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1 April 2024 (Monday)
- Building the Plant Box
I
had hoped for a bit of a lie-in this morning. “er
indoors TM” ‘s alarm went off like it usually does,
and then there was a major commotion outside at half last seven. Some idiot had driven his huge lorry through the barrier at the
top of the road, found himself facing a queue of incoming traffic and then
started shouting about it. You would think that people would think twice
about making a complete cock of themselves when they are in the firm’s lorry
with the firm’s name emblazoned all over it, wouldn’t you? I gave up trying to sleep go up, made brekkie and had a look at the Internet. April Fool
abounded with the Lego corporation announcing a full-sized Minion model,
local Facebook groups showing photos of mis-spelled signs on the local
college, and one Sparks fan page suddenly being devoted to wombles. And sadly this provoked no end of squabbles from people who
didn’t understand the concept of “April Fool” or “Humour”. I spent an hour weeding and tidying up in the garden
until “er indoors TM” and the dogs emerged
from the pit. Once I’d hung out washing we took the
dogs to the park. I had this vague idea to try the cooked breakfast in the
dog-friendly café in the park but there was an Easter Egg hunt in the park
and the café was full of face painting. We just had a little wander and
walked home. As we walked I tried to get inside
Morgan’s head. I wish I knew what he thinks. When on the lead on the way to
the park he was confrontational and aggressive to other dogs. When off the
lead in the park he was playing nicely with other dogs. We had the same
yesterday at the Leas. We came home via the corner shop where I got
pastries. We had them with a cuppa, and just as the
second load of washing finished so the heavens opened. It didn’t rain for
long; just long enough to get everything wet. Bearing in mind the box I was building for the
garden needed something solid to stand on (or the base would rot away)
I popped to B&Q for a paving slab. Oh dear… B&Q was absolutely heaving this morning.
Children were running round screaming; people were randomly blundering about.
Maybe one in twenty was actually looking where they
were going. Some people were looking at what was for sale in total amazement
in much the same way that I would go to the zoo and look at the animals. I got the slab I needed and got out as quickly as I
could. I came home; “er indoors TM” set
off to visit family. Not wanting to leave the dogs all afternoon I stayed
home. Seeing the rain had stopped I had a look at the box-sections I made
yesterday. I put them together into a box. They didn’t fit together quite as
precisely as they might have done, but a clout or two with a hammer got them
into shape. I lined the box, painted it, and the rain started again. Realising it was two o’clock and that I felt hungry I
stopped for scoff.. Yesterday I had an out-of-date Mars bar for lunch.
Today I had a bag of peanuts. As I scoffed I watched
another episode of “The
Gentlemen”. And seeing it was still raining when that episode
finished, I watched another. By then the rain had stopped. So… the purpose of the
garden box was to replace the poggered pot one of
our shrubs lives in. So I heave the poggered pot out of the way, got the new box into place,
filled it with soil, transplanted the shrub and tidied up. Ten seconds to
type; an hour and a half to do. It does look better than it was though. By
one of those strange co-incidences Facebook memories told me that I first got
the shrub I transplanted exactly six
years ago today. It is a “sorbaria
sorbifolia” and according to the Internet it is quite hardy. I
wonder if it will survive the transplanting? “My
Boy TM” got one at the same time that
I did and his soon died – and he is good at
gardening. I’ve
two more shrubs to transplant. Which means two more boxes to build. If any of
my loyal readers have an old picnic table or old shed or any old random lumps
of wood kicking about… I can swap them for sorbaria
sorbifolia cuttings or a big poggered
flower pot. “er
indoors TM” came home with
kebab which we scoffed whilst watching the first two episodes of the second
season of “Lego Masters: New Zealand”. That kebab’s not sitting well… |
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2 April 2024
(Tuesday) - Spare Cake (?)
With
the kebab not sitting well it took a little while for me to get off to sleep
last night. It was a shame that her next door had either a nightmare or very
noisy sex at quarter to three. Whichever it was, there was a lot of
screaming. I’ve not seen her today; I do hope she wasn’t being murdered.
What’s the etiquette for that sort of thing? I didn’t get back to sleep after that. Over toast I watched an episode of “Friday Night
Dinner” then had a quick look at the Internet. One day it might be
different; today it was dull. I sent out a couple of birthday
wishes, and got ready for work. Now the clocks have gone forward I put on a
summer shirt. I have summer and winter shirts (doesn’t everyone?) I set off to work through the rain. As I drove I listened to the radio. I've not done that for a
week; it's amazing how quickly you can get out of touch with the world. As a
child I couldn't understand my grandfather's fascination with the news. It
was so dull. It is still dull, but you miss so much if you don't pay
attention. Aid workers in Gaza have been killed by
Israeli forces. This isn't the first time innocents
have got caught in the crossfire. The Israelis are doing themselves no favours. And the Prime Minister has announced that fifteen hours of free
childcare is now available for working parents of two-year-olds. Or, to be precise, working parents of two-year-olds are
entitled to fifteen hours of free childcare. A subtle difference, maybe. However being entitled to it doesn't mean they will get
it. There aren't actually enough spaces in nurseries
for all the two-year-olds because there aren't enough nurseries. Here we see
the stark difference between Conservative and Labour
philosophy. The Conservatives announce the policy and expect private
enterprise to deliver. Which it doesn't. On the other hand Labour would have child care delivered by the
state... if
it were to be offering it. Which it isn't keen to do because there aren't
enough nurseries for all the two-year-olds. Neither party can deliver, but have different reasons for not doing so.
There's something to think about when casting your vote in the upcoming
elections. We don't so much choose what we want, rather we choose our reasons
for not getting what we want. As I drove up the motorway my phone beeped. I could
see from the notification on my watch that there was a new virtual geocache at Hadleigh
castle. Bearing in mind that these things are rather rare and so getting to
be first to find one of these takes some doing, I got rather excited.
Hadleigh castle isn't far off of my way to work...
And then I realised. It is Hadlow tower which isn't
far off of my way to work. Hadleigh castle is in
Essex. Oh well... I got to work and did that which I couldn't avoid.
But there was cake. Lots of it. Someone back from maternity leave had made
Easter cupcakes, someone had a birthday last Saturday ,and
someone else had brought in a spare cake. "Spare cake". Not
a concept I understand... With work worked I came home slowly. “Operation
Brock” is a pain in the glass. “er
indoors TM” boiled up chili and I scoffed an Easter
egg for afters. My guts haven’t been right all day – I suspect this
won’t help them. Being at work today my step count was under four
thousand steps. This last week when I wasn’t at work
I didn’t have a day with a step count under ten thousand. |
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3 April 2024
(Wednesday) - A Cyclist...
As
I scoffed toast I watched the last episode of “Friday
Night Dinner”. A rather good series; now to find
something else to watch before work. With nothing much happening on-line I set off to
Pembury and work. As I drove the pundits on the radio were
interviewing some idiot who was complaining about how much cheaper
supermarkets are than little local shops, how it wasn’t fair on the small
shopkeepers, and how we should all boycott the supermarkets to teach them a
lesson. There’s no denying that (relatively speaking)
supermarkets are cheap. Back in the day when “Daddy’s Little
Angel TM” tried to run a small shop she found that
supermarkets were selling a lot of stuff cheaper than she could get it from
the cash & carry. Supporting small shops is all very well if you can
afford to do so. Personally I think the most recent
fruit of my loins did the right thing in cutting her losses and not trying to
compete with Tesco. There was then a lot of talk about business… various
experts were wheeled on to discuss all sorts of things. Retail, hotels, pubs,
cinemas, nursing homes… the only thing that any of the experts were
interested in was do these things make money? That’s the bottom line, isn’t
it? I got to work and did my bit. And slipped off early
to use up a couple of hours of leave. As I drove home
I listened to an album. Fifty years ago Sparks
released “Kimono
My House”; one of my favourite
albums. I have lists of
favourite books and singles. Perhaps I should list
my favourite albums too? A few months ago I heard that Pale Wizard Records were looking to bring
out a cover album; all the tracks on the album covered by various bands. They
were asking for crowdfunding and I signed up right
away. I listened to the album
of cover versions as I drove home. Sadly, of the twelve tracks two
were good, two were OK and the rest were something of a disappointment. Such a shame. I got home and thought I might take the dogs to the
park. But I forgot the schools were on holiday. We had an episode… As I was walking through the park
I sensed something behind me. I turned to see some child on a pedal bike
maybe two yards behind me, pedalling like a thing
possessed whilst looking back over his shoulder at some old woman way behind
(grandmother, perhaps?) The child suddenly noticed that he was about
to crash into me, swerved, and missed Treacle by inches. He then carried on
cycling whilst looking back at me shouting apologies. I should have smiled and said nothing, but I didn’t. I suggested he might like to stop apologizing, turn
his head and look where he was going. Bearing in
mind he was on a straight line for the river (only a few yards away) I
thought that was rather sage advice. It was at this point that grandmother
caught up and snapped at me that I should be more patient as it was only his
third day on the bike. I suggested that she might have told him to look where
he was going on day one. I marched off leaving her looking most indignant, I
did my little whistle, and all three dogs followed me at heel. We came home to find Bailey had rolled in something
disgusting. Hopefully she’d done that after our little episode. I then dozed in front of the telly for far too long.
Early starts are a tad too much like hard work. “er
indoors TM” boiled up pork chops and we scoffed them
whilst watching more “Lego Masters: New Zealand”. I’m hoping that after peanuts, chili and Easter
eggs, pork chops might sort my innards out. |
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4 April 2024
(Thursday) - It Rained
I
awoke at eight o’clock and spent a couple of minutes watching Morgan and
Bailey scrapping until they noticed I was awake. They mobbed me for a minute
or so, then we all came downstairs for brekkie. There were two squabbles on Facebook this morning.
One was on a “Dad’s Army” page I follow in which someone had made a
tit of himself by not reading what someone else had written. Having read the
first word, assumed the rest, and launched an
utterly unfounded and irrelevant rant he was then just compounding his error. The other was an April Fool’s joke that had
backfired. If you change the name of a Facebook group
it would seem you can’t change it again for a month. And so
what was once a Sparks-related page will be attracting a lot of
womble-related interest until May. Seeing a bright day outside I loaded the dogs into
the car and we set off to Challock.
As we drove there was a rather interesting program about the life and times of Nikola
Tesla. As is so often the case, for all that he was a genius, money is
made by showmen and those who start off with money. We got to the woods. There were four cars in the car
park, and we saw three other dog walkers; all within
a hundred yards of the car park. About a mile into the woods
we met a woman on a horse. I whistled and all three dogs turned away from the
horse and came to me to get their leads put on. They then stood as good as
gold quietly watching the horse walk by. They behave far better when it’s
just me with them. At our furthest point form the car park so the blue
skies suddenly turned black and the heavens opened.
We were soaked by the time we got back to the car. We came home for a warming shower. I put wet clothes
into the washing machine and then over a cuppa I
piddled about on-line. The Dog Club insurance was due. However
there’s an issue with the Dog Club. The club runs reasonably well, but what
happens when there is an issue or something needs to
be done? The chap who started it left some time ago. The chap who took over
set up a WhatsApp group of people who’d offered to help him, and then
disappeared himself. Having made the mistake of offering to be a point of
contact for the Repton centre people, the Repton people contacted me earlier
in the week asking for the insurance money (a reasonable request). How do we raise it? I asked the WhatsApp group… I
can remember the chap who used to run my old Boys Brigade group telling me
that if I wanted to avoid getting anything done, I should set up a committee.
