1 April 2026 (Wednesday) - Early Shift

I was sleeping like a log when my phone went absolutely mental in the small hours with no end of notifications despite its internet connections being switched off. Just as I was nodding off again so “er indoors ^TM” took Treacle for a “quiet” tiddle. I wasn’t getting back to sleep after that.

I got up, made toast and had watched an episode of “Derek” before having a look at the Internet. Nothing much had changed overnight. I had some emails… people had been out in Kings Wood looking for my geocaches. I’d replaced a missing one a couple of weeks ago – these people had found the original.

There wasn’t much else happening on-line at half past five this morning so I got ready for work and set off.

I drove west-wards through the -hursts and the -dens. It was rather dark and rather foggy this morning. As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about the war in the Middle East which Donald Trump now claims will be over in a couple of weeks. That bloke says a lot of things… sadly much of which turns out not to be the truth.  Is he bending the truth to suit his agenda? Is he deliberately lying? I realised that my experience of the bloke is purely that which I see of him in the news, but he reminds me of the more feeble-minded cub scouts with which I dealt with as a scout leader many years ago. The rather simple children would just spout the first things that came into their heads. It can be rather endearing in an immature eight year old, but it is rather worrying in a world leader.

I suppose (if nothing else) it is yet another example of the ultimate futility of democracy.

There was also talk about the Artemis II which is supposedly going up later. I hope it does. There was someone on the radio from the Open University being interviewed on the radio this morning who echoed what I said yesterday; the Americans are running scared that the Chinese will get to the Moon first (this time).

I stopped off at Tesco where I got a sandwich and filled the self-service machine with all the change from Saturday’s Dog Club. The staff didn’t care today, but the old biddy in the queue behind me wasn’t happy about it. She was giving a running commentary to anyone who would listen about how much change I was putting in the machine and how long she’d been waiting to use the machine herself. For no reason that I could work out it was (apparently) vital that she had to use the machine I was using; the other seven just weren’t good enough for her.

I got to work and had a very busy day. I’ve mentioned before that I wouldn’t recommend working anywhere that regularly has “Red Alert” declared. Unlike Captain Kirk’s our Red Alerts don’t involve coming under phaser fire from irate Klingons, but I’d still rather not have them.

I was glad when it was home time. And being on the early meant I got home much earlier than usual.

I had a vague idea of taking the dogs to the woods, bit once we’d done “FEED THE FISH” they all went back to sleep, so I didn’t bother.

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up Katsu chicken which we scoffed whilst watching “The Hunt: Prey vs Predator”. It’s a rather good show not entirely unlike the wide games I used to play with my mates in the sand quarry at Fairlight with my mates fifty years ago. And the kit they wear puts me in mind of the seventies sci-fi show “Logan’s Run”.

I’d like to stay up to watch the Artemis II launch, but I’m falling asleep and it don’t go up till nearly half past eleven…

2 April 2026 (Thursday) - Doing Overtime

Another bad night. I got to sleep quickly, but “er indoors ^TM” and the dogs came up shortly after. Treacle settled; sadly Morgan and Bailey decided to have a pitched battle. And once they finally shut up and I nodded off again I found myself in a nightmare in which I was trying to force-feed ham sandwiches to the American ambassador.

I got up at five o’clock, made toast, and once I’d watched an episode of “Derek” I sparked up my lap-top and peered into the Internet. The Artemis II took off last night and is now on its way. And not a lot had happened on Facebook overnight, which was probably for the best. I posted out birthday wishes to the two Facebook friends having birthdays and got ready for work.

I set off up the motorway only to find the "Operation Brock" stupidity was back. Here's a thought. Last year our Reform UK councillor said that Reform UK would be putting a stop to Operation Brock. I wrote to him and in his reply he was crystal clear that Operation Brock was a thing of the past. Hasn't happened, has it? And they put the council tax up when they said they wouldn't, but that's another rant.

As I drove (at about forty-three miles per hour) the pundits on the radio were talking about the Artemis II launch. For all that I'm excited about it, the rocket went up, and that was it (for the moment). It could be announced in about fifteen seconds; they did go on about it at length without actually saying anything.

I think there was some talk about how the world is lunging into economic disaster; the so-called expert brought on to talk about it couldn't speak very good English and so the five minute interview was frankly incomprehensible. 

And there was talk about ex-Prince Andrew who's still in trouble and is going to be interviewed by the rozzers again.

I stopped off in Sainsburys for a sandwich. I got a couple of bottles of beer whilst I was at it. The self-service till said I had to be age-checked. You'd think the machine's camera which films the entire process would be able to tell I was old enough to buy a bottle of beer, wouldn't you? The moody old bat who had to get off her arse and come over to press the "he's old enough" button made no secret of her displeasure at having to get off of her arse. I've mentioned her before. She really shouldn't work in any customer-facing role. She clearly hates the general public and never speaks, though occasionally there's a bad-tempered grunt *if* she's in a particularly good mood.

I went on to work. Today was an extra day - I'd offered to help out with the new IT system.  In order to test the thing we need to have created various dummy patients on the system. Personally I use "KIRK - Captain" as my test patient. Others use "FROG - Kermit The" or "POTTER - Harry"... Occasionally someone will use "PATIENT – Test”, but I don’t hold with such normality There's probably something that a good psychologist might make of this.

For all that I whinge about Operation Brock, my journey home today was easier than yesterday’s. Yesterday I had to emergency stop to avoid the cars reversing (without looking) out of farm tracks, the cars coming head-on at me on the wrong side of the A262, and the cyclists randomly blundering all over the A28. Today I just set the cruise control and kept going in a (more or less) straight line.

One home I gathered up the dogs and took them down to Orlestone where we had a good walk. We didn’t roll in anything, or wallow in anything. We did find a dead squirrel, but it was that rank that no one wanted to carry it.

And with walk walked we came back home where we did “FEED THE FISH”. I harvested another bumper crop of dog dung, and had a fight with Microsoft Copilot. I asked it to make a picture of Captain Kirk, Kermit the Frog and Harry Potter sitting in a hospital waiting room. It refused because that would be a breach of copyright. So I asked it to make a picture of a man in a Star Trek uniform, a frog and a boy with glasses sitting in a hospital waiting room and it produced the picture above. Go figure.

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching more episodes of “The Hunt: Prey vs Predator” which has taken a novel twist. For all that it is effectively a game of chase, there’s only one in the chasing team capable of speeds in advance of a brisk walk.

I’ve got a day off tomorrow (it’s a Bank Holiday). I’m not liking working these extra days…

3 April 2026 (Friday) - Good Friday

I made the mistake of going to the loo in the small hours and came back to bed to find I’d got an eight-inch wide strip down the edge of the bed in which I could try to get back to sleep. I tried to push the dogs over, but there’s some strange feature of canine physiology by which a dog’s weight increases ten-fold when they are asleep.

I managed to get back to sleep, and despite the noise of the bin men I stayed in my pit until after eight o’clock.

I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet. What with it being Good Friday someone had gone onto one of the Lego-related Facebook pages and put up a picture of a Lego model of Jesus on the cross. That stirred up no end of arguments.

And there was (yet another) argument about… well to be honest on the one hand were “women born in the wrong bodies” and on the other hand were “men in dresses” depending on your personal perspective. Whatever you call a trans woman, should that person be allowed into women-only spaces? Various arguments were ranted on both sides, but as is always the way in life the ultimate decision will be made by the one who will make the effort to shout the loudest.

And on those lines a local councillor was on one of the local Facebook pages making a personal attack on another local councillor.

I had an email. PayPal have given Avast Software fifty quid for a lap-top tune-up package which I neither needed nor wanted. I asked for a refund… eventually. The PayPal website wasn’t the easiest to navigate through.

I also went through the Avast site where a bot offered to refund sixteen quid. I told it to get knotted and it offered twenty-seven quid. I told it to get knotted again and it eventually refunded the lot but would seem to have cancelled my antivirus package too.

I Munzed. The Munzee Clan War started today. I Wordled from “money” through “saner” and “sends” to “singe”, and we got ready for the off.

“er indoors ^TM” had reports of issues with her geocaches in Hamstreet woods, so we took the dogs there for a look-see. The dogs were mostly well behaved but there were a few issues with rolling in fox poo and eating horse poo. Geocaching-wise we sorted the issues, but as usual there wasn’t anything wrong that couldn’t have been put right in less time than it took to whinge that there was an issue.

We came home via the garden centre at Hamstreet. They didn’t have any polyanthuses. What was that all about?

We had a cuppa. “er indoors ^TM” wrote up the geo-admin stuff from the morning’s excursion. I wrote up some CPD, and looked at various options for antivirus software. Like with everything there were as many options as there were people to suggest them. But one bit of advice was useful – don’t go with the “auto-renew” option. Let the company prompt you at renewal time; threaten to go to a competitor and you’ll get a bargain. Like I’m hoping to get by not continuing with my current antivirus supplier.

We did “FEED THE FISH” and when I topped up the fish food tub I saw that I’d emptied our back-up supply. Good old Amazon will send some more in the week. Hopefully.

We got the infinity Table out and spent the evening playing “Ticket To Ride”. There was a minor hiatus for kebabs and dog dinner. At half past eleven the score was declared. Ten-nil. I lost…

“Good Friday”… it wasn’t bad really. Back in the day Good Friday would have been one big booze-up at the Chambers beer festival in Folkestone. Those were good days, but I would (quite literally) piss over a hundred quid up the wall every time. After a few years of doing this, Good Friday became a five mile geocaching walk with over forty friends followed by a few hours in the pub.

COVID and lockdowns put paid to the social side of geocaching (it is slowly recovering)

More recently Good Friday has been either working, a hike or gardening. The plan for today had been a hike, but with friends being unwell we postponed that plan. And it was too cold for gardening…  I might do some tomorrow.

4 April 2026 (Saturday) - Rather Busy

I slept reasonably well… for the last year or so I seem to have been plagued with very vivid dreams of finding myself at Open University summer schools with no reason to be there… I wonder what that’s all about?

I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet. Yesterday I mentioned that a local councillor was using Facebook to launch personal attacks on another. I made the comment “It is such a shame that local government has sunk to the level of personal attacks on social media” and amazingly no one wanted to quibble with me, and several people had agreed. Another local councilor commented that she agreed with me, and went on to say what a thankless task local government can be. No matter what you do, there will be people (who’ve never actually got off their arses themselves) waiting to find fault.

It was the same back in the day with the county-wide Star Trek club, the snake club and the astro club. Everyone would say “why don’t you…” and never “why don’t we…”. Everything that was done was wrong, but there were never any ideas or suggestions for what might actually be done.

Maybe if the people who run local councils were appointed by lot (in much the same way that people get called up for jury service) then those finding fault would have some understanding of that with which they are finding fault.

And I found out that the actress who played Private Godfrey’s sister in Dad’s Army was in real life the wife of him who played Captain Mainwaring. One lives and learns.

I Munzed and Wordled from “hurts” through “scale”, “sappy” and “savvy” to get “sandy” on the fifth attempt.

Steve was doing the Guess The Lyrics competition on the radio as I pootled. “This is a song to all of my friends, they take the challenge to their hearts”. No? – I had no idea either. It was “New Song” by Howard Jones.

I drove round to Dog Club and got set up. “er indoors ^TM” followed with the dogs. Dog Club went rather well; we had quite a few new dogs along. The new dogs were a bit overwhelmed at first, but within a few minutes they were all running and playing and scoffing treats with all the other dogs. And the new dogs’ humans were also a bit overwhelmed at first, but within a few minutes were chatting with everyone else and enjoying the fun. We had (I think) twenty-three dogs along today, and we all had a great time.

If only more dog owners could see how dogs can get on so well.

All too soon it was time to go. “er indoors ^TM” was off to craft club. The dogs would just keep looking for her, so I took them home when she went.

As we drove Steve was on the radio doing the Mystery Year competition. When did Freddie Laker get knighted? When was Mr. Blue Sky in the charts? The embarrassingly named Cloppa Castle was on the telly… and there was some cricket match in which someone or other took eight wickets. Or “winnets” as Steve said. He got away with it but I did chuckle… It was 1978.

Once home the dogs soon settled. I made myself a cuppa and made some AI photos for the Dog Club’s Facebook page. Then I got busy… I did the dogs’ flea treatments then ran out the lawnmower… and after about five seconds turned it off to harvest more dog dung. I’d cleared it all before I started, but between getting shot of all the turds and getting the lawnmower out, one of them had added a late offering.

With the lawn eventually mowed I had a preliminary zoom round with the garden vacuum. And then I ran out the pond hose and cleaned out the pond’s pressure filter. You really can see how the thing flows faster after a cleaning.

I had a look at the cordyline (it’s a plant). It don’t look too clever. I don’t think it’s dead though. Not yet anyway. I’ll see what a dose of plant food does for it. I had some in the shed and doshed some out to the potted plants which had survived the winter. There were also some weeds in the plant pots. They got chucked… though to be honest it was tricky to see what was wanted plant and what was unwanted weed.

