strike in his defence.


Work was rather hard work today Even though there was cake, I was rather glad to get home.


er indoors TM boiled up a very good dinner which we washed down with a bottle of plonk whilst watching more episodes of “Bake Off: The Professionals”. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t have walked out of the Harbour Restaurant’s kitchen in early September 1981 but stayed on and studied cooking rather than blood testing… Could I have ended up on “Bake Off: The Professionals”? Possibly…



30 August 2023 (Wednesday) - A Day Off



For once, pretty much nothing was kicking off on social media this morning, so once I’d scoffed toast I got ready for the off. I’d booked today as a day’s holiday as “Daddy’s Little Angel TM” had some errands to run, but she’d changed her plans. So rather than cancelling my day off, I thought I’d take it anyway.


I took the dogs out. With no burning need to hurry home we went up to Kings Wood. Orlestone is a nine-minute drive away; Kings Wood is twenty minutes, but a much bigger wood with a lot less mud.

As we drove the pundits on the radio were talking about the summer’s various festivals that had taken place. Apparently every year about a quarter of a million tents are left behind at festivals in the UK. This was always a problem; back in the day there used to be a biker’s meet-up on the Romney Marsh and after they’d gone the landowner would offer free tents to anyone who wanted to come along and take one away, but now the numbers of tents have got too many, and the things are gathered up and chucked into landfill by commercial companies.

I found myself thinking of the years when we used to go to kite festivals and spend hours taking our camp down. Perhaps we should have just said “sod it” and left them all behind?


We got to the woods and took a rather circuitous walk… because we could. We went for (almost) five miles and as we went we met two other dog walkers and one group of forestry commission workers. Morgan ate blackberries from the brambles, Treacle waded in swamps, Bailey was the one who would disappear, but would come back when called.

But they seem to be getting better at posing for the camera.


After five miles we got back to the car, and came home. The dogs were soon snoring so I popped up the road to get some pastries, and also to chat up the scaffolders. Our washing line is held up by three scaffold poles. They were old when we moved in thirty-two years ago and are now rusting through at the bottom. It can only be a matter of time before they collapse so I’m on the lookout to replace them. The scaffolders didn’t have any spare… shame. I eventually found what I need (what I actually need; not what I can bodgeon Amazon. So do I replace the poles now… or wait for them to collapse? They might collapse tomorrow; they might do another few years. Mind you the ones on Amazon are quite a bit shorter than the ones that are currently in the garden… if any of my loyal readers are walking past a building site…

And then I smelled something. I looked down – the mostly white Bailey had a rather odd-looking yellow smear on her neck. Fox poo! She wasn’t happy about being woken and scrubbed in the bath. And then we found some rather yukky marks on Morgan’s back. He wasn’t pleased to be chucked in the tub either.


As I have said many times before, no day off work is complete without a couple of hours spent doing ironing, and today was no exception. As I ironed I watched a couple of episodes of “Shameless” then wrote up a little CPD.


er indoors TM sorted out a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching more of “Bake Off: The Professionals” which tonight I couldn’t take seriously. Things started badly with one of the judges talking about “dickhead pastry”. Having rewound and replayed a couple of times we think he actually meant “decadent pastry” and I misunderstood the accent. From then on my attention was divided between the amazing baking and the dreadful haircuts. And one of the contestants was wearing a rather obvious wig. What’s the etiquette when seeing someone wearing a frankly dreadful wig? Do you politely try to keep a straight face, or fall about pointing and laughing? I can’t say I’m happy being a slaphead, but the alternative is far worse. Isn’t it?



31 August 2023 (Thursday) - Another Dull Day



With an alarm set I was up far too early as I always am when I have an alarm set. I watched some "Shameless", then had a little look at the Internet just in case something amazingly different had happened overnight.

It hadn't.

There were loads of people squabbling on Facebook about how "un Star Trek like" the most recent episodes of Star Trek had been; all of these people proudly showing off how little they'd actually watched the program. And quite a few people on my Facebook friends list were posting from places abroad. As is so often the case, the more these people plead poverty during the year, the more exotic their foreign holiday. Or holidays... as they have several.


I set off to work and as I drove I listened to the radio. As I drove there was a lot of talk about high street shops closing. Wilko, Boots, M&S, Iceland... the list is growing.

The amazing revelation was made that this is because of on-line shopping and how people can order stuff from the comfort of their living rooms without the aggro of having to go to a shop and face the Great Unwashed. The chap being interviewed seemed to think this was rather surprising ... he really did. He went on to say that on-line shopping is all very well for the younger generation, but it isn't something that the older ones among us can do; the implication being that if you were over fifty then the twenty-first century had rather passed you by. I thought that rather rude. Realistically being able to use the Internet today is akin to being able to read or write. If you can't do so, there's plenty of help out there.

Let's be honest - the only people who are IT illiterate are those who choose to be.

There was also a lot of talk about how Chief Constables are to have the right to sack bad coppers. The police unions felt that in theory this was a good idea, but in practice there might be those Chief Constables who would use these powers to settle old scores. They might be right.

The point was also made that public confidence in the police is at an all-time low. I must admit I've no respect or confidence for the police. Here's a suggestion... why not make being a police officer compulsory for everyone for a period of time just like National Service used to be. If we've all done it, we might just be a tad more understanding of the Old Bill?


I got to work for the early shift and had a rather busy day... matters weren't helped by my having the theme tune to "Tiny Toon Adventures" stuck in my head. But an early start made for an early finish, and seeing the forecast rain hadn’t happened I took the dogs down to Orlestone Woods where something odd was going on. Or, to be precise, two somethings odd.

There was a hippy camper van in the car park which had clearly taken up residence; there was a washing line set up out of the back of it with all the hippy laundry drying. I tried to take a photo, buut couldn’t do so without being obvious.

And the wooden bollard (to keep motor vehicles out of the wood) had been removed. Removed very cleanly. The thing had obviously been lifted out of the hole. But to lift it out without disturbing any of the surrounding soil must have taken specialist equipment. And had it been done “officially”, a gaping hole wouldn’t have been left. Fortunately someone had stuck a stick in it to make the thing obvious otherwise I (for one) would have fallen into it.

Had the hippies removed it, or were these two unrelated somethings?


er indoors TM got kebab for tonight’s dinner. It was rather good, but I think my scoffing all the chilis was a silly idea.