After three days, only three of the eight people in the WhatsApp group
replied. I made a decision about how we would
proceed. I’ve paid it and hopefully people will pay me their bit when they
see me. It works out to about £2.50 per dog. I told the club what I’d decided
via the club’s Facebook page. Next time there’s something to be done I will just
do it and tell people what I’ve done after I’ve done it. I then had a little sweep around the garden. I
wanted to do so much more out there, but the recent rain had made everything
so wet. I had a little doze, then after lunch I got the third load of washing
out of the washing machine and set about the ironing. As I ironed I watched
episodes of “Four In a Bed”. The people running a rather camp art
gallery refused to put on a cooked breakfast because it would upset the art.
The second people refused to put on a cooked breakfast because they’d
converted their kitchen into a bedroom. And the last people refused to put on
a cooked breakfast because it was too much arse ache. But they all criticized the others for
not doing so. “er
indoors TM” went shopping. I boiled up dinner. It didn’t turn out that bad really.
As we scoffed we watched more “Lego Masters:
New Zealand”. I could make good Lego models better than the ones in
the show *if* I had access to the brick pit with two million Lego
bricks and if I didn’t have such a strict time limit. |
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5 April 2024 (Friday)
- Goats
As
I scoffed toast this morning I saw an impressive
squabble on one of the Star Trek Facebook groups that I follow about some
trivial point in a Star Trek episode from fifty years ago. As the argument
went on it became painfully clear that the more vocal people in the quarrel
hadn’t actually watched much “Star Trek”.
Some people just like an argument. I had some emails. My credit score with credit karma
has gone up by nine points. Even though I’ve halved my working hours and the pension people haven’t stumped up yet. I have to wonder what that score is actually scoring. And I had an email about the dog insurance. It turns
out that the Dog Club has got a specific policy for dog clubs through the
Repton people, so that’s my mind at rest. Leaving “er indoors TM” with
the dogs I set off on a little Munzee mission round town, then set off down
the motorway to Folkestone. As I drove I listened
to Dr Tim Spector on
Desert Island Discs; a favourite radio program of
mine. Like all the other castaways on that show Dr Spector has had a
fascinating life, but has a frankly dreadful taste
in music. I got to Folkestone where “Daddy’s Little
Angel TM” was tearing her hair out. She was ready to go,
but being too small to know any different, “Darcie Waa Waa TM” was
just being difficult. And “Stormageddon – Bringer of Destruction TM” was
still in bed. We eventually got ourselves organized and set off
back up the motorway. It wasn’t long before we were in the car park of Buttercups goat sanctuary putting
on our wellies. We had an excellent hour or so at the place. You can
walk in and pet the goats. They are very friendly. You can feed them too (with
bags of goat food bought at the place). Feeding is done from the other
side of a fence as they can get rather forceful and demanding. It is
suggested that you don’t feed the goats wearing the purple collars, but I
never did find out why. I did notice that when feeding, the ones with the red
collars were rather pushy and it was quite tricky making sure that a goat
without a red collar got some food. “Darcie Waa Waa TM” seemed
rather put out that the goats didn’t sit and offer a paw before getting fed.
I suppose I can see her point; the dogs at home have to
do that, so why shouldn’t the goats? We did chuckle when having an ice-cream at the
sanctuary’s shop. An epically fat woman who had just gone arse-over-tit in the mud (and
was caked in mud) was having a real spiteful rant at her mate who had
just come out of the shop with two bags of goat food. What good was goat food
to her? She couldn’t eat it. And she wasn’t joking, either. After an hour or so we washed our hands and wandered
back to the car. If ever you are in the Maidstone area and at a loose end I
can’t recommend the goat sanctuary highly enough. I took
a few photos whilst we were there. We returned to Folkestone for McDinner.
Some little brat was running round the place screaming. I just kept quiet and
watched. After ten minutes and various pointed comments from pretty much
everyone else in the place, the brat’s mother (rather pathetically)
asked him to sit down. The brat stopped, looked mother in the eye, said “No”
and carried on running. Perhaps a crack on the arse might have shown the brat the error of its
ways? I took “Daddy’s Little Angel TM”
and her tribe home, then came home myself. I had planned to take the dogs
out, but “er indoors TM” had already taken
them on a little adventure of their own, so I had a cuppa
and a much-needed few minutes rest. “er
indoors TM” boiled up pie
and chips which we scoffed whilst watching more episodes of “Lego Masters:
New Zealand”. Again fast forwarding through the
adverts reduced an hour’s recording to forty minutes. Who still watches adverts in this
day and age? |
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6 April 2024
(Saturday) - Dog Club, Kearsney Abbey
There
was some minor excitement last night. When tumble drying you need to get the
stuff out of the tumble drier when it finishes so it can air out otherwise it
ends up damp. So I was awake about two hours later
than usual waiting for the thing to finish so’s I could air the smalls when
suddenly there was a major commotion next door, and then a frantic hammering
on our front door. New-next-door was in her jim-jams in a bit of a state because her house was
flooding. I went to have a look; more out of a sense of moral support than in
being able to do anything practical. Sure enough
water was pouring through the ceiling. She showed me a cavity in the wall in
which the stop cock lived, but I couldn’t find any stop cock in there.
Another neighbour had found the leak – their
bathroom is upstairs and water was gushing from
underneath the sink. It struck me that I could do something… there’s a stop
cock in our back garden which controls the flow of water to our house. In the
past that has turned off new-next-door’s water too. I went and turned it, and
sure enough the water stopped. She seemed a tad less fraught with the water
stopped. She was adamant that she could clean up on her own
so I left her with instructions to call me at any time if there were any
developments and I went to bed. And lay there wide awake unable to sleep
after all the excitement. I was just nodding off when my mobile rang. Some
chap who’d arrived with new-next-door’s mum had fixed the cause
of the leak. Could I turn the water back on. I told her I could do better
than that; I could show her where the stop cock was (and still is). We all went into the back garden, turned on the
water, went back to check the repair, and seeing all was well I went back to
bed. In the meantime several of her friends and
family had arrived to help sort the flood. I left them to it and went back to
bed shortly after two o’clock. I got up at seven o’clock and had a look at the
Internet. It was still there, and petty squabbles abounded. From posts on Facebook I saw an old mucker was in Sydney. This chap
leads an interesting lifestyle. Having got a PhD in physics he then took a
law degree and now works in the legalities of intellectual property. He once
commented that it is cheaper to live in hotels than to have a house in the
style he would like, and since all he needs to be able to work is a reliable
internet connection he travels the world from hotel to hotel. Sometimes I think I might have done better than a
terraced house with more dogs than sense, but would I want that lifestyle?
Each to their own, I suppose. I also saw my cousin was on a four-day fishing
session not far from Pembury. After two days he’s caught a fish. I’ve not
been fishing for years… I had a quick Munzee session from the couch, opened
two Qrates and got two more and took my life in my
hands by waking “er indoors TM” and the
dogs. We got ourselves together and set off to Dog Club.
There was a decent turn-out today. The dogs had a great time running and
chasing about. For all that the rain held off, it was still rather muddy. On the way to Dog Club I’d
completely failed with Steve’s “Guess the Lyrics” competition on the
radio, but I got the mystery year on the way home. ABC’s “Poison Arrow”
and the introduction of the twenty-pence piece. 1982. We had a cuppa, then on
with the next part of the day. I drove to Folkestone to collect “Daddy’s
Little Angel TM” and her tribe. We then went on to Kearsney Abbey where the family soon gathered. The idea
was that we would have a nice walk then a picnic, but grandchildren demanded
playpark. So whilst everyone else walked the dogs
round, “Daddy’s Little Angel TM” and I took the kids
to the playpark. The wrong playpark we were reliably informed by a truculent
“Stormageddon – Bringer of Destruction TM” who
didn’t seem to know what he wanted to do, but didn’t
want to do anything that was on offer today. We all met up for picnic, then went over the road to
the other part of the park and the other playpark where “Stormageddon –
Bringer of Destruction TM” went utterly ballistic
because other people were daring to use the other playpark. Sometimes he can be hard work. I wish I knew
how to calm him down. Leaving “er indoors TM” to
take “Daddy’s Little Angel TM”, “Stormageddon
– Bringer of Destruction TM” and “Darcie Waa Waa TM” shopping,
and Cheryl and Dan-Dan to go to the Bargain Warehouse I ran “My Boy TM”
home. He was amazed at how quiet the dogs were in the car. He’d driven down
with “er indoors TM” and the dogs had been
rather over-excited. They were worn out on the way home. I made myself a cuppa and
uploaded a
few photos of our day. I slobbed in front of
the telly with the dogs watching the first “Harry Potter” film
until “er indoors TM” came home… then I fell
asleep. I woke two hours later. “er
indoors TM” boiled up a very good steak dinner which
we scoffed whilst watching the semi-final of “Lego Masters; New Zealand”. New-next-door has sent a message. The leak has stopped but something or other
needs to be replaced. I just wish I could do something to help. I wonder if
maybe basic plumbing is something we might all be taught at school? I’ve
taught myself basic woodworking, but if I cut a length of wood wrong I’m not going to flood anything. |
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7 April 2024 (Sunday)
- Late Shift
I
woke for a tiddle at five o’clock and felt like death warmed up. I went back
to bed, slept till nine o’clock and woke feeling rather better. I wonder what
that was all about? I made toast and had my usual root round Facebook.
My cousin is looking to move house. Moving is something I think about from
time to time, but it would mean a major upheaval, loads of expense, and loads
of work once the move was done… I think we will stay put for a while. I reported two or three posts on Facebook this
morning. I am sick and tired of seeing things “suggested for you”
about dogs dying. I’m still having meltdowns over my little Fudge, and he’s
been gone nearly three years. I set off to work. There were some new geocaches
that had gone live this morning. The chance to chase a First to Find would
have been good. But one was thirty miles south-west, and two were thirty
miles east. And I was heading thirty miles west. I had a quick Munzee session before leaving Ashford.
As I drove to Pembury I listened to the start of “Desert Island Discs”,
but it was on Radio Four Extra. Reception of that channel is patchy at best,
and the chap being interviewed was dull. So I sang
along to my dire choice of music instead. I got to work and popped to the hospital’s branch of
WH Smiths to get a bar of choccie for the way home.
A small bar of choccie costs £1.29. Can you believe it? And that was it for today. I did the late shift and
came home again. I get so many days of these days I shouldn’t grumble about
when I do work, but I can’t say I’m keen on it. |
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8 April 2024 (Monday)
- A Day At Work
Being
awake far too early I watched the last episode of “The Gentlemen” on
Netflix. Unlike many of the series made today, this one was unusual in that
everyone kept their kit on, and no jubblies at all
were flopped out. I had a quick Munzee session from the comfort of the
sofa then tried to get dressed. Getting dressed in the morning is something
of a mission. I have to do it in the darkness for fear of waking anyone, and having got everything organized this morning I
sat on a sleeping Bailey. I don’t think she realized. I then tried to get another Greenie outside the
house (as one does) but failed. On the plus side I capped nineteen
Points of Interest on the way to work and our Clan has got to Level One.