I had a look at the fence panels. They look shabby. I keep talking about replacing them. Mind you when I say “replacing them” I really mean “paying someone to replace them for me”. The actual replacing isn’t an issue; it’s the having the new ones delivered and getting shot of the old ones that would be arse-ache.

“er indoors ^TM” came home from craft club and sorted us a cuppa and a hot cross bun. We had some Morrison’s hot cross buns… they aren’t very nice.

We then took the dogs out plant shopping. We went to Bybrook Barn where maybe one person in twenty realised that they were in a busy garden centre. Pretty much everyone was blundering about totally oblivious to everyone else around them. We got some bedding plants, but no polyanthus. Apparently they are now out of season. We went on to Dobbies where we got some polyanthus in the “reduced” section. And some little goldfish for the small pond.

“My Boy ^TM” and ”Auntie Chel ^TM” called round. They’d been tidying up their garden and had some statues that were surplus to requirement. Did I want them? Yes please!!!  We got them into the garden; I shall do something with them tomorrow.

And then, with the Infinity Table not having been put away since last night, “er indoors ^TM” and I had another go at various maps of “Ticket to Ride” which I eventually won (four games to three).

If any of my loyal readers fancy an evening of drinking beer whilst laying virtual train tracks round various maps of Europe, America and Asia, you’d be very welcome…

5 April 2026 (Sunday) - A Walk, Gardening...

Morgan had got off the bed in the night. When I came back from the loo at five o’clock he was looking hopeful so I lifted him up past Treacle’s glare.

Back in the day I would have got up at five o’clock on Easter Sunday. I would have gone to our local church (just down the road) and set up all the tables and chairs. Friends of the time would then have got the kitchen orgnised and I and others would walk up to North’s Seat; the highest point for miles around. We Methodists used to organise a “Son-Rise” outdoor church service where we would sing and pray. We’d be joined by the local C of E congregation, the local Catholics and the Baptists. The Jehovah’s Witnesses would always be invited to join with us. Every year they sent a little delegation who never joined in, but stood and watched from fifty yards away.

And once the sun had risen we’d take everyone back to our Methodist church where we’d give everyone brekkie. Everyone except the Jehovah’s Witnesses who flatly refused to have anything to do with us.

I wonder if that still goes on in Hastings.

But I didn’t get up at five o’clock today. I went back to bed and stayed there until half past seven. I got up, made toast and had a look at the Internet. It was much the same as ever… but I chuckled at the adverts in my feed. Yesterday I mentioned the iffy fence panels and that we’d bought some bedding plants. This morning I was inundated with adverts for fence repair kits and plant seeds.

 #There wasn’t much we could really do today. Pretty much everything closes for Easter Sunday. Supposedly it is so the staff can have a rest. What a load of tosh. Let’s see how the public react when they turn up at the hospital and get told to shove off because the place is closed so that the staff can have a rest. Why don’t shops and supermarkets and the like open from six in the morning until midnight (or even operate continuously). They could do this by actively looking for people who want to start work very early in the morning, or want to work late into the evening. Or want to do night work. Rather than having the existing staff working more hours, just take on more staff. After all what’s the point of a shop being open when all its potential customers are at work themselves? 

I Wordled, and Munzed from “night” to “knave” and got it with “envoy” on the third attempt. I rather impressed myself with that.

I went into the garden for a bit. I cleared yet more dog turds, laid one of the stepping stones that the first fruit of my loin gave me yesterday, cleaned out the filter of the small pond, and gave up on the pansies I planted a few weeks ago. They’ve come to nothing so I dinged their compost into one of the planters, and by then “er indoors ^TM” was ready. Some of her geocaches along the Greensand Way needed attention. We’d sorted some on Friday; we sorted more today. And with caches sorted we had something of a failed experiment. The series of geocaches runs in a straight line. We thought we might add a return loop to make a circular walk… There is a footpath which goes parallel to the geo-series which would be an ideal route in theory…

In practice it was a disaster. The path had half a dozen stiles which were poggered and all but impassable. We got over them but it took some doing. I shall contact the rights of way people… it would be a good walk if you could actually get along it. A mile and a quarter took us over an hour.

We came home for a cuppa and the last of the lemon cake, and I went back into the garden. I planted out those bedding plants we got yesterday. I discovered that I’d got a dozen snapdragons rather than six – that was a result. I tested all the water features – the big one isn’t quite flowing like it might. I expect I’ll sort it eventually. Or I won’t. We got a load of rubbish ready for a tip run. And when I finished pootling I took a few photos of the garden.  

We had a cuppa by the pond. Now it’s getting warmer we can sit by the pond. But when I say “pond” I can’t help but feel I mean “big dog water bowl”; Treacle does love guzzling out of it.

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up chicken and chips. Once that was scoffed we played the Infinity Table over the Internet against Chris. That thing’s internet connection is odd. “Game of Life”, “Sorry” and “Trouble” all work fine, but “Ticket to Ride” simply won’t play remotely.

I’ve got to go to work in the morning…

6 April 2026 (Easter Monday) - Working, Rolvenden

I felt rather rough when I woke this morning, but what could I do? Sulk or get on with it. I got on with it. “It” being laying wide awake far too early hoping and failing to get back to sleep.

I gave up, got up, put a load of washing in to scrub, made toast and watched an episode of “Derek” which was entertaining. I then had my usual peer into the Internet.

Our local MP had posted to his Facebook page (or a member of his staff had). Our local MP’s Facebook page has two sorts of posts. Either he’s trying to share in the limelight of that which someone local has achieved, or he’s making personal attacks on the opposition. Having spent years hoping for a Labour MP, this chap has turned out to be something of a disappointment. 

Other than that, hardly anything that wasn’t an advert was in my Facebook feed this morning. And of the adverts, pretty much none of them were of any interest to me.

I Munzed, and Wordled from “rough” to “story” and “score” to “sworn”.

With the washing hung out I set off up the motorway where the "Operation Brock" stupidity was still in place. But what with it being a rather quiet Bank Holiday morning I just set the cruise control and keep going. As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about the ongoing war in the Middle East. On the one hand is the American President who is ranting and raving, and on the other hand is the Iranian bunch who (from what I can see) haven't actually done much to warrant being attacked in the first place.

Trump is threatening dire retribution if the Strait of Hormuz isn't opened to shipping. However everyone knows T.A.C.O.  and consequently those he threatens are taking no notice. Meanwhile the rest of the world have realized that they can get oil out if they pay the Iranians not to shoot at them and so have started paying.  I suspect that when this all blows over (this time) the Iranianis will carry on charging people not to shoot at their oil tankers and will have found themselves a nice little earner. Maybe the Prime Minister might learn from this and start threatening to take pot-shots at anything going through the strait of Dover unless they give the UK a bung.

I got to work. I popped into the canteen in the hope that they might have a hot cross bun. They did, and so I had one with a cuppa before I started. I'd rather not have been working today, but it was only for the morning, and unlike how it used to be when I worked elsewhere, I did what I did secure and content in the knowledge that every single thing I did today wouldn't be revisited and inspected tomorrow by a bullying manager determined to find fault everywhere he possibly could.  

And with my bit done I came home.

Having spent the entire Bank Holiday weekend so far maintaining geocaches we continued the theme. We drove out to Rolvenden where people who’ve found hundreds of other people’s geocaches but couldn’t be bothered to put out any of their own were finding fault with that which “er indoors ^TM” had done. As with pretty much everything in life it is not what is said but how it is said. “I’m sorry but the thing is rather damp” doesn’t give the offence that “yet another in desperate need of attention” does.

But we had a good walk. It was a shame that the dogs had to be on the leads for much of the way, but there were pheasants shouting seemingly constantly and the dogs seriously had the red mist.

I took a few photos as we went.

With walk walked we popped into the pub at the end of the route. I’ve not been in there for some time… eleven years.to be precise. We had a rather good (and well-deserved) pint, but… a pint of Harveys, half a cider shandy, two bags of crisps… nearly twelve quid. I know I’m getting mean in my old age but that’s about double what I’d pay in the shop over the road, and drinking it in my back garden means I wouldn’t have to put up with all the normal people shouting profanities at each other. Like they do.  

Seeing how it was the last day of the Easter holiday today “er indoors ^TM” sorted KFC which we scoffed whilst watching two more episodes of “The Hunt: Prey vs Predator”. Mind you when I say “watching”, I slept through much of the second one. I wonder if I missed much?

7 April 2026 (Tuesday) - More I.T.

For once I had a bit of an early night last night and managed seven hours asleep. I was still up before six o’clock though. I made toast and watched an episode of “Derek” then had my usual look at the Internet. It was rather dull this morning; nothing but adverts for stuff in which I had absolutely no interest.

I had a load of emails – people had been round Kings Wood hunting for the geocaches I’d hidden there. Several people couldn’t find certain ones; that’s tomorrow’s dog walk planned for me.

I had a quick Munz, then got ready for work.

What with it effectively still being the Easter holidays the roads were rather quiet as I drove up the "Operation Brock" nonsense. I *really* can't see the point of it; there's the same amount of traffic there always is, just going twenty miles per hour slower. Perhaps that's the point? I did see four cars and a van going along the bit that cars and vans shouldn't be in; there's often cars and vans in that bit.

As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about Kanye West. Apparently he's some big music star who's seriously upset the Jewish community. At the risk of stirring up a hornet’s nest, it strikes me that the entire "Jewish community" is a subject no one dares to mention. It strikes me that cries of antisemitism are thrown up at the slightest provocation, and the world and his wife live in terror of such accusations. Meanwhile Israel demands that America join it in (from what I can see) an unprovoked war and no one says a word. I'd love to know just what I'm missing here.

And the astronauts are on their way back from the Moon. Not that they actually went to the Moon; just round it. For all that I'm a great fan of the space program, it does strike me that they went a long way to do not very much. Maybe going into a lunar orbit and then leaving it after a few orbits might have been something? Mind you their previously poggered toilet has now been fixed... you know you've got troubles when you are a week away from the nearest functional chodbin (or even tree to tiddle up).

I popped in to Sainsburys to get a sandwich as I do. They had quite a few plants; I thought about getting some, but I've done that in the past. They don't survive a day in the car.

And I went on to work. Originally I wasn't scheduled to be at work today, but I'd been asked if I might help with doing more testing on the new IT system.  I had a go... there's no denying I had quite a bit of "Operator Error". The thing would have worked far better had it done what I wanted it to do rather that what I'd been telling it to do but that's what completer systems are all about, isn't it? No? - well, that's the line I'm taking. 

I spent much of the day telling management that if I stuff it up in the testing scenarios then we can see how to avoid subsequent stuff-ups in the future. I'm not convinced that management subscribe to this school of thought, but management rarely does. I never used to when I was a manager.

As I drove home down the motorway so I saw a horse bolting across one of the bridges that crosses the M20…

We cracked open a bottle of plonk and then finished off the amaretto whilst watching the last episode of “The Hunt: Prey vs Predator”. It was a good show, but would have been better had any of the contestants been likeable.  We followed this with a couple of episodes of “The Other Bennett Sister” in which Mr Ryder turned out to be quite the beast. Men often are…

8 April 2026 (Wednesday) - Rostered Day Off

I slept well, but woke aching at seven o’clock. I got up, made toast and saw the world was still there. There had been some uncertainty overnight as President Trump had been threatening to unleash hell on Iran.

He didn’t.

As I scoffed my toast I saw that the current Middle East war is having a cease fire and the Strait of Hormuz has opened. Well, a cease-fire and open strait for the next two weeks or until it all kicks off again. At the risk of appearing cynical it won’t be long.

And there was a lot of talk about yesterday evening’s fire. As I’d driven home last night there was a load of smoke coming from a recycling plant on the other side of town. Fire engines came from miles around to sort it.

I Munzed, and went to wake the dogs. They sleep so lightly during the day, and so deeply at night.

I put a load of washing in to scrub and took the dogs out. As we drove up Brookfield Road it was clear that the petrol station up there hadn’t heard the morning news; their petrol had gone up in price by two pence per litre overnight. And as I drove up Chart Road there was a definite haze in the air. From yesterday’s fire?

The roads up to the woods were a lot quieter than usual; the woods a lot busier. The car park was heaving, but as is always the way, once you get half a mile from the car park you get the woods to yourself. Mostly. We did have a minor issue with some idiot woman and her dog. We changed direction several times to avoid her, and in the end I just gave up. If her dog and mine had a set-to it wasn’t from my trying to keep away from her. Fortunately for us she took one of the paths that leads north out of the woods through a field with horses in it. And about twenty seconds after we lost sight of her we could hear a frantic neighing, a frantic barking, and lots of shouting. My three dogs looked at me as if to say “F.F.S.”, and ignored the commotion. I couldn’t have done anything to help without involving my three in whatever was going on so I thought I could best help by staying away. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

As we walked we saw the bluebells which are coming into full bloom, and my birdsong app detected sixteen different bird species.

