Entry for 08 September 2006
Finally got the decorating done. I like the finished result.
10th September - Knackered
I suppose I'd better write something as everyone else seems to be doing so these days.
After all the bows & arrows & beer
yesterday (as always there's piccies somewhere off
of www.mankybadger.com) I'm not sure
if driving to
I knew what was going on with snake herding seven years ago, and I did nothing. OK, I don't for one moment think that I could have kept the hobby alive single handedly, but keeping snakes as pets is effectively now moribund, if not actually dead. Kite flying could so easily go the same way. So I'll keep banging the drum....
In the meantime I've found how to directly link here from www.mankybadger.com - I'll use this more often now.
11 September 2006 - Fund Raising (he laughed!)
I took the afternoon off work to do all my
"fart arse-ing around™" so I'd have the evening
free for a scouting fund raising meeting. We're planning to take a couple of
dozen assorted cubs & scouts to
Two mums turned up. Out of a potential total of nearly fifty parents, we got two. But we had the meeting.... suggestions included sponsored this & that, Xmas bizarres, we seem to always be milking the same old people at these fund raisers. And it's the same old faces putting in the effort.
We need to come up with a money spinner that requires minimal effort & will milk more than "the usual suspects". But doesn't everyone?
12 September 2006 - Chess
As part of his Chief Scout’s Award, James was given the task of running an evening at Cubs tonight. He did a very good programme with cubs taking part in various events. “Yours Truly” was given the task of supervising the chess games (!) So, there’s half a dozen chess games in progress, and me wandering round supervising.
“Are you OK here girls?”
“And you both know how to play chess?”
“Yes – we’re in chess club at school”
“And you both want to sit on the same side of the board”
“So who is what colour?”
“Who’s black, then?”
“Yes – these ones over there”
“Oh, we’re not using those, we’re just playing with the white ones”
One wonders what goes on at chess club at school.
13 September 2006 Award-winning? No !
This was a bit of a rant. I’ve removed it for the time being. It will go back. One day…
14 September 2006 - Apathetically agnostic
I got into a religious squabble today. Some twit declared they were a Christian.
“So what church do you go to?”
“Oh I don’t go to church?”
“But doesn’t the bible tell us that it is better to share your faith in fellowship with other believers?”
“I thought you were a Christian”
“Well, yes but I don’t know the bible”
“So you’re a Christian who doesn’t go to church and hasn’t read the bible?”
“Yeeees…..” (bit nervous)
“But you do believe that God himself became mortal and died in pain for you personally?”
“Well, I’m not that into it.” (bit aggressive)
“So you’re agnostic?”
“So, you don’t go to church, haven’t read the bible and don’t understand or believe in the underlying tenets of your belief, but you’re a Christian?”
“Yes, that’s right”
“How do you work that out?”
“Belief” (Confident smile)
Rather a strange theological standpoint.
Presumably with the same logic I can prove black is white, and get myself run over on the next zebra crossing !
15 September 2006 - a trip to the dentist
Many years ago my dentist told me that as I spend so much on dental treatment every month it would actually be cheaper for me to pay into a private dental scheme. So I did as the chap asked, but after a while he left the practice.
I was then treated by another chap in the same surgery. Whilst being a very good dentist, he never ever kept appointments. Every single time I had an appointment I would get a phone call a day or so before telling me it had been re-scheduled for the next week.
After a few years of this I complained and was transferred to another dentist in the same surgery who again was a good dentist. He just seemed far more interested in the portable TV in his surgery than in the contents of my gob. I would lie on the couch waiting for the adverts, because he would do dentistry during the adverts. Occasionally he would respond to my theatrical coughs during programs, but not always.
Today I decided I’d had enough – this would be his last chance. He could look in my trap OR at the telly. It came as something of a relief to see that this wouldn't be a problem any more. There was a different dentist. One that had the telly switched off. After the obligatory waiting for them to get the right notes as there’s another chap of my name (25 years older…) there’s a bit of a hoo-hah about my private patient status, but I was assured all was OK, and they proceeded to do TV free dentistry...