There’s never a dull moment when playing Munzee. Who would have thought that
sticking bar codes to lamp posts could be so entertaining? I went to work via the petrol station where the same
bar of choccie that I bought yesterday in the works
branch of WH Smiths was fifty-five pence cheaper. It pays to shop around. As I drove up the motorway I listened to the radio
as I do. Politicians were calling for a shake-up to sort out the NHS. Perhaps
I have a vested interest here, but if forty-two and a half years of working
for the NHS has taught me anything, it has taught me that a shake-up is the
last thing the NHS needs. In my years in harness
I’ve lost count of how many shake-ups the NHS has had. Just as the benefits
of the most recent one take effect so everything is thrown back up in the air
again as we have yet another shake-up. All are instigated on the whim of
whatever is the favoured current political theory,
and no one ever does any research to see whether or not
any of them actually did any good. What the NHS needs is to be left alone to
get on with its job. And there was a lot of talk about a nuclear power
station which
was attacked in Ukraine. Both the Russians and the Ukrainians were
blaming each other. The Ukrainian minster of something-or-other was being
interviewed on the radio; like all Ukrainians being interviewed on the radio
he seemed totally ungrateful for the military help the Western world has
given Ukraine, and did pretty much nothing but
demand (not ask for, bur demand) more. I got to work where I saw a mitotic figure. In
forty-two and a half years of looking down microscopes this is only the
fourth I’ve seen outside of a textbook or quality control tests. I saw a
harlequin cell as well – they too are slightly less common that rocking horse
poo. Talking of poo I came home
to a letter. A few days ago I sent a turd through
the post to the bowel cancer screening people. I’ve been told that no further
testing is needed at this time, but they’d like me to post them another turd in two years’ time. If that’s what they want, they shall have it. “er
indoors TM” boiled up a
very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching the final of “Lego
Masters: New Zealand”. Both were rather good. As we watched we had a message from “Daddy’s
Little Angel TM”. I am reliably informed that Pogo is a twatbag; he’s eaten an entire tub of margarine (again).
Poor Pogo. |
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9 April 2024
(Tuesday) - Busy, Busy
Having
been asleep in the sofa for most of yesterday evening I had an early night last
night and slept through till seven o’clock this morning. I made toast and tuned in to Facebook. Apparently
fourteen years ago I made
a video. I used to make loads of silly videos back in the day. I should
make more. And I saw some friends were having birthdays. I sent out birthday
wishes to all; including an old schoolfriend. I’ve
not seen him in person in over thirty years. Really should catch up before it
is too late, I loaded the dogs into the car
and we drove over to Henwood to collect “er indoors TM” who
had taken her car to be serviced. We fetched her home where there was loads of parking… but we weren’t stopping. Leaving her
to get on with work we drove up to Kings Wood. As we drove the defence minister was on the radio talking about the
recruitment crisis faced by the armed forces. It turns out that when making
career choices, youngsters
aren’t keen on a job which involves regularly being shot at. Funny,
that. And Mattel (the games manufacturer) has
launched a new version of
Scrabble which is easier and less competitive; designed to be more collaborative
and accessible for those who find word games intimidating. Am I really out of touch
with reality when I say “F.F.S.!” We got to the woods. Some half-wit
had driven a 4x4 over the raised mound and churned up the grassed area by the
car park. If I knew who it was I would put a brick
through their window and a turd through their letter box. I really would.
There was no need to ruin that area, But that aside we had a good walk. We got several
locations for my next geo-project, and the further into the woods we walked
so the more bluebells were out. After five miles (or so) we were back at the
car. Bearing in mind there was loads of parking spaces when we’d
dropped “er indoors TM” off earlier, we came
home to find no parking spaces.at all. We parked two streets away, and I
popped to the corner shop for pastries with our coffee. With coffee and croissant guzzled, I mowed the lawn
and sawed up off-cuts to make some wooden supports for the pond filter’s hose
reel. I’ve got an epic reel for the pond filter’s hose, but for it to work
properly I need to get it up off the ground onto some sort of spindle. Just
as I sawed through my finger rather than the wood so “er
indoors TM” announced her car was ready to collect.
I stemmed the flow of blood and I took her over to
get it. We came home and having sawed the wood I needed, and
having stopped bleeding, I screwed the spindle supports together. And then it
started raining so I came in. The dogs looked peckish so they had a late brekkie. Morgan and
Bailey yummed theirs up. Treacle waited till they’d
finished so they could watch her eating hers. Seeing the rain had stopped I went int the garden
again, and before I could do much so the rain
started again. I came in and had a sot of lunch. A SlimFast bar that expired last June. It wasn’t what it
might have been, but to be honest those things aren’t much even when they
aren’t nine months expired. Seeing blue skies I went
back outside; I wanted to test unwinding and winding my pond filter’s hose
reel on its new spindle. I got it all set up and the heavens opened so I
retreated indoors again. I made a start on the on-line parts of my latest
geo-project, then seeing the rain had stopped again went outside and tested
the hose reel on its new spindle. It worked fine. I
was in the throes of fiddling with the pond’s aerator when “Daddy’s Little
Angel TM” phoned. She’d found a new bed for “Darcie
Waa Waa TM”; could I collect it
for her? No I couldn’t as it wouldn’t fit in the
car. Would I carry it a couple of hundred yards up the road for her? I
drove down to Folkestone, carried the bed a couple of hundred yards up the
road and came home. “er
indoors TM” is currently
having a Teams meeting with her mates. I’m having a rest. On a non-work day I usually do about twelve thousand steps. Today
I’ve done eighteen thousand. I’m knackered… |
|
10 April 2024
(Wednesday) - A Birthday
I woke with a serious neck ache this morning.
I wonder what that was all about? I made toast and
had a look at the Internet as I do. Again Facebook wanted to
tell me about the Region de Murcia; according to Wikipedia it is a bit of
south-east Spain. According to me it is somewhere that until a few days ago
I’d never heard of, and since I’m seeing so many adverts about the place
filling my Facebook feed I won’t go there on
principle. And again people thousands of miles away from
the Middle East were “debating” (bickering like small children)
about the Middle East situation. No matter what one side had done wrong,
someone would try to justify it as revenge for some other historical misdemeanour. And there’s the Gaza situation in a
nutshell. There was an interview on national radio with leaders of both sides
several years ago when there was fighting over some different matter. Both
sides kept harping back to issues that had happened years before either was
born. Neither were prepared to make any concessions whatsoever, and both
admitted that fighting would never stop because neither side was prepared to
give an inch. Both did say that anyone who didn’t want to live in a war zone
should emigrate because the place would always be one. Nothing has changed. The leadership seem to want to fight, and it is
the poor people in the street who suffer. I took the dogs to the woods. We had a good walk. The woods were
surprisingly not that muddy. We chased squirrels and took a different route
to usual exploring a new footpath. There’s not many that we haven’t walked in
those woods now. We met a few other dogs; all meetings passed off fine; the
dogs said hello and came back when called. Morgan especially is so much more
relaxed when not on the lead. After three and a half miles we got back to the car and came home. I went into the garden, got the paint out and painted round the wooden
borders. It’s
three years since I put them in; they needed doing. As I pulled a
rather vicious splinter from my hand and rolled my eyes as the dogs were
sticking to the wet paint so I noticed something. I
saw that the pond’s water level had dropped by about six inches and the
sleeper at the top of the pond was damp – the bog filter was overflowing its
sides. It’s less than two weeks since that last happened. I ran out the hose pipe and had a little think. Realising that if the bog
filter had higher sides it wouldn’t overflow quite so easily
I went to Wickes to get some sleepers. They had two sorts in the size that I
needed; the darker coloured ones were four quid per
sleeper more expensive. Bearing in mind how many I wanted I decided I could
slap a lick of paint on them myself and save loads. I treated myself to a new
saw as well. Sleepers take some cutting… I then popped to Bybrook Barn for pond
liner, When I got home it was raining, which was probably just as well. Otherwise I would have cracked on and knackered myself.
Once the weather chirps up the plan is to:
I’m not sure about how the water will come out of the bog filter into
the pond. I’ll need to make some sort of waterfall arrangement. I’ll give it
a think. At the moment that’s the only real sticking
point. If any of my loyal readers have anything which might do the trick… Once “er indoors TM” had finished
work we all drove down to Folkestone to see “Darcie Waa Waa TM” as today was her
birthday. We took cake, and had a rather good couple
of hours with the birthday girl. She was too young to realise
what was going on, but we had a good time. We were rather late home, so to save time we had KFC for dinner. We
scoffed it whilst watching the first episode of the new series of “Hunted”.
As always the amount of CCTV surveillance in the UK
is an eye-opener. A second day not at work; a second full-on day. I’m worn out. |
|
11 April 2024 (Thursday)
- Another Busy Day
I
had something of a lie-in this morning. Over toast I had my usual root around
the Internet as I do. An old friend’s younger brother was posting photos from
his time at our old school. Apart from formal photos, I don’t think I’ve got
any photos from my time at secondary school. One of the major changes in my life has been the
availability of photographs. Back in the day cameras had film. A camera could
take only so many photos and then you had to take the thing to a shop, leave
it with them and collect the photos a few days later. Consequently
photography was something of an arse-ache. These
days you point your phone, upload to whichever social media you fancy, and
within seconds everyone could see what you’d been up to. I spent a few minutes looking at pictures of
pre-formed waterfall segments. That might be exactly what I need for my Bog
Filter Mk II, but they ain’t cheap. I shall go to a
couple of pond shops to see the things in reality before
I hand over hard cash. Leaving in the washing machine doing its thing I got
the dogs into the car and we set off for our walk.
As I drove “In
Our Time” was on the radio, Sometimes that
show is fascinating and interesting and captivating. Today it was tedious in
the extreme; utterly dull drivel about whether or not
women went to the theatre in ancient Greece. I switched over to my music and sang along to Ivor Biggun songs instead. We got to the woods and had a good walk. The car
park was quite full; there were loads of people with small children playing
about in the hundred yards surrounding the car park, but once we were away
from there we walked for four miles without seeing
anyone else at all. As we walked I tested out one of
the apps on my watch; one mile is near enough two thousand two hundred of my
steps. Three miles was six thousand six hundred and one steps. We came home. As the dogs had their brekkie I hung out the washing, then made myself a cuppa. “Daddy’s Little Angel TM”
phoned. Pogo had been to the vets where he had crapped
on their floor twice and pissed up their counter. Much as I love him, he
really can be a twatbag sometimes. I painted up the sleepers that I bought yesterday.
Treacle wouldn’t stop rubbing up against what I’d just painted. I then ironed. As I ironed I watched a couple of
episodes of “Cleaning
Up”; a rather good Netflix drama, then went out to feed the fish.
That bog filter was overflowing again… And then my phone beeped. A couple of days ago
I’d created an EarthCache based
on the sink holes in Kings Wood. The geo-feds had accepted what I’d done. “er
indoors TM” came home and
boiled up sausages and chips. As we scoffed them so
my phone beeped again. A First to Find on my new Earthcache less than two
hours after it went live. Bering in mind that there were two places to visit
in the woods, and both were over a mile into the woods (as the crow flies)
that was rather impressive. I’m going to work tomorrow… for a rest. |
|
12 April 2024
(Friday) - Early Shift
I woke in a bit of a panic following a rather
vivid dream in which my old PE Teacher was demanding to know why hospitals
send certain blood tests to specialist laboratories rather than testing them
themselves. What was that all about? Being on an early shift and not being awake quite as early as usual I
skipped watching telly and peered into the Internet as I scoffed toast. There
was a lot of consternation on one of the Dad's Army Facebook pages I follow.
Yesterday someone had posted a photo of some of the cast sitting in a pub all
with a pint of beer each. Someone else had reported the photos as going
against Facebook's community standards and had the photo removed. I resisted
the temptation to get involved; on-line arguments rarely achieve much. But again we see the farcical nature of Facebook's community
standards. Having reported stuff myself I now have first had experience that
a link to a close-up of a lady's lady bits doesn't breach their standards
whilst a photo of three old men having a drink does. And on the Facebook page I follow about UK footpaths and rights of way
there was a lot of indignation being expressed about how someone got a
Facebook suspension for mentioning a path which follows Offa's Dyke. And there was a beach hut for sale on
a beach near Hastings. Thirty eight thousand pounds
for the shed and eight hundred quid a year for ongoing unspecified
expenses.... that's more than my first house cost. We once borrowed a beach
hut for an afternoon. By the end of the afternoon
we'd had more than enough of it. I set off to work. Whilst I'd been eating my toast
so the seagulls had been squawking; as I walked down the road they'd shut
their rattle and the sparrows were all hollering. I'd never
before noticed that the birds don't all sing the dawn chorus together. I made my way to work via nineteen Points of Interest and four QrewZees; there's never a dull moment in Munzee. As I drove I listened to the radio. The pundits were
interviewing some windbag about why economic forecasts are invariably wrong.