We took a slightly different route to our usual one. Over the weekend we’d had reports that four of my geocaches in the woods were missing so I called in to each location and in a novel break with tradition all really were missing. I replaced them all, but did wonder where they’d gone. Had people done a litter-pick and tidied them up? Had people taken them home to show their mums? (that really does happen!)

After five miles we were back at the car. We came home where the washing machine had finished. I hung the wet stuff on the line (for the first time this year), and harvested a massive crop of dog turds. I’ve mentioned before that I can’t believe that three small dogs can generate so much dung.

I got all the rubbish that we’d been hoarding out the shed and loaded it into my car. Back in the day I could then have taken it straight to the tip, but these days you have to book a time, and there was an hour and a half to go until it was my turn.

I used the time to record the geo-maintenance that I’d done earlier, and I archived two geocaches I hid at Singleton lake a couple of years ago. Both were clearly missing and I’d been meaning to replace them for months and had never got round to it. Best to get shot of them before I get the geo-feds on my case.

I did a You-Gov survey, Wordled from “miles” through “illier” to “inlet”, wrote up some CPD, then went round to the tip.

It was rather busy.

I came home. No day not at work is complete without ironing. As I ironed I watched a film on the Disney Channel. “Starship Troopers” is an old favourite of mine, but more and more these days I’m finding I don’t have the attention span for films.

We did “FEED THE FISH”, I watered the plants. And had a little look in the small pond. At the weekend we got some goldfish for that pond. Either they are hiding or the seagulls have had them.

And I got the shears out and gave myself a quick haircut. That saved over a tenner.

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up pizza and went out for the evening. I settled in front of the telly and sparked up Netflix. I’ve been meaning to watch “The Man In The High Castle” for over ten years, and finally made a start this evening. Set in an alternate version of America some fifteen years after the Allies were defeated in the Second World War, so far the program shows promise…

Today was a rostered day off. I’m going in to work for a rest tomorrow…

9 April 2026 (Thursday) - Dull

I woke feeling full of energy and raring to go… at quarter past two. As I so often do when I’ve got an alarm set. I gave up trying to sleep at five o’clock, got up and watched an episode of “The Man in the High Castle” then had my usual look at the Internet as I do every morning. There was an interesting post from a friend from long ago. The chap is a lawyer specialising in intellectual property, and he’s started his own firm. Billed as a UK and European patent attorney he’s operating out of Sydney Australia. I must admit that the words mean pretty much nothing at all to me, but I wish him well. You never know – one day I might go out and visit him.

I sent out birthday wishes to the three friends having birthdays today.  I Munzed, and got ready for work.

I walked up the road for some more Munzing before I drove off. There was a Celtic salmon and a Celtic cat in Christchurch Road. You'd never know, would you?  As I went back to my car I noticed that it was just before seven o'clock and there were a couple of pensioners standing by the corner shop waiting for it to open. There's o #ne of the local pensioners who is often litter-picking along the road at six o'clock. You'd think they'd not be up quite so early, wouldn't you? Perhaps it's not just me who can't sleep?

I headed west-wards along roads which were quieter than usual, but I'd still rather go up the motorway. If the idiot in the car behind me thinks I'm not going fast enough up the motorway there is plenty of space for them to overtake. As you drive up the A-roads there's little opportunity for overtaking and so the idiot drivers just get closer and closer up my rear end. I'm not going to go at the breakneck speeds at which they want to drive, which sadly clearly winds them up. I let them pass where I can, and then send snarky emails to their bosses and write about them on rate-driver dot internet when I can (which is most of the time). As I have said before, driving like an idiot is best done in a car that doesn't have your company's logo emblazoned all over it.

As I drove I listened to the pundits on the radio who were talking about the increased sales of electric cars. Apparently those in the motor industry are surprised at just how well Chinese cars are selling in the UK. The implication was made that buying Chinese was somehow unpatriotic whereas buying from a European or Japanese company isn't... There's not many car manufacturing companies which are UK-owned, are there? 

And it would seem that the Middle East cease-fire that came into effect yesterday is already looking iffy as yet again the Israelis are going out of their way to alienate themselves.

I went in to Tesco to get a sandwich, and then went on to work where I did my bit. And with my bit done I came home again to find that not only had the delivery of fish food arrived, but “er indoors ^TM” had rescued the screwdriver I dropped in the pond a week or so ago.

We had pie and chips and watched the last episodes of “The Other Bennet Sister” which were rather good.

I’ve got another early start tomorrow and so I doubt I’ll be asleep much after two o’clock tomorrow morning. An early start might be a plan.

Days like today when I’m at work are often the dull ones.

10 April 2026 (Friday) - More Dull

Yesterday I woke at quarter past two… it was something of a relief when I woke and saw the clock this morning - ten to four. Still far too early, but a minor result. I lay awake for an hour before giving up and getting up.

I made toast and watched another episode of “The Man In The High Castle”, then had my usual rummage round the Internet. This morning it was on the dull side. I sent out one birthday wish, Munzed, and got ready for work.

I made my way to my car, picking my way through the bins that the bin men had strewn across the pavement. They've stopped hollering swear words up the streets at half past six on a Friday morning, but they still won't put the bins back where they find them.

As I drove off so Kyle's mum was walking the streets again.  Kyle was one of the stranger of my cub scouts many years ago (and that was up against some pretty stiff competition). He could speak, but for the most part chose not to. He used to communicate by pulling strange grimaces and he seriously expected everyone would know what he wanted and what he meant from the faces he pulled. After a few weeks of his nonsense I used to deal with him by replying to his strange gurning by pulling faces back at him. If what he wanted was important he would eventually communicate with words, and if he didn't speak I would assume that what he wanted was trivial and could be ignored. 

Was that harsh of me?

I often see his mother when I'm out and about. She lives just down the road, and for years has spent pretty much all of her life walking round Ashford. I've seen her in all parts of the town and at all times of day. This morning she was going past Pets at Home at half past six. Does she just like walking? Is she claustrophobic? Or is there maybe an issue at home and should I be saying something to someone in authority? If I had any confidence at all in social services I might just do so. But I haven't. And so I won't. 

I went round to the petrol station to fill up. Petrol ain't cheap these days. I also got a sandwich for lunch. Again being there before the morning's shelf-filling I had to choose from yesterday's leftovers, and again there was precious little that didn't have bacon in them.

I then headed west-wards through the -hursts and the -dens.  It can be a rather pretty drive when I'm not having to worry about idiots tail-ending me. There were none today. I stopped off in Goudhurst on my way. I've got a geocache there which went missing and which I replaced a couple of months ago. It had gone missing again. I've put out another, but if this one goes I shall archive it.

I then spent a few minutes admiring the view. For all that I love my walks round the woods there's no panoramic views to be had there so I made the most of the opportunity this morning. Several people in cars slowed down to see what I was doing. 

And then it was on to work.

As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about bird feeders. I always thought that we were doing a good thing by topping up the bird feeder, but apparently this contributes to the spread of trichomonosis.

Maybe cleaning out the bird feeder might help? Or giving them a bowl of seed rather than a feeder which harbours germs and scatters the food all over the place?

And there was more talk about the current war in the Middle East. Mind you when I say "current war" I really mean "ongoing and perpetual war". This morning there was discussion on the radio about Lebanon's involvement in the war.  Some Lebanese government official was being interviewed who pretty much admitted that the Lebanese government have no control over what the Hezbollah rebels are doing (at the moment they would seem to be the biggest problem in that part of the world). And then the chap went on to show why there will never be peace in the Middle East. He started banging on about some grievances concerning some incident that happened in 1949, and then moved on to another incident from the early seventies...  It was quite clear that griping about historical episodes was far more important to him than dealing with tangible current issues.

I got to Pembury where I should have filled up with petrol. Normally eight pence per litre more expensive, this morning the petrol in Pembury was seven pence per litre cheaper than what I'd paid in Ashford. If I'd topped up there I'd have saved nearly three quid, and when you are as mean as me, that's not to be sniffed at. It's the price of a bottle of decent beer from the corner shop.

Work was work. I came home and we had a rather good dinner of scampi and chips which we scoffed whilst watching the first two episodes of “Race Across The World” which was streets ahead of “The Hunt” that we watched recently for the simple reason that I didn’t actively despise all of the contestants.

I’ve got another early start tomorrow – I wonder just how early…

And it’s a year since I’ve seen my granddaughter. It’s her fourth birthday today. If I’m lucky I might see her again in fourteen years.

The country’s judicial system leaves a lot to be desired…

11 April 2026 (Saturday) - Games Night

It was after four o’clock when I woke this morning. But again once I was awake and that was it. I came down a little while later to find Morgan sitting by the back door…

Yesterday was another anniversary… a happier one than I ranted about yesterday. Yesterday marked four years since the puppies arrived in our house. Originally I only wanted Bailey. Morgan looked too much like my Fudge-dog and I felt it wouldn’t be fair on Morgan to take him on because I would always be comparing him to Fudge. As I typed the last paragraph I actually wrote… “to find Fudge sitting by the back door”.

But I took him on, even though I am continually calling Morgan by Fudge’s name which is really silly. The physical resemblance is superficial at best, and temperamentally they are poles apart. I miss Fudge, but I wouldn’t be without Morgan.

I made toast and watched another episode of “The Man In The High Castle”. I’m up to episode five and don’t really have much idea of what is going on.

I had a little look at the Internet. It was much the same as it ever was. This morning’s petty bickering on Facebook was on one of the geocaching pages I follow. Some “rather special” chap in America has formed his own breakaway Facebook group after taking offence that everyone else told him that “being special” was no excuse for being a twit. This morning one of his cronies had announced that he was going to make wheelchair-user-friendly geocaches and seemed to be amazed that this was already a thing and had been so for years.

There was also quite a lot of posting on Facebook about yesterday's elections in nearby Cliftonville. The incumbent Reform councillor had gone to jail, and yesterday the Greens had won the vote to replace him. I did chuckle when so many pro-Reform voters were talking about how a narrow a margin the Greens had won by. Nothing like as narrow a margin as the Brexit vote had been, but which the very same people still (ten years later) loudly claim as a resounding victory.

I Munzed, and got ready for work. I didn’t really want to work this morning but there it is. Over the last two years I’ve rather enjoyed being part time, but a month ago the boss asked if I could do four weeks of extra hours to help with the new computer system. I said I could… in retrospect I wish I hadn’t. The money is nice, and learning something new is good, but the trouble with work is you have to do work. I’d rather pootle and potter and if I want to sit by the pond and have a nap, then I’d rather sit by the pond and have a nap.

I made my way to my car. As I went I activated my Munzee map. As I'd Munzed earlier so a new temporary Munzee  had appeared just down the road. I thought I might get it as I walked to the car. In the time it had taken me to put on my shoes so “er indoors ^TM”  had woken up and Munzed it herself.

I drove off west-wards listening to the pundits on the radio. As I drove there was talk about the enquiry into the case of Valdo Calocane (who suffered from paranoid schizophrenia) who killed three people and seriously injured three other people in Nottingham city centre three years ago despite being well known to the local authorities. There was an interview with one of the families involved who said that one of the things that came out of the enquiry was how inexperienced some of the officials were, and generally how crap the system had been. 

Am I being cynical in thinking "been there, done that"?

And there was talk of the Artemis II which splashed down safely last night. As always as in the case with anything remotely scientific or not related to petty political squabbling, the matter was treated with mild condescension. It boils my piss that proper news is treated as a subject of disdain whilst that which will be forgotten by the end of the day and which will wrap tomorrow's chips is seen as being oh-so-important. 

On the stroke of eight o'clock I turned over to Radio Ashford to listen to Steve on the radio. He'd mentioned that there was a new DAB channel for radio Ashford. There was, but sadly (like the FM signal) it only reached as far as the hill at Goudhurst where I lost him.

I went in to work where I did my bit. As I worked I used the works Internet to tune back in to Steve on the radio. I got the mystery year pretty much right away - when did Rumbelows close down? I knew that - I bought my first home PC from them (for a small fortune) just before they went belly-up in 1995.

At tea break I had a Belgian bun. As I'd driven through Goudhurst I saw the little bakery there was open. I went in and joined the queue. There weren't many people waiting, but the staff were rather hopeless. It really doesn't take ten minutes to sell a couple of cakes, does it?  And sadly the bun wasn't worth the ten minutes that I spent queueing for it. It would be unfair to say that the thing was rock hard as it was certainly softer than a rock... well, most rocks.

But there's no denying that I won't be hurrying back to that little bakery. There's no convenient car parking spot in Goudhurst, and do I really want to give them another chance? I really don't want to have to go out of my way only to face another bun like todays. It was supposed to have been a little treat(!) I can get a bun which is better and cheaper (and with a far higher chance of being half-way decent) by going to Tesco or Sainsburys; I certainly will next time. And this is *exactly* the problem that so many little businesses face, isn't it? 