When I went to make my next appointment I was told this new chap didn’t do private patients, and so I’d be transferred back to the one who never keeps appointments.
It was so handy having a dentist's surgery just down the road….
16 September 2006 - email - how could I ever live without it?
I checked my emails at 7.30 am this morning, and then went to work, and then out shopping with friends. When I came home and checked my emails again, I had 302 of the things. I had the opportunity to increase my wealth, I had the opportunity to increase the size of my penis, I had the opportunity to buy cheap viagra. Tiny teens, sexy russians and bored housewives are hot for me, and dethroned African royalty needs my personal help to recover their lost fortunes. I have been given inside information on the latest bestest thing on the stock market, and I've several offers to become an eBay power seller. Oh - and several American banks have pre-approved me for a mortgage.
I am so grateful for my anti-spam software.
Now to dust off my furry yellow ass and lose at poker.....
17 September 2006 (Sunday) Hell's Bells ? - No, the other lot !
I am regularly woken on a Sunday at 7.30am, and have been for the last fifteen years. The local church (100 yards up the road) clangs it's bell (just the one - and it sounds as if it's cracked) continually from 7.30 am till 8am.
I've emailed the vicar to ask the significance of it (and to ask him not to) - apparently it's a call to prayer. I've complained to the local council who are scared to get involved as it's a church.
So I'm laying in bed this morning, wide awake from 7am waiting for the infernal noise to start. It didn't. Let's hope for the best.
18 September 2006 (Monday) Downgrading...
This was a bit of a rant. I’ve removed it for the time being. It will go back. One day
19 September 2006 (Tuesday) - Define "History"
It's Tuesday, and every Tuesday night I
meet up with a dozen or so mates and we watch something vaguely sci-fi (ish). Over the last thirteen years we've watched pretty
much every episode of all the various Star Treks,
(Well, of course I knew what happened. I remember it happening. I remember standing in my Gran's back garden back in April 1970 looking at the moon, and worrying about those three astronauts.)
After the end credits were done, and we were chatting, one of our number commented on the show. Not only is it very entertaining, it's also educational. It's a history lesson.
No it's not ! It's NOT history ! History is ancient stuff. Apollo 13 isn't "history". I was there !
20 September 2006 (Wednesday) I am Thunderbird 4
Gordon Tracy would have been proud of me.
Picture the scene.....
I am wearing my best shirt (bought on the recommendation of my prospective daughter-in-law) and a pair of pants (blue). I am up to my chest in a cold smelly river, the mud is up to my shins, the bulrushes are way over my head, it’s getting dark, there’s something unmentionable swimming around my unmentionables and I’ve got a fit of the giggles.
It seemed like a lovely evening to go for a walk around the park, but twenty minutes into the walk there’s a ferocious squawking and quacking from the river. A duck (to be precise, it was a coot) had got itself entangled in discarded fishing line. The poor bird was incredibly snarled up, wings and legs at all angles, and a float sticking out to the side. What would you do?
In much the same way that Clark Kent rips open his shirt to become Superman, I popped off shoes, socks and trousers and with no regard to personal safety leapt into the river to save this unfortunate wildfowl.
Oh it was cold. And deep. And muddy. It was at this point that my giggling fit started.
Once I’d stopped laughing I saw I’d attracted quite an audience made up of ex-cub scouts and friends of my son. All of whom were wondering what I was doing in the river.
“Rescuing this bird”
In the excitement of getting myself into the river, the poxy thing had flown off.
21 September 2006 (Thursday) A father-son chat
A father – son ass-kicking….
“Oh – it’s you”
“Got anything to say for yourself?”
“Yes” (rather unsure)
“Don’t give me that – I’ve had phone calls”
“Oh” (Light beginning to dawn)
“Up the park?”