It turns out that when making an economic forecast, those making the
predictions look at the current situation, consider what the rules governing
economics say, and then pontificate. However it
would seem that economics is blissfully unaware of these rules. It has been suggested
that the so-called experts revisit cause and effect in economic theory as it
seems that the causes aren't giving the effects they are supposed to.
Perhaps someone might like to do the same for weather forecasting? And there was a lot of talk about food security... farmers are
worried that they can't grow crops if their fields are flooded, and
matters aren't being helped by insurance companies refusing to pay
compensation as the flooded farms are "too
far" from the rivers doing the flooding. Seriously? I would have thought that you couldn't get much closer than
being directly under or in the river. I got to work. Without going into details, I’ll just make the observation that looking back at my many years of
being in charge, I am far happier letting someone else sort the problems. In between this and that I was asked if I'd like to be in the
sweepstake for tomorrow's Grand National race. My horse is Latenightpass which has odds of 28/1. I might win. I also spoke to the pension people who assure me my paperwork has
progressed to the stage where it is being processed. I suppose that's a step
in the right direction. It's further along than when I last enquired. I did my bit; I came home. Via the pond shop. Wanting a waterfall for
my next pond project I'd already phoned Aylesford Aquatics as that place is
only a five-minute drive from work. They said that they don't keep waterfalls
in stock, but if I told them what they wanted they could get it in for me. I
resisted the temptation to tell them that I too could get stuff directly from
Amazon, cut out the middle man and get it cheaper. So I drove to Dobbies garden
centre instead. They had one left. An ex-demo one they offered to me at half
price. I offered a fiver less, brought the thing home and spent some time
puzzling jut how I might get the waterfall bit to
work. Rather annoyingly “er indoors TM” then
hit on the frankly genius idea of lifting up the
back of the existing splash pool. The problem I’ve got is that the sides of
the splash pool are too low. Hopefully lifting up
the back will solve that issue. I will have a major job to lift it up, but it
will still be easier than building a whole new splash pool. This entirely does away with the need for the new sleepers and the
waterfall. But “nil desperandum” (as a dead Roman might say);
I’ve an idea what I might make with those. “er indoors TM” then went off to visit Sarah. I stayed with the dogs. As time goes by I’m getting less and less keen on leaving them alone.
We sat together and watched the last episodes of “Cleaning Up” which
was rather good. Today has been rather relaxing compared to the last few days. |
|
13 April 2024
(Saturday) - Dog Club, Gardening, Sleepover
This morning there were a few rants on Facebook as
there usually is. Someone was ranting about how the Chinese are flooding the
market with
cheap caviar and so what was once a posh delicacy only for the elite
is being scoffed by the masses who probably don’t appreciate it. The
implication being that if the great unwashed are scoffing caviar, then the
pretentious need to find something else to pretend they like which is beyond
the price range of the proles. I’m reminded of a rather nasty woman with whom
I used to work who went to the opera regularly because she could afford to do
so; not because she liked it. There was also another rant about why should children shouldn’t have to conform at school but
find their own way instead. The wife of a very good friend of mine did
exactly that with her children. She took them out of mainstream school and “educated”
them at home. One did nothing but play tennis and watch You-Tube videos all
day long, and the other got to mid-teens and still couldn’t read. Perhaps I shouldn’t look at Facebook in the
mornings; it just boils my piss. “er
indoors TM” was off to
craft club this morning so I took the dogs to Dog Club where we had a rather good
turn out this morning. The dogs had a whale of a time. There was a minor
episode when a new dog was rather overwhelmed and frightened, but it seemed
to sort itself out. I didn’t get involved; there were already enough people
in the throng. As we drove home I listened
to Steve doing the Mystery Year competition. The Brittas Empire and the first
Brit in space… 1992? No - I was one year out. We went via “My Boy TM”’s
house. He’s decking his garden and said he had a few small rocks I might
have. I got the rocks, came home and used
them. The splash pool which holds the pond’s bog filter is periodically
overflowing. Yesterday “er indoors TM” hit
on the idea that it is too flat, so I had a minor disassembly, then without
taking all the plants and water out I managed to lift its back and pop the
small rocks in behind to raise the back up a bit. I then put it all back
together and it seems to be OK. But I thought that a week or so ago when I
supposedly fixed the leak (but hadn’t). Time will tell – it always
does. I then had a minor pootle
about moving stone planters and generally tidying up before having a look in
the shed. Assuming that today’s fix to the bog
filter has worked (here’s hoping) I’m left with five sleepers I don’t
need. Bearing in mind I’ve already painted them I can’t get a refund. And
having negotiated a rock-bottom price for the waterfall I now probably don’t
need, asking for a refund would be a bit cheeky. So having wasted the thick
end of a hundred quid I had an idea about building a small water garden. All
I needed was a pump. I found two pond pumps and a pond air pump in the shed. And then I had stroke of inspiration. I could turn
one of my current water features into a flower bed, move another over a bit,
and use an existing pump for my water garden. All I would need would be
another sleeper. So I popped over to Wickes to get a
sixth sleeper. As I came home I saw the
people in a house down the road were giving away a couple of unwanted flower
pots. I had those. By then seven hours had passed, and “er
indoors TM” arrived with “Darcie Waa Waa TM” who had come for a
little sleepover. Dog snogging, singing songs, not eating our dinner,
wreaking mayhem… the usual. As I type this she’s
wandering around scoffing a banana whilst telling the dogs off for no reason
that anyone can fathom. But the dogs don’t care - they absolutely adore her
and follow her every move. I’m going to work (hopefully) for a rest
tomorrow. |
|
14 April 2024
(Sunday) - Early Shift... or A Rest
“Darcie
Waa Waa TM” got her name
from the constant crying she once did one night. Whenever she stays over she goes one of two ways – either sleeps like a log
or screams all night long. I *think* I heard some whinging around
midnight, but other than that either she was quiet
or I slept through it. As
I peered into the Internet this morning I saw my
grandson hadn’t slept that well – he’d been WhatsApp-ing
silly You-Tube videos to me with the messages time-stamped at half past two. I
wonder if his mother knows? I’m
not telling her. I also saw someone with whom I used to work many
years ago was taking part in the Shit Box Rally; a
charity event in which you drive an old wreck of a car thousands of miles.
Adelaide to Perth via Uluru is a trip of three and a half thousand kilometers
– that’s over three times the length of the UK. Her team – the Foxy Morons –
are travelling in a knackered car called “Sharon” and are currently on
the second day of an eight day trip. You can sponsor her by clicking here. With “er indoors TM” and
the dogs all upstairs in the attic room with littlun, I got dressed with the light on which was something of a novelty. I set
off to find my car; looking in people's gardens for bricks as I went. My
plans for a water garden will need a few bricks to bodge
the waterfall into place. I found quite a few bricks in one garden but wasn't
quite brave enough to nick them. As I drove to work there was what could have been an
interesting program on the radio about assisted dying. Whether or not someone
should be allowed to end their own life is something of a moral minefield. It
was a shame that the panel discussing the matter consisted of an Imam, a
Rabbi, a priest and some other religious crackpot.
Everything they said or discussed or considered was entirely dependent on
their religious ideas; few of which seemed to have any basis is common sense.
Why does ethics and morality go hand in hand with crackpot religious
nonsense? The question was then asked that if it is up to god
when someone dies (which was about the only thing the panel could agree on),
then why do we have hospitals? The panel struggled to answer this; but
eventually formed a consensus that apparently gods don't mind people being
kept alive, it's the dying they are more concerned about. This was followed by the farming program which
featured an article about some management consultancy firm which was buying
out leases of smaller farms and sacking the tenant farmers who didn't
subscribe to their ways of talking in management catchphrases. Those being
given the elbow were of the opinion that there is
more to running a farm than spouting nonsensical management-speak that means
nothing to anyone. It turns out they were right. There's an
old adage: "fine words butter no parsnips". It would seem that fine words don't grow any either. I drove up a motorway which was surprisingly busy at
quarter to seven on a Sunday morning. As I drove I
watched the antics of a school minibus which looked like it was being driven
by a committee of schoolkids judging by the way it was going far too slowly
up the middle lane with occasional swerves here and there. I got past it at
the earliest opportunity; the thing was full of schoolkids. I can't help but
wonder what they were up to so early on a Sunday. I got to work. I can't pretend I wanted to work
today, but if I hadn't been working at work I would have been working in the
garden, and there's a lot less heavy lifting in a hospital blood bank. I came home via the house in whose garden there were
bricks. I knocked on the door to ask if I might have them, but there was no
answer. “My
Boy TM” suggested I might get old bricks from Facebook
Marketplace. Old second-hand used bricks are of sale on Facebook Marketplace
at fifteen pence per brick more than I can get new ones in B&Q. “er
indoors TM” boiled up a
steak dinner which we washed down with a bottle of merlot. Perhaps that’s why
I’m so tired? Today was certainly a lot less arduous than a non-working day…
but it did start three hours earlier. |
|
15 April 2024
(Monday) - Stuff
I
had a rather restless night alternating between night sweats and shivering, and woke about five o’clock with a rather grim
hangover. I got up, went to the loo
and found one of the dogs had beat me to it; there were two piles of poop by
the back door. I suppose whoever it was had tried to get outside. I made toast, and watched the first episode of
the Sky
TV documentary about UFOs. Fortunately fast-forwarding through the
adverts cut an hour-long program down to forty minutes. The first episode
could be summed up in a few seconds… Most UFOs aren’t U at all. Most can be
explained. However quite a few can’t be explained, and there is an
international conspiracy to ensure that anyone
who takes these seriously gets laughed at. I then tuned in to the Internet to see how the Foxy
Morons were doing. Overnight there had been no updates. Was this because
there is no Internet signal in the outback, or because their shitbox “Sharon” had conked out? As I drove to work the pundits on the radio were
talking about some report
into child poverty in the UK which has just been published. Some woman
was being interviewed on the subject. I wish I could remember who she was;
she made the earth-shattering observation that if children's parents have a
job them children are less likely to be in poverty. Would you believe it?
These people get paid for working out stuff like this, you know. And there was an interview with some confrontational
Israeli who started off by saying what a peaceful bunch his people are, but went on to boast about how aggressive they can be
(as though that was a good thing). He ranted on about the recent
attack on Israel in which the
RAF shot down a number of drones for them. Like the Ukrainian chap
being interviewed last week, this chap felt it was his personal right to have
the rest of the world financing their war. Pausing only briefly to cap two QrewZees
I made my way to work. There was cake, which is always a good thing. I have
no idea where the cake came from; a load of rather good obviously home-made
buns appears in the rest room, and I just scoffed one. It would be rather easy to assassinate me - just
leave poisoned food laying about and I will quite
happily scoff it. With work done I came home and again had to park two
streets away. I took the opportunity to knock on the door of the house with
all the bricks in the garden. Again no one answered the door. “er
indoors TM” boiled up a
decent bit of dinner and went bowling. I watched the second episode of the
UFO documentary; this featured some chap from the US Navy who saw a UFO and
went mental. I don’t think I shall bother with the final two
episodes. |
|
16 April 2024
(Tuesday) - Pansies, Lobelias, Violas and a Peony
Treacle
and Bailey woke me with a woofing fit shortly after eight o’clock. I was glad
that they did; I was embroiled in a nightmare in which I’d been seconded to
the International Mars Mission as an astronaut. My map-reading and geocachical skills would be invaluable in getting the
spaceships to Mars (as if you can’t see the planet from Earth anyway).