I had a little look on Google and saw that I called into the place four years ago and had a stale Belgian bun that time too...

I came home. “er indoors ^TM” went shopping, and I settled in front of the telly under a pile of dogs and watched another episode of “The Man In The High Castle” whilst Treacle alternately snored and farted. I don’t know what she’s eaten recently but I do know she’s not going to eat it again. Oh, her arse was rank.

I cleaned out the fish tank’s filter and “er indoors ^TM” returned with Whitby buns. Very nice.

Chris, Steve and Sarah came round and we had a rather good games night. I won Game of Life, came second in Sorry and second in Ticket to Ride. But (to be honest) I could have come last in everything and still have had a very good evening with friends.

I do like our game nights…

12 April 2026 (Sunday) - Opening the Container

I woke at seven o’clock to the sound of loud barking… only to find all dogs fast asleep. That was some really vivid dream. I went back to sleep for another couple of hours.

I put a load of washing in to scrub, told Treacle off for trying to bully Bailey off of her brekkie, made toast and had a little look at the Internet. It was still there, and much the same as ever. I scoffed toast whilst I watched another episode of “The Man In The High Castle” which has seriously got me thinking recently. Set in America some fifteen years after it (in another plane of reality) lost the second world war, so many of the protagonists are fiercely patriotic about their home country, be it America, Japan or Germany. We see this locally with flags being hung from lamp posts…

Am I wrong in not having this patriotic fervour at all?

With telly watched I hung out the washing and set the dishwasher going, then Munzed and Wordled. “Sound” gave me nothing so I started again with “heavy” from where I went through “matey” and “abbey” to “alley”.

We then took the dogs out. The weather forecast wasn’t great so we wanted a short walk. We parked up in Kennington and walked across the fields to where there was supposedly a geocache. We eventually found it… and I squealed it up for needing some maintenance. The given co-ordinates were quite a bit out, and the thing was a glass jar with a rusty lid. We then continued on a (sort-of) circular walk home.

It was a shame that Bailey had to be so wilful as we walked. She is fine when we go to Kings Wood or Longbeech or somewhere that we know, but she can be a nightmare in places that are new to her. She didn’t get *that* deep into the brambles, and there wasn’t really *that* much blood from my hand when I finally got her out.

We came home. I harvested an epic crop of dog dung from the garden, and looked at the bird feeder. Despite the Royal Society for the Prevention of Birds (!) saying we shouldn’t feed them, the sparrows do like a scoff. I topped it up…  We had a cuppa, I wrote up some CPD.

With the forecast rain having come to nothing I got the lawnmower out and trimmed the grass, watered the flowers, did “FEED THE FISH”, cleaned out the aerator head on the pond, and sat by the pond for a while until “er indoors ^TM” came out to upset the dogs. She said it was practice for her sponsored skipping thing, but the dogs (and Bailey in particular) *really* didn’t like her skipping with a rope.

It got cold so I came in. And we both spent over an hour on the next geo-project. Chris has got a 3-D printer and he’s printed us each a puzzle geocache. They are rather good; a smashing little pressie for which I for one am very grateful.

It’s a simple little idea. Open the blue cylinder and sign the piece of paper inside… Once you’ve figured out how to open the thing it is relatively straightforward, but it takes some figuring.

I’ll be honest – it is a really good present and I think it is too good to stuff under a rock as a geocache. But that is what Chris made it for. So if it is going to be a geocache I shall try to make something decent of it. In the first instance I will need a location which ideally has a seat so’s people can sit down with it, and is well away from where the normal people might come across it by chance. And while I’m trying to find a location I shall test the thing on a few people to see if anyone can open it quicker than I did (i.e. in less than an hour) so I can judge how to rate the thing’s difficulty.

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up pork chops which we scoffed whilst watching an episode of “Taskmaster”. We’ve got the latest “Wallace and Gromit” film on now, but I might not stay the course… I’m not feeling on top form.

I wonder what that’s all about?

13 April 2026 (Monday) - Bad Dog (!)

I suppose I slept better than I often do, but I still wasn’t on top form when I woke. A mild headache and general aching… pretty much like I feel all the time these days.

I got up, made toast and had a look at the Internet. It was much the same as it always is. But there was an interesting advert…

Being up early and with rain forecast for the morning I took the dogs out early. As we drove to the woods the pundits on the radio were interviewing someone or other from Reform UK who was spouting on about all the failures of the current political system. But when it was suggested that pretty much everything he was banging on about was the legacy of years and years of Conservative governments, and that the vast majority of Reform politicians are ex-Conservatives he had absolutely no answer whatsoever. Reform UK are riding high on the public’s discontent, the public’s general ignorance of the political progress, and the Prime Minister being one of the dullest we’ve ever had.

The country’s political system definitely needs to be reformed, but Reform UK is the same old piss in a different shaped bottle. Sadly what choices have we got?

A relatively new Labour government that the public regretted voting in the moment that it was voted in.

What’s left of the old Conservative government that got voted out.

The old Conservative government that got voted out now posturing under two new names.

Well meaning incompetence that had its chance and blew it sixteen years ago

And tree-huggers.

None of which seem to be particularly appealing.

We got to the woods and had a good walk… mostly. As we walked there was a minor episode when some German tourists started shouting “Bad Dog!!” at little Bailey. They were rather indignant as they told me that Bailey "is bad dog. She has eating the animal in her mouth”. I told them that it wasn't the first dead mouse she'd had, and I very much doubted if it would be the last. And better a dead mouse than a live squirrel or rabbit like we've had before.

It was as well that the nice German tourists didn't see what Bailey had been rolling in.

We walked our usual route. The ground had really dried up; we walked the same route as we usually walk and did it fifteen minutes quicker than what we took in January. The bluebells were in full bloom; they will be gone in a couple of weeks.

As we came back to the car we met another dog walker who we know by sight. We walked back to the car park together and shared a whinge about the people who only take their dogs for walks during holidays. The woods are full of them at the moment. They go mental when any other dog goes anywhere near them. Morgan sniffed another dog’s arse last week and was accused of attacking it.

Once home the girls got a wash. Morgan was clean(ish) but Treacle and Bailey had been rolling in muck. I made us both a cuppa, Munzed, and Wordled from “feral” (which was a surprisingly good start) through “lifes” to “elfin” (as it couldn’t be anything else that I could see) to get it on the third go.

With cuppa guzzled and the forecast rain not having appeared I went into the garden for a little pootle. I gathered up dog dung, then picked the larger sticks and twigs before going round with the garden vacuum. I weeded, gathered up more dog dung, then went at the patio and the gravelled areas with the bionic burner. I then strimmed the slabs that go up the lawn. I started going round the edges with garden scissors, but the strimmer did a much quicker job. I went round with the watering can, and then read my Kindle for a bit.

“Daddies’ Little Angel ^TM” needed a lift home, so I ran her to Folkestone. Whilst I was there I wasted twenty minutes in a bush. A new geocache had gone live in Cheriton yesterday with the hint “bushes”. I personally would have given more of a hint than that, but gave it a good effort before I walked away.

The thing has since been found by someone claiming it as their first find ever… I’m calling shenanigans on that.

I came home via Wickes. Screwfix Direct, Thanet Tool Hire and B&Q. None of which sold the fence repair gizmo I’ve been after. I shall try the garden centres before I give up and go to Amazon.

I came home, and spent an hour or so marking trainee’s work, then stood up and loudly announced that I was going to “FEED THE FISH”. Treacle leapt up and we went out to find that the drizzle that has started as I’d come home had been rather heavy. Maybe I hadn’t needed to water the plants at all?

And once we’d fed the fish so the rain returned… torrential, and then turned to hail.

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a rather good curry which we washed down with a bottle of the red stuff whilst watching the first episode of the new series of “Taskmaster” out of five contestants I’d heard of one.

And then we watched the SUTC Bake Off and cracked open the Disaronno… 

14 April 2026 (Tuesday) - Before the Night Shift

I slept better than I have done recently, which was something of a result. I got up at half past seven, made toast and had a look at the Internet. There was quite a bit of controversy of Facebook as that idiot Donald Trump has published a picture of himself healing the sick; the implication being that he is Jesus. Personally I can’t see how or why someone who is demonstrably senile is still in office, but what do I know? The American masses seem to love him. But love him or loathe him, he’s a showman. He amuses the masses most of whom really don’t understand the first thing about what is going on in the world, and most of whom don’t care about what is going on in the world. He says what they want to hear. The masses don’t want to be governed, they want to be entertained. That is why Boris Johnson got to be in charge and this is why Nigel Farage will be the next Prime Minister.

Democracy, eh?

I Munzed, and with the dogs having had their brekkie I got ready for the off.

We drove up to the woods. As we drove the pundits on the radio were talking about next month’s local elections. Several politicians were wheeled on and it all became something of “children in the playground” calling each other names.

We got to the woods rather later than we did yesterday. There were quite a few cars in the car park. We walked a slightly different route to our usual one and had a good walk. Bailey found a bone, but it was already dead long before we arrived, it wasn't a whole animal and it was too big for her to eat in one go. She'd not rolled in anything foul, and no tourists had got the hump about it either. I saw that as a result.

As we walked we met some strange bloke with four spaniels. Three came to say hello; he grabbed the fourth one by the ear and dragged that dog’s head to the ground whilst saying that the dog could be funny. I’m not surprised.

As we walked we were constantly avoiding off-road bikes. The wood was full of cyclists today.

We got back to the car to find the car park was full. Not a space to be had.

We came home. I made us a cuppa, I Wordled, wrote up some CPD, then had a little pootle in the garden as it is National Gardening Day today. As I pootled I noticed that the water level in the drain seemed a little high. I lifted the cover – it was about two inches from overflowing. Woops. I phoned Kim at Southern Water who said she’d send someone with some rods.

Despite the blocked drain I had a quick shower as I’d worked up quite a sweat while we’d been up the wood, and leaving “er indoors ^TM” with instructions to deal with plumbers I went off to bed for the afternoon.

Morgan and Bailey came with me – they love being on the big bed.

I stayed in bed for three hours; maybe sleeping for one of them. If God was to re-design humanity (not that it designed it in the first place…) perhaps rather than getting into bed and laying wide awake might not be the way forward. It would be so much easier if we came with an “off” switch so that we could sleep at sleep time. That way we wouldn’t be wide awake when we are supposed to be asleep, and no nodding off when we are supposed to be doing stuff.

I got up and Treacle watched me like a hawk. She knew it was time to go down the garden to provide nourishment to the piscine denizens of the aquatic environment (as I have to call it when she is listening) but she waits until I announce that I’m going to “FEED THE FISH” before she charges down the garden.

We did “FEED THE FISH” and whilst I was outside I had a look at  the water in the drain. The level had gone down a few inches which was a result, but we’ve had no messages about anyone with rods coming just yet.

I’m now off to the night shift. I’ve not done one of those since 20 December 2024 what with having blood pressure. But now my blood pressure is back to what it should be, I’m on the nights again. Mind you I say it is back to what it should be; I’ve not actually checked it since January as the blood pressure machine’s batteries have gone flat. Maybe I should check…

15 April 2026 (Wednesday) - After the Night Shift

The first night shift I worked was in August 1985. Things were different then - that shift was sixteen hours long and I was called in from home each time I was needed. Starting at five o’clock in the afternoon and working through till nine o’clock the next morning I did work on half a dozen patients, finished the last call at half past midnight and was in bed for most of the night.

These days we work an eleven-hour night shift for which we are up all night. I had work from over fifty different patients, did weekly maintenance on eight different analysers, and walked over five thousand steps between my watch re-setting at midnight and the early shift coming in at quarter to eight. Judging from the distances that I walk round the woods that’s about two and a quarter miles, or slightly less than the longer walk round Orlestone woods.

I shall spark up the “Map My Walk” app on my next night shift.

At four o’clock this morning my phone beeped. A couple of new geocaches had gone live withing a couple of miles of home. Maybe I could get a quick First to Find on my way home?

As I walked to my car I called up those caches on my phone to plan my route… both had been found for the first time by quarter past six… I took a deep breath and drove straight home where I went to bed for the morning.

Despite having been up all night I slept poorly. I got maybe a couple of hours sleep and got up (feeling like death warmed up) at midday. With still no news from the drain-rodding people I had a little look at the drains. The water lever had subsided a lot since yesterday. It was still higher than it should have been, but nowhere near as high as it had been yesterday. Realistically it could have been like that for weeks (and probably has been). I took a chance, put a load of washing in, made toast and had a little look at the Internet. It was much the same as ever.

With washing washed I thought I might iron the shirts whilst they were still damp. Shirts always iron better when damp…

I spent half an hour trying to repair the ironing board. Whilst I hadn’t been looking er indoors ^TM” had done some ironing and in the process had comprehensively destroyed the ironing board. I had a go with hammer, screwdriver and mole grips, and eventually got the thing useable with a length of string.