“Well, there was this duck”
“Well, coot really”
“Was there?” (dripping scorn)
“Well, more of a moorhen I suppose”
“Well, it was tangled in fishing line and I couldn’t just leave it”
“Couldn’t you?” (Getting cross now)
“Well, not really. And your Mum said…”
“Mum said! – I thought she’d be involved somewhere!” (Getting really cross now)
“So I had to try to rescue it”
“So you HAD do, did you. I expect your shirt is ruined as well. It’s not enough that you show me up on your rollerblades, you have to strip off and go swimming in the river in front of my mates as well, do you. You are SO embarrassing!!!!”
“Erm…. I’m going to my room”
“I should think so!”
22 September 2006 (Friday) I'm a genius !
Last September I started doing a
post-graduate certificate in Work-Based Tutoring with the
At the end of the module the successful participant is expected to be able to:
Principles of Work-Based Tutoring:
· a) Analyse & evaluate the major theories of learning and discuss their application to the practice of teaching, learning & assessment in work-based higher education and in relation to different learning styles.
· b) Analyse & synthesise broad and fundamental notions of tutoring and mentoring in work based learning in higher education.
· c) Critically debate the complexity of issues relating to the diversity of students in higher education, particularly those engaged in work based learning, and discuss the implications for equal opportunities in learning at individual & institutional levels.
· d) Plan, implement and critically evaluate the assessment of student learning related to a work based tutoring session in the light of relevant theoretical perspectives
· e) Debate definitions and value of reflective practice in teaching and learning in higher education in the workplace
· f) Discuss the diverse tasks associated with teaching in higher education in the workplace and address contradictory issues that might arise.
Reflective Practice in Work-Based Tutoring:
· a) Develop a method of critical reflection, analysis and evaluation of own practise as a work based tutor.
· b) Critically evaluate approaches to the planning, delivery and assessment of cycles of work based teaching and learning in light of their theoretical background utilising strategies for reflective practice.
· c) Propose and justify, in light of reflection and evaluation, approaches to future practise as work based tutors facilitating tutee’s learning
· d) Observe teaching and learning in diverse contexts and analyse and evaluate the implications for equal opportunities in learning with reference to relevant literature
· e) Assess own developmental needs as a work based tutor and develop a strategy for continuing professional development based on this assessment and the process of reflective practise.
I got the results today – I passed with distinction. Yay !!!
In celebration I got myself a “Duck Lifeguard” protective helmet.
23 September 2006 (Saturday) God laughs when we make plans
I had such high hopes for today. We were going to be at the Bat-farm by 6am, erect every piece of camping apparatus even remotely associated with the Ener-guys (and gals), waterproof the canvas, mend the tents, sort out enough pegs for every tent, put club logos on the bigger tents, blah-de-blah.....
On the way 'er indoor's car developed a strange clanging noise, so by the time we'd finished mucking around with strange mechanical noises, gone back home, swapped cars, etc. it was gone 11am. We then only managed to treat the canvas of four tents before running out of dangerous chemicals. Rather than getting more dangerous chemicals or carrying on with the myriad of other activities planned for the day, we said "stuff it" and went to see the fish at Grafty Green garden centre.
Mind you, a good day was had by all, a very enjoyable dinner, followed by feeding the fish in one of the Bat - ponds. Rounded up by a quick surf of the Internet http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/
24 September 2006 (Sunday) Hic !
Having poured the best part of two gallons of ale down my neck, please don’t be expecting too much in the way of wit and erudition. And I ache from the trampoline.
Lunch was booked for 1pm, so I was at the pub at mid day. By the time the birthday boy arrived I was well into the third pint. Binge drinking – me ?!?!?!?!?!
It was really good to find friends from years ago were along for the meal. As one goes through life one meets loads of people, and it’s too easy to lose contact with them.
Friends are special, and far too precious to lose!
25 September 2006 (Monday) - Prophesy
When one goes to the doctor with a sore throat, one does not expect to be prescribed with haemorrhoid ointment.
When one takes one’s PC to an IT consultant to have more RAM installed, one does not expect to have the CD drive thrown away.
When one opens one’s cornflakes box at breakfast, one does not expect to find marmalade.
When one buys a goldfish from the pet shop, one does not expect to receive a tortoise.