But my main responsibility on the crew would be to look after the dogs.
Having dogs in space suits meant that their taking a dump would be tricky for
them, and with the eyes of the world on the mission, I wouldn’t be able to
hoof any turds into the undergrowth (not that
there’s much undergrowth on Mars). The Prime Minister himself was telling
me what an honour it all was, and that he had every confidence that I would
work out the piddling details. What was that all about? I scoffed toast, rolled my eyes at the Internet, and
checked in on what was happening in the shitbox rally on
the other side of the world. “Sharon” had sprung a leak and run out of
petrol, but all is well now. I got the dogs onto their leads
and we went off to find where I’d left the car, and we set off to Kings Wood
for a walk. We took a rather different route today heading through the woods
toward the village (rather than away from it), and waked for four and
a half miles. Once we were away from the car park we
only saw one other group. The bluebells were out; it was really
pretty. It was a shame that both Morgan and Bailey rolled in fox poo,
but there it is. As we walked I had a text
message from NHS Pensions Retirement Award saying “We have received your
NHS Pensions Retirement benefits claim form. We can confirm we have
successfully processed your application. A written notification will be
issued to you”. That’s a relief… I wonder what it means. I’ve had this
sort of message a couple of times already but in both of those cases “successfully
processed” actually meant “passed on to the
next office”. There was a minor episode with Treacle when we got
back to the car; she was quite seriously slobbering. Was she thirsty? Had she
eaten something foul? She’d been acting odd last night – over-excited and
restless. I shall keep an eye on her…Dogs, eh? Who’d have ‘em. We came home. Treacle had the brekkie at which she’d
turned her nose up at earlier (which was a result) and Morgan and
Bailey had a bath. If you roll in poo, you have a bath, Rules is rules. We then had a cuppa and a
Belgian bun. An Asda one. It tasted OK, but most of the icing had stuck to
the packaging. I popped to B&Q. On the way I knocked in the
door of the house with the bricks in the garden, but again they didn’t want
to answer the door. So I bit the bullet and paid
hard cash for new bricks. Sixty-six pence per brick. And I got some plants as
well. Pansies, lobelia, violas and a peony. I brought them home, moved a huge concrete core out
of the yard, and then seeing that “er indoors TM” was
on lunch break we put the new garden table together. Once we figured out what
went where it was rather straightforward, but
figuring that out took some doing. Anyone who could write decent instructions
could make a fortune. I then moved the plant pots I’d acquired on Saturday
into place, transplanted plants about, put compost into the old planter,
planted more plants, heaved the concrete core the length of the garden to add
it to the rockery, and realizing the afternoon was nearly all done and I’d
only done half I had planned, I said “sod it” and came indoors. I then boiled up dinner myself. It came out rather
well if I do say so myself. We washed it down wit a
bottle of Lidl white wine. Billed as “zesty and vibrant” it wasn’t
bad, really. As we scoffed we watched a couple of
episodes of “Hunted”; a rather good show which I am sure I could do
better than most of the contestants. I really hurt. Having done a few sums
the concrete core I shifted today weighs about sixty kilograms. My original
plan was to have the first fruit of my loin shift it for me, but he went
fishing. He ain’t daft. |
|
17 April 2024
(Wednesday) - Late Shift
I
heard a dog jump off the bed at four o’clock this morning, but by the time
I’d leapt up it was too late. There was a small pie of turds
by the back door. I let the smallest two out into the garden (Treacle was
still fast asleep) before we all went back to bed. I dozed though till when “er indoors TM” ‘s
alarm woke me at half past seven. It woke me – it didn’t wake her though. I made toast and had my usual root around the
Internet. It’s been a while since I last had any dubious friend requests, but
I had
one this morning. “Letex” hails from the
Philippines and would like to chum up with me, but so far hasn’t put much on his/her/its
Facebook profile, which is probably for the best. “Letex” has
twenty-one friends on Facebook – that is more friends than sense, really. I
wasn’t going to make it twenty-two. I read that the geocaches along the river Medway
that need a canoe to get at are being archived soon. I wonder if they will be
replaced. We had fun with our inflatable canoe when we did those. I saw there was a new geocache just down the road…
with its first find logged twenty minutes after it went live. Not having been woken by her alarm I prodded “er
indoors TM” awake, then set off to Folkestone. As I
drove the pundits on the radio were interviewing Caroline Lucas (the Green
MP) who has written
a book about how you can go about being proud of being British
without shaving your head, stomping round shouting “Ing-Ur-Lund” and
harping back to the glorious days of Empire. It needed doing. This was followed by talk of an
updated version of Shakespeare’s plays. They’ve been updated with
emphasis on being performed. It would seem that generations
of schoolkids forced to read plays written in medieval English (and never
acted out) have formed the idea that Shakespeare’s plays are a load of
old tripe. Which is certainly the opinion I formed after sitting reading
frankly incomprehensible drivel. I got to Folkestone, picked up “Daddy’s Little
Angel TM” and “Darcie Waa Waa TM” and
took Pogo to the vets. He’s having a biopsy on a rather ugly lump on his leg.
As we left him he was screaming the place down. Poor
Pogey. We had McBrekkie; toffee
caramel latte and super-McMuffin with bacon, egg and
sausage. Very nice. I dropped the girls back home, then dropped the littlun’s
car seat back with “er indoors TM”. I set off up the motorway to work. Needing petrol I
went to the Aylesford Sainsbury's petrol station. I've used that place for years but it has been closed for the last couple of months
for a refurbishment. Seeing it was open I went hoping for great things... it
looked just the same as it used to. Work was work. During the afternoon I got the
message that Pogo was home from the vets. He was a little groggy from the anaesthetic, so “Daddy’s Little Angel TM” put
him in a crate where the littluns couldn't bother him too much. I wonder if I
might borrow that crate? And shortly after that I had another message. Another
woman(?) of dubious morals wanted to be my Facebook friend, and in order to sway my decision she'd sent photos of her
"toys"; she had quite an extensive collection of rubber
accessories. Why do these people do this? To persuade sad suckers
to send money on the promise of a mucky photo that you can get for free by
turning off the Google safe search? The late shift was a tad like hard work. They can be
sometimes. I’ve now got a few days off… |
|
18 April 2024
(Thursday) - Bonus Late Shift
I had quite the guts ache last night. As I
went to the loo (for safety!) at four o’clock I tripped over Morgan
who was downstairs. He’d not got up with everyone else when “er
indoors TM” went to bed; he’s probably realized just
how crowded the bed is getting. I go up earlier and earlier just to get some
space and some kip before the crush starts. I peered into the Internet over toast. It was still there, and
squabbles abounded on the Munzee Facebook pages. There’s a new feature on the
Munzee app; you get to chase a virtual unicorn if you want to. You don’t have
to, but you wouldn’t believe how nasty people were getting over something so
trivial. I got the leads on to the dogs and we went up
to the woods. Admittedly we were rather later than we usually get there, but
the car park was over half full, and as we walked we
met loads of other people. Several people remarked that they had never been
there before but had heard about the bluebells. After about four miles we got back to the car. The last time we went
to the woods Treacle had been rather slobbery at the end; today I’d taken
water and made sure they were offered some regularly, and Treacle was fine. We came home for a cuppa and cake, Yesterday I hadn’t been rota-ed
to do the late shift; a colleague had asked if anyone could do it for her as
she had things to do. I offered, as I often want people to swap with me, and
she was so grateful she gave me cake. Result. Completely forgetting to put any washing in to scrub I went into the
garden and mowed the lawn. Then stopped, harvested a bumper crop of dog
turds the carried on mowing. It has
to be said that shoving the new garden table out of the way to mow
round it is much easier than shoving the old one used to be. I then made a start on water features. Having spent a small fortune on
sleepers and waterfalls that were made redundant by sticking a brick under
the bog filter, I've got a plan for making a little water garden and rockery.
But that involves moving an existing water feature. Our "badger"
water feature never really looked that impressive; in fact (like the one I
need to move) it just grew mould and algae.
So... I disassembled the "badger" water feature and
relocated the stonework on the other side of the garden. Rather than filling
it with water and stones I filled it with compost and some of the left-over
plants I bought a couple of days ago. That gave me a space. I disassembled the water feature with the white
pebbles and the pot out of which water flows. I never liked the tile the
water flowed over, and the white pebbles had all gone green anyway. I
relocated the carcass of the water feature and realised
that I couldn't go any further without a trio to the garden centre. The
output from the water pump in the water feature is a completely different
size to the input to the waterfall it will go into. So
I took the bits I needed to Bybrook Barn and hoped
I might find a helpful lady in the pond section. I smiled hopefully at the
first person I saw, and apologetically said that I was the sort of customer
with a query that she just hated. She said (with a smile) that she
hated all customers, and we got on like a house on fire. I showed her the
incompatible bits I needed to connect, and she came up with a couple of
adaptors and bits of connector which did the trick. Whilst I was at it I spent twenty-five quid
on stones to go on the water feature. I got some green slate; the white
pebbles went green anyway. I came home and decided against any more heavy lifting. My phone was
beeping like a thing possessed. The person on the late shift had had a minor
calamity; could anyone cover? Pretty much everyone had something they needed
to do this evening. I had a shower and drove to work. Doing half a day's work kept me
moving; had I not gone in to work I would have collapsed in front of the
telly and not moved. As I did my thing so I had a message. Poor Pogo's leg was bleeding from where he'd had the biopsy
yesterday. I said he needed a bandage. After a lot of farting around and the
entire family going to the vet's I am reliably informed a plaster was
applied. I really ache. I think I overdid it today. The weather forecast for
tomorrow is rain. Maybe taking it easy might be a good idea. |
|
19 April 2024
(Friday) - Rain Stopped Play
After
yesterday’s eighteen thousand steps and a lot of heavy lifting in the garden
I rather ached this morning. I made brekkie and had my usual peer into Facebook.
There was mild consternation on some of the Rye-based Facebook pages as their
Town Crier (an old schoolfriend of mine) had been photographed with a
large bottle of water in his trouser pocket, and the photo was getting
entirely the wrong sort of publicity. Seeing the Microsoft and BBC weather forecasts were
at odds with each other I took pot luck and took the
dogs out anyway. Both forecasts predicted rain; but differed in how soon. As we drove to the woods Steve Punt and Hugh Dennis
were being interviewed on the radio. Their long-running “Now Show” is
finally coming
to an end, and they were saying how difficult it can be to make a funny
current affairs program. With pretty much nothing but the war in Gaza having
been in the news for months, and war not being particularly amusing they were
saying it is tricky to find anything the public has heard about to which they
can relate. I can remember going to see Steve Punt and Hugh
Dennis at the Lees Cliff Hall when they were part of “The Mary Whitehouse
Experience” and they were hilarious. But that was thirty years ago. About
twenty years ago they were at the Gulbenkian theatre in Canterbury when they
were just smug. Hugh Dennis is rather good as a straight actor… perhaps it is
time to give up the comedy? Sadly I’ve not found
them funny for years. There was also a lot of talk about how many children
are using social media. There were quite a few knee-jerk reactions on the
radio this morning. It strikes me that rather than banning what we cannot
ban, we should look at how to deal with the reality of it. We got to the woods. Admittedly an hour earlier than
yesterday, but the car park was much emptier, and once away from the car park
we walked for an hour and saw no one. We walked a rather shorter walk today;
I was conscious of the weather forecast. But we got back to the car with no
rain. Once home I made us both a cuppa,
and then went into the garden and made a start on rebuilding the water
feature I’d moved yesterday. But after a few minutes the rain started. I came
in and fiddled about on my lap-top. I updated my map
of sink holes in Kings Wood. I’ve now found sixteen of the things ranging in
size from a couple of metres across to twenty metres across. I had a look at my bank account. There was a lot
more money than I thought there should be. It would seem my pension has been
paid. That’s a result. And then I saw the rain had stopped. I went back
into the garden and got that water feature rebuilt. I’ve not got the shingle
round it just right yet; it needs a lick of paint and the wood got rather wet
as I was testing. I then started scraping brindle chippings about in
readiness for the next phase of gardening… as best I could. Treacle did
insist on getting in the way. And then the rain started again. I gave up and came inside and put a load into the washing
machine. I cracked on with the ironing whilst watching a couple of episodes
of “Tribes of
Europa”. Let’s just say that the viewing figures were bad enough for
it not to be confirmed for a second season, and with the ironing done I slept
through most of the second episode. I shan’t be bothering with the third. “er
indoors TM” boiled up a rather good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching “Bottom
Exposed”; a one-off documentary about the TV show “Bottom”. It
was rather good apart from two glaring omissions about which I won’t give any
spoilers. Yesterday I ended by whinging
about how I ached. Yesterday I ended up doing eighteen thousand steps. Today
I only did eleven and a half thousand… but I still ache. Oh – and the Foxy Morons have got to Uluru… or Ayers Rock as I
thought it was called. |
|
20 April 2024
(Saturday) - Worn Out
I
had a rather good night’s sleep. Not fighting for any bed space helped. I
woke… and could only account for two dogs. Morgan usually huddles up close to
me but was nowhere to be found. He wasn’t downstairs or in the garden.