I did the ironing whilst watching a couple of episodes of “The Man In The High Castle” which were rather good. We did “FEED THE FISH”, then with the weather cheering up we went up to the woods.

We walked a rather shorter version of our standard walk. Bailey rolled in something disgusting and Treacle tried to eat a long-dead chaffinch. But “er indoors ^TM” got to see the bluebells so that was a result.

I must admit I expected that the woods would be heaving with the world and his wife going to see the bluebells, but the car park was quiet, and once we were away from the car park we didn’t see anyone at all.

We came home and had a rather good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching the second “Stand Up To Cancer” episode of Bake Off which featured four so-called celebrities. I’d actually heard of one of them…

For a day which is post night shift I’ve walked nearly eighteen thousand steps…

16 April 2026 (Thursday) - Still Tired

I slept well last night – that’s what night shifts do. But for some odd reason I was far warmer in bed last night than I had been on Tuesday afternoon or yesterday morning. How did that work?

I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet. Having finally sorted my antivirus yesterday my Facebook feed was full of adverts for antivirus products. The marketing algorithms haven’t quite got it right, have they? Now that I’ve bought something it is too late to get adverts for whatever it is. Last week I bought a year’s worth of razor blades and for two days job lots of razor blades was all I saw on social media.

I got the dogs onto their leads and we went to the woods. The upper car park has been heaving for the last two weeks, filled with people who very rarely go to the woods so today I tried the lower car park which was empty. No one knows it is there. We walked a different walk to usual, and every time we took a turn that isn’t on our usual walk so Morgan would give me a look as if to ask if I was sure.

The dogs waded in the pond that I told them not to wade in. They rolled in the muck I told them to leave alone… an average walk really.

We came home for a cuppa, and I farted around with the lap-top and my phone tweaking the McAfee antivirus that I’d got yesterday.

I really needed a new package – what I had was with AVG, The antivirus seemed to work, but although I thought I’d paid for the tuneup software, it kept telling me that I might like to buy it. The final straw was when they took money for it (again), but again told me the advantages of getting something that they’d sold me but hadn’t given me.

There was a minor hiccup when I thought I didn’t have an antivirus… The AVG antivirus that I’d got rid of was called “AVG antivirus” (so you knew what you were getting). McAfee don’t do antivirus. They do “livesafe” which is their antivirus package but with a frankly meaningless name. Eventually I figured this out.

You’d think it would have a sensible name, wouldn’t you? Their “McAfee PC Optimiser” tells you what you are getting, doesn’t it?

After quite a bit of farting about I was as confident that I could be that my lap-top was free of viruses and malware, and I had a protection score of six hundred and forty-nine out of a possible thousand which I was told was good. Was it? I have absolutely no idea.

I Munzed, and Wordled from “virus” (it seemed appropriate) through “fluid” and “untie” to “cubit” which was rather a stupid word, wasn’t it?

And then I pootled in the garden for a bit. Trimming and pruning and stuff. I sat by the pond with the dogs and read my Kindle for a bit…  and woke up an hour or so later. It was getting cold so I came in and watched a couple of episodes of “The Man In The High Castle”.

“er indoors ^TM” finished her day’s work and bearing in mind she’d destroyed the ironing board she went shopping for a new ironing board for me. I say “for me” … it really was for me. And whilst she was out she got a couple of acers too.

We’ve had acers in the past which have always died. Let’s see what I can do with these ones…

17 April 2026 (Friday) - Early Shift, Drains

Well, last night was a case of the old, old story. With an alarm set I was wide awake from three o'clock which (in all honesty) wasn't bad for a night with an alarm set.

I got up, made toast and watched an episode of "The Man In The High Castle" which was rather good. I got ready for work and set off. I couldn't help but notice that the bins hadn't been strewn all over the pavements, the bin men weren't bellowing swear words up the street and the bin lorry had been parked in such a way that it wasn't deliberately blocking the road. Someone in authority must have had a word with them.

As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking the ongoing situation in the Middle East.

The Israeli and Lebanese governments are holding talks because (so it would seem) President Trump has ordered them to.

The British and French governments are organising an international armada to look after the strait of Hormuz; an international armada involving pretty much everyone except those currently at war over the place.

And the UK government is preparing for double figure inflation as the price of food looks set to go through the roof at the end of the year... or so it was claimed. The head of the Butcombe brewery was wheeled on who said that inflation of food prices might go through the roof; it is too early to tell.

It strikes me that whoever is wheeled on to the morning news is very firm about their opinions, and no two hold the same opinion.

Pausing only briefly to get a sandwich from Sainsburys I went in to the early shift. I spent much of the day whistling "Edelweiss" which is the theme tune to "The Man In The High Castle", and was a favourite song of my late grandmother. For some reason I have always been convinced that the song was also a firm favourite of Adolf Hitler's but it turned out the song was written fifteen years after he died.  One lives and learns.

And I got rather wound up as I chatted with the trainees. Being a professional blood-tester has always needed rather specialist post-graduate qualifications. Back in the day we would apply to be an apprentice blood tester. The ones who were successful (I got the thumbs-down on my first application) would spend four days a week in the workplace, and one day a week at a college. After four years of this we'd qualify with a degree, and those who wanted to go on to Masters level could do so over a further two years. 

A paid day off work each week to go to college, college fees paid, train fare to get there paid, the price of lunch and tea stumped up, and thirty quid to spend on text books… all the costs was part of our wages.  It might have taken longer to get a degree than the traditional full-time route would, but at the end of it all we had a qualification, professional registration and a job. And consequently it was attractive.  There was stiff competition to be an apprentice blood tester back then, and that's why I didn't get in on the first attempt.

Sadly about ten years after I started, someone in an office realised just how much it cost and decided that we would appoint staff at the point at which they qualified, and apprentice blood testers could pay for their own education... Some of the trainees now have over eighty thousand quid's worth of debt...

This is nothing new... but it came as something of a revelation to me...

As the day wore on so I had some messages from “er indoors ^TM”. The nice drains man had arrived. Regular readers of this drivel may recall our turd outlet hasn't been flowing as well as it might. The nice drain man opened the manhole cover over the communal sewer to find it was only a few inches from the top, and there wasn't just turds floating in it. It would seem the nice people a few doors up have been chucking "women's things" down their chodbin. I can't say that was the problem, but it certainly couldn't have helped. Still, I'm glad he found them. He can have that conversation with the neighbours. 

I got the message that he was sending some submarine camera down the drain, and then my shift was over. There's no denying that I drove down the motorway with something of a sense of trepidation.

I came home to find the nice man had gone. Apparently he’d seen nothing untoward with his sub-aqua camera so he just gave it all a particularly vigorous rodding and hoped for the best, and that cleared it. I saw that as a result. Seven years ago the nice people from the water company sent a camera-equipped submarine down there and told us that something had collapsed in the drain and there was a load of rats and shingle down there (in with the turds). Either today’s nice man’s camera had a turd on the lens or he wasn’t looking hard enough, or the last bloke was mistaken.

Here’s hoping the drain is good for another seven years…

I had intended to take the dogs to the woods this evening, but I’d had to park three streets away, and the current plan is that they should get a decent walk tomorrow. So we just did “FEED THE FISH” instead, and prepared my sat-nav “Hannah” for tomorrow.

We had fish and chips and watched “Race Across the World” in which the contestants were racing across Turkey. Some of the contestants went across the turtle rescue centre at Iztuzu beach where we visited when on holiday seven years ago.

I’d like to go back there at some point…

18 April 2026 (Saturday) - Dog Club, Harry Potter

I slept better than I often do, but was still wide awake at five o’clock. Rather than laying in bed I got up and watched another episode of “The Man In The High Castle”. I realise that they were quite up on rocketry, but if the Axis powers really had won the second world war, would they have had Concord-style supersonic planes in the early 1960s?

I then had my usual peer into the Internet. It was still there. The usual drivel and squabbles abounded. I saw I’d been awarded a “Top Fan” badge for having clicked Facebook’s “like” button on a few photos on a dachshund page I follow. On a more serious note someone had posted the results of their blood test to one of the work-related Facebook groups I follow… This happens quite a bit. In some parts of the world it seems you can pay to get blood tests done and then go around asking what the results mean, and asking for quotes to sort out whatever the blood test had shown… I suppose that it isn’t entirely unlike what happened when Fudge was diagnosed with chronic kidney failure several years ago.

At first glance it seemed that today’s customer had both acute leukaemia and thalassaemia minor, but there were plenty of people queueing up to offer their sage advice and were suggesting everything from “piles” through to “died three weeks ago”.

Be very careful when asking for medical (or any) advice on-line. The less someone knows, the more confident and forceful they are with their opinion. Leaving aside the (rather major) point that a professional blood tester doesn’t offer diagnoses (that’s what doctors do), am I being hopelessly idealistic in preferring to have a “patient” rather than a “customer”? And am I being hopelessly idealistic in preferring that whoever used their professional judgement to ask for the blood test would deliver the bad news rather than having someone wonder if a blood test might tell them what was wrong with them (and then go onto Facebook to have random strangers explain the results to them)?

I Munzed. I Wordled from “drain” through “clade” to realise that “shady” was probably the only word which would fit… It wasn’t “shady”. I tried random gibberish until I got it right with “toady”. Is that even a word?

We got ourselves together. The plan was to go straight to today’s adventure from Dog Club, so there was quite a bit to get together. As I got bottles of cider in from the fridge in the shed I thought I could smell turds… suddenly gripped by panic I had a look down the drain. The water level was back where it should be… but there was quite a bit of “toilet things” floating there. It probably needs a few flushes.

As I fiddled about so Steve was doing the “Guess the Lyrics” competition on the radio. “I’m dancing on the white house lawn”?  I had no idea either. It was “Life is a Minestrone” by 10cc.

We drove round to Repton and Dog Club where we had a rather good session even if attendance was down somewhat. I blame the early drizzle.

From there we went out t Barham where we met Karl and Tracey. We went for a little geo-walk. Last year a series of puzzle geocaches went out all based on the “Harry Potter” books. The puzzles were fun, and the final geocache were all excellent; some involved well thought out field puzzles. In over sixteen thousand finds this series is probably the best series I’ve ever walked. The only criticism I could make would be that at nine miles it was a tad long; maybe two shorter loops might have been more manageable for an old git like me.

We walked nine miles over six hours, and with walk walked we retired to the Duke of Cumberland where we had a rather good bit of dinner washed down by a few pints of very good ale…

We came home to a minor disaster in the small fish pond. I shall deal with that in the morning.

In the meantime, here’s some photos of today.

19 April 2026 (Sunday) - Lazy Day

I went to the loo at four o’clock this morning when I noticed that next door’s lights were all on. She does get up early.

I went back to bed where I slept through till half past eight, despite various snorings and squeakings.

I made toast and had my usual peer into the Internet…

I had messages about the Dog Club. Having finally found someone to act as a contact in the late group, there’s indignation about how dare I suggest that the poo bag had been left (even though it was), and complaints that the lock doesn’t close properly (even though I found it closed yesterday), and how I might like to arrange for a new lock… I took a deep breath. I never asked to take on running Dog Club…

I saw quite a few people had been walking round Kings Wood yesterday looking at the bluebells and for the geocaches I’d hidden. One or two people (who have found thousands and hidden none) commented on how some of the paper logs were wet. I took another deep breath. Would it cause these people physical pain to spend a fiver and buy a ream of paper? They could cut up the sheets and take some every time they went out geocaching and replace the wet paper in less time than it takes them to complain about it.

One thing which winds me up so much is when there is anything which might not be perfect about which pretty much everyone indignantly announces that ”they should do something about it” but are completely oblivious to the sad fact that there is no “they” who go round doing things. So often the problems in life are because of the old maxim “if you want a job done, do it yourself” and so few people are prepared to do anything themselves.

I Munzed and then Wordled from “leaks” through “shart” (which it accepted!) “Spain”, then back to “scant” as I’d forgotten the “T” was in there, and got it on the fifth go with “stand”.

And then it was into the garden. I had a look at the leak in the little pond and couldn’t really see why the thing had emptied yesterday. I mowed the lawn, cleaned the filter of the other pond, potted two small trees, cleaned out the drains and (almost) stopped Morgan peeing up everything I was using.

I've got a pedestal I need to do something with... I'll do that later. Three hours effort and the garden looks the same as when I started.

Have I ever mentioned that I am not a fan of gardening...

There were reports of issues with “er indoors ^TM”’s geocaches in Rolvenden, but someone else messaged her asking if she minded if they sorted the issues for her as they walked round today. Yes please !!!

And with our faith in humanity restored (and no need to go to Rolvenden) we declared Emergency Plan B. I popped over the road to the corner shop and got a few bottles of beer which had rather interesting labels.