Why is this? Because we have expectations. If someone bills themselves as a professional/expert then we expect them to do what they say they can.
So why do we put up with such shoddy weather forecasting? Take for example the BBC’s forecast for my post code for today. The forecast for the day is “light rain”. The detailed twenty-four hour forecast doesn’t actually predict rain at any stage. What did we actually get? Heavy rain. All of which is totally at odds with what they predicted yesterday.
And we put up with it! Don’t forget that we pay for these forecasts either directly through the TV licence fee, or indirectly through taxes which run the met office.
I wish I could work like that. “Oh, WASN’T it a cold, Mr Jones? – what was it in the end? leukaemia? – Oh silly me!” and then we all have a good laugh and go on to stuff up someone else’s life.
The average person has more faith in their horoscope than they do in a weather forecast. So why do we take so much notice of them?
26 September 2006 (Tuesday) Local Geography
I had professional responsibilities in “another town” today. Whilst driving along I’d obviously missed seeing the road sign I was looking for. So I decided to ask one of the locals for directions.
“Excuse me mate”
“Am I on the right road for the hospital?”
“Hos-ti-pol ?” (completely blank expression)
“Yes – the hospital”
“Hos-pic-all??” (obviously never heard the word before)
“Yes – that’s right – great big building with doctors & nurses & ill people”
“Dunno – no idea – haven’t a clue !!”
And this was repeated at least a dozen times. Surely one knows where the nearest hospital is?
27 September 2006 (Wednesday) Reviewing the News
I see the Mona Lisa was smiling because she was either pregnant or had just had a baby.
also see the average person here in the
Perhaps if we hadn’t wasted hard earned cash finding out why the Mona Lisa was so happy, we’d be a bit more inclined to smile ourselves?
28 September 2006 (Thursday) Last Will & Testicle
As my son takes his driving test, I'm wondering where the years have gone. Pondering mortality reminds me that over the years I've always said about what I want to happen at my funeral. I know it upsets Kate (strange, that !), but I can't help but feel I should actually leave some instructions. If I don't the righteous will have a go at claiming me as a posthomous convert.....
· The funeral service will be in the scout hut, hopefully led by someone who's actually heard of me.
· No one will be allowed to blub, and we'll have NO flowers. If anyone has money to burn, give it to the scout group - NOT something funded by the government!!!!
· There will be a real ale bar for during & after the service.
· Songs to include "Wuthering Heights" by Kate Bush, "Pretend" by Alvin Stardust, "For the Normal People" by the Boomtown Rats.
· There will be at least one chorus of "Stop the Pigeon" complete with actions. (Dan knows what I mean!)
· In the post funeral piss-up, there will be a card game played on my coffin.
I'll add to this list as time goes by until such time as I'm called in to explain myself.
29 September 2006 (Friday) - Copying what the normal people do
I did something I’ve not done for ages this evening.
With all the family elsewhere, I sat and watched telly non stop for four hours. It was brill ! Kicking off with Doctor number nine and some Daleks, I moved on to the adventures of Del Boy who was attempting to get saucy with some old salt (he does that). Captain Kirk then succeeded to get saucy with the Dohlmann of Elass (he does that a lot). Doctor number ten kicked both Cyber- and Dalek-asses (and almost but not quite got saucy with Rose), and I rounded the evening off with some triffids getting saucy with anything they could.
Pausing only for a brief plateful of bacon, egg, chips & beans it was a wonderful way to spend the evening. Must do it again.
30 September 2006 (Saturday) A bit fishy...
For the last five years I’ve been driving
Tina bought me a smashing book about ponds (apparently it’s in honour of next Wednesday – God only knows what’s special about that date) which says that you should cheat and use the soil you dig out of the hole to build up the walls of the pond. That way you don’t have to dig quite so deep. It’s time to break the news to “My Boy TM”
“Dan – I’ve good news and bad news”
“The good news – that pond you’ve always wanted. We start tomorrow”
“The bad news – you’re digging it!”
Tomorrow we start excavating about twenty-one tons of soil.