Eventually it transpired he’d dossed down on the other side of “er
indoors TM”. I made toast and had my usual rummage on the
internet. I sent out birthday wishes to those having birthdays, and hard cash
to those with birthdays coming up. A colleague is doing a sponsored run for
her birthday, so I sponsored. And then I found myself pondering. “The Red Pig”
has closed down. The Red Pig is a little van which
sells rather good food at Pett Level. We’ve been in it on occasion. The menu
is excellent and the people friendly. Three days ago
they were advertising for staff. Yesterday they posted on Facebook saying
they had closed for good and today the business is up for sale. It’s none of
my business, but I’m a rather nosey person and can’t help but wonder what is
going on. We set off to Dog Club. There had been a message
that there was a fox den in the top corner of the paddock we use. I went and
had a look and couldn’t see anything. Mind you our group operates at the
other end of the paddock. We had a great time. There were about fifteen dogs
along today. Treacle had her ball, Morgan and Bailey scrounged treats, other dogs wallowed in mud. Dog Club is such a
simple idea, and the dogs love it so much. Having a birthday today Steve wasn’t on the radio.
His stand-in wasn’t the same. The “Mystery Year” was 1968… who
remembers anything from then? And the “Guess the Lyrics” competition
might as well have been from Beethoven for all that I knew. We took a circuitous route home via various Munzees getting Level Three on this month’s Munzee Clan
War. Not much more to do for Level Four. Once home we had a cuppa
then I cracked on in the garden. I sawed two of the sleepers in half, then
painted the sawed ends. And then remembered that when I’d painted the
sleepers the other day I’d intended to come back to
them and paint the ends that were on the ground. So
I painted those. And whilst I was ai it I painted the water feature I’d moved
yesterday. I then scraped all the gravel out of the way for the
new water feature/mini pond (that took some doing),
and built the box. As space is tight where it is going, I built it in
place. “My Boy TM” would have been so proud of me
– I used a spirit level. With the box in place I
enlisted the assistance of “er indoors TM” and we
took an old blanket to protect the bottom, and then got the liner roughly in
place. Even roughly took some fiddling about. To get the liner in place
better we three-quarters filled it with water… And stopped. Four hours was enough. It can settle and leak-test overnight I
had a little sit down whilst “er indoors TM” went
to fetch “Darcie Waa Waa TM”.
“Daddy’s Little Angel TM” is being bridesmaid at a
wedding and this afternoon was make-up practice. Is this a new thing? I never
had make-up practice when I got married. We had a fun few hours with
littlun. We started with the obligatory dog snogging, then played “Hide
and Seek”. Littlun would go into the bathroom, count to whatever
number she fancied in the strange numbering system she has made, then come
and either find me in the toilet, or her grandmother behind the kitchen door. She thought this was hilarious - this went on for
over an hour before she lost interest. We then played a game where she climbed up and down
the stairs and I supervised to make sure she didn’t fall. That only lasted
half an hour. I was worn out when it was time for her to go home. |
|
21 April 2024
(Sunday) - New Telly
At
some point in the heavy lifting of the last few days I poggered
my left wrist. It really hurts. I gave up trying to sleep and thought that if
I got up and did something then the pain might ease. I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet.
I had an email. My credit rating went up by eleven points this week. That’s
nice. I had another dodgy
friend request on Facebook from a young lady who would seem to be
all tits and no sense. I sent out birthday wishes to people with birthdays
today, and wrote up some
CPD until “er indoors TM” and the
dogs emerged. We got ourselves organized and drove out to Lyminge where we went for a little walk following a series
of geocaching Adventure Labs. A rather good walk of half an hour or so. It
was a shame we couldn’t find the cache at the village sign. We tried for that
one seven years ago and failed then as well. We came home for a cuppa,
then “er indoors TM” helped me with (did
all the work) lining the little pond / water feature. Leaving her tidying up I popped out to B&Q for
two more bricks, and then on to Bybrook Barn for
more rocks and some pond plants. And with those in place my little pond /
water feature is almost complete. There’s pictures
of it here. I’m quite pleased with how it came out. I’ve got to arrange
the gravel around it a bit better and I want to landscape a rockery in front
of it. And I need to take the water pump of off the circuit it is currently
on with all the other water features, and have it
running all the time. And in a week or so I shall look at introducing some
fish. And then the fun started. Our telly has been on the
blink for a few days and last night it packed up altogether. We first got it
on 24 May 2021 when I wrote “Bearing in mind we got the last telly on 16
January 2010, I’m wondering if this new telly will also do us for another
eleven years”. Well, it didn’t. It didn’t last three. We set up the new telly, and after an hour’s farting
about it was ready to go… and it couldn’t connect to the Sky-Q box. We used
the “contact Amazon” option and got through to a most unhelpful woman
whose only suggestion was that the problem had to be with the Sky-Q box as
there was no way that her company’s device could ever be at fault. I was all
for taking the thing to the tip, but I had a quick look on the Internet
instead. Several people had reported the same problem; and all had cured it
by doing a factory reset. Eventually we had the thing going but it wasn’t
easy. Back in the day when you got a new telly the company would send a man
to set it all up for you. “er
indoors TM” popped to the
kebab shop to get dinner which we scoffed whilst watching one of the
new extended “Bottom”
episodes. After the fun of the afternoon
it was good being able to watch anything at all. I’m off to work for the early shift tomorrow… an
early night might be a plan. My wrist is better than it was… but still hurts. |
|
22 April 2024
(Monday) - ... Treason and Plop
The
toaster had a little episode in that it wouldn't actually
toast anything this morning. I have a vague recollection of “er
indoors TM” having had a fight with it yesterday
claiming something inside had caught fire. I gave it a clout and it
eventually did that which was expected of it. I just hope that when the
machines rise up the toaster will have forgotten
this morning's altercation. After I'd gone to kip last night “er
indoors TM” had been at the new telly, and it all
works through the Sky-Q handset now, and starts up
in Sky-Q mode (as it should) rather than in some strange Amazon thingy
mode. I scoffed toast as I stared at the telly. It was
playing the first episode of "Fat Friends";
a show originally broadcast over twenty years ago. I won't be bothering with
the second episode; it boiled my piss. Being a fat
sod myself (and having been so for most of my life) there is nothing
more irritating that people banging on about how fat they are when in fact
they are quite substantially thinner than I am. I set off to work. As I drove the pundits on the
radio were interviewing the leader of the
Scottish Green Party. This chap had come on to the radio
having already decided what he was going to say, and he started
talking and talking about heaven only knows what. When asked any questions he
just kept talking. He spoke over the interviewer every time the chap tried to
say anything, and flatly refused to answer the questions put to him. He won't be getting my vote... I got to work and cracked on. As I peered down the
microscope I made a few phone calls. I phoned the pension people. Apparently
I won't get any formal notification about my pension payments; there is no
equivalent of a payslip which comes with the wages.
I asked how I find out what tax I've paid on my pension... it seems I don't. I phoned the bank's helpline to arrange an
appointment at the local branch tomorrow. It wasn't easy. I *think*
the woman I spoke to said to just turn up at the branch and that I didn't
need an appointment, and that I should also book an appointment on-line. I booked one on-line just in case. I left a message for the ENT people at the local
hospital to chivvy up the date of my nasal re-bore. They sent me a text to
say I should send them an email. And I booked a slot at the tip tomorrow. I've got a poggered telly to get rid of. As I worked I was
introduced to a new boss. Back in the day when I was management
I was a "chief biomedical scientist". These days we have an
"operational lead". How times change. To be honest I never
thought I was much good as a "chief biomedical scientist" (which
is why I gave it up); I know I would be hopeless as an "operational
lead". I came home, and “er indoors TM” boiled
up sausages and chips before going off bowling as she does. I sparked up the
new telly. Netflix told me that based on what I’d told it I liked, it thought
I might like to watch “Gunpowder”;
a drama series based on the Gunpowder Plot. The first episode was rather good… |
|
23 April
2024 (Tuesday) - This n That
I
slept well. I woke to the sound of “er indoors TM”’s
alarm, then went back to sleep. As did “er indoors TM”.
I woke an hour later, woke everyone else, and made toast. The toaster was
being difficult again; it cooked the toast but wouldn’t let it go. Once I’d extracted it
I scoffed it as I peered into the internet. I saw that there’s a minor issue
with the geocaching app I use. For some reason it is no longer available on
Google Play, and the chap who made it says it isn’t financially worth his
while to re-list it. He intends to launch it as a new product, and rather
than making a one-off payment he wants people to pay a monthly fee. The chap
is talking of a tenner a year or a quid a month. I will happily pay as I use the app not
just for geocaching but for finding my way all over the place… but when you
think about it you see the chap ain’t daft. Why
settle for a one-off payment of ten quid (which I paid years ago) when
you can get a regular stream of cash every month? And there was a load of jingoistic ranting
about St George’s Day on one of the local Facebook pages from those who
haven’t realized that the British Empire is long gone. I got the leads on to the dogs and we went for our walk. When I made the decision to
archive loads of my geocaches that were all over the
place and put out loads in Kings Wood, it was because having them all there
would make maintenance easier. I could do it on a dog walk. And that’s what I
did today. Over the weekend I’d had two reports of issues. One missing cache
and one broken cache. Neither were anywhere near a car park
and they were a mile apart. In a round trip of four miles we replaced both
and found a spot for another cache. The dogs chased squirrels… I say “chased
squirrels”; for every squirrel they chased there were a dozen shadows. We came home for a cuppa,
and then I managed to get all of the rubbish I
intended to get rid of into the car and set off to the tip. Unlike many
previous visits, today’s tip run passed off rather uneventfully, which was
something of a result. And then I went to B&Q… I needed an outdoor power socket. They
weren’t where they used to be. I asked an assistant where I might find them.
He grunted and waved in the general direction of the other end of the store.
I eventually found what I wanted, but couldn’t find
a plug to go with it. I asked another assistant who just said
“aisle eleven”. I explained I’d been up and down aisle eleven but
couldn’t find them. She repeated “aisle eleven” and turned her back.