We spent a rather good afternoon in the garden drinking beers and ciders whilst reading stuff on the Kindle app. There was a dodgy episode when Treacle sprang up for a cuddle and destroyed everything, but we soon cleared the wreckage.

Over a rather good bit of dinner we watched the latest episode of “Taskmaster”.

I’ve not left the house today…

20 April 2026 (Monday) - Hitler Croaked

I got up and went straight out to the little pond. The water level was fine. So how had it emptied itself on Saturday?

I made toast and had a look at the Internet. There wasn’t a lot going on, so I took the dogs out a tad earlier than we night usually go. As we drove up there the pundits on the radio were talking about how it has been discovered that every time President Trump makes some announcement that will affect the world’s financial markets, a few minutes before he does someone makes investments and then makes a killing… almost as though they knew what he was going to say. Not that anyone was suggesting that people were being tipped off as that would be very illegal…

We got to the woods where there were only half a dozen cars in the car park. Rather different to last week. We walked our usual walk. We didn’t see anyone else, we didn’t roll in anything or wallow in anything. We chased a few squirrels, but they all got away. Perhaps if the dogs were a tad more stealthy they might have more luck?

After four and a bit miles we were back at the car. The “bit” was arguable depending on whether you believe my watch or my phone.

We came home via Riversdale Road where there were reports of missing geocaches. One was missing; one wasn’t. I replaced the missing one, but might archive it soon. It’s a Wherigo I wrote. The idea is that you play a little game on your phone and as you go through the game you read the words and it tells you where the final geocache is found. But if you don’t read the words but just keep pressing the buttons as fast as you possibly can you miss the information you need and you end up in the wrong place. Basically it is an exercise in following instructions… but pretty much no one reads the instructions, everyone ends up in the wrong place and then they keep sending me messages that the thing is missing when it isn’t. Today, though, it was..

It seemed like a good idea at the time but I shall probably archive it soon and replace it with a simple film pot under a rock… either when the local hunter of First To Finds is on holiday, or I shall prime someone else to go get it first.

We came home where it took me a little while to park. There’s some chap who lives locally who doesn’t like cars parked anywhere near his car, so given a space big enough for two and a half cars he makes a point of parking right in the middle so no one can park near his car. I saw red and spent a few minutes shoehorning my car into the tiny space he’d left. I *might* have bumped his car a couple of times as I squeezed into the space, but that’s his problem. The parking bay outside our house has space for seven cars, and too many times there’s only four cars there because of the frankly stupid parking that goes on.

Once home I voomed round the garden gathering turds. It’s an endless job. And with turds gathered I had a cuppa. I did think about tidying up the garden storage box; after all it has been a little while since the door closed on the thing. But my back was aching a bit. I’ll do that tomorrow, eh?

I played around with Microsoft CoPilot, I Munzed, I Wordled from “walks” through “wharf” to “weave” on the third go… eventually. How many five-letter words are there that start with “w” and have “a” in the middle, but don’t have an “h” in them?

I got myself a bit of lunch and settled in front of the telly underneath a pile of dogs and watched more episodes of “The Man In The High Castle” in which Colonel Tigh from BattleStar Galactica turned up as a rogue vicar.

“My Boy ^TM” popped in. Would I look after his scooter whilst he went for a haircut? He’s got one of these electric scooters – the sort of thing he swears about when anyone else is scooting about on one. Apparently it has a top speed of sixteen miles an hour and he can get from his house to ours in seven minutes which is probably faster than I could drive it.

I pootled in the garden, I wrote up some CPD, we did “FEED THE FISH” and watered the plants.

“er indoors ^TM” came home from work with a job lot of shopping, boiled up scran and then went bowling. I again settled in front of the telly underneath a pile of dogs and watched more episodes of “The Man In The High Castle”. The plot has taken a rather exciting turn – Hitler has croaked.

21 April 2026 (Tuesday) - A Day's Leave

Again all the lights were on next door when I went to the loo at four o’clock.

I slept through till eight o’clock this morning, got up and made toast. As I peered into the Internet I saw that the chap who seems to be trying to visit every pub in the country (I’ve mentioned him before) has been making a lot of noise about his having been elected to the ruling committee of the Campaign for Real Ale. Bearing in mind how he’s on Facebook every day making great show of his favourite pub in every town, I can’t help but wonder if there’s going to be some conflict of interest here. Are disgruntled publicans going to have the arse with CAMRA about losing a competition they didn’t know they were in? A competition that is nothing to do with CAMRA.

I Munzed, and Wordled from “light” through “close” to (in a total bit of pot luck) get “clump” on the third attempt, taking maybe twenty seconds to do the lot. I rather impressed myself. Wordle usually takes me ages..

Despite the roads being incredibly busy I drove over to B&M Bargains to have a look at their garden section. Their wooden plant boxes were half the price of the ones in Longacres. And they were knocking out tennis balls at four for one pound fifty. Sainsburys do three for two quid. I shall be going to B&M Bargains for tennis balls from here on.

I went on to Dobbies where some huge black dog stopped and pissed up the lawn food. I’m not saying my dogs are blameless, but it was as though someone had emptied a bucket.

And I had a quick look round Longacres too.

Having found nowhere sold the fence supports I wanted, it was over to the hospital for a check up. Two years ago I had my fourth nasal re-bore. The first three failed as the surgeon had gone up the nostril, but on the fourth attempt the chap said he wanted to drill through the bone and come in from behind.

He had a look up my conk with an endoscope and says that (unlike the last three times) the polys haven’t come back. Here’s hoping they stays away.

Whilst I was in with the ENT specialist I mentioned about my seemingly continual tinnitus. He said that it comes with age, but had a look in my lugholes and said there was more wax in there than at Madame Tussauds. He got me to lie down and cleared out both earholes whilst I waited. He seemed quite proud of the size of some of the lumps of gunge he got out of my ears, and wasn’t at all disheartened that at the end of some seriously intense scraping the tinnitus was just the same as it was at the start.

He says he will arrange for some hearing tests.

I came home where I made us both a cuppa which we had with a Whitby bun, and then I took the dogs out. We got to the car park at the woods about three hours later than usual and the normal people were out in force. But once away from the car park we only saw three other groups. Perhaps it was the time of day, but the birds were very quiet; we heard hardly any of them squawking. Morgan rolled in one dead mouse and Bailey ate another. The girls found a bone and Bailey smothered herself in fox poo.

As we walked I stopped and watched two deer not fifty yards from us. The dogs didn’t notice them at all.

We came home. This morning we’d seen a rat going into the garden storage box. I stripped it out… There were a few rat turds and something (presumably a rat) had been chewing at one of the old tents. That can go to the tip. I also cleared up the area where I keep spare decorative garden stones as Bailey often sniffs round there, but there didn’t seem to be any rat evidence. I popped out a couple of the rat-repellent smelly things just in case.

We did “FEED THE FISH”. Yesterday one of the older fish looked a tad iffy. In the meantime it had croaked. I hoiked out the corpse. I watered the plants, I cleared up the dog dung.

The plan had originally been to then do the ironing, but by then I thought I’d done a full day on what was actually a planned day’s annual leave (booked for the hospital appointment) so I made up both a cuppa and looked at booking a tip run to get shot of the old chewed tent. Ashford’s tip is still closed. We can go to any other tip in Kent, but they are all quite a drive away. The obvious ones would be the ones in Maidstone… I had a stroke of genius that I might pop in there before next Tuesday’s late shift. I’ve booked an appointment at the Allington tip. I wonder where it is.

So I wrote up some CPD and sorted the undercrackers I’d tumble-dried last night…

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching some really odd celebrity quiz show. Hosted by what I can only describe as a portion of bread and butter pudding on legs it featured has-beens and never-weres who faced puzzles which were either on a par with “frozen water  I – space – E” or Einstein-level mathematics with nothing in between. However I did have a fit of the giggles on the anagram round… “Asrworp”?

I’m going to work tomorrow – for a rest.

22 April 2026 (Wednesday) - Planful

I slept well… until half past two. I gave up trying to sleep at half past four, got up and watched an episode of “The Man in the High Castle” with something of a sense of “WTF is going on” then sparked up my lap-top. Pretty much nothing at all was happening on-line early this morning so (trying not to wake anyone) I got ready for work.

As I drove up the motorway the pundits on the radio were talking to the head honcho at McDonalds about allegations of bullying in various branches of the chain. She didn't want to get involved with what had gone before, but instead wanted to talk about the company's future. It was a shame that she couldn't have spoken in English but instead chose to speak in strange meaningless management catchphrases, one of which was that McDonalds was a very "planful" company. Whatever that meant...But more and more people do this sort of thing, don't they. Just read anything at all which has ever been posted on LinkedIn.

There was a classic example of this yesterday as I'd been sitting in the hospital's waiting area. The woman next to me had come in with her father and was waiting for him to have his appointment. As we waited so her phone rang. Rather than doing the decent thing and going elsewhere to take the call she stood up and walked to the centre of the waiting area where she answered the call with something of a flourish. She loudly thanked the caller for getting in touch and (equally loudly) announced that she was going to put him on speaker. There was then a frankly bizarre few minutes when she so obviously put on a show for the public. She ranted at her caller in an almost theatrical way about team efforts and targets and goals and opportunities and client expectations. It was very apparent that she was a London-based estate agent, and that the chap calling her was one of her underlings. She wanted him to sell or let a rather expensive apartment in the Putney area. 

She sounded very impressive (to the sort of people who are impressed by that sort of thing); it was a shame that her performance was utterly undermined by her minion being on the loudspeaker and so everyone could hear that the chap was actually phoning in sick because he'd been up all night with “f...ing diarrhoea”. 

I went to get petrol before I went in to work. The filling station in Aylesford was six pence per litre cheaper than Ashford, and so I saved two quid. Maybe only a minor result, but a result nonetheless.

I got a sandwich and went in to the early shift. I did what I had to, but an early start meant I got out early.

I did think about going to the woods this evening, but I wasn’t feeling on top form, and once we’d done “FEED THE FISH” the dogs all went back to sleep anyway.

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up pie and chips which we scoffed whilst watching an episode of “McDonald and Dodds” in which him who was the monocled mutineer and the eight Doctor Who played a villain.

Compared to yesterday, today was rather quiet… so why do I feel worn out?

23 April 2026 (Thursday) - Rather Busy

Yesterday evening we had a dodgy five minutes when the Internet died. The same happened again as I scoffed my toast this morning which was a bit of a worry.

When it came back I saw there was a new series of geocaches near Tenterden – going right past the brewery that let us down a couple of months ago. I wasted no time in reminding people about that. Interestingly the new geocaches were hidden by people who’ve found fourteen thousand of the things but never been to a local meet-up. I must invite them personally to the midsummer event.

Not much else would seem to have happened overnight. I Munzed, Wordled from “broke” through “spend” and “cheat” and “fleet” to get it on the fifth go with “tweet”.

I took the dogs up to Kings Wood. As we drove there was a total half-wit being interviewed on the radio. I wish I knew who that person was; they were clearly someone in some position of authority to be on national radio at peak time. They were ranting that in China “they” have two weeks’ worth of food in reserve whereas in the UK the reserve is whatever is in the supermarkets right now. However when challenged about exactly who it was that holds two weeks’ worth of food in reserve, the chap got rather twitchy. Clearly in China “they” is the communist Chinese government. However the UK government doesn’t get involved in the trivia of what the free market is doing, let alone hold billions of pounds worth of food. Listening to the idiot showing his utter ignorance of basic international political theory was rather embarrassing.

We got to the woods and had a good walk. Shortly after we started Morgan was nearly run over by a jogger who wasn’t looking where he was going. Being rather shocked, Morgan barked and then growled a bit. In retrospect I probably didn't help by patiently explaining that Morgan is a small dachshund and not a ravenous sabretooth tiger, and it was rather embarrassing meeting the chap again two miles later.

At the three mile point we met a woman with two large dogs. I felt sorry for the dogs; each had a huge cow bell tied to their collars, and if either dog got more than a couple of yards from her she went hysterical. And she went absolutely bat-shit when her dogs tried to join in with our group. They seemed nice dogs, they got on fine with my three and would have been welcome to walk with us, but the odd woman wasn’t having it.

We met some chap who was walking with those silly Nordic poles; he really did look like he’d lost his skis.

We got back to the car park to find it was heaving. Several people were standing at the start of the wooded area looking at the bluebells. Two old dears got chatting with us. I pointed out the far end of the field and said that the bluebells fizzled out there, but they were really pretty some two miles into the woods. The old dears (and the others listening to our conversation) looked at the far end of the field in much the same way that I might stand at the base of Mount Everest and look at the peak. It would seem that when people go to Kings Wood to see the bluebells, a *lot* don’t go much further than the car park.

 We came home. The dogs went straight to their water bowl. I must take water for them next time we go there. I put a load of washing in to scrub, made us both a cuppa then had a look in the garden. A couple of days ago we’d seen a rat going into the garden storage box. I had a look inside; there were no rat turds or any evidence of rat. Now that I’ve dinged out a load of tat, we can close the box. A simple thing, but one which should keep the rat out. I spotted a likely hole in the fence from not-so-nice-next-door where the rat probably came through, so I bunged it up. It needed bunging; with a little effort Bailey could have forced herself through the hole and I *really* don’t want that. The obvious answer would be to replace the fence. I’ve offered to pay for that, but not-so-nice-next-door just started shrieking. Perhaps I’m being racist but she seems to take offence at the slightest provocation.

I had a little pootle round the garden, topped up the bird feeder, hung out the washing and cracked on with the ironing, giving the new ironing board its first session. As ironing boards go it did the trick.

As I ironed I watched a couple of episodes of “The Man In The High Castle”… I suspect that some of the names and places would mean more if I were more up on mid-twentieth century history. Again I found myself wondering if I did the right thing by dropping history in my fourth year at secondary school… but the history teacher we had wasn’t the best… I hesitate to say that he was crap, but there must be better ways to teach history than by over the course of the year reading out the entire history text book and having the class write down what you are reading out. 

And with telly watched I stood up. Treacle jumped up and looked at me expectantly. We have this little ritual… she knows what is coming. She knows it is time to throw handfuls of fish food into the pond. But she stands and waits, quivering with excitement, for me to say that I’m going to “FEED THE FISH” at which point she charges down the garden in excitement. She won’t go until I make the announcement.

I ran the hair trimmers over my head… and again realised that I’ve turned into my grandfather. Before he won a fortune on the football pools (it’s all gone now) he used to live two doors down the road from us. I can remember going to visit so many times only to be told that grandad had popped to the barbers. I always wondered why; he too was as bald as a coot. He used to go to the barbers at least once a week… which is about the rate at which I run the hair trimmers over my head.

I then started writing a new Wherigo. The other day Chris gave me a rather good 3-D printed pressie which would make a very good themed geocache. While we were out earlier I found somewhere to hide it. So all that remains is to write the Wherigo… this one will feature my latest anti-cheating software in the cartridge, so those that go cheating (one day I will publish a list of them!) will have to do the thing properly.

Over dinner we sparked up the Disney app (we get it free with our Sky subscription now) and started re-watching “The Orville”. When the third season came out it moved to the Disney channel, but that was so long ago we’d forgotten all that had happened so we started again.

It’s rather good, but just a shame that every time the captain speaks we hear the dog from “Family Guy”.

Today was a day off. I’ve not really stopped, and I’ve walked three times yesterday’s step count…

24 April 2026 (Friday) - Stuff

 I got up earlier than I might have done and watched another episode of “The Man in the High Castle” before sparking up my lap-top and having a look at the Internet as I do every morning. It was still there, and much the same as ever…

Someone I know was bemoaning their lot on Facebook… following a messy divorce the fellow has lost his house and half his pension to his ex-wife… but still gets to keep his two holiday homes and two flashy cars. From what I can work out from Google that’s an estimated value in the millions… I sometimes (all the time) whinge about being a pauper, but I have far more than some. The trouble with money is that everyone is inherently greedy; you can never have enough money, can you?

Google asked me to review the Duke of Cumberland. Again. Since we called in there last Saturday Google has asked me to review the place every day. I reviewed it last Sunday, but still I keep getting asked.

I Munzed. Our Clan has reached the last of our monthly targets.

I tiptoed through the rubbish the bin men had strewn up the road as I made my way to my car. Just recently the bin men have been rather better; sadly today there was something of a reversion to their previous "couldn't give a sh*t" attitude.

I set off up the motorway to work .  As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about how the Assisted Dying Bill has now failed to become law. Not because of any legal or moral reasons, but purely because there's no more time to talk about it. Only so much parliamentary time has been allocated to the matter (or any matter come to that), and if those opposed to any particular bill just keep waffling on then the thing automatically fails for lack of time, It's called "filibustering" and has been going on for years.

I went to work via Aylesford's Sainsburys.  I parked my car, and immediately the chap in the van next to me started blasting on his hooter claiming I should park away from his van. As is always the way in life, it wasn't so much what he said as how he said it. Once I'd parked elsewhere the chap jumped from his van in a rather sprightly way...

If he truly needs space to get in and out of his van then he needs to use the disabled bays which were not ten yards from where he was parked.

If he was not in any way disabled, then maybe he needs to reconsider how he acts when in a van bearing his company’s logo and details. Perhaps his company's HR department will discuss it with him?

I got in to work. I wasn't supposed to be in today, but I'd been asked to help with the new IT system. I must admit I wasn't keen on the idea, but the overtime is nice. I spent the morning reviewing the written instructions that staff will be using, but there was a minor issue when I rather confused the people in the blood bank when their label printer started printing out HLAB27 blood test results for Kermit The Frog (can’t imagine how that happened but it’s a good name for a dummy patient, isn’t it!)

I came home at mid-day and took the dogs to the woods. The woods were again incredibly busy, and chatting with all of the bluebell-watchers it would seem that most of them were having their annual pilgrimage to Kings Wood to see the bluebells. I explained to several that we are up there a few times each week; no one seemed to think that you would ever go to Kings Wood more than once a year.

Most everyone was within a hundred yards of the car park, but as we came back to the car after our walk we found a young couple who’d ventured half a mile into the wood… and got lost. They intimated that I might rescue them… I pointed at Morgan and said that I was following the dachshund as he seemed to know where he was going. They both accepted that without question and started following him too.

We came home where I made us both a cuppa, and I spent a few minutes cartoon-ising the photos I’d taken in the woods. I then spent an hour marking more trainee’s work… I’d expected to spend the entire day doing overtime today so I didn’t mind an extra hour after our walk.

I stood up and was watched by the dogs who quivered in excitement until I said that I was going to “FEED THE FISH” when they flew up the garden.

With fish fed the dogs went back to sleep and I had a look at the monthly accounts. They could be better… ideally I’d have a bank balance in the millions, but they could be a whole lot worse…

We had pizza, we watched yesterday’s episode of “Race Across the World” in which the contestants went from Turkey to Georgia. And another episode of “The Orville”

I’ve got another early start tomorrow...

25 April 2026 (Saturday) - Early Shift

I came downstairs (far too early) to find Morgan pacing. I let him out and once he’d done his bit he went upstairs where I could hear him pacing again. Once I’d lifted him past Treacle (who was already on the bed) he soon settled. He’s funny like that; he’s absolutely terrified of Treacle all the time she is higher than he is.

I made toast and watched another episode of “The Man in the High Castle”. I quite like that show… and it has been making me think. I realise it is a make-believe show, but the characters in the fictional Japanese Empire and the characters in the equally fictional Greater German Reich and the characters in the supposedly defeated America are all fiercely patriotic about their way of life. From what I can see this is for no other reason that they were born into that faction so it is inherently the right one and everyone else’s is wrong. This isn’t a philosophy to which I can relate… sometimes it bothers me that I am not at all patriotic. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t dislike my home country but I *really* don’t seem to have the unswerving loyalty to it which so many others seem to have.

I wish I knew why, and what I was missing.

I had a little look at the Internet as I do most mornings. The Facebook page of a shop in Hastings Old Town commented that the shop has been sold… The chap who runs that Facebook page has been incredibly opinionated on social media over the last few months and year. I can’t help wonder just how many of his potential customers he has alienated. I can remember the chap who ran a little shop where I used to live where I used to get rabbit food. I would listen to him chatting with customers supporting the government of the day, and then five minutes later running them down with another customer… The trouble with customers is that no two agree and you have to keep them all sweet. Going on social media forces you to take a stance… and in doing so alienate half your customers.

I saw an ex-colleague was having his birthday today. Once someone with whom I spent a large part of every day, our children were born about the same time, we’d go to the pub after work, we used to go to the same social clubs… and now we no longer work together I’ve not seen the chap for over fifteen years.

As I drove to work so the "Farming Today" program was on the radio. There was a lot of talk about how the UK spends a fortune importing expensive fertilisers from around the world, but no one being interviewed had any sensible reason why no one goes round the UK's fields and farms gathering up more of the cow shit which (so it was claimed) would do every bit as good a job as the imported stuff for a fraction of the price. 

Someone's already wised up to this though - you can get the stuff in B&Q...

But from my personal experience there's quite a lot more cow turds still to be had.

And then there was talk about how the Argentines want the Falklands back and are agitating about it. It would seem that President Trump has told them he would support them in the matter as he's sulking about the UK not joining in with the war he's started in the Middle East. Not that it's got anything to do with him. I can't see the UK giving up the Falklands easily though. The UK invaded and re-took them not that long ago (and I don’t remember the US helping that much then). The islanders want to remain as part of the UK. And (the crucial bit) there's loads of oil round them to be had.

I got to work, sent the night shift home, Munzed and Wordled, then cracked on with the early shift. I tuned in to Steve on the radio and mis-heard the "Guess the Lyrics" competition. It sounded like "love just like a diction now I'm hooked on you", but I had no idea what that was. Sadly the the internet signal was rather squafty and work got in the way of me listening. Work does that. I missed the Mystery Year competition, to say nothing of missing Dog Club as well. 

Being the weekend I treated myself to dinner in the works canteen. The works canteen is rather good - two pieces of barbecue chicken with chips and cherry pie with custard for a fiver. Can’t be bad.

With work done I came home. We had kebabs for dinner and had a go on the Infinity Table. You can’t beat a bit of “Ticket to Ride”… I won two out of eight games, and one was a draw so it wasn’t the utter rout it has been in the past.

26 April 2026 (Sunday) - Kingsdown

I slept well, but woke with the world’s worst hangover. What was that all about? I only had one bottle of Sainsbury’s own-brand ale and one bottle of “Old Speckled Hen” last night.

There was a bit of a performance when we got up – we wanted to wash the sheets (to take advantage of the decent weather to dry them) but persuading dogs to get off of the bed took some doing. Eventually I got them (the sheets, not the dogs) into the washing machine.

I made toast and had my usual peer into the Internet as I do. It was much the same as it ever is… or was it? A couple of years ago I was inundated with friend requests on Facebook ostensibly from scantily clad young ladies all keen to “do the dirty deed” with, on or at me. I’ve not had one of those for over a year now. These days I get suggestions of people I may know who I’ve never met and never will. This morning the “you might know” suggestion was some young chap who seems to spend a lot of time shooting things in the Norfolk countryside. Mind you when I say “some young chap”, pretty much everyone is young these days. As Albert once remarked, everything’s relative.

I Munzed and Wordled from “slept” through “clams” to get it on the third attempt with “gloss”.

My brother and nephew visited. The come over to Ashford every couple of months to go to the MacArther Glen outlet centre. I can see the place from my back bedroom and I go there maybe once a year. I can’t see the attraction of paying far too much for stuff you can get for a fraction of the price from Amazon, but what do I know?

I gathered yet more dog turds, hung out the washed sheets, and we drove down to Kingsdown where there was a geo-meet. Today several of us gathered and wandered up and down the beach picking up litter. There was a surprising amount to gather. As well as no end of various detritus I found two helium balloons, an old plastic canister (which was two feet tall!) and three quarters of an old pallet.

And with litter gathered we adjourned to the beer garden of the Zetland Arms where a dozen of us sat and put the world to rights over a could of pints of beer. The “Creekside” was rather good.

We came home, and spent an hour or so slobbing in the garden over more beer.

After a little sleep we had dinner and watched a couple more episodes of “The Orville”. Watching the credits it would seem that a lot of people who worked on Star Trek were involved in the production – including Jonathan Frakes as director. I didn’t know that.

27 April 2026 (Monday) - Lost Lead, Eaten Fish

I woke in the small hours needing a tiddle, and I had this stroke of genius that if I put a load of washing in to scrub I could then go back to kip, and hang it out when I woke up. I put the load of washing in, went back to bed, and lay awake for a few hours wondering if the washing machine had done its thing.

I eventually gave up laying awake and got up at half past seven, hung out that washing and made toast.

I had my usual look at the Internet. It was still there… Interestingly there was very little mention of St George’s Day on Facebook. What with it having been St George’s Day last Friday, in years gone by there would have been parades and processions about it. There was a church service in Rye that a friend had been to, but that was about it. No one even seemed to have been round replacing the tatty flags that went up a year or so ago.

There was precious little about the London Marathon to be seen either. Usually there’s a few of my friends posting photos of themselves looking worn out at the end of it.

I Munzed, Wordled my way from “hours” through “trade” to “libre” which was a mistake. When I realised that, I was rather stuck. Eventually I came up with “eeire”.

I took the dogs up to the woods. Last week I found a good little hidey-hole for the bird geocache that Chris gave me. I’ve written a Wherigo cartridge for it – people will play a silly little game on their phone in the comfort of their own home, and then go out and find the geocache

Today we put the thing out while on our walk.