As I was again looking in aisle eleven a third assistant came past. I asked
for help; she snapped she was too busy to help me. I told her not to worry; I
would go to Wickes. As I walked out three more assistants were sneering at
the customers struggling with the self-service tills. So far this year I’ve
spent over a hundred quid with them… can’t say I’m very inclined to spend
much more. I drove into town. Having a few minutes spare I went into Starbucks and treated myself to a fudge
Frappuccino. It was rather good. I then went on to the bank. Sadly the woman on the phone yesterday wasn’t much help,
but the chap I spoke with today was rather good. I came home via Wickes where the staff were
cheerful and helpful, and I got what I needed. The outdoor power socket I
bought has a wi-fi booster so maybe I will be able to use the house wi-fi in
the garden. That will be fun… Once home I took the dogs up the garden to
do the “Feed The Fish”; fish feeding has
become one of the highlights of their lives. I thought about cracking on in
the garden, but decided to have one day of not doing
hard physical labour. Instead
I wrote up the website for the new geocache I found a location for this
morning. I shall hide the thing tomorrow. “er indoors TM” boiled up a very good dinner which we scoffed
whilst watching the last episode of the current series of “Hunted”. It
strikes me that these contestants make hard work of it. If I was a
contestant, once I’d got away at the start (and that would be the
trickiest bit) I’d lie low for a few days shave my head and grow a
beard… and that’s the face recognition CCTV stuffed. |
|
24 April 2024 (Wednesday)
- Busy, Busy
I
slept well, and made toast in a toaster which did
that which was expected of it this morning. A minor result. I scoffed toast whilst peering into a frankly dull
internet. Squabbles abounded on the Facebook pages I follow. Garden ponds,
Radio Four programs, no matter what the subject someone will argue about it. I downloaded bank statements, got some cable ties
from the shed, and got ready for the morning. Seeing the geo-feds had given me the thumbs-up for
what I’d planned yesterday I thought I’d better get that new geocache into place so I took the dogs to the woods. As we drove the
pundits on the radio were talking about shoplifting in the UK. Apparently you can’t prosecute anyone for nicking anything
worth less than two hundred quid from a shop, and the scum element know this.
There was an interview with some chap who runs a co-op in Islington who said
that shoplifting costs him tens of thousands of pounds every year. He also
said that he calls the police every time he catches someone thieving and they
turn up maybe three times out of every ten times he calls them. This tells me that it is time that we as a society
admit that the police force isn’t fit for purpose, and
need to think about a better way to make the world a better place. We got to the woods and walked a round trip of four
miles. Once we were away from the car park we didn’t
see anyone other than the forestry workers. I think one of them told Morgan off; as we were walking up to where they were working
Morgan came running up to me (he’d been running free up till then) and
he stayed by my side whilst we walked past where the work was going on. Mind you, the forestry workers don’t help
themselves. They make a point of throwing food to the dogs when they are on a
break, and then wonder why the dogs want to go see them the next time we
pass. With the fake owl geocache tied to a tree we came
home, and I unplugged the water pump for our new small pond and extracted it, and wired in the new power socket I’d bought
yesterday. I then plumbed the new filter which arrived this morning and was
amazed that I’d spent over three hours on what would seem to be such a simple
task. I’m not sure I like the water feature head, and the white hose to the waterfall needs to be replaced… but I’ll
worry about that tomorrow. As I worked my phone had beeped with the news that
the geocache we put out this
morning had gone live, and as I got on with the ironing so I got a
message that the thing had been found. There’s always something of a sense of
relief when someone finds a new cache that I’ve hidden… it shows I’d done it
right. As I ironed I watched the
last two episodes of “Gunpowder”. When you think about it the Gunpowder Plot was
frankly ridiculous, but what is more worrying is that a lot of people still
take that sort of religious twaddle seriously. I then got busy in the kitchen and boiled up
dinner. “er indoors TM” came
home and we scoffed it whilst watching the first episode of the new series of
“Taskmaster”; five new contestants of which I’ve heard of one. I might have an early night… |
|
25 April 2024
(Thursday) - Little Pond Finished
I
found myself in a rather thoughtful mood as I scoffed toast this morning. Facebook
told me a friend was having a birthday today. I first met this chap in
September 1984 when I started working with him. We worked together through
thick and thin until August 2011 when I was sent to work elsewhere. Having
been in very close company for twenty-seven years, that was it. I ran into
him totally by chance once morning several years ago when I was doing a spot
of geocaching before a late shift, but apart from that, I’ve not seen him at
all in thirteen years. Another Facebook friend was also having a birthday.
Someone who I would see regularly on holidays ad high days back when I was
into kite flying. Again, someone I’ve not heard from in years. Makes you think, doesn’t it? There wasn’t a lot happening on Facebook this
morning. Seeing it was eight o’clock and she’d slept through her alarm again
I kicked “er indoors TM” out of bed. Once
the dogs had scoffed brekkie we went off for our walk. As we drove the pundits on the radio were
interviewing the Shadow Transport Minister who was talking about Labour’s plans to re-nationalise the railways. She made the point that at the moment when a train runs late it could be a problem
with the train, the track, the signalling, or an
issue somewhere else. All of which are run by different companies and there
are three hundred lawyers currently employed to sort out who is to blame.
That’s one saving that could be made right away. As we drove through the town centre there were
countless children on bikes on their way to school; all with those silly
white things in their ears. Let’s not pretend to be surprised when they get
splatted, eh? We got to the woods, and
had a rather good wander round the woods. A shorter walk today; just over
three miles. As we walked up the slope back to the car park
we met a youngish lady and her dogs and Morgan and Bailey had a great game of
chase with them. And when I shared treats with them, Treacle was quite happy
for me to do so. Before we started Dog Club there is no way she’d allow a
non-family dog to have a treat. We’d started our walk early today as rain had been
forecast. As we drove back into Ashford so the
heavens opened. We came home for a cuppa,
then leaving “er indoors TM” having a
finance meeting I went to Bybrook Barn. Needing a
length of black hose for the new little pond’s filter (ninety-nine pence)
I spent over sixty quid. Four phlox plants, some garden ornaments, bird
feeders and bird food too. “er indoors TM” has
this idea she’d like to watch the birds as she works, and a bird feeder might
entice our feathered friends. It might… at the cost of those fat balls I hope
it does. With the rain stopped I thought I might crack on in
the garden. I disassembled the new pond’s filter waterfall thingy and plumbed
in the new hose. As planned, being black it is nowhere near as obvious as the
one it replaced. I then arranged a few rocks and stones around it. Then I sorted the shingle. Having scraped it all out
of the way last Friday, I scraped it all back again today. Then I rearranged
rather heavy stone garden ornaments before emptying weeds out of the smaller
stone planters and putting the phlox in them. I took a deep breath and then
swore at the dogs as they tried to dig them out again. After three hours I decided that enough was enough
and painted the sleepers. With them painted that would stop me walking across
them and doing any more fiddling about. I put the new garden ornaments onto the shed, then
logged into the wi-fi booster. Hopefully this will allow us to use the house
wi-fi in the garden. If it don’t I’ve still got
gigabytes of mobile data I never use. With my back aching I came in and made us both a cuppa. I had cake (I’d got some when at the garden
centre earlier). “er indoors TM” didn’t;
she had a Penguin biccie. Each to their own, eh?
More cake for me. As I swilled cake I priced
up what I’d spent on the little pond. Bearing in mind I got the waterfall at
half price (as it was ex-demo) and that some of the odds and sods were
recycled or already licking about in the shed, by the time I’ve paid for the
fish (hopefully next week) it will have cost me two hundred and fifty
quid. That’s not bad, really. I then had a stroke of genius (I have those from
time to time) and bodged together a little
bracket to the old upright which used to hold the insect house (until it
fell to bits). I was about to set up one of the new bird feeders on it,
but rain stopped play. I’ll do that tomorrow. “er
indoors TM” boiled up a
very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching another episode
of “Taskmaster”. My face is glowing… I seem to have caught the sun
today. Somehow. |
|
26 April 2024
(Friday) - On The Beer
As I scoffed toast I saw I
had another friend request on Facebook. Domina
Scarlett Lush claimed “I make you feel submissive, weak, and
eager to please.. there is no fighting your
addiction to Me”. Yet again I found myself wondering about Facebook’s
so-called Community Standards. I do like Facebook, but it could be so much
better. If it is isn’t ladies of dubious morals
brandishing their arses, it is the petty squabbles
over the most trivial matters. There was some quite intense bitching on the
UK Ponds Facebook page in which someone had asked a question, and there were
as many answers as there were people to give them; no two in agreement and
everyone aggressively shouting down everyone else. I saw someone had been round Kings Wood yesterday
and hadn’t been able to find one of my geocaches
there. They’d sent me a message to say they’d replaced it. I wish more people
would replace missing caches; saves me a job. Not having much time this morning
I took the dogs round the block chasing a unicorn which was dropping lucky
stars (it’s a Munzee thing). As we walked through the park there was a
minor incident. From about twenty yards away a small child started crying
because he claimed Morgan tried to bite him. The brat’s father glared at me;
I replied “From that distance? Seriously?” in a sarcastic tone. The
child immediately stopped crying and smiled and happily announced how cute
the dogs were. Father seemed happy with this. I was reminded of the more simple-minded cubs who
would say absolutely anything in their attention-seeking. With walk walked I came home, gathered dog turds from the garden (you wouldn’t believe how much
three small dogs produce) then made a cuppa for
me and “er indoors TM” and dished out the
last of the cake I got yesterday. I then looked at some geo-puzzles in Hastings in the
general vicinity of where I would be later. Having solved two I found the
finals were nowhere near where I would be. Three other puzzles looked a
little tricky, so with time pressing I asked a friend if he had the
solutions. He had. I wandered up the road to the train station and was
soon on a very crowded train to Hastings. We all sat and listened to some
loud old woman who was regaling whoever would listen with a constant stream
of drivel. The guard asked to see my ticket; I remembered my old mate who
used to be the guard on the Hastings line. Is it really eighteen tears since
he died? I arrived in Hastings to find it all rather
different to how it used to be. With a few minutes spare I walked to the old
town by going over the West Hill. A rather uphill walk. I walked past the
vicarage where out old vicar used to live back in
the day when I was thick with the church. The vicarage is now a dog groomer. Having found the geocaches I’d been after I made my
way to the Hastings Arms where I was soon joined by my brother and my cousin
who I’d net seen for years. It was good to catch up. Sister
in law and nephew joined us, we had a very good dinner and things got
very vague, as they do. Getting home was fun. I got to the train station and
caught the last bus home with minutes to spare. We drove to all the train
stations on the way home, and at each stop the bus driver asked if we would
all like to get out and wait for the train. Apparently
the train was running half an hour behind the bus, and the bus was going to
Ashford anyway, so why would we want to get the train? And the bus driver was
utterly unable to explain why there was a bus service when the train was
running anyway. I must have got home safely… I wonder when. |
|
27 April 2024 (Saturday) - Feeling Rather Grim
I
wasn’t feeling on top form when I woke this morning. Can’t imagine why. I
made toast and had a little look at the Internet and rolled my eyes at the
argument on the UK Ponds page. Someone’s pond water was green; did anyone
have a solution? Someone suggested chucking in a bale of barley straw. Some
said they’d done it and it worked, others said it hadn’t, and both sides were
openly calling the other liars. And there was a lot of ranting about the cash
machines being removed from a local hospital. The machines are old and need
replacing, but because hardly anyone uses them it isn’t worth the company’s
time to replace them. There was a lot of consternation being expressed by
people who openly admitted they never used the machines but thought the
things should remain in place as a public service. I thought about making the
observation that there used to be an actual branch of a bank in the
hospital when I started working there, but that it closed through not enough
people using it. We got ourselves organized and set off to the Repton
Estate. As we drove Steve was doing the “Guess the Lyrics” competition
on the radio. “Every day is like survival. You're my lover not my rival”.