We took a different route to usual. We met four groups of other dogs, and each meeting passed off nicely and without episode. I’m absolutely convinced that the lead is the problem. We’ve never had an issue when our dogs meet other dogs when everyone is off the lead.

And talking of leads, at the three mile point I realised that Bailey’s lead wasn’t round my neck…

I had a vague idea where I might have dropped it so we sort-of backtracked. We met a nice lady who pointed out the lead just down the track from where we met her. She said that the problem with picking up lost property is where do you leave it to be found? She said better to leave it where it was dropped and the loser could re-trace their steps to find it. She’s probably got a point.

The nice lady’s friend said “hello Dave” and asked me about working at Maidstone and clearly knew me. I smiled politely. Half a mile later I suddenly realised who she was. Fortunately we met again at the car park and I was able to apologize for my rubbish memory. We both had a good laugh… but it bothers me that I am so hopeless at recognising people. I must come over as very rude, but I have a terrible memory for faces.

I dropped the dogs home then went running errands. I sent to the vet’s to get the tick-repelling collars. Having pulled one off of Treacle we’d realised that it was that time again.

And I went to Dobbies where I got a couple of grass carp for the little pond. The plan was that they should sort out the algae. And I got us an apple turnover each for lunch.

I came home. The apple turnovers were (in all honesty) something of a disappointment. A little more apple, a little more turnover, and a lot less sugar would have been nice.

I then went into the garden. I spent a little while building a little frame to put over the little pond. A wooden frame with a mesh of fishing line to keep any predators out. It took a couple of hours to build and get in place.

“er indoors ^TM” then commented that the bog filter on the big pond was running slow so I turned the pumps off, got out a screwdriver, took the pumps apart and pulled fistfuls of fish turds out of the pumps. As I fiddled about so Morgan came past munching one of the little grass carp that I’d bought earlier. So much for that protective predator-deterring frame, eh?

Morgan got a severe bollocking, and once I’d sorted the big pond I went back to the little one and added a lot more fishing line to the mesh cover. Here’s hoping.

In the meantime I need another little fish. I shall pop into the garden centre at some point this week and hope someone different is on duty. Explaining that I need a replacement fish because my dog ate the last one would be a tad embarrassing.

I loaded the car for tomorrow’s tip run, and tehn spent a little while finishing all the web pages for the new Wherigo, and I’ve sent it to the geo-Feds to see if they approve. If all is OK I shall get it to actually go live on Friday – that way I get an e-souvenir as there’s one for everyone who makes the effort to hide a geocache in May this year. There’s also one for August too, but I shall worry about that later.

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up some burgers and went bowling. As the dogs snored I washed the undercrackers and watched a couple of episodes of “The Man In The High Castle”.

Again on a so-called day off I haven’t stopped. Today’s step count is a shade under seventeen thousand… I’m going to work for a rest tomorrow…

28 April 2026 (Tuesday) - A Day At Work

Once I’d forcibly shoved Treacle over, I had a reasonable night’s sleep right up to the point where I was having a nightmare in which I was trying to panic-buy antique eighteenth century trousers so that I could join the eighteenth century militia. I woke in a cold sweat and was suddenly wide awake. What was that all about?

I got up, made toast and watched an episode of “The Man In The High Castle” which is slowly but surely turning into a rather better version of “Quantum Leap”.

I then had my usual rummage round the Internet  A friend was trying to help raise money to send a child suffering with seizures to Mexico for a revolutionary new treatment which is not available on the NHS… I was reminded of the chap who was my best man. He had an incurable eye disease and fifty years ago there was a massive fundraising campaign to send him to Switzerland for a revolutionary new treatment which was not available on the NHS. The reason why that treatment was not available on the NHS was because it was a scam. I wonder if this is the same?

I sent out birthday wishes to the four friends having a birthday today, and got ready for work.

As I drove to work so the pundits on the radio were talking about the growing concern over the rise of artificial intelligence...  Those with any sense at all have realised that leaving the development of AI to those who are making a profit from it is somewhat foolhardy. But isn't this the whole idea of the American dream and of Thatcher's Britain though?  For years we were told that government control of anything was a bad thing and absolutely everything is better left to those who do it for a profit.  Even though it's rather obvious to anyone with any sense that giving unfettered access to potentially world-dominating technology to those who make money out of it is silly. Personally I would suggest that it is a tad late to be discovering the concept of "vested interests", but (as I so often say) what do I know?

And there were reports of the King's visit to America where he is sucking up to Donald Trump. I must admit that when he came to the throne I thought he'd make a complete arse of it, but the King's done far better than I thought he would... up till today.

He really should have phoned in sick rather than trying to appease a nutter.

I did my bit at work. At lunch time I slipped out. I'd got a carful of rubbish to go to the tip. With Ashford's tip closed I'd arranged to go to the tip near work before the late shift today, but yesterday I was asked if I could swap shifts... I'd much rather do a core shift and spend my lunch break doing a tip run than do a late shift, so that's what I did. And the tip run was all done and dusted in less than half an hour.

I went back to work where we had a Red Alert. I've mentioned before that they aren't as exciting as you might think... those who do my job have on occasion described it as hours of the mundane interspersed with split seconds of OMG. 

Getting home was a bit of a palaver this evening… someone in Francis Road was moving house and had parked the removal van right in the middle of the road completely blocking it in all directions.

And as I walked home from where I’d parked I nearly tripped over the charging cable coming out of someone’s window, going across the pavement and into the electric car parked in the street. I’ve always said that I’d like an electric car but charging it would be an issue… Perhaps this is the way forward… all the time no one actually trips over it, all would be peachy.

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a rather good chili which we scoffed whilst watching a couple of episodes of “The Orville”. And as I type this we are watching some documentary about The Beatles on the Disney channel…

I know it is tantamount to heresy, but am I alone in thinking that The Beatles were (and are) just a tad over-rated?

29 April 2026 (Wednesday) - Bookish ?

I was up far too early this morning. My heart sank as I watched an episode of “The Man in the High Castle” as two of the main protagonists became rather lesbidaceous, and another flopped the jubblies out. Not that I’m taking any moral high ground here, but when this happened in “Game of Thrones” it coincided with the writer obviously running out of ideas. Let’s hope this isn’t the beginning of the end for what has been a rather good show so far.

As I peered into Facebook I saw that our MP had posted last night explaining why he had voted in favour of the Prime Minister not being investigated. He wasn’t fooling anyone though. Leaving aside the total waste of time it would be to investigate the Prime Minister, the real reason our MP voted the way he did was because he’d been told to do so. Back in the day in the run-up to the last general election he was claiming that black was white and shit was sugar, but in retrospect he was just saying anything which would endear him to the electorate. And have endeared himself and got elected the chap now talks a good fight but has no opinions of his own. He simply parrots that which the Labour party whips tell him to say, regardless of anything he might have said in the past. As a life-long-leftie it bothers me that actually having a Labour MP has turned out to be something of a disappointment.

And I had an email thanking me. Regular readers of this drivel may recall that last year I made a financial investment. I lent someone called Edgar fifteen quid to help him finance a pig farm in the Philippines. Edgar has now made a success of his pig farm and has fully repaid his loans… and he’s repaid me thirteen pounds and eighty-one pence. Now I’m no financial wizard, but I rather thought that when I invested fifteen quid I would get more than fifteen quid back… I always thought that was how “an investment” worked.

However rather than cashing in my profit, last night I decided to speculate to accumulate and I’ve lent it to another pig farm; this one in Ecuador. I put up a post on Facebook last night suggesting people might like to also invest in struggling third world businesses. This morning I got a little thank you because someone had clicked on the link I’d put up and had signed up themselves. If anyone else fancies having a go, here’s the link.

And it would seem that Munzee aren’t doing Clan War any more. That’s a shame – it has been something which has kept me out of mischief for some time. However nil desperandum… Munzee are launching “Gauntlet Games” which to my untutored eye looks to be exactly the same as Clan War in all but name.

I set the dishwasher going, and got ready for the early shift.

I went down the road to my car taking care not to trip over the same cable that I saw charging the electric car yesterday.  It had been over the pavement for over twelve hours... According to Sections 162 and 178 of the Highways Act 1980, it is illegal to place a wire or apparatus over, along, or across a public highway...

I was tempted to pretend I'd gone arse over tit over it and see if I might get some compensation. After all, if I don't someone else will. 

I set off to work listening to the news.  The King is still in America... I originally wondered if he mightn't have done better by staying away, but he seems to be impressing President Trump. Maybe his going there was for the best?

I got to work and realised I'd forgotten to pop in at Sainsburys for a sandwich. I had a look at the works branch of M&S instead and wished I hadn't. You can get a decent sandwich snack and drink and change out of four quid from Sainsburys. M&S wanted six quid for a rather manky looking sandwich, a rather miniscule bag of crisps and a tiny bottle of water. 

I went to the hospital's league of friends shop instead...  It was still more expensive than Sainsbury's, but nowhere near as grim as what M&S were offering.

Work was work... could you believe that none of my colleagues had heard of Mrs McCave?

And as I scoffed my sandwich from the hospital's league of friends shop my Kindle app told me it had given me an award for being “bookish”.

Being on an early I got out early and came home to find that electric car down the road was still being charged. How long does it take to charge an electric car from a living room socket?

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up some rather good fajitas which we washed down with a rather grim bottle of plonk. If ever you feel tempted to get outside of a bottle of “Drop Anchor” personally I wouldn’t bother.  If you ever find yourself in possession of a bottle of the stuff… I’ve had worse.

We followed it up with half a bottle of amaretto as we watched three episodes of “The Orville”… I’ve heard the show described as the best series of Star Trek that we never had, and that’s probably not an unfair description.

30 April 2026 (Thursday) - Busy

I spent much of the night trying to get comfortable. Whilst either carrying the pallet half a mile up the beach at Sunday’s litter pick or doing Monday’s gardening I somehow pulled a muscle. My left hand has been numb and my left shoulder has been hurting all week.

I interrupted my morning shave to go outside. There was a loud crashing above me. Were there rats in the ceiling space? I went out to see a huge seagull flying away. Better a seagull than a rat. I had a quick look at the little pond – the predator deterrent seemed to be doing the trick.

I scoffed toast whilst peering at a dull internet, then once we’d got the tick-repelling collars onto the dogs I took them up to the woods.

We had a good walk. The swamps have all dried up, we found no fox poo. But at several points we saw several people lurking maybe ten to fifteen yards from the paths. Just standing in the undergrowth. It’s too early in the year for mushrooms – what were they all up to?

And there was a minor incident as we came back to the car park. Some elderly chap had taken a tumble. I helped him back up and he was fine… he’d just gone arse over tit and couldn’t get back up again, and his elderly wife wasn’t up to the task of heaving him up. Mind you when I say “elderly” they probably weren’t that much older than me… I wonder how long it will be before I couldn’t get up if I was to cark over? After all I did cark over in the mud just a month or so ago.

I stopped off at the post box in Chart Road on the way home to post a turd to the NHS. As part of the bowel cancer screening programme everyone of a certain age gets to post the NHS a turd every couple of years.

When I first started in pathology many years ago things were very different… These days you choose your specialty *before* you apply for a job. Back in the day you were taken on as a generic trainee and you spent two years going round the various departments to see what you liked best, and what liked you best. It didn’t take me long to opt for a specialty that doesn’t involve testing turds. Back in the day I tested quite a few of them and decided that it wasn’t for me…

We came home to an empty house. “er indoors ^TM” was having meetings today. That was nice for her. I made myself a cuppa and scoffed the last of the Bakewell tarts, Munzed, and Wordled from “watch” to “clock” to get “crock” on the third attempt. Then despite my aching shoulder and hand I went into the garden.

I gathered turds, I strimmed, I mowed, I cleaned out the big pond’s filter. It has to be said that clearing the turds of a dozen fish is far easier than clearing those of three small dogs.

I then fiddled about having a bit of a tidy-up inside. I then put some washing in to scrub, and as it scrubbed I marked some trainee work and wrote up some CPD.

I did the ironing whilst watching episodes of “The Man in the High Castle” which would seem to have developed a cheapskate version of Project Tic-Toc (for those old enough to remember it). I Hoovered. I got the hair trimmers out and gave Bailey a little tidy-up. Not that she was in any way grateful.

I filled up the bird feeder, I did “FEED THE FISH”, and just as I settled to have a little doze by the pond so “er indoors ^TM” returned with a load of shopping that needed carrying in.

We had pie and chips for dinner and watched a couple of episodes of “The Orville” as we scoffed. They were rather good (the episodes and the pie and chips).

I’ve got an early start tomorrow so I should really have an early night. But I’m looking forward to having a rest tomorrow. People think I’m joking when I ay I go to work for a rest, but yesterday was a work day and I covered just over four thousand steps. I did over four times that amount today…

And my hand and shoulder still hurt.