It could have been anything; I hadn’t a clue. When Steve announced it was
Karma Chameleon by Culture Club I had a “dur!”
moment. Of course it was. Dog Club went rather well; the dogs all had fun.
There’s not really much that can be said about Dog
Club; we stand in a field whilst the dogs run riot. I love it. As we drove home I got the
“Mystery Year” competition wrong by one year. Boney M singing about a holi-holiday… I thought it was 1978. It wasn’t. We came home for a cuppa,
and I *again* posted details about how to pay to the dog club’s
Facebook page. Last week someone had complained that the text payment thingy
didn’t work and suggested I might like to sort it out..
I tried it; it worked. We then drove down to Kingsdown for the monthly
geo-meet. We met up outside the pub and wandered the beach for an hour or so
gathering rubbish. It was a shame that the dogs had to eat seaweed but there
it is. With rubbish gathered we stood chatting for a while
– it is always good to catch up with friends. It would have been good to have
spent the afternoon there, but I was rather wilting from a rather busy day
yesterday and today’s adventures. I slept most of the way home. We got home, did the “Feed The
Fish” ritual and then the rain started. After I’d had a little doze “er
indoors TM” went off out with her mates. I settled
in front of the telly with the dogs and watched a couple of episodes of “All
The Light We Cannot See”; a Netflix mini-series. It’s about two
youngsters in St Malo during the war. It is completely the sort of thing that
wouldn’t appeal to me at all, but Netflix recommended it, and so far it’s bee rather good. I’m going to have an early night in a bit… I’m
rather suffering from the excesses of yesterday. Back in the day I could
drink myself silly… not any more. |
|
28 April 2024
(Sunday) - Early Shift
I
was awake early this morning. As I needed to be. Rather than turning the
telly on I had a look at Facebook and found myself pondering as I saw who had
birthdays today. Four friends had birthdays. One of them had been a really close friend for many years; we’d shared so many
adventures together. Then one day when on a family holiday in Gran Canaria
two years ago I got a message that with no notice to anyone he’d upped
sticks, moved to Scotland and hasn’t been seen since. I wonder how he’s doing. There wasn’t much else happening on the Internet so I got ready for work. I tried chasing the unicorn which was scattering
magical stars as I walked to the car (it's a Munzee thing), but the
unicorn wasn't going the same way as me. I left it to do its thing and drove
off to work. I turned on the radio and caught the end of some
strange program about religious beliefs in the neurodivergent. It seemed that
religious leaders (vicars and priests and the like) aren't keen on
congregants who see the world differently to them. These people can't seem to
distinguish between the make-believe which is actually
make-believe (Harry Potter, tooth fairies and magical pixies)
and the make-believe which the religious want us to take seriously (all
the tosh the churches spout). This was followed by some article about beef farming
in an obscure Scottish island, but the chap being interviewed was on the dull
side, so I turned over to my rather wonderful choice of music and sang along
to that as I drove up the motorway. I got to work. Not having been there for a while I
checked my emails. My long service award for forty years of blood testing has
come through. I had a choice of vouchers for various shops, so I went for a
Lego voucher. I would rather have had cash, but I was told that I would have
to pay tax on a cash award but not on a voucher. How does that work? Lego it is then... Work was work. Having been off for five days it made
a nice change, and being at work forced me to leave
the new pond alone to settle for a few days, and not to do any more heavy
lifting. What with four-mile dog walks and rather strenuous
gardening I've been overdoing it somewhat lately. Blood testing has its
stressful moments, but it is a whole lot less physically demanding than how
I've been carrying on lately. I did my bit. Still suffering from Friday's epic
beer session, and still aching from last week's pond building. I
came home to find the grandchildren were having a day with Nanny. I had a
rather good time with “Stormageddon – Bringer of Destruction TM” who
was playing with the pond fish. “Darcie Waa Waa TM” was
good right up to dinner time. Having spent twenty-five quid on KFC she didn’t
eat a thing and just constantly screamed (for over an hour) for
absolutely no reason whatsoever. I’m
sorry but I don’t have the patience for that. And being wound up made me very
unimpressed to see the KFC had got the order wrong. Again. I’ve been going to
that KFC on and off since 1986 and (at the risk of sounding like a
reactionary old git) in all that time they’ve never employed anyone who
can speak English well enough to work in a KFC. If you check the receipt you’ll often find that what you order bears no
relation to what they think you’ve asked for. And the receipt is completely
at odds with the food you get. And there’s no point complaining because they
don’t understand what you are saying. Just
recently we’ve used the app and that works. I shall use the app next time. “er
indoors TM” has taken the
littluns home. I’m sitting on the sofa enjoying the peace and quiet. I’m still feeling grotty… |
|
29 April 2024
(Monday) - This n That
I
went to bed last night and slept for an hour or so before the dogs woke me. I
nodded off again only to be woken by the noise of one of “er
indoors TM”’s phones randomly phoning the other. I then
lay awake for much of the night before giving up and getting up. I watched an
episode of “All The Light We Cannot See” then
sparked up the lap-top. The Internet was its usual brand of nonsense.
Overnight my Facebook Friend count had gone down by one. Someone hates me. I
saw no end of photos of Alyson Hannigan (why?)
and quite a few adverts for fish pond filters. You’d
think whoever makes these spybots would figure out a way of not bothering us
with the adverts once we’d bought whatever it was we were looking for. Several friends were banging on about how cash is
far superior to credit cards. Cash is ideal for two sorts of people; people
who like wasting their time going to a shop rather than having stuff
delivered, and tax dodgers. I had a message from “Daddy’s Little
Angel TM” who had a guts ache. I told her it was probably
wind. It probably was. And I had an email. Yesterday I saw that the pockets
were wearing through on my trousers so I ordered up
another pair from Amazon. They were posted out ah twenty past three this
morning and I was told they should be arriving today. That’s the way forward isn’t it? Had I been farting
about with cash I wouldn’t be able to get to the shops until Wednesday at the
earliest. And the fish food I’d ordered was on the way too. Again I tried chasing the unicorn which was scattering magical stars as I
walked to the car; today it was gambolling in the
same direction as I was going, and I got six before we parted ways. I've now
got enough to drop into a wishing well and make a wish. Wishing wells,
magical unicorns - there really never is a dull
moment in Munzee. As I drove to work the pundits on the radio were
talking about how the Irish Taoiseach has got the arse. Ever since the UK government got the legal
thumbs-up to send illegal
immigrants to Rwanda the illegal immigrants have started running to
Ireland; they don't want to go to Rwanda, do they? Not surprisingly, the
Irish don't want them, and the Irish want the British to take them back. The
British government is taking the line that if we take illegal immigrants back
from one EU country when they leave the UK, then the EU should take them back
from us if they enter the UK from the EU. That strikes me as quite
reasonable. And so all of them coming across
the channel from France should go back to France. The French aren't keen... Hopefully if the word gets out that the UK won't
house them any more, the
illegal immigrants will stop coming, and the entire Rwanda thing will be
resolved. Whilst I do feel for the poor people running from all sorts of
horrors, once they are safe (entering Europe) do they really need to
keep running for hundreds of miles to come to the UK? (No - they don't!) And there was another interview with Patrick Harvie the
leader of the Scottish Green party. Ostensibly being interviewed about
the plight
of the Scottish premier he was (just like I mentioned last week)
more keen on spouting what he'd come to spout; talking through everything the
interviewer put to him. As I worked “er indoors TM” sent
the news that the birds had started scoffing from the feeder I'd got them
last Thursday. Just as well; it cost enough. So far they've only had a go at the seed feeder. Hopefully
they will have a go at the fat balls eventually. She also said that the fish food and my new trousers
had arrived too. And “Stormageddon – Bringer of Destruction TM” sent
me the Weiner Dog song.
Since he got his own mobile he's been sending me
occasional silly videos from Lube-Tube (as he used to call it). Getting home took some doing this evening. I eventually
got out of the works car park at about the time I would usually get home;
there was some major hold-up on the roads. I got home to find I had two
friend requests on Facebook. What a pair of delightful young ladies… The more innocent looking one (on the left)
had sent a quite indecent message with her friend request. The other one just
sent the photo. However bearing in mind the sort of saucy undercrackers that
these sorts usually wear, I think that this one has a lot of catching up to
do… I’ve got to go to work again tomorrow. Three days on
the trot – can you believe it? |
|
30 April 2024
(Tuesday) - Baby Reindeer
Another
iffy night. I got about an hour’s sleep before “er indoors TM” and
the dogs came up. Rather than just having a bit of a kip like anyone else
would, Bailey wanted to pick a fight with anyone she could. For a very small
dog she can be very pugnacious. I gave up trying to sleep just before five o’clock
and spent a little while plunging the bathroom sink’s plughole. It doesn’t
drain as well as it might. I made toast, watched an episode of “Bottom”
out-takes then had my usual look at the Internet. It was much the same as
ever; one big argument. People of the Star Trek Facebook pages showing how
they have never actually watched the show. And people on the pond-related
Facebook pages looking for an argument. There was one particularly impressive
squabble in which some chap wanted a waterfall for his garden pond but wanted
it to be environmentally friendly and use no power at all to make the water
move. I set off to where I'd left my car last night (two
streets away). As I walked so the Munzee magical unicorn was scattering
stars in entirely the wrong direction, but I'd gathered enough over the last
few days for me to chuck them down the Munzee wishing well (just outside
the hairdressers) and make a wish. The thing produced a virtual Munzee I
might chase - in the outlet centre. I gave up Munzee-ing and
went to get my car, Needing petrol I went to the Sainsbury's in Ashford.
The old bat behind the counter who has been difficult in the past has clearly
been spoken to. Today she was doing the job properly;
scanning the shopping and the Nectar cards just like all the other
assistants. She clearly wasn't happy about it though, and
had a face like thunder. Mind you she usually has that. I drove off to work up the motorway. As I drove the
pundits on the radio were talking about the delivery firm Getir
which is leaving
the UK market. They used to operate a business in which you ordered all
your shopping from whichever supermarket you wanted
and they would deliver it to you. However all the
supermarkets have realised that they are missing a
trick here and are now doing the deliveries themselves. As Oliver Hardy once
remarked over ninety years ago "cut out the middleman
Stanley". They then started dribbling on about the current
political situation in Scotland when I saw something that made me sit up and
take notice. As you come past junction seven on the M20 so the
slip road leading on to the motorway becomes the fourth lane. Usually I pull
over into it, but there was a car on the hard shoulder there seemingly at
right angles to the way it should be. I stayed in my lane to give it space,
and as I came past so I noticed it was moving. It
was doing a three-point turn, and I watched it in my rear
view mirror going off the wrong way back up the motorway. Work was work; a rather beautiful spring day turned
to rather miserable drizzle as I drove home. I gathered dog turds in the garden in the rain as the BBC’s weather app
told me there was a zero per cent chance of rain in my postcode. And Facebook presented me with a memory this
evening. Seven
years ago we went to deepest Sussex for one
of our geocaching walks. Back in the day when my joints weren’t entirely poggered we would go for serious walks. Fudge could walk
for miles. He wouldn’t though. He would pathetically look at Charlotte who
would always carry him, and as she carried him he
would glare at me as though to say not to let on that he was only pretending
to be tired. At the weekend someone commented that Morgan was
Fudge MkII. When we got him
I worried that he might be, and that was why I originally said no to having
Morgan. But they are very different dogs. He’s been gone over three years and I still miss my
Fudge though… We spent the evening binge watching something on
Netflix. “Baby
Reindeer” was rather good even if the end was something of a
let-down. |
